Have you met any online journalists? Did you meet someone that you met in a chat room or that you talked through e-mail?

Were they just what you thought they would be?

Are there parts of people online that you don't get in real life?

-- Anonymous, July 06, 1999

Answers

I've met quite a few people that I knew online first...i find they're usually totally different people. Might say the same things, laugh at the same jokes, and talk about the same subjects...but it's not the same...

I haven't, however, met any online journalists.

They tend not to answer me when I write them. :)

-- Anonymous, July 06, 1999

i've met a fair number of people in real life that i knew online first - and for the most part, it's worked out fine. sometimes the relationships deteriorated after the fact, but i don't think that has anything to do with the online thing. it's just the nature of people. and yes, they've mostly been just what i thought they would be (if for a few physical misconceptions, but mostly minor ones), or even better than i imagined.

my best story is that i trusted this girl in minneapolis to buy me ani difranco tickets for last october, so when i got to school out there we could meet up and hit the concert together. ana and i insta-bonded the minute we met and roadtripped to see tori amos together later in the fall. no uncomfortable anything, though we're bad at correspondence, and we liked each other so much we're going to see tori again in september ...

-- Anonymous, July 06, 1999

Hmmm let's see... Well, I always end up reading journals of people I've already met. For some reason, I find it hard to get excited about journals of people I know I'll never meet. I know that totally goes against the online journal aesthetic, but maybe it's just me. I met Greg (Book of Days) through work and didn't start reading his journal till long after we'd become friends.

And I started reading Squishy after meeting Pamie at karaoke with Chuy and the gang. Greg told me about Squishy and once I started reading it myself, I was hooked. I think it's a little strange to read about someone's life so much and then meet them. I kind of like meeting the person first and then hearing all the depravity (except Pamie -- she's not depraved at all! Well, except for the wooden limbs thing. And her Billy Blanks(tm) fantasies. And her relatives. And her womanly cycle. Man, never mind. She is a little sick, now that I think of it.

Really, though, since many of you guys haven't had the pleasure of meeting her, you have to know she's just as funny in person and if you can imagine an auditory, musical, dancing and singing version of Squishy, you've got Pamie doing "I Will Survive," at the Karaoke Cove. It is a sight (and sound) to behold.

As far as other online folks, I've actually dated people I met online, with very mixed results. But I think it depends on the person. Some people sound exactly like themselves in e-mail (especially writers), others become much more expressive. I think it really depends on the people. I, for instance, wear no pants in public. But you wouldn't know it from reading this, right?

i also wear no bra.

-- Anonymous, July 06, 1999

I've met Xeney and MellieBee, but that was before I ever read their journals. There's several other journallers I'd like to meet though, maybe if JournalCon gets off the ground.

I've met several people from IRC, and they were for the most part, just how they are online. I think I've been able to pick out the real people from the phonies, and in the process made some good friends. I have found that people are a little shyer in person tho

-- Anonymous, July 06, 1999

I've met several DFW-area journalers, and most of them were a lot like I expected. I think we need to have a Texas-area gathering soon as well.

Probably 75% of my friends are net-related, some of whom I haven't even met yet. What they're like in person tends to depend on how descriptive (and honest) they were beforehand.

I think it's easier with people who write journals, you don't get the whole person but you get more than you might get from people you know casually from other places like newsgroups, mailing lists, IRC, etc.

I think some people do give more online than they do in real life - I know I do, there are things I'll say in my journal or on the notify list or in private correspondence that are more revealing than what I normally tell my RL friends, but then again almost all my closest friends are online people.

-- Anonymous, July 06, 1999

I've met one (rather prominent and rather private/anonymous) online journaler in real life. It went from email, to icq messages, to marathon icq chat sessions to marathon phone calls. He's at my house right now, prolly offering to take the dog for walkies.

That's his word, walkies.

I guess it's different, a bit, because we both write online. Tho he's better known. We'd also, along the way, learned one another's various voices. Writing and otherwise. RIght now, he's freaking out because he says that my sister and I have the same voice and speech mannerisms. She's visiting. Everytime he gets bewildered, he stares at us. We stare back.

He's my first experience in moving from a strictly online friendship to meeting in person. (There have been people whom I've met in real life and then fleshed out some exchanges via email. And I maintain several friendships via email.) He's exactly the person I expected, only more so and better.

We're trying to be careful of one another's privacy and still write our public stuff. It's really hard, but not hard after all.

Damnit, I'm gushing.

-- Anonymous, July 06, 1999

The freaky thing about finally meeting e-friends in person is that on the one hand, you know them really, really well, like better than a lot of your real-life friends. You've exchanged probing email, chatted each other up, jesus even read each other's diaries. But on the other hand, you're encountering this person's physical self for the very first time. You're getting to know their funny mannerisms, their lisps, ticks, and other talents. And that's what's so weird: The way you usually get accustomed to a new person is by exchanging nice, safe, basic Q and A: What music do you like? Where did you go to school? Are you of urban or suburban decent?

But when you meet your e-pal for the first time, you've already exchanged all the get-to-know-you chit chat. You're at the "so, is the penicillin working for you?" stage. And that's what's so strange. You're discussing really intimate things with someone who it *feels* like you've just met.

