Post Viet Nam Stress Syndrome and My Neighbor Ray

When Ray moved into the neighborhood, we all heard rumors of how he was suffering from Post Viet Nam Stress Syndrome (PVSS). Various idiomatic definitions of PVSS echoed throughout the community and included such words as crazy, insane, nuts, mental, loony, and dangerous. This provoked a level of fear, prejudice and trepidation targeted toward Ray, and by association to all of us Viet Nam Vets. We also heard that he packed heat and that he would become irrational and slink around in the woods wearing camouflage.

Knowing that reality never really mirrors rumor, I forced myself to visit this so-called PVSS lunatic, and I found a man that was open, honest and understood himself and his innermost fears better than most. He did, however, exhibit a certain level of peculiarity as a human being. This uniqueness (or diversity) is what stimulated public reaction or prejudice.

For the research or investigation process for this paper, I conducted 10 hours worth of personal and phone interviews with Ray. The interview format was free flowing and without structure. Additional research on PVSS was conducted via the Web.

I would like to begin to tell Rays story by quoting portions of a piece I found on the Web which was written by Louis Beam entitled Forget? Hell No! Much of Rays basic philosophy on the war and its personal and public consequences are captured by Mr. Beams description:

Even after all this time there seems to be no way we can forget or let Vietnam descend into the past. I for one can not, nor would I---even if it were possible. Why should we?

When we came home they threw blood in our faces, and feces on our caskets. No excuses now will change that. It could have been prevented. But there was no desire to prevent it. It was allowed, encouraged, and even promoted by the very people who sent us over there.

Now they think they can bury some poor soul in Arlington National Cemetery, and at the same time bury the guilt along with their conscience. Never! They can erect all the black marble slabs they want, have all of the fifteen year late parades they care to, but it will change nothing. Nothing at all. There is no relief, and can be none. We are forever trapped in the rice paddies and skies of Vietnam. We can neither go back or go forward, but suspended for eternity in the place that they put us.

Years later, I discover that I, along with thousands of other soldiers, have been poisoned by the chemical defoliant "Agent Orange." The doctors at the V.A. hospital where "screening" is conducted (government gibberish for "your OK son, don't worry about a thing) wants to know if I have trouble sleeping at night. Is he joking? I haven't been to sleep in fifteen years. Post Viet Nam Stress Syndrome. Otherwise know as PVSS. Sounds like the name of a boat. If it is they should rename it the Titanic.

There seems to be no end to it all. I wonder if stress can be defined as wanting to machine gun all the people who sent us over there, along with the one's who spit on us when we returned. Or, is perhaps stress something more simple like crying out for justice in the name of the mangled dead, and not being heard? Or is stress more of a mathematical function, like trying to figure out how much blood 57,673 bodies can hold? Let's see: three gallons to the body, times fifty-seven thousand six-hundred and seventy-three equals...

It is not the death and destruction that makes one unsettled inside. It's the death and destruction for no reason. If these political whores who rule in Washington, think that by laying some mother's son to rest in Arlington, while mouthing a few empty words, that everything will be forgiven---or forgotten. Forget? Not even if I could.

Rays unique nature and demeanor can probably be best understood, by relating a story he told me of when he returned to Minnesota after receiving his medical discharge from the army in 1988.. He arrived back home and immediately purchased a small hobby farm so he could have a quiet place to heal his broken mind and spirit. He thought that by caring for something living, like farm animals, he could once again get in touch with, and feel the compassion for life. Maybe it would diminish the nightmares, quell the fear of darkness, and end the mistrust of people and the requirement of being on guard duty 24 hours a day.

On Sunday August 6, 1988, Rays day had been like most other recent days. Struggling but managing to get by. As the evening light began to whisk away from the western sky, Ray started his evening chores by herding his small flock of sheep toward the barn to prevent the local dogs and coyotes from hurting his dependent friends.

The booming thunderous explosions and flashes of light imploded Rays mind, and a nightmare became reality. He had to hide He had to make it go away! He couldnt recognize the gentle peaceful hills, trees and valleys of his farm. His house and farm buildings surely were enemy bunkers! Sweat flushed from his pores as he searched for cover as the explosions continued relentlessly. Finally, finding a piece of canvas from an old grain swather, Ray encased his body in the tarp and slipped into a small ditch. He could hear the booming roar but could not see the flashes, and now he knew that he was hidden. Morning, day and night came and went, and Ray remained encased in his tarpaulin cocoon. Finally after the second night, with the morning beckoning, Ray emerged from his hibernation hell and his doubtful focus returned to reality. Ray did not recognize that the origin of this Fire-Fight was not the Viet Cong, but rather the concluding fireworks at the Country Western Music Festival some two miles away. Only later he was able to piece together his delusions with reality.

