Are you too geeky for your own good? Confess your Geek Sins here.

We promise not to laugh...too much. By the way, you've got some toilet paper hanging out of the waist of your jeans.

-- Anonymous, January 20, 2000

Answers

um...uh...*clears throat*

a week ago i played pokeman with my significant other.

last weekend i played dungeons and dragons with some friends for about five hours while drinking soda after soda.

uh...*gulp* last night i played donkey kong for the nintendo 64 for three hours straight.

okay...that's way too much information.

i'm outta here!

-- Anonymous, January 20, 2000

Oh, god. I understood all the computer jargon in that entry.
Sigh. I am now a technogeek.

-- Anonymous, January 20, 2000

I spent about an hour ttalking to the MIS guy in work. We're getting a new proxy server for our internet access in work. I was all interested in how it worked, what it looked like, what the connection speed was, how did filters work, was there just a RJ45 connection, how fast would it be, was there control software, what did that run on?

At this stage I'm bouncing up and down (I bounce a lot when I'm interested in something) and most of his answers on don't know, don't care. At he's looking at me wondering 'Why does she care?'

I couldn't understand how he could have new 'toys' in his office and not want to play with them. It's moments like that make me realise I'm becoming a computer geek. Oh the shame, the shame :-)

-- Anonymous, January 20, 2000

(I got in, Pamie! still get the window, but I busted through!)

I'm so geeky that I got upset when I couldn't remember why the Brady kids reformed their singing group to sing the song 'Sunshine Day'. It wasn't to get money for their parent's anniversary platter, and it wasn't when Peter's voice was changing. I actually got alarmed that I couldn't think of the reason. Thank goodness I can at least remember all the words to that song, or else I would be inconsolable.

My secretary thinks I'm a geek because none of my pants are bell bottoms that cover my shoes. I sort of thought she was a geek because all of hers do. I still wear pants that fit, and stop at what I consider a 'reasonable level'. Maybe that doesn't mean I'm a geek though. Maybe it just means I'm old.

I say 'cool' and 'awesome' all the time. I have even been known to say 'groovy'.

Instead of picking up the latest Cosmo or People Magagazine when I was at the store, I actually went for the Resident Evil 3 book instead. I also flipped through Maxim and had to admit that Laura Flynn Boyle did look pretty do-able. It was as if I had completely forgotten to say, "She's too skinny to be sexy", while I glare at my husband and wait for him to agree that skinny girls don't look good at all, fat chicks are where it's at.

I wrote a fan letter to Robert R. McCammon after I read the book Boy's Life. I'm sure he wondered why a girl would have related so well to the story of a 12 year old boy, but he didn't write me back, so I guess I'll never know.

When I go to Target, I always go around the long way so I can see which Star Wars toys are on clearance.

I have a 'special pen' at work, and if it's missing, I turn the entire office upside down and threaten lives until it's found.

-- Anonymous, January 20, 2000

I should clarify that my answers are not 'computer geek' related, they are simply 'geek' related. I am a computer geek's worst nightmare.

-- Anonymous, January 20, 2000

One day last year as I sat working on the company website, I looked down at my shirt, which was blue denim with a faint grey/white plaid pattern. Fascinated with the design, I began wondering if the colors were from a browser-safe palette.

I first met my husband on a mud, and I hated him because he was a jerk online.

I dream about coding HTML. Really. I've also dreamt that I've been mudding and playing Soul Calibur.

I convinced my husband to get a Dreamcast just to satisfy my addiction to Soul Calibur.

Lately, I've thought the neatest thing has been the special software a friend got for nearly real-time streaming of his webcam.

I'm more likely to email or IM a friend than I am to pick up the phone.

I have to remember that not everyone knows that :) is a smiley face.

I've been known to say "LOL" out loud. (That's mighty embarassing.)

No one else at the office can figure out how to use my trackball.

My work wardrobe consists of rotating between cargo pants. Sneakers and my clunky Doc Marten sandals are my favorite shoes.

Last year (with my husband's help) I completely assembled a $300 toy remote-controlled car.

I miss playing D&D with my old highschool friends.

I read my husband's computer game mags, even though I don't play the games.

-- Anonymous, January 20, 2000

And apparently, I can't remember to close my italics tag.

-- Anonymous, January 20, 2000

For a good time, my SO and I play Trivial Pursuit.

