Since we're all enjoying mocking billy's lack of enunciation, and eric is a voice teacher and all, I thought a little section to share some of Billy's speech patterns would be good.

As Jackie had mentioned she thought he was saying "I want you to be a punk rocker."

I thought at first he was saying "I want you to be a blowfish."

He's saying "accomplished," but who the heck knows with this guy. I guess I could be a blowfish.

-- Anonymous, April 13, 1999

Answers

About the "get on your horse" thing -- I haven't done the videos yet, so I haven't seen this. But when he says to get on your horse, does he stand facing front, with his feet slightly more than shoulder width apart, and his knees bent? When I was in Tae Kwon Do, my instructor called this the "horseback riding stance". We did many of our punching and blocking drills in this stance. Maybe he's just thinking you'll intuitively know what he means, in which case he's wrong, and he should have explained it better.

You people have just about convinced me to give this thing a try. Does anyone know if movie rental places like Blockbusters carry them?

-- Anonymous, April 14, 1999

yeah, other's have wrote to me saying that "the horse" is that stance of sort of squatting and looking like a sumo wrestler.

He just never mentioned it before, and I thought that was a little odd. They all seem to forget we've never done this before. There are moves that never really get explained, and sometimes I'm not sure if I'm supposed to turn my hip or not.

-- Anonymous, April 14, 1999

Just look at that grammar on that entry above.

"other's have wrote to me?"

jeez. i need a nap.

sorry.

-- Anonymous, April 14, 1999

Man, you know, I don't think I've misunderstood stuff, but it's because it's way to mumbled to even try to understand. I just figure he's saying something motivational. So I usually just fill in what I want to believe he's saying. For instance, "Abs tight, stay tall, be strong...mumble mumble something something" becomes "Abs tight, stay tall...if you do that, you can eat like a pig after this since you'll burn so many calories."

I think he does say "get on the horse" though. The last time I heard that phrase was the short lived Eddie Murphy show "What's Alan Watching?" Where Eddie and Arsenio were leading a Free James Brown protest (this was when James was in jail) and then they imitate his dances and Eddie yells, "GIT ON THA HORSE!"

This isn't the same as mumbling, but when you do the sidekicks double time, and he yells "DOUBLE TIIIIIME!!" and then there is that echo effect thing, does anyone else feel nauseated? It's like an acid flashback. Not that I would know or anything, but I figure if I did, it would be a lot like the double time sidekicks on Tae Bo.

I'm on my night off from workouts, but I'll watch the tape and actually listen to what he says and see what I mis-translate from Blanks-ese.

-- Anonymous, April 14, 1999

Also those double-time shots were obviously shot separately from the tape, because you can see the edits sometimes (in the advanced tape there are problems with how long you do one side compared to the other... also in the three time jabs in the basic) and it seems that most likely some people fell on their asses doing the double time swivel kicks since it is the HARDEST THING IN THE FUCKING WORLD TO DO!

If anyone can do these without falling, please let me know, so I can make a special award for you.

Because, really, double time swivel kicks? you rock the hiz-ouse.

-- Anonymous, April 14, 1999

This isn't so much about mumbles, I hadn't figured out what Billy was saying when he said "accomplished." I thought he wanted me to be a "grand fish." For some reason, in that context, it didn't seem so odd, either. Anyway, I'm glad to hear others are having trouble with the double time sidekicks - those are fucking hard!

My pet peeve is about the women in the advanced tape. I can't stand the part where Billy makes that blonde woman work hard, taunting her by saying, "You know you're on television now, don't you?" And she smiles and TRIES HARDER. That's not working for me. First of all, you're on videotape, and second of all, why aren't you working it, Billy Blanks?? I know, cuz you're the coach. Then at another point he finally goes up to the African-American woman in the second row who totally kicks butt, but he sort of looks afraid of her and doesn't stay too long. That I like much better.

I'm loving the tae bo tapes, but pamie, I don't think I'm losing weight the way you are, you lucky!

-- Anonymous, April 14, 1999

On a sorta related topic, in the Alanis list, errr, song "Thank U," is she saying "ever-elusive good O" (as in orgasm) or "ever-elusive kudo"? I always thought it was the former.

-- Anonymous, April 16, 1999

Naw, when Jackie thought he was saying "I want you to be a punk rocker" he actually says "I want you to be a conqueror."

I just got Tae-Bo tonight. Jasmine disturbs me

-- Anonymous, April 18, 1999

Oh, man, you're right! He doesn't say "accomplished" at all! How the heck did I get "blowfish" out of that? I don't know.

But I tell you what. I'm sick of his lies. I'm sick of him saying "One more time!" and then saying it again. I hate that. Don't set a goal for me and then tack something else on.

Evil.

-- Anonymous, April 22, 1999

the one thing that's reaaaally getting on my nerves is when he's counting through a set, and starts a second set and does that 'one more time! we go one, two, three,' blah blah. that 'we go' part drives me up the wall!

heather

-- Anonymous, May 01, 1999

Naw, the annoying thing, and what drives me batty is when he tells someone else to count down and she's like"8....7.....6....5...." and he tries to fill in but says, "1.....2......3......4....." and while she's saying one number and going down, he says another and is going up!! And then he wants *US* to count along too?? With whom, Billy??

Geesh. I think I'll get the advance tape and then the Live tape, by the way. I know you're all interested.. :)

-- Anonymous, May 04, 1999

My Advanced Live arrived last night. I'll be sure to try and remember any new things he says for tomorrow... besides, I'm sure that's what the whole entry is going to be about, anyway.

I can't wait to see what spandex he's wearing this time.

(By the way, the cover of this tape has this close-up of his eyes right on the top, looking like the poster for Jack Nicholson's "Wolf")

-- Anonymous, May 04, 1999