Remember when Kramer was so upset because 2.8 financing on a new Chevy was his idea so he went out and made Kramerica Industries?

Do you sometimes come up with some idea only to see it surface a few weeks later and make tons of money?

-- Anonymous, July 07, 1999

Answers

i have an idea, its the best idea ever, and its gonna make me filthy rich, that is unless always patents it first, but im telling you, all you ladies out there, youre going to love me, its a great great great idea, its mostly mine, but im gonna share the idea and riches and stuff with my friend cuz she's helping me finalize the idea, but man oh man is it good, but i cant tell you, you see, cuz if i did then i wouldnt get rich, im sure you understand, but as soon as i get that patent and i sell the idea to always, then ill tell ya, and you are all going to be soo soo sooo happy, well, most of you, okay, so, sorry to all the guys out there, but come on, its a great idea!

-- Anonymous, July 07, 1999

Katie - don't tease us!!!!

-- Anonymous, July 07, 1999

I've had many great ideas over the years that I thought I could make a million bucks off of (or at least a couple hunnert), but never any clue of where to go to get them realized.

I had a pretty good one once. My husband and I love funny bumperstickers, but I'm kind of fickle about that sort of thing. One day I might like to let the world know I'm a "Bitch Goddess," another I might want to take a stance on abortion, the next I might choose to say that "My other car is a broom"; maybe I'd also like to warn people that "I brake for no reason" or that I think "People Suck." I thought it would be grand to have a way to be able to change your bumperstickers with your mood. We schemed up many different ways to do this, involving such things plastic sleeves on the inside of your rear windshield... But the best idea we thought of was MAGNETIC bumperstickers. I thought that was bloody brilliant. But a little voice inside me said, "But wouldn't people just rip them off?" So even though I thought it was a great, marketable idea, I never tried to get it produced. (Not that I would've known where to turn, like I said.)

Next thing ya know, it's a couple of years later, and those darn Magnetic Poetry People (you know, those little magnetic words you arrange into poetry on your fridge?) have come up with a very similar idea! Theirs are individual words, I think, but it's still the same basic principle. Oh, well, at least somebody did it, even if it wasn't me.

-- Anonymous, July 07, 1999

I have a really, really good idea, and I think we should all pool our money and resources and make it so. (And if you steal this idea, this post will prove that I had the idea first, so THERE!) OK, you ready?

Fortunes in tampons!

You know how using a tampon is a much dreaded event (like depositing checks or getting gas)? You know how you put it off to the last possible second? Well just think: if you had something to look forward to, some witty, pithy comment or prediction ("expect an obscene phone call today" or something punny, like "Tonight you must lay down the law w/ someone close to you. Tell him/her, 'that's it, period!'"), well you'd be changing your tampon like every half hour! Just think of the blow to toxic shock syndrome! Let alone the skyrocketing sales. Another thought: we could have messages tailored to the tampon size: super size ("your mate will be particularly grumplestiltskinny today. Just go with the flow.") or slender ("Activity will be spotty today, so grab a good magazine to get you through.").

I'd like to use natural, unbleached tampons (because really, those are better for you), but those are a little more expensive. Plus, I'd like to do my own packaging (v. just giving my idea to, say, platex or OB). Thus I need some capitol up front to get it going. And, while I know next to nothing about money stuff, I think I need at least $10,000 to get it started, right? More? What should my "business model" be? Advice, please.

So, who's in? I also need fortune writers...Pamie?

-- Anonymous, July 07, 1999

You know I'm all about the tampon haiku:

You sit in your stall.
It's chilly, dirty and damp.
Go back to work, bitch.

What do you think?

-- Anonymous, July 07, 1999

Re: Pamie's haiku

I especially like this when you read "bitch" as a verb versus a noun. Keep 'em coming, giddyup, and pour on the juice ... our retirement is riding on this.

Heart,

-- Anonymous, July 07, 1999

i know, im a horrible tease, so if any of you tell sharon i told, ill kill ya, okay, how's this? padding in the wings!! its fucking genius, i mean, we all know how super icky it is when it gets on your thighs right? okay, put padding in and then dammit! problem eliminated! good god, i cant keep a secret, god! but i like the idea about putting witty comments with em, you could do it for pads too, maybe we should all get together and be fucking millionaires?

-- Anonymous, July 07, 1999

evany, I love your idea! Wish I'd thought of it! I was a theatre major, though, never took a business class, so don't even know what a "business model" is. Sorry can't help ya there. But -- I want in! Where do I send my $10,000 check? ;)

-- Anonymous, July 07, 1999

This may sound flakey, and new-agey, but there's an English biologist named Rupert Sheldrake who is doing experiments to affirm his theory that it's easier to learn something today that somebody else learned yesterday. That you could have been marooned on an island, you could have performed the American Pie spoof, and simply because your group performed it somewhere, Weird Al was more likely to compose the song independently.

His theory originated from zoological observation of blue titmice before and after WWII. Blue titmice in England had learned to break the foil seal on door-to-door milk deliveries to steal the cream on top. Even though blue titmice have never been known to migrate more than 5 miles from where they live their entire lives, the practice had spread to the birds all throughout the European continent in 20 years.

Milk delivery had stopped during the years of WWII, long past the lifespan of the birds. Even though no living birds had practiced this way of feeding when milk deliveries resumed after WWII, within 5 years the birds relearned to steal the cream throughout the European continent.

Sheldrake performs experiments to affirm his theory with, for example, published crossword puzzles. On Day 1, one of his crossword puzzles will be published in Town A. On Day 2, a control puzzle designed to be of equal difficulty will be published in Town A. A town chosen because it is considered to be of an equal educational demographic, Town B, will received the original published puzzle.