At night before we go to bed, we read each other chapters of "Star Trek Memories" by William Shatner.

Between the two of us, we have four computers. One is completely obsolete, except for one game that we have that can only be played on it, because the game is also obsolete.

I personally have read "The Nitpicker's Guide to Next Gen Trek" over four times. I use it as a reference guide when old episodes come on. ("Hey, sweetie, this is the part where you can see a cameraman's reflection in Picard's paperweight!")

I could go on, but you get the point. *sob*

www.jetcity.com/~bookworm

-- Anonymous, January 20, 2000

This week I:

Spent four hours scouring the phone book for outlets that sell action figures based on characters in Tim Burton films.

Caught a glimpse in the mirror and realised I am so pale that my face is a reflective continuum. It reflects itself off of the mirror and back again, and so on.

Drank an entire 150 gram jar of Nescafe in one night, just so I could sit up surfing the net for manga sites. I'm still coming down from the caffeine high.

Eschewed going out with my friends for a 2 hour TV special on Stephen Hawking.

Avoided all human contact for an afternoon so I could re-read my collection of National Geographics.

Just about burst with happiness when, out shopping with my mother, she surprised me with a Qui-Gon Jinn spinning lollipop holder.

Me? A geek? I don't THINK so.

-- Anonymous, January 20, 2000

Oh, and I once sent a letter to Terry Jones (Monty Python, Starship Titanic, Labyrinth etc) asking if I could illustrate for him. Apparently, he already has an illustrator. (Petulant Homer voice) Stupid Brian Froud.

-- Anonymous, January 20, 2000

1. i loved the audiotape "growing up brady" by greg brady. a great way to make a trip to h-town bearable. 2. last night i got so frustrated playing some N64 shooter game (4 player, something about being an ant or elf and shooting ants, not bears), that i had to put the controller down before i started crying. 3. i debated yesterday afternoon whether or not to reschedule tomorrow's lunch date, as it's the day amber on "bold and the beautiful" is supposed to tell rick about the baby. 4. given a pair of tweezers, i will proceed to try and pull out every leg hair. (maybe you shouldn't know that...) 5. i am so happy when i get a lot of things accomplished at work. like today, i was amazing. ...i'm sure there is more...

-- Anonymous, January 20, 2000

I just asked my boyfriend to help me choose the classes I need to learn how to program. I asked him to help me with my homework. I have a friggin' law degree, but I've decided I want to be a programmer, because I'm JUST NOT GEEKY ENOUGH.

Help me.

-- Anonymous, January 20, 2000

Captain of my school's speech and debate team. Two years running. I've been on my schools' speech and debate teams for the past 5 years. It is my life.

A couple months ago in my American History class, my teacher asked us if any of us thought of ourselves as geeks. Several of us rose our hands (myself included). She said to the others, "no, I don't see you as a geek." To me: "Allyson, yes, I see you as a geek." Thanks Mrs. Farley!

I read TIME magazine weekly, plus any other books I can get my hands on. I've been known to read Sport Illustrated (something I have no intrest in, whatsoever) for lack of better material.

I have never been to a real music concert. This is because all of the bands I listen to are defunct, or a key member has died. Of course, Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young are coming near me in March, but no one will go with me, damnit. I'm not sure if this qualifies me as a geek or not...

-- Anonymous, January 20, 2000

Geek? Me?

Ahem.

I am 27 years old. I am single (okay, divorced). I live with my cat.

I own three computers, ranging from an obsolete 286 in my closet to the 500 MHz Pentium III I just got last week.

I have, really, more and closer friends online than I do IRL.

I use abbreviations like 'IRL'.

I've never played Dungeons and Dragons, but I run a roleplaying game, and play several others, including several MUSHes (which are online RPGs).

My roleplaying characters, like characters in any form of storytelling I'm a part of, are very much real to me and have their own space in my head.

I dream in HTML and other various 'net forms of communication.

Do I really need to go on? :)

Lisa Nichols
Till Human Voices Wake Us...

-- Anonymous, January 20, 2000

sigh...

I can and do stay up till at least 2 a.m. searching the internet for really "fun and exciting" sites.

I started my own web log just to teach myself html.

Sometimes when I am talking to somebody in the "real" world, I catch myself making typing motions with my fingers.

