Well, I tried to issue this challenge to kick-off my own forum - but then I realized my forum was lame. Sigh. But here's the challenge - I know some of Pamie's readers are going to rock on this.

Recently the Washington Post reported on a contest in which readers were asked to combine the works of two authors and create a suitable blurb.

Some of the winning entries were: _Green Eggs and Hamlet_ (my personal favorite!) "Would you kill him in his bed?/ Thrust a dagger through his head?/ I would not, could not kill the King./ I would not do that evil thing. I would not wed this girl, you see./ Now get her to a nunnery.

_Catch-22 in the Rye_ "Holden learns that if you're insane, you'll probably flunk out of prep school, but if you're flunking out of prep school, you're probably not insane."

Aren't those great? I love it. Not to be outdone, I had to come up with a few of my own. Here is the best of my paltry attempts:

_Gone With the Wind in the Willows_ "Mole and Rat march off to fight The War Between the States, all the while unaware that Scarlett is in love with Mr. Toad and always will be."

Now I am sure some of you can do better. I urge you to file back through your dusty literary memories and come up with some good ones.

-- Anonymous, June 29, 1999

Answers

How about Of Mice And Old Men And The Sea?

"George! Tell me about the Great DiMaggio!"

"Santiago, what have you got in your pocket?"

"... nothing ..."

"Santiago! Another dead baseball player?"

"I was petting him, George, and he wouldn't stop screaming!"

[Of course, everyone remembers how the Old Man kept referring to Joe DiMaggio, right? Okay, I'll stop now.]

-- Anonymous, June 29, 1999

Okay, how about The Autobiography of Benjamin Frankenstein?

[>8| "Penny saved good!"

[>8| "Electricity good!"

[<8o "Stove make fire! Fire bad!"

[>8| "Fire department good!"

-- Anonymous, July 01, 1999

How about, "Their Eyes Were Watching God, It's Me Again, Margaret." Maybe only girls will get this one - "Are you there God, It's Me Again, Margaret," is a Judy Blume classic.

-- Anonymous, July 01, 1999

Henry the Fifth and June: "A whore! A whore! My kingdom for a whore!" The sordid sexual adventures of a fading monarch...

Fountainhead Revisited: Fascist jingoism at a British boy's school.

Invisible Man and Superman An angry young black man must face down the forces of Aryanism.

(I came up with many more of these, but really, isn't that enough?)

-- Anonymous, July 12, 1999

Dorie, your Fountainhead Revisited is fab, but I have a wee correction to make to your Henry the Fifth and June - "a horse, a horse, my kingdom for a horse" is attributed to Richard III. "We few, we happy few" are the words Henry V is best known for, thanks to Big Will Shakespeare.

-- Anonymous, September 08, 1999

Fear and Loathing in Lost World: "We were doomed, and we knew it. Nothing in the world catches the attention of a bloodthirsty Tyrannosaurus Rex so quickly as a Samoan with a head full of mescaline carrying an oversized briefcase."

A Study in Scarlet Letters: "Judging from the cross-shaped indentation on Hester's thigh, Watson, we can deduce that our adulterer is a religious man who's rather fond of foreplay."

-- Anonymous, October 13, 1999

The Little Prince on the Prairie: "Please, Pa, if I do all my chores, will you draw me a sheep?"

The Stranger Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge in a Strange Land: A Civil War soldier fantasizes about shooting his Arab wife before being hung and eaten.

Somebody help me, I can't stop!

-- Anonymous, October 13, 1999