ok, wonderful group that you are, I am in a fairly new relationship - under 6 mos- what do I buy him for Christmas?? He is so agreeable it's irritating and he won't tell me what he wants. He usually buys whatever he wants, so what do you buy for someone who has everything?

-- Anonymous, November 22, 1999

Answers

That has always been a tough question in the beginning stages of a relationship. One safe thing with guys is usually electronics, so you could go with a gift certificate to a local gadget store. Of course, gift certs always feel so impersonal, and practically scream, "Hi, I had no idea what to get you, and cash seemed too cold, so here's the warmed up version", so you might not want to do that either.

What about tickets to a sporting event or concert you know he is interested in? And then maybe give him a stocking with some little fun things in it. You know those small bottles of liquor you can get on airplanes? Some liquor stores sell those, you could get a couple of his favorite for the stocking.

-- Anonymous, November 22, 1999

Simple answer... buy him something that he wouldn't buy for himself.

Don't buy him something similar to that which he buys himself. If he buys audio or computer equipment, buy him a book (not about computers or stereo). If he buys books, buy him a weekend out of town (for two, of course). He'll probably appreciate any gift that you buy for him, but it could be awkward if its something like "almost-but-not-quite"...

-- Anonymous, November 22, 1999

I give books about 99% of the time -- it's a very personal present, but not creepily personal. If he's not a big reader, how about clothes? I buy more clothes for my guy than he does for himself. And I get to pick things that I want to see him in!

-- Anonymous, November 22, 1999

That I didn't think of. Clothes.....he's a damn good dresser and I guess I could throw in my expertise.....plus I like the whole don't buy him something he would buy himself.

thanks for your suggestions guys!! I really appreciate it.

-- Anonymous, November 23, 1999

Do they have any of those brew-your-own-beer-on-premises places nearby? If he's not already a homebrewer, a batch of personal beer can be way cool. Danger, will robinson: homebrewing can be expensive, time consuming, and space-wasting. Not recommended for the faint of heart, short of pocket-book, or small of apartment.

How about a dozen lottery tickets? Poseable action figures that look like you & him? Travel guides to local places? Sound-track CD's for movies he loves?

-- Anonymous, November 23, 1999

This always works for me: a bottle of Perrier-Jouet champagne, and two crystal glasses. Makes him think you think he is James Bond, and you get to share the bottle, so everyone wins.

-- Anonymous, November 23, 1999

Being a guy and all, I think I can suggest something...cool hand tools. Go to the Sharper Image or Brookstone and get him something funky, metal, and somewhat useful, like the socket wrench that is assembled on something like a tank tread so it doesn't come apart...it's so cool I can't even completely describe it...or get him a leatherman or a multi-plier (the SOG tool is also cool...someone tell my wife, please? -- about the socket wrench..I already have the multi-plier)

Also, never underestimate the power of a good tiny camera. Someone else mentioned James Bond? Well, let me tell you...a man with a tiny camera is at one with his fantasy about being an international spy...and he might just be able to garner some important intelligence photos about the cows down the road...

Those are the best things on MY wish list, anyway.

-- Anonymous, November 30, 1999

My husband is just like that -- he buys everything he wants for himself, but he's also extremely fussy about gifts, and if he doesn't get EXACTLY what he wants, he gets diappointed. The solution? Everyone (me included) gives him money or gift certificates. That way we don't have to drive ourselves mad trying to shop for him, and he can get exactly what he wants.

-- Anonymous, December 03, 1999