I think PBS is the only channel worth watching (except for Malcolm in the Middle)

I started an online journal....but am so paranoid of people I know finding it that I am considering stopping or at least changing all the details to further mask my identity.

I can not wait for my son to get old enough for PC games....it is the excuse I've been waiting for...

I currently am wearing glasses with the rims from one pair and the side bar/ear thingies from another pair. and no, they don't really go together all that well....

I thought : ) was so cool when I first saw it...so you can imagine my joy when I first saw :0 , ;-) and 8-)

sigh.

-- Anonymous, January 20, 2000

...okay, you lost my one track mind after you mentioned 'guessing other people's FTP passwords'...now i'm just speculating on yours...

• er1c_r0cks_my_w0rld
• all_the_w0rlds_a_stage
• p0p_maven
• h0nk_if_y0u_are_funn1e
• 1_left_my_heart_in_san_franc1sc0
• pussycats_rule
• just_squish_it

...heh...okay...back to my own world...

-- Anonymous, January 20, 2000

Hello, my name is Carol and I have serious geek-like tendencies.

1) I'm a big ol' Trekker (not Trekkie, thankyouverymuch) and have been since I was 13. I've been to three Trek conventions and one horror convention (won tickets to that one). The only reason I didn't dress up as a Star Trek character was lack of funds. (I refuse to wear a costume unless it looks authentic.)

2) Love Monty Python and Douglas Adams. I've recently become a Max Headroom fan due to the US TV series being shown on Bravo. Because of this, Matt Frewer has become my lust object.

3) I've never played D&D, but always felt as if I missed out on something in life because of this. I did have a friend help me construct a character, but for one reason or another I never used Alaina.

4) I love my computer and was seriously stressed over the last year because of all problems I had with it.

5) I have a website devoted to me.

6) I practically danced for joy when I initially saw that Stephen Hawking was guest-starring on an ep of ST:Next Generation, opposite Brent Spiner. I'm also trying to read "A Pictorial Brief History of the Universe" because I don't understand very much about physics, though I'm fascinated by it.

7) I frequently say "TMI! TMI!" when someone tells me more than I want to hear.

8) I'm really good at hooking up electrical equipment.

And I'm sure there's lots more, but I think I've said enough. I guess I should just 'fess up.

I'M A BIG GEEK!

-- Anonymous, January 20, 2000

And I, apparently, don't know my own e-mail address. *sigh*

-- Anonymous, January 20, 2000

I was playing a tricky rhythm figure over and over with my left hand. I wanted to count how many times I was doing it, but rather than just say the numbers out loud, I used the digits of my right hand to count... in binary.

-- Anonymous, January 20, 2000

I forgot to mention: I'm a single woman living alone in a one bedroom apartment and I have four cats.

I better stop while I'm behind.

-- Anonymous, January 20, 2000

Oh, I forgot my Hitch-Hiker's Guide addiction. I signed up to be a reporter on the official earth guide website (www.h2g2.com), and got one of my articles published. (Look for Hippies.)
I still have my old Atari. I love Joust. Not the new Joust, but the 'classic' one, where you are the good tan blob and you have to defeat all the evil brown blobs.
Did I mention my thing for the Young Ones and Monty Python? Or how I lapse into the psychotic Frenchman's insults when I can;t think of anything good to say?
I'm a big freaky geek.

-- Anonymous, January 20, 2000

I write Xena fanfiction ... I watch Star Trek, DS-9, and Voyager obsessively ... I collect font family posters and hang them up in my bedroom and on my office walls ... I know the theme song to "Spongebob Square Pants" ... I wear company t-shirts ... I use the coffee mug we had custom-made for our last conference meeting ... I have an Apple G4 sticker on my car ... I view the page source of websites for fun ... I think Joxer is cute ... I have a deaf chihuahua and I taught him to obey sign language ... I watched the Rocko's Modern Life marathon on Nickelodeon on Thanksgiving instead of watching the parade ... I used to drink Zima with a Jolly Rancher dropped in the bottom. I don't know if I'm a geek, exactly, but I'm definitly weird. =)

-- Anonymous, January 20, 2000

Egad! It's not pokeman! It's pokémon!

-- Anonymous, January 20, 2000

I once had a dream that was entirely in French (not my first language, I should add). Does that count as geeky or merely bizarre?

http://www.geocities.com/jgwr

-- Anonymous, January 20, 2000

On the one hand...

