Well, I have seen it before. Right at one year on-line journalists go all wonky, become irregular, change format and then quit. Only to return a few weeks/months later with a watered-down version of its former self. I have seen it before. Deb went away and came back with Hiku (where have we seen that?) That lawyer went away and came back with some lame gardening journal(woo-hoo). Let's just hope the rumors are untrue.

-- Anonymous, June 22, 1999

Answers

Rumors? What rumors? Since when have rumors carried any weight in anyone's life? Jeez, it's just words in a box--not a life and death situation.

Stop feeding off the girl.

-- Anonymous, June 22, 1999

Um Jason, bite me. You try journalling for a year and a half straight and see if it doesn't burn you out. And if you have written for that long and it hasn't made you want to drop your computer off of a ten story building every now and then, the you haven't put as much into your writing as I have.

Oh wait, this isn't about me is it?

Get well soon Pamie!

-- Anonymous, June 23, 1999

Hey, Jason is just expressing his concern that a great journal and writer could be leaving us.....there is nothing wrong with that! I would be nervous too - although I'm not - if I thought Pamie was going to quit writing. She has a talent for it. Yeah, it's hard work, but what isn't?

-- Anonymous, June 23, 1999

You're right. I'm sorry for being too harsh but journallers put so much pressure on themselves as it is and don't need the added fear that if they stop for a week their readers will be gone. That's probably the reason for the "watered-down" versions when they return - putting your all into a journal is tough. After a year journallers seem to want to back off a bit because they're suddenly overwhelmed.

Just be grateful for the glimpse, no matter how big or small, that you get of another's life. I'm sure we all are but sometimes we lose sight of that.

-- Anonymous, June 23, 1999

True, but nobody is twisting your arm and forcing you to keep that journal, are they? I read a few journals and really enjoy them, and I'm contemplating starting one of my own, but one thing I hate is the breed of angst-filled journal writer, constantly complaining about how busy and stressful it is to maintain the journal. If you don't have to do something, and you choose to do it, either do it with good grace or stop doing it. Don't bleat about how difficult it all is.

(This is, incidentally, one reason I so enjoy your writing, Pamie. You do it when it suits you, which is as it should be, and you never make it sound like this is some obligation you're forced to deal with.)

-- Anonymous, June 23, 1999

I agree that a person should only keep a journal if they want to and if starts to become a hassle, they shouldn't do it anymore. I would not want to read a journal that had the message of "I don't want to be doing this, but you like reading it, so I'm doing it." If the journaler has fun with his/her journal, so will I when reading it.

I also agree that when journalers go from updating every day to maybe once a week, people lose interest and the readership will drop. However, this is Pamie's journal we are talking about. If Pamie only wrote once a month, I'd still be reading. Some things are just worth it. I'm sure I'm not the only one who feels this way.

Glad you are feeling better, Pamie. :)

-- Anonymous, June 23, 1999

Maggie - I'm with you sister! I would wait for Pamie - hell I do! If she hasn't posted, I always check back!

Glad you got to get out of the house today Pamie, even if it is only for a little bit.

-- Anonymous, June 23, 1999

Okay, so let me get this straight -- journalers like me and Deb who get sick of keeping a journal and decide to do something else for a while (a "watered down" journal according to Jason, maybe a change of pace according to the journeler herself) get bitched about. Journalers who stick around and grudgingly keep doing something that's driving them nuts get bitched about. Journalers who just quit altogether get bitched about. And then you bitch about journalers who bitch about being bitched about.

Do you see a winning scenario for the weary journaler here? The only way the journaler can make you happy, apparently, is to keep putting out the same level of writing at the same pace, and to keep loving it. If they don't want to do that anymore, they're going to get bitched about somehow, somewhere, correct?

It's great that Pamie (and some others, like Kymm and Diane) love all the attention and seem willing to keep going forever. But, you know, when people want to quit, or move on and do something different, good for them.

