Does your little voice get you into fights and arguments? do you listen to your little voice? Does it second guess you?

What makes you overcome your little voice?

-- Anonymous, June 15, 1999

Answers

Let's just say your little voice and my little voice were obviously close friends in a past life and leave it at that.

One top tip though is this - wallow in feeling miserable every now and then. Tell Eric that you just don't feel too thrilled with life, and retire to bed with a good book and some Ribena (or whatever blackcurrant juice-based drink you favour). Then, he may be a bit pissed off that you're not cheerful, but at least you can't be held accountable for any little disagreements that brew when you're not feeling 100%. He was warned!!

(works for me, Tristan now knows that if I'm feeling down enough to say 'I really don't feel too cheerful today' he's to handle me with care).

-- Anonymous, June 15, 1999

I don't listen to the little voices... they put you on meds if you say you hear them...

-- Anonymous, June 15, 1999

Oh. My. GOD.

I do that ALL the TIME! I have those voices, I did think it was just me that did that- when I am down and I want more romance from my sweetie, all that EVER seems to come out of my mouth is "I don't know what's wrong with me" or "I'm not sad" or that stuff!

it sucks to be so lame.

-- Anonymous, June 15, 1999

Ahhh! Who - uh...WHICH one is Pamie! I need to know! Help me!.....

-- Anonymous, June 15, 1999

I'm amazed again by you, Pamie. I was sure that no one else had ever had thoughts to themselves like you expressed there. I even had to go so far as to copy one 'inside Pamies head' details because I know I've thought exactly that more than once and I probably need to get into the habit of saying it outloud.

I guess us girls don't really have the nerve enough to just come out with it so we let ourselves be miserable. I don't think I could have said it any better than you.

You are the bomb, girl, and don't forget it.

-- Anonymous, June 15, 1999

All of the "Chuy" guessing is actually taking place on the "Birthday Week Trivia" page, which you can reach by going here. My bad, I posted the wrong link. Sorry.

-- Anonymous, June 15, 1999

Pamie, you stole my little voice! Give it back, it's about the right time for me to be a freak and grump out on Muffin (that's MY "Eric", but I don't call him Eric, cause that's not his name). Seriously, I have that damn voice too! I'll be all grouchy and sad and feeling seriously unloved (WHY i feel like that is a mystery), and I'll just be pouty and icky. Then when Muffin asks me what's wrong in his "caring man" tone, I just think "Oh, you don't care, you don't really care if I'm sad or not, you just want me to get off the bed so YOU can lay down". SO I'll tell him nothing, and he'll ask agian, and so on and so on, until he's gone from really caring what's wrong to wanting to strangle me. He'll be sympathetic, and try to touch me, and I'll think "He just wants sex", and then if he DOESN'T touch me, I'll think "He doesn't love me, he doesn't think I'm pretty anymore". My poor Muffin, he just can't win.

For the record, I love my baby. He's a VERY good boyfriend.

MellieBee

-- Anonymous, June 15, 1999

The little voices overwhelm me. Not only do they argue with me when I am going to do something I am not sure about, they narrate everything I do: "I walk towards the dining hall, feeling repulsion at the mere thought of what we are going to eat tonight. It would be logical to murder the kitchen staff, but it would not be legal" or "Why can't I be pretty and slim and smart and entertaining and talented?". Usually, it's mean, and when I'm really depressed, the hardest thing is getting it to shut up. I find the best way is to draw cartoons. The little voices are too busy admiring the artwork to talk.

Everyone's little voices should get together and have a party! If we can get them out of our minds, and onto the dance floor, inner peace will be a lot easier to find!

-- Anonymous, June 15, 1999

Holy Cow, I've been having the exact same conversation in my head since this past weekend. My husband keeps asking what's wrong, and telling him "I'm just grouchy" isn't working. I was hoping it meant I was pregnant, then I could just blame it on those crazy hormones. Maybe there's just something in the air.