I spent 40 hours last week just reading websites like this one. (Darn Squishy archives! Why are they so long?? ;))

I don't own a TV. Who has time for TV???

Yet I watch "ER" religiously every week (when not a rerun) on a TV in the cafeteria on campus. Part of those 40 hours on the web is spent reading and posting on "ER" websites. (Those are what led me to Squishy, eventually!)

I love programming. One Spring Break my girlfriend and I spent the entire week writing a card game program for a MOO. I spent many many more hours last summer hanging out and writing more programs for that MOO.

I miss D&D.

I'm majoring in a low-employment, no-future scientific discipline simply because I love research.

I own only 3 CD's, all of which I got last year. I don't have a CD player yet. (I use the one on the office computer.)

--On the other hand:

I only use Macs. I know how to use only about 10 programs on them. I don't own my own computer. I've never installed hardware or software. I don't have a webpage. I have to ask somebody for help every time I need to open a graphics file. I have no idea how much a gigabyte is and whether I should be impressed by that much memory. I've never bought anything online except airline tickets (and not at Priceline).

So, I'm worse than a geek--I'm a STUPID geek!

-- Anonymous, January 20, 2000

OK, now a question for the forum. What's the difference between a "geek" and a "nerd"? And why does "geek" seem to be the more popular term? For example, the TV show is called "Freaks and Geeks". And Pamie never uses the term "nerd".

Am I a nerd?

This reminds me of the time when my college roommate from Arkansas patiently explained to me that he would wear the label "redneck" with pride, but would be insulted if someone called him a "hick".

-- Anonymous, January 20, 2000

Hi. My name is Meghan, and sob I'm a dork.
I was dragged to a showing of American Pie tonight, and when the "netcam" scene came on, I was irritated because he didn't bother to get an audio connection, too.

I brought books to college with me. Lots of books. More books that I can easily carry with a few bags.

As we speak, I am eating ramen noodles and mandrin oranges. Together. Why? Because that's all that I have, food wise.

I no longer have a phone. I don't need a phone. I leave ICQ and AIM up all day instead of getting a phone machine. Everyone that I want to talk to is online, anyhow.

I own "The Definitive Guide" to Star Trek: The Next Generation and DS9.

The biggest geek thing?

Shit. I can't belive I'm admitting this.

I'm in bed while I type this. Yes, you heard correctly. I have my computer right next to my bed. I can type without getting out of bed. I'm officially a loser.

-Meghan

-- Anonymous, January 21, 2000

Oh god. When I read Meghans last confession my immediate reaction was to think what a great set-up that must be. Just pass me my Geek sticker now and be done with it okay?

-- Anonymous, January 21, 2000

And I was sitting here wondering if I could talk my husband into a setup like Meghans. *Seriously* wondering.

http://www.bitchypoo.com/bitchypoo.html

-- Anonymous, January 21, 2000

Oh yeah, oh yeah, I'm the queen geek, go me!!

Everyone wants to be me now, aw yeah.

I'm a trendsetting geek!!
Did I mention that I can type lying down?

You know you're jealous.
-Meghan

-- Anonymous, January 21, 2000

I concur with whoever it was that counts in binary on her hands. That's the only way to go. I used to practice speed-counting to 31 on my right hand. Why? I was a nerd.

Other geeky things I sometimes do:

- Sing the Animaniacs' "Nations of the World" song from memory

- Cite a Simpsons or Newsradio quote for nearly any occasion

- Read the dictionary for an hour and not get bored

- Drive up and down Mopac at night blasting Moxy Fruvous (or whatever) from my car stereo

- Go to a movie alone without shame

- Pronounce the periodic table: Heh, Hee...lie-bee-bic-noff-nee...nam- gal-sips-k'larr..."

- Wear a shirt inside-out and not know it

Though I guess the geekiest thing of all is that I admit all this to the general public, on the Internet no less. Sheesh.

-- Anonymous, January 21, 2000

Right now I've got dental floss hanging out of my mouth while I surf, because I'd rather surf the net than do dental hygiene correctly. The worst nightmare I've had in recent memory is a hacker getting into my computer here at home and at work through one of those backdoor thingys, and said hacker made my computers do even more mean and unpredicatble things than usual. It scared me to death.

