Are you the one trusted with all the secrets, or are you the last to find things out because you always end up spilling?

What do you find yourself doing when you have to keep a secret?

-- Anonymous, June 08, 1999

Answers

I'm a good secret-keeper, but I'm a total hinter. I'll hint to anyone about what I know. Hint! Hint! Hint!

This is mostly to let people know that I know what they don't know. It's very important to me to be "in the know."

So I'll hint. I'll construct huge hints that I'll just froth over until the opportunity arises to give a hint. And I'm invariably frustrated by the fact that nobody wants to hear my incredible, wonderful HINT! C'mon, guys, I know someting! Don't you want a hint?

Worse than spilling the beans, it is.

-- Anonymous, June 08, 1999

I hate keeping secrets but I always feel good that someone trusted me enough to tell me (it's flattering - the whole world isn't allowed to know the secret, but I am allowed to know!).

Well, the only problem is that I'm horrible at keeping secrets. The worst! I just have to tell but I can't come out and say it, so when someone I know comes over to me, my face will scrunch up.

Friend: "What's wrong, Maggie?"

Me: "Ohhh, noooothing. Nooothing aaaat alllll!!"

Friend: "Okay, talk to you later."

Me: "Oh, you're leaving now? Oh, okay, your loss."

Friend: "What do you mean?"

Me: "Nothing. Nothing at all. Go now. Have a nice day."

Friend: "Okay, what's going on. Tell me!!"

Me: "Tell you what? What are you talking about?"

Friend: "Tell me, tell me, tell me or I'll kill you and kill you dead!" (like there's any other way to kill someone other than dead!)

And then I have to tell, of course, because my life was threatened. And no secret is worth dying over, right? Well, none of my friends ever believed that either.

But, if you get me drunk, then you skip over all the bullshit and I just come out and tell everyone the secret without being prompted. Even people who don't care and I don't know. Liquor is a bad thing!

-- Anonymous, June 08, 1999

i'm terrible at keeping secrets. but if i get burned one too many times (meaning saying the wrong thing to the wrong person at the wrong time) i learn my lesson.

my mother and my brother are even worse at keeping secrets and i've had a secret that i've known for a month and i can only discuss it with my husband. if i tell my mother, well..... she'll tell my brother and then the proverbial sh*t will hit the fan.

so what's the big secret? hah, like i'm gonna post it here for the world to see.

-- Anonymous, June 08, 1999

I'm good at keeping secrets. But I do tell my mom and sister everything, so I suppose I'm not good at it at all. But they don't tell anyone. We all will talk about it, but it also gives me two more people to depend on to help me give advice and all. :)

-- Anonymous, June 08, 1999

Did I miss it? What are you getting Eric for Birthday Week? Now I wanna know.

-- Anonymous, June 08, 1999

Oh, don't you start too... :-)

Everyone will find out when Eric's birthday week is going on.

That means you, Eric, so don't start harassing people because you think they know. They don't.

-- Anonymous, June 08, 1999

I love having a surprise up my sleeve, but I almost bust with them! I am always Dying to tell and fairly bubbling over. I drive the people around me bonkers because I can't stand the wait. Can't wait to hear all of Eric's surprises! I'm assuming that there is more than one since it's a whole week! Sounds like a lot of pressure to me Pamie!

-- Anonymous, June 08, 1999

Don't worry, Pamie -- I think I speak for everyone in the forum when I say that none of us will forward to Eric that secret e-mail you sent out telling us what you got him....this is one secret we'll be sure to keep (you won't mind if I send it to my wife to drop hints about my own birthday since it's just such a cool thing that any sane man would kill to possess, right?).

-- Anonymous, June 08, 1999

You're gonna get me in trouble, for sure...

geez.

-- Anonymous, June 08, 1999

What are you getting him for Birthday Week?

-- Anonymous, June 08, 1999

I'm a really good secret keeper. Allot of people tell me their secrets because they need to tell someone, and they know I'm a safe outlet. They can vent all they want, and ut'll never go any farther than me. Conversely, I have VERY few people that I can tell secrets to, and I won't even tell THEM all the secrets I have, most of the time. My dad, my fiancee and my best friend are the three privilaged people who get to hear what I'm thinking almost all the time.