-- Anonymous, June 15, 1999

i think everybody has voices (at least, that's what the psychologist told me)
i dunno.
i used to have a serious voice in my head... with a name and a personality and an alarming desire to see me dead. however. i buried her, and can now deal with the pleasantly benign, if irritating, voices that everyone else hears too.
i talk to myself constantly, internally when i'm with others, externally when i'm alone. it's one of those scary things that you *know* is normal but you can't stop worrying about. i stop in the middle of a sentance, stare into the mirror and shudder to think what a nutcase i am.
the romance thing works for me too. if josh does anything that i take wrong, my little voice is all over it. "he didn't look at you when he said he loves you! he's staring at the nintendo! he hates you! you're ugly! he's rather be with Yoshi!" it's very disturbing. and then because i am disturbed i close up and won't tell him what's wrong and he looks all sad and hurt, and that usually shuts me up.
but alas, i think i am doomed forever to hear things.

i kind of like it though, you know? it's comforting to have that voice there. i don't know if it's like that for you guys, but for me, i always have someone to talk to. she's not always pleasant, or friendly, or even very intelligent, but she's always there.
and that's more than can be said about anybody else.

-- Anonymous, June 15, 1999

I suspect that my little voice is more the "real me" than I am. She says the things I would say if I wasn't so worried about how someone else might feel, or if I thought I could say whatever I felt AND keep my position at the university.

Interestingly enough, now, when I don't respond to my little voice, when I keep its verbal spewings inside my head, and let them ramble and vent or do whatever it is that it wants to do, I find that I am better able to manage my personal life, and my academic life. The only time my little voice merges with my voice is when I am talking with my kids.

They are the only people in my life who can appreciate my little voice for who she is.

Somehow, the entire thing strikes me as unhealthy and that if I am who I say, and think, I am, my little voice would have a much louder say.

-- Anonymous, June 15, 1999

I have the unpleasant pleasure of having no censor or referee between my regular voice and the little..er.. Big voice inside my head. Thankfully, most of the time, I can wait until most folks are out of earshot before I turn to someone else and tell them what little voice had to say about the departing person. Sometimes not. At least my head voice is generally controlled by logic and truth rather than nasty emotion. So if they do hear I have a leg to stand on and general truth to back me up. Example? If someone is being an asshole I will usually tell them. If they don't like it? tough. Everyone around us knows it is true so the person usually gets the "Yes, you are an asshole vibe" and backs off.

My wife gets tired of this little quirk though because for instance if she is feeling bad and her little voice knows what is wrong but is not sharing I will badger her until she tells me. Or when some innocent person walks by and asks me "Hows it goin'?" I usually tell them, to their horror. I try to at least preface it now by saying 'You don't really want to know, do you?' But if they are fool enough to say 'Yes' then I tell them; and then say 'Aren't you glad you asked?'

I used to be so shy and quiet. I wonder what happened to me?

-- Anonymous, June 15, 1999

My little voice alternates between Dennis Miller and any pop culture reference, mostly quotes from movies or the Simpsons. Since it takes too long to explain the references to other people, for the most part I just keep myself. Sometimes it slips out, however, and I either have to explain myself or just run away. Example: when I worked at a bar in college, we had just had a huge night (I believe during the Olympics, and the bar was in Athens, GA, where they had the women's soccer), so everyone was relaxing after we closed. One of the female bartenders had her head in my lap and I was rubbing her hair and said as a direct quote from Homer, "You got purty hair, ahghagha (my best attempt at his slobbering)" She suddenly shot up and gave me a horrified expression. Though I hastily explained that it was just a quote, and that episode of the Simpsons had been on earlier that day, she never looked at me quite the same. Of course, maybe it's just because I'm a big geek who quotes cartoons.

