I recently received a 5 month old Maine Coon Female. She is absolutely adorable, but seems petrified of me! She is practically invisible, always hiding somewhere. IF, I can catch her, she will let me hold her, but, I feel like I am forcing her. How can I help her adjust and relax. I have a dog also, but, I haven't "introduced" them yet, I didn't want to stress her out anymore! Any suggestions??? HELP!

-- Anonymous, October 10, 1998

Answers

When a cat is fearful, it often helps to limit the area it has access to, and spend as much time as possible the area with the cat. As the cat adjusts to you presence and becomes comfortable in it's own space, you can then increase the number of rooms it has access to. Introduce the dog only when the cat is comfortable, and through a door at first, so the cat can control the interaction.

Start by setting up a cat room, with food, water, litter box and some toys. Add a comfortable chair for you, some books, a TV or computer, so you will be comfortable spending time in the room too. Avoid phones, as a sudden ringing can startle the animal. A radio or TV turned on low during the day conditions the cat to 'people sounds'.

When it's time to feed the cat, take in the food, put it down near the cats hiding place, and then just sit down and watch TV or read. Do not look directly at the cat. Later, you can pick up a cat 'teaser' or other interactive toy, and play with it. Use a soft voice and slow movements.

It takes some patients, but timid cats often turn out to be affectionate, once you earn their trust.

Good luck, and let us know how things go.

-- Anonymous, October 13, 1998

We have a one year old MC (look-a-like, I think, we got her at the shelter)and she often "plays" like she is afaid (i.e. Holloween Cat image, hunced up back and darts out of sight). We came to understand this as her way of playing us. We figured this out, when after she would "run-away", she would always come back out as sweet as pie and purring loudly wanting to be petted. We think it is her way of playing hide-and-seek with us. This may be what is happening to you. If you leave her alone after she does this I'm sure she will come back out wanting some attention. Just remember that with MC's as in almost all cats IT HAS TO BE THEIR IDEA!

-- Anonymous, January 02, 1999

There is really nothing you can do to MAKE her affectionate. I have two Maine Coons who are 6 and 4 years of age. As both of them approached the 3 year old mark they became more interested in being "loved on". I have found that the best thing to do is to sit on the couch or bed (because they have enough room to sit where they want) and let them come to me and let me pet them. I had jaw surgery when Tristan my big male was three and the first night I was home and sitting on the couch watching TV he jumped into my lap and sat there for FOUR hours and let me pet him. He just purred and purred. I think he knew I was sick. Ever since he comes up on the couch and lets me pet him. But on his terms. I can't pick him up and put him there. So my advice is just be patient and your kitty will come to you. (And play with her using her toys!!)

-- Anonymous, January 14, 1999

I also had a hard time at the beginning he was afraid of both of us. He is only deathly afraid of my husband now and not me. It took a few months and my MC is 9 months old.

He comes on my lap now and sleeps with me only. I think you may have to be patience and time will tell, he may come to you, also try to ingnor him and see what he does.

Did you sit and see if he comes over to you? I know it has to be on their terms, because it shows in my MC (MOrris), only on HIS TERMS.

-- Anonymous, January 15, 1999

Just an update to my fraidy cat Morris. He is now lovable to me and tolerates my husband. He comes to my husband to get his treats and sits next to him. He has gotten alot better and much more lovable. He now sits on my lap when I'm watching TV and also sleeps on me, I guess he knows who is his mother now.

-- Anonymous, February 14, 2000