The key is to find a way to merge that stranger persona with the confidante persona. And they way to do that is to meet over drinks. Lots of drinks. You may have already noticed that drink can make perfect strangers seem like your oldest and wisest friends. Well booze does the exact same thing with e-acquaintances.

-- Anonymous, July 06, 1999

i'm not really down wit the whole journaling 'scene,' y0, but i have met people in person that i originally met on the 'net. it's a way fun thing to do, make people real.

i made a group of friends a state south of me and we occasionally meet up for concerts and such. it always feels like more fun to go in a big group than a little one. another guy i met on the east coast and i finally met in person last summer to see the smashing pumpkins in boston. i was so incredibly nervous, but so was he, and it was actually a lot of fun.

i think people tend to be a lot like their online personas - that's why i keep talking to them in the first place, they're 'real' - but sometimes are more difficult to talk to, or, y'know, just the usual human idiosyncrasies that make life generally weird.

i always try to make my text express how i would actually *say* what i'm typing.. some people i know do the same thing, and they're quite vivid in real life. :)

anyway. i've babbled long enough. oh, pamie, weird, i saw summer of sam with my s.o. on sunday, too.. heh.

-- Anonymous, July 06, 1999

I've met a goodly number of online journallers, but I think that Kymm has met the most.

(Gee, I wish I could put links in here! I'd link to the entries!)

I met Wally Glenn after knowing him online. http://www.gwally.com is his site -- Planet Wally. We are good buddies now.

When Rob Hudson and his then-fiancee Julie came to Seattle in June of 98, we got together a few times, along with Julie of Cerebrations, Kim Rollins, and Karawynn (but I knew her through sf fannish connections).

I've met Bluejack of http://www.bluejack.com before he moved to Seattle, and since.

I'm good friends now with Vicki Jean Beaumont ( http://alt.portland.or.us/notes.shtml ) whom I first met in November of 97. My friend Luke ( http://w.oo.net/luko/journal/trickall.html ) turned me on to her stuff.

whew! and that's not all of them. I just feel that if I know them through their writing, and it's convenient to meet, why not do so?

Anita of Anita's Book of Days http://www.halcyon.com/anitar/journal/

-- Anonymous, July 06, 1999

Oh, JournalCon _will_ get off the ground, Bellatrix, even if I have to hoist it up by the testicles (or ovaries, depending on how you personify your eclectic gatherings)... *grin*

And Pamie, it's not too late to get this hoarde of maniacs to come to Austin. Heh. Heh. Heh.

JournalCon 2000 -- http://www.journalcon.com

-- Anonymous, July 07, 1999

Hey, Bellatrix, who are you exactly? And when/where did we meet?

-- Anonymous, July 07, 1999

I feel like I'm not really allowed to meet on-line journalers because I'm not one myself. I feel like it would be one-sided, like meeting someone famous where you just go, "Um, I really like your journal" and that's it because what would they know about me? (Except, in Pamie's case, that I once had a dream about her.)

Some people's journals make me think we'd be friends if we met, but then who's to say? I think I'd get along with Dar Williams, too, but I doubt she'd be able to make time in her busy schedule to hang out with me! It's that kind of thing.

And, incidentally, it's kind of cool to see that evany is lurking around because I read all the way through her site and loved it, especially the entry about the Rock Lobster fiasco.

-- Anonymous, July 07, 1999

I've met dozens of people from my time in CompuServe forums over the years, plus a few I met in web forums first, but no OL journallers yet.

I don't go out of my way to meet people from on-line, so most of the folks I've met from forums were either coming to SF on vacation or for a conference or something like that, or they live in the Bay Area and were in town and wanted to meet me.

I don't travel to meet people from the web, in other words, except I met a couple of people in Germany who I'd known on CSi - but I didn't go to Germany specifically to meet them... well, one of them, I sort of did go out of my way to meet while I happened to be in Germany, because... well, never mind, and it turned out to be a disaster anyway, later on, but we're still friends after five+ years of email and a few days face to face a long time ago, so go figure. :)

Anyway, people I've met from online usually turn out to be pretty much like I expect them to be in person. No big surprises yet that way.

Judy http://www.judywatt.com

-- Anonymous, July 07, 1999

Up until this week, I hadn't actually -met- any. I was supposed to get together with Lucy, VJ, and Anita, but we missed each other by minutes in Portland one day.

This week's schedule (no kidding): Sunday: Mirla from "mirmaid fathoms deep". Wednesday: Renee from "perplexity and redemption". Friday : Georgina from "just a girl". Saturday : Ray from "The Amazing Journey".

And then there's this whole southern california journal gathering thing that I'm still trying to plan out. I...must...meet...more.... It's like a compulsion now. :)

(Incidentally, I met my almost-ex-husband aka "ratbastard" in a chat room, which should have been an indication of my insanity at the time.)

Were they what I thought they'd be? Mirla, yes. She's kind of cerebral and fun -- the kind of person you want to have coffee and talk to for -hours-. Renee? We bonded. I've got a new best friend for life now. The other two, I don't know yet.

To answer the question, though, yes. I think there -are- parts of people you don't get online. You don't get the mannerisms and the energy. You don't see the full person sometimes. And it's amazing what an actual -voice- can do.

~E~

-- Anonymous, July 16, 1999