-- Anonymous, June 16, 1999

Any argument I get into is because of my little voice. I was doing the same thing as Lucy from above. I always try to figure that it's just my crazy hormones out of whack and try to figure out my cycle and when I'm due to see if that's the cause. Inside my mind thoughts and doubts and insecurities are raging and I'm screaming, but outside nothing comes out but a sigh and a whispered "nothing", a shake of the head and then I sit and stare out the window. I was always told this was my one of my big weaknesses, my inability to communicate my emotions properly...but if so many of us are experiencing this, we can't all be so darned passive...can we?????

-- Anonymous, June 16, 1999

Your little voice wouldn't be getting you into fights if it did not represent some desire on your part. When you ask, "What makes you overcome your little voice?" you are asking what makes someone suppress their own desires.

So in effect you are asking how to fulfill the desire to eliminate desire. That's crazy, because the desire to eliminate desire is, in itself, a desire, and you have frustrated yourself accomplishing nothing. I think that it's safe to say that the popularity of Squishy is based on the audience's desire to see your triumph as an individual, which we get to see as the voice in Pamie's head (not unlike when babies learn how to behave by watching other babies).

As for the distress over your relationship which occassionally stymies Eric, well... you put yourself under a lot of pressure.

I think that the average college graduate can count on only 3 years of independent sanity in their 20's. In college, you are too busy completing a program to impose any unrealistic goals on yourself. After college, you waste time trying to accomplish what you think you should accomplish before you are 25. (Ie. you make yourself crazy burying your little voice, because society has voiced its expectations on you, and like an idiot, you try to fulfill society's fickle desires.)

At 26, 27, and 28, you mellow out. You've either failed at fulfilling society's expectations, and you realize your little voice is as sane as anything else, or, you're one of the few who fulfill society's expectations, and find society's reward inadequate. After all, society doesn't have your best interest at heart, but your little voice does.

This isn't to say that there are no sane 24 year olds, or insane 26 year olds. Hopefully, just understanding that normal people behave irrationally helps put you at ease.

At 29, the pressure of turning 30 makes you forget everything you learned, and you go a little bit crazy again. This is a stage of major life changes: career changes, marriages, divorces, having children, etc.

Just remember that your relationship with Eric needs to take a life of its own. If you impose unrealistic expectations on it, it will die. If you listen your little voice, and he pays attention to his, your relationship will let you know what it needs to survive.

If you get distressed over how you and Eric are getting along, don't have a meltdown. Just remember that you are just a perfectly normal insane couple.

-- Anonymous, June 16, 1999

Andy- HAH! I do the same thing. In fact, when I opened up this topic, it reminded me of Homer threatening to stab his brain with a Q-Tip. I have most of the episodes of The Simpsons committed to heart, but I can't remember much of anything that I learned in high school. Which I only got out of a year ago.

-- Anonymous, June 17, 1999

My little voice is not benevolent and kind. It's a kind of hybrid of every smartass heroine in all the crime novels I tend to devour like popcorn, and it's not fond of me.

Sometimes it just sits in a corner and sulks and gripes at me. Sometimes when I'm talking to someone I don't like it pipes up with what it thinks I should be saying, but its favourite thing is coming up with all these killer great smartass responses right after it's over, and it's all I can do not to drag the person I don't like back and make them redo the conversation.

Sometimes my little voice sings the Thong Song over and over again, in an attempt to drive me off a cliff. Sometimes it criticizes my writing. Sometimes it wheedles me into spending two hours on Squishy when I should be translating some German text. Sometimes it splits into two little voices and they have a discussion where they refer to me in the third person. Almost constantly, like Merry's voice, it provides a running commentary of everything I do.

But then, sometimes my little voice is a perky cheerleader type shrieking "Fight, fight, with all your might, and go on to a higher height!" and other inspired cheers at the top of its tiny lungs. Sometimes it turns into my favorite radio station and plays all the songs I like. Sometimes it pretends that I'm a famous writer and reads all the rave reviews I'm getting to me. So sometimes my little voice is nice to have around. One thing's for sure: You're never alone when you have a little voice.

-- Anonymous, June 02, 2000