Geek on, Bunnigrrrl

*********************************** http://www.wishbonezine.com

-- Anonymous, January 21, 2000

Dear Lisa, I'm a geek because I KNOW when they sung "Sunshine Day". They sang it for the audition for the TV show to win their parents a silver platter. Isn't it funny how their voices fade out like that at the end? I don't know if this makes me a geek, but I know that fading out in a live performance is not only silly but near impossible! Chuh!

-- Anonymous, January 21, 2000

I have been so excited all week. Why? Because I get to order $2000 worth of brand new design software. Whooooooooooo!

I know more about what Beth (xeney) has done over the past few weeks than I do about anyone in my family.

And I keep jumping over to the Squishy forum to find out the "Wu" names of people I don't know.

-- Anonymous, January 21, 2000

I'm really, really pissed that Baldur's Gate II, Neverwinter Nights, AD&D 3rd Edition, and Hero 5th Edition are going to come out in the same month. That's way too much money to have to spend all at once on games I won't have time to play, but dammit, I have to own.

-- Anonymous, January 21, 2000

Smart is beautiful. REally.--Al of Nova Notes.

-- Anonymous, January 21, 2000

I listen to Radiohead religiously and think OK Computer is _VERY PROFOUND_

I pay over $100 a month to have digital cable and Road Runner service and the only reason I have digital cable is so I can watch Larry Sanders, Mr. Show and Sopranos

I get excited about new D3D drivers, GeForce video cards and Athlon processors

I'm addicted to Half-Life: Opposing Force

I drooled when I got NBA2K for Christmas

I leave my Instant Messaging window on all day

I check for e-mail at least once every five minutes

I almost cried at the intro to Final Fantasy VIII

I spent an entire evening trying to get my computer to run just a little faster so Unreal: Tournament and Quake III would play better at higher resolutions

I have a cat and I'm a guy living alone

Some of my work consists of writing about gadgets, and I get visibly excited when something comes in the mail in a big box

I wept during The Iron Giant (more than once)

I've had a Palm Pilot for almost two years and I still use it every day

I think 56k is way, WAY too fucking slow

Web sites created: 5

Sad, but true,

omar

-- Anonymous, January 21, 2000

I'm reading "Mastering Enterprise JavaBeans and the Java 2 Platform, Enterprise Edition" and "Java Servlet Programming" for my own pleasure.

When I'm not doing that, I'm reading a Java 2 Certification Guide so that I can take the Sun Certified Java Programmer's test later this year.

I read the following magazines exclusively: Java Pro, The Industry Standard, Red Herring

I actually spend four straight days taking the Web Monkey JavaScript tutorial.

I force my wife to listen as I espouse the virtues of Object-Oriented Design Patterns and why the Abstract Factory pattern is cool. Because of me, she knows what Encapsulation, Polymorphism, and Inheritance are and why they help create cool computer programs.

I spend more time in the Computers section of the bookstore than any other section and I really, really, really want the "XML Bible" the Huntington Beach Barnes and Noble has stacked on a table in the entry way.

-- Anonymous, January 21, 2000

Dear Omar,

I loved your geek list. You rock.

Love,

A Fellow Iron Giant Weeper & Constant E-Mail Checker

-- Anonymous, January 21, 2000

for jason: the difference between geeks and nerds.

i hover between geekdom and nerddom. but spending the past 6 years as a computer engineering student, completely surrounded by nerds and geeks of various flavors, has made me a bit sick of it all. somewhere under the surface there's a really pissed-off punk kid just waiting to burst free.

-- Anonymous, January 21, 2000

Thanks for the link, eva (though I'm interested in whether other readers agree with the definitions there). Now I really feel like I belong to no group, or at least I am only partly in each group. I certainly do a lot of "geeking" as defined by that website. Then again, I don't feel I am "hyper-informed" like the prototypical geek, and I am definitely not a neo-paganist. On the other hand, I certainly do not dress like the nerds described there (I hate plaid--my dress of choice is t-shirts.), and I am trying really hard to expand my off-line social life. Once you've had a RL girlfriend, online relationships are just not fulfilling enough, you know? So I don't know what I am. I feel like I have no identity. I'm torn between doing what I like (in the short term, at least) and feeling that those things are unhealthy.

