How do you deal with a situation where you are forced to spend a certain amount of time with people you've never met and will probably never meet again?

-- Anonymous, April 16, 1999

Answers

I generally break the ice by announcing I'm going to kill everyone in the room.

-- Anonymous, April 16, 1999

God Pamie, you have so many layers.

Actually, I recently spent two weeks with people I've never met (jury duty) and I usually let them start the conversations. I'm shy. No really..

-- Anonymous, April 16, 1999

Depends on the situation that is bringing you together.

-- Anonymous, April 16, 1999

I find myself in this situation frequently, and if I know I'll never see them again, I lie, and usually describe myself as living a life I know they'll find offensive. In a room with vegetarians, I'm very pro- meat. With young artists in long skirts, I talk about the "art and culture of business being more beautiful than any painting." With business types, I ramble on about being in grad school and how all corporate folk are suits and whores. If they're French, I talk about Germans.

It's fun; it brings out their hidden prejudices along with their passionate beliefs, and it makes even the most boring social situation at least engaging.

-- Anonymous, April 16, 1999

This is the kind of thinking that gets to bite you in the ass later when you actually do run into one of these people and they're considering you for a job or audition.

-- Anonymous, April 16, 1999

I try not to fart.

-- Anonymous, April 16, 1999

small talk with strangers is an art form in itself. i try to not fall down, i try to not accidentally grab them in a socially unacceptable way (happens a lot, i once tripped in the hall and fell into the ass of the guy in front of me. he was none too pleasant about that.) i try to be normal, chat about the weather, or some other stranger-friendly topic, but usually say something that promps either the "too much info" look or the "yeah whatever you weird talky girl" look. oh well.

-- Anonymous, April 16, 1999

Megan:

That sure wasn't a very nice guy. I try to be as pleasant as possible when nice ladies fall into my ass.

-- Anonymous, April 16, 1999

I tend to be really goofy. Like, I can embarass myself a little in the name of fun. I know someone who once threw herself to the ground in a McDonalds and screamed she was having a "Big Mac Attack". That kind of thing is so much fun with strangers.

-- Anonymous, April 17, 1999

I hate meeting strangers. I usually go into overly talkative vivacious ninny mode, and afterwards I'm thoroughly exhausted and the strangers go away thinking, "Who was that annoying woman who wouldn't shut up?" Mostly, I just try to avoid strangers altogether. I find that going around with a sneer on your face helps a lot.

-- Anonymous, April 17, 1999

I like to dazzle them, make them think, "wow whos that really funny amazing guy", then I leave them, knowing that they cant ever see me again. But I know they will try. They cannot possess me.

-- Anonymous, April 17, 1999

Just can't help talking to people whenever there's that awkward silence. And then of course I'm the idiot who's said something totally out there, and everyone looks away.

Bookstores are my downfall - I feel a kinship with anyone who reads. I just have to warn them off a boring book, or revel in an exciting one. They all think I'm nuts, and following them. Mostly I don't.

-- Anonymous, April 17, 1999

Ah, bookstores. Last time I ran into a friendly stranger at a bookstore, we recommended books to one another (I had a gift certificate, and was picking up a pile of books), and I ended up getting three books I already had at home.

But most times I'm too shy to talk to strangers. I hardly even talk to cashiers in check out lines, even, aside from "don't put the bread underneath the cat litter."

- Katy

-- Anonymous, April 18, 1999

I just pretend to be at a family reunion.

-- Anonymous, April 18, 1999

For some reason, strangers usually talk to me first. Maybe it's the blue hair (or formally blue, now sort of a blue-gray sharkskin look that changes color depending on the light), or maybe it's the weird shirts ("So do you really love pork?"), but people generally think I'm the one person in the elevator/dr's office/bathroom line that they can identify with. Sounds like fun, huh? Just don't ask the 7-11 clerk "How's it going?" when your in a hurry--it's not going very well and there are a myriad reasons why.

-- Anonymous, April 19, 1999

If I like the people, I'll try and listen a little more, but generally, especially if I have one friend with me, we try to be as in your face as possible. Because, hey, if they can take that, they can take anything.

Like once, we were at a party and my friend saw some girl pick up the book "Maus" off the bookshelf (for those of you who don't know, it's an animated book basically retelling the story of the holocaust through Mice and Cats. Very dark and depressing). He knows this girl is very into the history of that, and since we're both Jewish, he feels fine in saying.... "Oh Maus! I love that book!! It's so funny with all the cartoons! I mean, it's like Tom and Jerry!! Hehehe!"

So she gets moved to almost tears, and he adds on, "Hey, if the holocaust ain't funny, I don't know what is -- and I'm jewish so I got the cred to say that!!"

So the girl cried and left.

So maybe that's not such a good ice breaker, huh?

-- Anonymous, April 19, 1999

I talk.....a LOT. If I am really nervous, I fidget while I talk, and it becomes a rather uncomfortable babbling situation, because I will come up with the most OBSCURE factoid, or the most inappropriate story, or completely unrelated subject.....and it generally leaves people looking at me with this utterly stranded expression on their face.

But you only need to get really worried if I start using Jessi-Speak, which very few of my friends know how to decode. Than, just try to tune me out, I'll understand. Really, I will. ;)

-- Anonymous, April 20, 1999

I normally just sit there and grin..which is odd because normally I am a fairly melancholy fella'. I just look around at folks and grin really big and bob my eyebrows and sometimes wink in a conspiring way like we are all in on the big joke or secret or what have you.

They probably all think I'm a big perv...as they weakly smile back and bob their heads

-- Anonymous, April 20, 1999

In a crowd, or standing in line waiting for something (say a ride at an amusement park or a theater) I generally say nothing and do nothing. I leave people alone generally, or read a book. I find it interesting, how many people will interrupt you while you're reading a book in line like that. I don't mind if they've read the book and want to talk about it, but the one thing I hate the most is some complete stranger, seeing me peacefully reading a book, and then crossing this invisible line as clear as daylight. "What are you reading?" Saying nothing, I hold up my book and flash the cover at them. They look and mouth the words of the title to themselves. "Is it good?" Nod. "What's it about?" Exasperated look. "It's about this guy who thinks he might have killed this other guy, but doesn't know for sure, so he starts freaking out and killing everybody around him." Strange look. "Oh."

Someone mentioned Jury Duty a few posts back. That's an interesting experience too. Last year I was selected to serve and ended up being locked up in a little bitty room for 2 MONTHS with 15 strangers. At first it was all awkward, and quiet, with a few louder, sociable people. At the end, you're all good buddies who plan to keep in touch for life. Almost like family. I rather enjoyed that one. Made a good friend BECAUSE of my books even.

Of course, a year later we never get in touch anymore.

-- Anonymous, April 20, 1999