My sister is a HORRIBLE secret keeper. You can always tell when she knows something, because she grins. That's it...she doesn't say anythin, she just grins until you ask her what she knows, and then she spills. When it comes to present secrets, my mom and I have to get creative, because my sister and especialy my brother will always try to find out what we got them.

-- Anonymous, June 08, 1999

My problem with gossip and secrets is that I forget who told me something! So I'm likely to comment on a bit of news or gossip to the person it's *about*, even when I shouldn't.

-- Anonymous, June 08, 1999

I'm very good at keeping secrets. Enhanced by having worked in Taxation and DSS in Oz, and as a part of my job knowing a whole lot of majorly personal stuff.

People tell me stuff, because they know I don't spill. Jeff is the only person I tell, and he doesn't tell anyone else. I also seem to have such disparate groups of friends, that the occasional spill has no impact.

For me, it's not important that other people know that I know, it's important that *I* know. Telling other people usually would mean I wouldn't get to hear future secrets.

I usually forget to say anything about it even after it's general knowledge. It's my policy to make sure that they didn't find out from me.

A.

-- Anonymous, June 08, 1999

I can keep a secret, but I can't hide the fact that I know something. Because of our travel plans at Christmas last year, my husband didn't open his present until the 30th, and I'd bought him this thing back in November and I was so excited I almost burst! But I didn't tell.

I drop hints, though. Sometimes really obvious ones. Once when I was about four, I got my mom a hat. My mom loves presents - she doesn't care what's in them, really, she just likes opening them, and she always tries to get people to spill early. I told her I wouldn't tell her what I got her, but I'd give her a hint, and the hint I gave her was (Oh, god, I can't believe I'm going to humiliate myself by telling everyone this): "It starts with H and ends with T and rhymes with BAT!"

She acted surprised anyway. I love my mom.

-- Anonymous, June 09, 1999

My brother and me are the best secret keepers. His wife actually calls us the Keepers of Arcania. We always upset them(wives) on present occasions because 99% of the time we guess what our gifts are on the first try. Consequently they go to great lengths to try and conceal the nature of the gifts. Never works. It just makes it worse that they can never guess theirs.

-- Anonymous, June 09, 1999

Just ignore "derrick" and he'll go away. don't give him any attention. that's all he wants.

poor eric. once a poser, always a poser.

(Ooh, I'm gonna get it for that one...)

-- Anonymous, June 09, 1999

OK, here's the thing with me and secrets. I find it easy to keep secrets if someone says to me, "I have something to tell you, but it's a BIG SECRET! So you have to SWEAR not to tell ANYONE!" Then I swear, and then they tell me, and even if it comes up in conversation and I'm dying to tell what I know, I keep it to myself and don't drop hints or anything because I swore I wouldn't tell, and I won't.

The problem is that most people who tell me secrets just skip right over that important step. They just launch right into some deeply personal story while we're having lunch or something, and even though I can tell it's important and personal, I often fail to make the jump to considering it private, confidential information. So if something comes up in conversation and I can make a contribution by sharing someone else's deeply personal story, often I'll do it just because the story comes to my mind and doesn't have that red, glaring SECRET sign over it in my head.

And then the person gets mad because I told and I feel bad because in retrospect (usually because of people's interested or shocked reactions) I always realize how personal and confidential the information was and that I really shouldn't have told it. But, on the other hand, all they had to do was tell me it was a SECRET, and I would never have told.

So if you have friends like me, just always make sure you make it very clear to them when you're sharing confidential information. For example, I'd never tell Eric what Pam's getting him for birthday week because she said it was a secret and that I wasn't to tell.

-- Anonymous, June 09, 1999

Who is this Derrick guy you keep talking about?

-- Anonymous, June 09, 1999

I always tell my man, which is a crummy thing to do to friends. but now they all just assume that if Chris knows, Melissa will know and vice versa.

I always spill my own secrets too. If something embarrassing or serious happens to me, I tell all who know to keep it to themselves. And then a few minutes later, I'm out in the livingroom telling my whole family and whoever happens to call within a two hour period.

I'm like an old person (not to be demeaning). I tell everyone about every ingrown hair, lump, bump, and infection that I get. I just can't keep myself from it, but luckily most of my friend's are wise enough to ignore it by now.

-- Anonymous, July 06, 1999