Man, do I NOT miss the web.

-- Anonymous, June 24, 1999

You know, I can understand if there was a subscription to an online journaller that people would get mad if there weren't enough entries or the person quit or stopped caring or whatever.

but these pages are people writing about themselves for themselves when they have the time. Because of that, we as readers can wish for more entries, or more time or something that used to be there, but we certainly cannot demand it.

I can bitch and moan all I want, but Seinfeld's not making another episode, and I'm stuck with his syndicated archives. But I was real happy when he was around, and although I'd get all pissy when they showed a re-run midseason, I knew that these people have other things to do, and cannot spend all of their time on this show.

If journallers spent all of their time on their journals, there wouldn't be anything to talk about. That's why the journals that talk about this computer they want or this scanner they may buy drive me crazy. Get away from your computer, come back and share the experiences.

I'm not upset at anyone, and I really like making Squishy, but when I see people get so mad at Kim Rollins, or Beth, or Deb, I think, "What do they owe you?" I don't understand. It's like a friendship, sure, but the person uploading entries is doing much more in the relationship than you can. That's just the nature of the journal.

And it's a journal, it's a diary that they made open. It's like reading chapters of a book.

anyone ever read Misery?

I don't know. I still think that these journals (and I guess I'm talking about other journals more than mine, since I've made Squishy a pretty open place where people can share their emotions and ideas and most journals are about one person sharing their thoughts)-- I guess I'm trying to say that I think that journalling for the most part is a singular activity. Again, not so much with this site, but when you go to the Mighty Kymm you're reading about her and only her and from her point of view. That's all you get. And when she's done (If she's ever done) it'll be a shame that people will still be mad that she quit. Kymm makes little fits when people quit, but she decorates the fits with little exclamation points, so you know she's keeping a light hearted tone. Sometimes it's hard to tell, and it leaves the journaller confused: "I gave you all I had for x number of months and I poured my heart and soul and all you want is more. You don't even seem grateful or thankful or anything. I try something new and you hate it. I can't stay the same."

Can you imagine if Madonna was still rolling on the floor in a wedding gown?

I now am very happy with the image of Beth/Xeney as Madonna.

I'm not even upset or anything on this post. I just start thinking about how someday I probably won't write this thing anymore because of moving or a new job or maybe possibly a career, and I'd hate to think that the minute you make your last entry you're lumped into this "quitters" corner and everything you did was for shit.

And sure, none of it is shit because it's all for me, blah, blah, blah. But really I write quite a bit of this for you. I write for my audience. I write for my friends. I write for Eric, and Eric's family, and my family. I write to remember what happened. But I always think of you guys when I write, and I'd hate to think that when it was all over and I have to say goodbye that you'd think, "Well, she just left me. What a waste."

Enough of my rambling, whatever. I don't talk about this kind of stuff in my journal because I don't think it really has to do with my life. How other people are going to think of me after I don't have a journal? I mean, there's better things to worry about, I know. But when I see someone dog a journal for ending, then I start to wonder what's it all for.

What would be the perfect journal? I don't think it's General Hospital.

-- Anonymous, June 24, 1999

Thank you Pamie and Beth. That's what I meant.

-- Anonymous, June 25, 1999

My website is for me. By that I mean that I'm doing it because I want to do it. I've got things I want to share with people. I'm doing it for my audience in that sense, but I don't owe anything to anybody. I'm paying for my own domain name and space, I'm writing the HTML and the Perl that make it all work, and if I get tired of what's happening there, I'll change it. No apologies.

When I see a journal that I really enjoy disappear, of course it disappoints me, but I don't feel that the journalist owes me a thing. More power to 'em - write as long as you want to write, and if you're getting tired, or bored, or want to stop for some other reason, then stop. Otherwise, the quality is going to drop, and it won't be as good anyway.

Just my two cents.

-- Anonymous, June 25, 1999