Do you get a certain amount of anxiety during the holidays? I know that I start feeling like I'm forgetting something from right before Thanksgiving until after the new year.

What gets you nervous? The travel? The food? The gifts?

-- Anonymous, December 13, 1999

Answers

This year my holiday phobia is my mother is meeting my boyfriend's parents for the first time.

My mother = Woman that you cannot shock. "Mom, I had sex for the first time." The traditional mother would burst into tears, but No. My Mother responds with "So how was it." Ack!!

His mother = Purity. Total Purity. "My boy is still a virgin. He is never going to have sex because his children will be conceived immaculately." (Sp?)

Therefore, Christmas morning will be something like: (My Mom) "OH look... here's the bedroom and the bed where they 'do it'" (His mom, after coming to from her slight fainting spell) "Oh not my son.. he's still a virgin."

-- Anonymous, December 13, 1999

O.K. this is coming from a total neurotic, but the holidays are causing me stress because of my new boyfriend. We are only two months old in the relationship and the terror of the whole family nightmare is just overwhelming. Here's the scenerio- If he comes to New York with me for Christmas there will be no presents for him, because my family hardly knows him. He might receive strange looks, because it is not my ex-husband, and even though I hate him, my family doesn't. So there will be a lack of presents, weird looks, and general discomfort. If I go with him for Christmas, there will be the awkward exchange of no presents again, and he will also fully believe that I have no life of my own, and why couldn't I just go to my family for the holidays? There is only one response that i have for all of this- a frequent response of Pamie's -- Ih.

-- Anonymous, December 13, 1999

My holiday phobia is not that I won't get everything done, because that is just not an option, but that I will kill my husband in the process. This is not to say that he has done anything horrible to inspire my feelings of rage and anger, he is just a boy who doesn't get freaked out about gift lists, and deadlines, and thank you cards (which are still not done from my wedding 6 weeks ago), and the demands of holiday socializing. But when he is lying there, sleeping peacefully, and I am developing a back pain that almost rivals the burning in my abdomen....you know. Thanks for the vent!

-- Anonymous, December 13, 1999

This is my first Christmas away from home, so I guess my holiday phobia is depression. Mind you, I don't usually get depressed, but my Mom called me a few days ago so that my six-year-old cousin could tell me that they were baking cookies and she put all the red noses on the reindeer cookies. I got my batch in the mail today and saw all those reindeer cookies and all I wanted to do is quit my job and go back home.

-- Anonymous, December 13, 1999

What makes me nervous this time of year?

Relatives. Lots 'n lots of relatives.

Ugh.

-- Anonymous, December 14, 1999

One word:

Fruitcake.

That, and getting gifts for impossible relatives. My sister-in-law actually giggled when she unwrapped her nice cotton tights last year.

"Oh...hee hee hee!" As in, "This is such a terrible present, all I can do is laugh!"

No, I haven't bought her gift yet...

-- Anonymous, December 14, 1999

I don't get nervous about the holidays anymore, so here's a little advice:

Maggi- read the "Favorite Christmas Times" post, I give advice on those not going home.

Nancey- if you've only been dating this guy for two months, and I cannot stress this enough, no one should be traveling to the other's parents' house for Christmas. I know it's at that stage of the relationship where you can't get enough of each other, but a trip like this could be more than enough. You go to your parents and let him go to his. That way you can both tell your respective families how wonderful the other person is and they'll be more used to the idea when the next holidays roll around. Of course the relationship may not last that long- bad thoughts, I know- but if it doesn't it's alot easier to explain to family that you broke up with someone they never met. Besides, just think of the great sex you'll have when you get back!

-- Anonymous, December 17, 1999