Ray related this story to me with a certain honest thats the way it is attitude. He considers himself a survivor and victorious if he can figure out a mechanism to cope with his PVSS fears and struggles. Is any of this much different than how any of us approach our fears? We all figure out some kind of system to understand or subdue the potential horrors that could plague or threaten our existence.

Ray described his fear of darkness, or rather as he explains, his fear of the things that darkness hides. I have been with Ray on a number of occasions as evening is replaced by darkness, and have noticed his heightened level of anxiety. Rays response to my question about his fear of darkness, indicated a distorted insight that very few people even stop to reflect upon. Ray insists that all these hideous evils exist at all times, day or night, but that light neutralizes evil, and darkness allows evil free expression.

Ray tries to get home each night before it gets dark. Ray insists that his yard be illuminated with night-lights at all times. At night, Ray prefers to hide himself in the darkness of his house, but everything exterior to his immediate surroundings must be bathe in light.

The Motto that appears on the Viet Nam Memorial monument in Warren, Ohio: "The dreams of peace that for America have grown comfortable with Luzon, Iwo Jima, and the Belleau Woods, now draw back to the sounds of Chu Lai, Van Tong, and Khe Sanh; yet these dreams that created America, created our plight. Dropped into an historic void of a nations guilt  we come forth; not as mercenaries for our pay but as sons to our inherent rights. Not demanding sympathy, but desiring empathy; so that the dreams of our fathers shall not pass this generation by... and lay waste to the memories of our still great nation, nor to the memories of those whose dreams were forced by chance and circumstance to lie for all eternity, face-down in paddy mud."

Ray has developed relationships with nearly all of his neighbors over the last six years. His different-ness, once feared and discriminated against, is now his gift to all of us as we learn to accept that different-ness as an asset in our community. What is interesting about this community transformation is that Ray did not demand acceptance, but rather earned respect through personal contact and honest reflection. He transformed us, and not us  him. While Ray battles his demons, he allowed us the opportunity to empathize and learn from him. We, however, have learned more about ourselves, and the importance and gift of inclusion.

Medical definitions of PVSS or PTSD:

Traumatic experiences shake the foundations of our beliefs about safety, and shatter our assumptions of trust. Because they are so far outside what we would expect, these events provoke reactions that feel strange and "crazy". Even though these reactions are unusual and disturbing, they are typical and expectable. By and large, these are normal responses to abnormal events.

Post-traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) also first known as Post Viet Nam Stress Syndrome (PVSS) is the most common diagnostic category used to describe symptoms arising from emotionally traumatic experience(s). This disorder presumes that the person experienced a traumatic event involving actual or threatened death or injury to themselves or others -- and where they felt fear, helplessness or horror. Three additional symptom clusters, if they persist for more than a month after the traumatic event and cause clinically significant distress or impairment, make up the diagnostic criteria.

The three main symptom clusters in PTSD are: Intrusions, such as flashbacks or nightmares, where the traumatic event is re-experienced. Avoidance, when the person tries to reduce exposure to people or things that might bring on their intrusive symptoms. And Hyperarousal, meaning physiologic signs of increased arousal, such as hyper vigilance or increased startle response.

Trauma symptoms are probably adaptive, and originally evolved to help us recognize and avoid other dangerous situations quickly -- before it was too late. Sometimes these symptoms resolve within a few days or weeks of a disturbing experience: Not everyone who experiences a traumatic event will develop PTSD. It is when many symptoms persist for weeks or months, or when they are extreme, that professional help may be indicated. On the other hand, if symptoms persist for several months without treatment, then avoidance can become the best available method to cope with the trauma -- and this strategy interferes with seeking professional help. Postponing needed intervention for a year or more, and allowing avoidance defenses to develop, could make the work much more difficult.

During my interview process with Ray, I invited him to have breakfast with me at a nearby restaurant. Ray did not know any of the people that were in the restaurant that day, and yet most of the patrons of the cafi were familiar to me. I watched as Ray slowly begin to spin yarns, tell war stories and expound his philosophy of life, while commanding the attention of the crowd. His excitement level increased as he started to get feedback from his listeners, and he became even more wound up. Finally, he leaned over to tell me that he was exhausted and asked if I was ready to leave.

Ray exited the cafi as I paid for the meal, and several of my acquaintances asked, who is this fellow  Ray? I reflected for a moment, smiled, and responded by saying that Ray is a special friend of mine, and that we share the common bond of having served our country as Viet Nam War Veterans.

-- Anonymous, December 30, 1999