Come on, don't leave me alone in my stupidity. What dumb things have you done lately?

Make something up if you have to. Please.

-- Anonymous, September 15, 1999

Answers

Oh, Beth, I just about died reading that. People were walking by my office, peeking in at me sputtering.

Um, lessee. I'm in the unfortunate position of subbing at a Help Desk lately. (I really don't enjoy the work; I'm told not to think, basically.) WE wear headsets, with clips to pick up the excess cord. I regularly drag the phone off my desk. The other day, I dragged this phone, (which, by the way, hurts when it hits your foot) a glass of ice water, and a cup of stale coffee off the desk. I looked positively charming for the rest of the day.

-- Anonymous, September 15, 1999

I stupidly left my lunch on the counter in the counter surfing reach of one of my Happy Dogs. He had a great breakfast and I had a miserable lunch

Colleen

-- Anonymous, September 15, 1999

beth, i could NOT stop laughing when i read that entry. I don't think I'll be getting a dog any time soon?

Stupid thing I did? Made a lunge for the phone across the room, forgetting the computer was still jacked in to the line. BAM.

-- Anonymous, September 15, 1999

Oh, brother. A shorter list is what I HAVEN'T done that's dumb lately.

Well....left the deoderant out where Eric can find it. Eric will dig his fingers into the deoderant, and take out all the good-smelling stuff, dumping it into the trash.

No, we have no idea why. But we should have known better.

--Al

-- Anonymous, September 15, 1999

let's see.. I have continually told myself to go to bed before 2am and then I won't hate getting up for 10am classes.. but I still find something to do or watch until at least 1am. what else? I died my hair, supposedly red. A color called "flame", wouldn't any reasonable person think red? My hair is now orange. It's kinda cute, but my towels are orange, my pillowcases are orange, and I'm running out of dark tee-shirts to wear to prevent the collars from becoming orange. Anything else dumb? Nah, but I'm sure I'll do something stupid between now and the next time I post.

-- Anonymous, September 15, 1999

Well, I felt SO proud of myself for packing up EIGHT boxes yesterday. EIGHT boxes. Until I was cleaning up all the mess left over (papers, pens, tape and such) and I looked down at the floor to find exactly TWO pieces of newspaper left.

"Two? No. There was more than that."

I look around all the boxes, on the counters, under the table, in the sink, everywhere around the kitchen where I was packing. I can NOT find the other newspapers which I have a feeling were left.

I must have packed them away in a box. I'm a RE-tard. Retarded.

Of course, this is just a possibility and not QUITE a probability yet, as I don't REALLY remember how much paper I had left. Those two pieces MAY be all that there was (it was 1:30AM when I was done), I guess we'll find out in a coupla weeks.

-- Anonymous, September 15, 1999

I woke up yesterday morning to my husband's alarm clock. Hoping to sleep for just a few more minutes, I ended up spending five minutes poking and slamming every button an the damn thing trying to get it to SHUT THE FUCK UP! I finally realized that it wasn't the alarm clock going off. My husband had set the kitchen timer to go off and had placed it on THE OTHER SIDE OF THE BED.

No, of course he didn't do it on purpose. He just... Wait a minute.... Why, that sneaky....

Sorry. Gotta go kill somebody.

Bye. Gotta go.

-- Anonymous, September 15, 1999

I locked myself out of my car last week, for the first time in my life. All those years of feeling smug about never having locked myself out of a car - gone.

I walked home. It was 4 miles and I actually felt good afterwards, enough so that I walked home later in the week when I didn't have to.

-- Anonymous, September 15, 1999

Umm.... nothing comes radily to mind, which is surprising, for I do many, many stupid things.

I shall focus, Beth, and try to have done at least one astoundingly stupid thing by late afternoon.

-- Anonymous, September 15, 1999

I moved back in with my parents.

Next to that, everything else I've done looks positively brilliant. Including running into walls, putting a cat with icky paws on my shoulder, and signing up for classes with a 15 minutes passing break, that are a 20-minute drive apart.

-- Anonymous, September 15, 1999

Most recent stupid thing...

1. I'm pregnant, diabetic and over 35.(I already have one, so I don't know if this is stupid or just insane) 2. I like candles that smell and incense. My latest scent has been kind of apple-cinnamony and well, it made it really hard to tell if the flower-scented flea bombs we resorted to were aired out of the apartment. 3. I let my future mother-in-law bring her dog to our house -- I should say, her ill-kempt dog-- who shed in large appalling tufts all over the house as it tried to scratch at large flea colonies, who then migrated to the carpet and then bit the shit out of my ankles because apparently pregnant women taste good and little and big boys alike are made of snails and NOT puppy dog tails and everyone knows that snails taste yucky.(And don't gimme that escargot nonsense.)

-- Anonymous, September 15, 1999

After getting my car serviced, I got into what I thought was my car (same make, model, color) and after a few moments I realized I was not in my car. I accidentally grabbed the keys out of the ignition. I found my car and went about my day. They had to call in a locksmith to cut the guy a new key and reprogram his alarm!!

I also took the little canister thing from the bank drive thru. I was about hald way home before I realized it.

-- Anonymous, September 19, 1999

most stupid thing? I read your diary.

-- Anonymous, March 21, 2000

Nice to meet you, too, David.

-- Anonymous, March 21, 2000

Racked up a truly astounding amount of debt on credit cards making it difficult to pay for stuff, even though we make plenty of money to have a nice comfy lifestyle.

Dumb dumb dumb dumb.

Dad to the rescue. Again. *sigh*

-- Anonymous, March 21, 2000

I decided to wear flip flops to class today even though there is a steady drizzle outside. The buses were running late. So, I had to walk to the university in these slippery shoes. Inside every building that I used as a shortcut through the weather, I would slip and bust my rear. In the history building, which is full of my friends and classmates, I slid around like I was figure skating until I slammed firmly into a wall and dropped my Coke.

-- Anonymous, March 21, 2000

Most stupid thing: This weekend, I got all motivated to run the dishwasher. Got it loaded up, put the soap in, turned it on. I noticed it was running much more quietly than usual, but figured that was probably a good thing. When the cycle was finished, I opened it up, looked inside, and... what the hell? The soap was still there and the dishes were still dirty. I know it ran! What happened??

Uh, gee, genius, maybe next time you want to hook up the WATER?

Second most stupid thing: Read Dave's response to this forum.

-- Anonymous, March 21, 2000

I went out on Tuesday night and ended up playing strip poker and then sleeping with one of my mates. He totally regrets it and I feel soooo horrible about it.

-- Anonymous, July 06, 2001

I, being homosexual. Was going to make a pass at my boss Ian. I know he's really fat and all but I still get an erection when seeing him. I thought he was homsexualy aswell but when I hired a large cake to jump out of naked at his home. I didn't realise that he was married with three young girls. I broke into his home with the cake when he wasn't there. Then I hid in the cake naked and waited hours until I heard the door open. I jumped out to find three girls 4 to 8 year old girls looking at my butt naked body. I was fired the next day and went to jail where I fell in love with bubba.

-- Anonymous, July 09, 2001