Is there someone in your life that you've always had as a best friend? Is there someone that you never expected to stay so close for so long? Is there someone you lost touch with that you miss? Time to talk about how great our friends are and what we learn from them.

-- Anonymous, April 29, 1999

Answers

Friendship can not be taught. By the same token it can't be bought and it can't be canned. It's a learning process and it is fueled by experiences. Often very frustrating and arduous experiences, but these are the ones that truely test one's right to use the word friendship. I was blessed with the oppertunity to get to share and discover many of these experiences with an extremely intelligent (she likes to read) and passionate older woman. Not much older, but I think we could both tell. We spent many hours engaged in video games and listening to music. The family was always a souce of entertainment for us because it didn't really seem like it was her's. Dare I say she was to evolved to be a member of it. I say that with love. She inspired me and made me feel special and I will always treasure her for that. And the fabulous thing is that she continues to suceed in her quests. Squishy, may the force be with you.

-- Anonymous, April 29, 1999

That is another thing that makes me cry--why am I always on the wrong thread? No really, my best friend is moving out of my area, and all the way across the country in a couple weeks. He finally got married a little while back and the little lady wants to raise their new little boy around her family. I just barely got used to him being married, and now he is already havin' little bobby's. Yeah, his name to me, is Bobby. That is who he was in the seventh grade that is who he will remain. He tried Robert for a while(his real name). Now he has everyone call him Bob. Except me--he didn't even try. We did just about everything together. I remember naked truth or dare on the golf course; yes,naked--just start out that way to save time and get to the real good stuff like climbing radio towers-naked, and diving into sand traps--naked. Great fun. Narrowly escaping prosecution and incarceration on prom night. Oh yeah. Come to think of it he was probably getting me back on my wedding day(of course he was the best man) by getting thrown in jail so that I had to have my real brother be my best man. Nah, probably not. This is the man who has seen me laughing and sobbing through life. In fact he gave me this frankenstein of a computer 'cause he was tired of me saying "someday". So you can blame him for taking up your time and space on this here WWW. I'll miss ya Bobby--you better e-mail me,Punk.

-- Anonymous, April 29, 1999

When I was in high school, I became close friends with this guy named Mike. We were inseperable; I thought of us as brother and sister, in a way, although we are probably the least similar people in the world (especially in regards to our upbringing -- I am from a fairly well to do fam while he is not). Many people often thought we were dating, not just friends. Unfortunately, our friendship ended during senior year when he told me that he had been in love with me, and then accused me of knowing and taking advantage of that. (Honestly, when he told me, I was shocked to bits, and sad that I hadn't known earlier.) So, he was pissed because he thought I had been taking advantage of his feelings for me.

Anyway, it's 4 years later, and he wrote me an email. It made me realize how I miss him and I wish that we were still friends. (Also made me realize that I should have dated him in high school )

-- Anonymous, April 29, 1999

Friends Comment No. 1: I made the fatal error of getting all romantic with a very good friend. We were blissfully happy for nine months and then the baby broke us up ... no! Just joking, then he dumped me from a great height, breaking my heart for the only time so far and effectively ending our friendship. He's since tried the friends thing again, but I just can't do it.

Then again, I also had a glorious two month fling with another very good friend (does anybody see a pattern emerging?) and it was fantastic, but that was probably because it ended by me emigrating, so it didn't have time to get messy. I'd always fancied him, and for some reason I knew that if I didn't get all romantic with him at that time it would never happen. And sure enough, after two months in London I met Tristan, we were engaged five months after that, and married seven weeks ago!

Friends Comment No. 2: I've been having a bit of a friends problem lately - a reasonably close friend from university has changed to the point where I just can't relate to her any more. She got married a couple of years ago to a great bloke, but she hated his job and his family, and has persuaded him to move to Sydney for a change of scenery, because she couldn't find a job she liked in New Zealand (because her Arts degree doesn't seem to qualify her for much and she doesn't seem to have cottoned on to the idea of some further training). I saw her last October for the first time in 18 months and she was so bitter - life has obviously not gone how she thought it would, and it seems like nothing will satisfy her now. I could handle that and be supportive if it wasn't for the fact that she so blatantly resents the fact that life is going so well for me. She met Tristan for the first time then, barely spoke a word to him, and came to our wedding to again not speak to him, hardly speak to me, and not speak to anyone else either!

They headed off to Sydney the next day, and she's not been in touch since, although she has written to a mutual friend (and discribed the wedding as 'touching', Tristan's speech as 'sweet' etc etc - not exactly ringing with sincerity).

I just can't be bothered with her anymore. I can't make her life any better, her problems have been of her own making, and I resent her begrudging me a happy life, but on the other hand I don't like to forsake her. I'm starting to think she may be a 'habit' friend - one of those people you count as a friend because you once had a lot in common with them, although the two of you are now so separate that the only thing you have to talk about is the 'good old days'!

At least my Mum is still my friend!

-- Anonymous, April 30, 1999

Jackie: I have the same problem with my sister. She made her choices and now her life is completely messed up. She never visits because she can't stand seeing our beautiful house and my beautiful kids. How's them apples? Why can't she just be happy for me?

At least you can just find a new friend. I can't just go out and find a new sister.

-- Anonymous, April 30, 1999

I have just such a friend...the kind that I can call after a year and not say my name, she knows just who it is. She's the one who sent me to squishy, as a matter of fact.

I was trying to figure out the jealousy angle and realized that that's why these OTHER kinds of friends are so different, and probably why they last. Judgement and comparison are suspended, completely suspended. The suspension includes information about our mates, sexual adventures, food preferences, eating habits, shaving habits...everything. No explanations, no excuses. We just laugh along, ponder, analyze, tell the story. We live absurdity together.

It's great, she's great, we're great. What a gift, thanks.

-- Anonymous, May 02, 1999

This is a topic that my friends and I talk about a lot. We're a very diverse group, and are realistic enough to realize that we will not all go to the same college like the gang from "Boy Meets World." STill we all talk about taking road trips the summer after we graduate, and throwing eachother baby showers, and things of that sort. It's sad though. It wasn't until this yearthat all of those plans are discussed with a bitter tone, because we know we only have three years left together.

My friends and I are close enough that I don't hesitate to tell them anything. They know my strengths and weaknesses - and habitually know what time of the month to stay off my back. My best friend of nine years has fallen in with a different crowd, but we can still pick up the phone and fill eachother in, and talk for hours.

This year I became really close friends with a guy. He sort of filled in for my best friend, although no -one could ever really take her place. When another guy hurt me (He gave me the "lets' just be friends" line) My trusty guy was there to comfort me. Within two months of that, our friendship had evolved into romance. Four months later, it's still going wonderful, but sometimes I still wonder if maybe I made a mistake. He and I are so close - I don't know what I'll do when the relationship ends. I told him that, and he told me he couldn't see himself not being frinds with me. I think we'll always keep in touch.

Thanks, Pamie, for showing me that friendships don't have to end with highschool!

-- Anonymous, May 02, 1999

friendship definitely doesn't have to end in high school. One of my best friends from high school (ten years ago) just moved back to town. She is one of those people that i will always love. Even over the times when we have not seen each other for months... when i see her i still feel that connection. I know that wherever we go, in twenty years if i see her we will still f eel it. that's a great and rare thing.

-- Anonymous, May 03, 1999

Just a simple thanks for putting into words exactly how I feel but could never express as well as you did.

Chris

-- Anonymous, May 04, 1999