Well, enough angst...."Nerd" was my label in school and college. I once had a roommate in college who was much nerdier than me. One night someone wrote "Pocket Protector Palace" on our door in chalk. It really upset me. The ironic thing was, at that time I didn't even know what a pocket protector was! (I've never worn one. I don't think my roommate did either.) But I could tell it was derogatory.

-- Anonymous, January 21, 2000

I am a geek because:

I am still working my way through my "Y2K" water supply.

I have Linux installed on my desktop computer at work, and on my laptop computer at home.

I tell other people how cool Linux is.

I can program in Perl.

I have a Ph.D., I am single (divorced), 31, and I live alone with 3 cats.

My cats have more toys than some people's children.

I got divorced (in part) so I could be a college professor.

I have actually had a serious real-world relationship with someone I met on alt.personals

I was really excited to discover that "Republic of Tea" has a website so I can buy my favorite flavors online.

At least two of the selections in my Bug's CD changer at any given time may qualify as obscure techno. When that Orbital song that used to be featured in the Bug commercials comes on, I turn it up and feel pretty cool.

I have four pairs of Doc Martens. I wear them to work. I wear them even if I'm wearing a suit. I won't take a job that requires heels.

-- Anonymous, January 21, 2000

Wow. Whats with geeks and cats? I have two. Two dogs too, though.

I noticed that Baldurs Gate II, Neverwinters Night thing too. Bah. I think Diablo II is coming out soon.::glances at his video game collection, some of which he can't even play on his low-end computer::

I'm a huge mudder. Anyone ever heard of DragonRealms? I could play that game for hours.

My computers right by my bed too. Heh. What a coincidence.

I've never played the table top game AD&D, and feel left out. I do read a ongoing online story set in the AD&D universe, and I think its a masterpice.(www.peldor.com)

Geek. Yeah, thats me.

Ryan

-- Anonymous, January 21, 2000

I am known around my office as the "geek girl". Even though my job has nothing to do with IS, people come to me first when they have computer problems (which is really scary!).

The highlight of my week was: talking to my best friend (who lives an hour away) on the phone while IM'ing my other best friend (3 hours away) AND IM'ing my husband who was 5 hours away on a business trip ALL AT THE SAME TIME!

Doesn't take much to impress me, does it?

-- Anonymous, January 21, 2000

So what kind of geek am I if I have no idea what "Baldur's Gate" is, other than a video game, yet I know that Baldur is a Norse god who didn't have a gate, and that when he is killed by Loki, that starts the beginning of the Ragnarok?

-- Anonymous, January 22, 2000

I read books on html or learn new programmes for fun, I do dream about writing html code, and my worst time waster (actually, I think it's my only time waster b/c I don't DO anything else) is reading web forums and now journals (!) or creating new web pages. It's kinda like when I was a kid and loved stationary (OK, it's true, I still do) - getting a new web page going gives me the same feeling.

Also I was really bummed when Due South ended, and I've watched just about all of Blake's 7 on video...

I've never yet dreamed about guessing ftp codes though! :)

-- Anonymous, January 22, 2000

Some more geek traits I possess:

In film and TV I NEVER fall for the good-looking lead guy. It's always the dorky sidekick. The exception to this is Ichabod in Sleepy Hollow, but as he was as geeky as is possible for a hero to be, I think that excuses me.

I cried when Twin Peaks ended. The worst part of this is that, as I was too young (about eleven) to have watched it when the series was first aired, I saw it last year on video. I already KNEW the ending, having read all about it on the internet, and still got upset. Duh.

I still own (and, on occasion, listen to) recordings from Michael Jackson, Elton John, C+C Music Factory, Nelson and Adam Ant.

I become agitated if I don't get my *daily* internet fix.

I study Renaissance Gesture and Medieval History. Not as a course requirement- purely by choice.

I enjoy working out.

And, quelle surprise, I also have a cat.

Okay, is there some kind of dork rehab? If so, sign me up.

-- Anonymous, January 22, 2000

Oh, AAAAaand, I still wear braids, Mary Janes, and love all things Hello Kitty. I'm twenty-one. I also, in theory, hate "cutesy" things, which makes me not only a geek, but also a hypocrite.

-- Anonymous, January 22, 2000

I have a t-shirt that reads: (back) I sense much NT in you
NT leads to blue screen.
Blue screen leads to downtime.
Downtime leads to suffering.
NT is the path to the dark side. (front) Powerful Unix is. Worse yet, I designed this shirt.