Performing this experiment, Sheldrake found a pattern of people in Town B performing the first puzzle with 20% greater accuracy than Town A completed the control puzzle.

Sheldrake says that the reason people are able to do the puzzles with these results is because there's no reason to believe that consciousness is stored in the brain, like a computer. He says the pattern of his experiments leads him to believe human consciousness is located outside of the body, like a radio receives radiowaves, although he may have used a better analogy than I remember. This idea reinforces Jung's idea of a collective unconscious.

Although it's unlikely you'll never make enough money to sue everyyone who uses ideas you came up with first, there are steps you can take to protect yourself from accusations of theft yourself.

If you mail yourself copies of your script, and keep the sealed envelopes, the postal stamp will date your material. In a court of law, this won't beat an actual filed copyright, dated before your postal date, but no such copyright will exist if you are the first author of the work. In a similar situation, studio documents were used to clear Andrew Nicols of a lawsuit claiming he had stolen the idea for the Truman Show from a play performed in New York in the early 1990s. Studio papers confirmed that he had submitted the idea in the late 1980s.

-- Anonymous, July 07, 1999

I can't resist commenting on this one because it is something I think about all the time.

I'm afraid that in this day and age it has pretty much all been done before. There is always somebody better. So go home, turn out the lights and get into bed and pull the covers up over your head!

It is sad to say that our modern and delightful culture thrives on imitation, not innovation. Why else would music from the 70's be more popular than it was in the 70's?!? Why else does everything on TV and the movies seems like a rehash of a original work that was much better? Why does our society put down people that have a single original thought in their mind? In anyone else bugged by a culture that gets more and more dull and brain dead with each passing day? Maybe it is good in a sense because we're all recycling! As they say good artists borrow, great artists steal. Is it possible in our interconnected world to even have an original thought?

I hope the next ten years aren't as dull as the last ten. Than again, maybe I'm just in a pissy mood today! Ranting is fun!

-- Anonymous, July 07, 1999

This one doesn't involve making money, but the other day I was thinking about the new VW Beetle, and how it has a bud vase. And then I was thinking about how Rob, of Kalamazoo Days has a new beetle, but when he put a rose in the vase it of course wilted in the hot car interior. Then I was thinking that if I had a Beetle, I'd get a yellow one, and put a silk sunflower in the vase, because it wouldn't wilt, and how cute would that be? As I was driving home from work, The Very Same Day, I passed a new yellow Beetle, and right next to the steering wheel a bright yellow sunflower was poking up it's head. What a copycat.

-- Anonymous, July 07, 1999

When my eldest child, Adam, was a toddler we would go for walks together. Part of our usual route was up a steep hill and a meadow. He would pick up interesting rocks and pebbles and give them to me to put in my pockets to carry. When I would empty my pockets at home I often joked about them being Adam's pet rocks. A few months later the Pet Rock fad hit. For those of you for whom this was before your time... The Pet Rock fad began this way... During a happy hour discussion after work the conversation turned to pets and how much work they entailed. One guy began to joke about what was needed was a maintenance free pet, like a pet rock. The next morning he thought about that and decided to market a pet rock. The Pet Rock sold for about four bucks retail (this was circa 1971)... consisted of a box with a small rock in it... smaller than a computer mouse... and a joke filled book about training your Pet Rock... like you can teach your Pet Rock to roll over, just get a board, lean it at a steep angle, put your Pet Rock at the top and say "Roll over!"... or to be a guard rock to protect you... if a mugger comes at you just take your Pet Rock and throw it at the mugger while yelling "Attack!".... you get the idea... He sold more than four million Pet Rocks... and then there were imitators... and ancillary products... somebody sold wigs for Pet Rocks (so your Pet Rock wouldn't be bald)... And all I could think of was how many times I had joked about Adam's pet rocks and never took that idea to the next level.

-- Anonymous, July 08, 1999

i invented velcro when i was 4 and got a bunch of burdocks (little sticky plant thing)stuck to my shoes... kept my laces tied.. forever.

i've also got a great idea for a toy... you know nerf stuff? ever see those nerf guns that shoot little nerf bullets?? well, my gun would be very similar.... but instead of shooting nerf bullets it would shoot marshmallow's! marshmallows are dirt cheap, and oh so much more fun than those nerf things...cause you can eat em! i'll make millions...

-- Anonymous, July 08, 1999

Oh, they're always stealing from my brain! A few years ago I had the idea that it would be cool if you combined sunscreen and bug repellant, and of course it happened not long after. In college I invented the bong holster (to store your lighter so you wouldn't have to balance it on top when passing the bong). I even went so far as to create a prototype. They stole that, too! I'm just waiting for Columbo to show up in the Scooby Doo movie that's coming out, maybe with bugs on a stick. (that last bit's for Pamie, so don't worry yourselves trying to figure it out)

-- Anonymous, July 08, 1999

Okay, I'm giving up my rights to this one in the hopes someone somewhere will make it:

It's a bumpersticker that says in big, loopy, church-y letters:

"JESUS CHRIST"

and then beneath that, in a much smaller font:

"stop tailgating me"

-- Anonymous, July 08, 1999

Fortunes in tampons? Genius!

I would like to see TVs in the tube. This would make life slightly less horrible when stuck in a tunnel, crammed against a thousand strangers.

-- Anonymous, July 09, 1999

My tampon haiku:

You need some chocolate And perhaps a nice massage. Take today off work.

-- Anonymous, July 09, 1999

No, but somebody beats me for my ideas.

-- Anonymous, July 10, 1999