-- Anonymous, January 22, 2000

Ok GEEKoids, there sure seems to be many of you out there. Some sound like being a GEEK is a "guilty pleasure" so here goes

You may be Geeks but in RL (Real Life) you have become indispensable. All your friends RL and OL (Online) contact you if they cant open an E-mail attachment. Don't forget the richest man in the world is a GEEK (self confessed, like him or not)

Here are my credentials to make me a Signor GEEK (one of the originals) 1) I have assembled, etched, wire wrapped, soldered, PROMed, programmed, talked, HACKED, ate, slept and yes dreamt computers for 27 (urp) years.

2) Diet until 30; Coffee, Pepsi, Powdered donuts, chocolate, Twinkies and all Caffeinated/Sugared items.

3) a. I own and use ATARI, Commodore, SEGA, Nintendo, Nintendo 64, Sony Play station, and have a standing order for Play Station 2, b. All are in my living room (to my wives great annoyance) hooked to the big screen TV.

4) Played and wrote manuals for D & D before it was Advanced D & D and know who Gygax and Arnison are.

5) Owned a HP 4 function calculator and used it with a slide rule to finish Calculus 1A.

6) Have a pocket protector (All be it now in my brief case)

7) Average GPA 3.8(includes collage and Grad school)

8) Average hours of sleep from 13 to 30 2-3 Hours a night until crash time(14-18 Hours sleep).

9) My sons first play toys on the floor of my den/workshop were old MBs (Mother Boards), chips and Service tools, At 3 we had to take them away from him when we found most of the door knobs and table legs loose around the house until he learned that not all screws were hiding CBs (circuit boards).

The good news is that all of that bush league GEEK training came in handy. I work for one of those companies that pays me a gazillion dollars to do the things I use to do for fun at 3:00 in the morning. The funny part is I get Tec calls from those same business that were apoplectic if I came anywhere near there systems 20 years ago.

Family Life is very good. I have a beautiful non-geek wife who likes her "absent minded professor" that can get her email up in 10 minuets and assemble all the Christmas toys without the directions. I am also blessed with a son who talks Tek speak like a true second generation GEEK and is sure that its normal to have the house networked.

Hope this isn't too long but I was hoping to main stream Geekdom and give a glimpse of what it can look like years down the road to those who think GEEKiness is something to hide.

-- HAPPYDAD

-- Anonymous, January 23, 2000

Props on Twin Peaks thing -- I too was saddened by the end... I was living in Germany when the show originally aired, so I caught the whole first season, but when I moved to the 'States, they were already mid-way through the second. By then, it was clear the show would be cancelled, so all I could do was watch, wondering what I'd missed in between. The last episode was a thing of brilliance, though.

On Diablo II: I saw it about eight months ago at the last E3 and it rocked, even in its pre-beta stage. I can't wait. Oh, and if you haven't played Homeworld, check it out.

-- Anonymous, January 23, 2000

People keep mentioning using abbreviations IRL...out loud. (irl, brb, lol) Okay. But nothing compares to saying idk (I don't know) out loud. Just try it.

-- Anonymous, January 24, 2000

there is NOTHING wrong with going to a movie alone. it's even more fun if you are sitting in between two couples.

-- Anonymous, January 24, 2000

Okay you geeks. I am not a geek. Not a nerd. Not a dork.

But I'm currently dating one. He even says he's a Big Dork. This is my first experience with a dork. These are my observations:

1. He has 3 computers plus a laptop. I don't know their speeds and sizes and all that, but along with the scanner, camera, fax machine, printers and other stuff in the spare bedroom, it looks like mission control.

2. All his bookmarks are computer related.

3. He tapes X-files, Simpsons and Star Trek

4. He can quote Simpsons and Monty Python for any occasion.

5. He almost had a big O when I gave him Monty Python tapes for Christmas.

6. I gave him those refrigerator magnets that are words where you can write funny things on your frig, and he alphabatized them.

7. He is insanely neat.

8. He is just plain goofy.

9. He collects Disney children's videos. The animated ones. And watches them.

There is a lot of other stuff, I can't think of right now. Do you think he qualifies?

-- Anonymous, January 24, 2000

Don: you are indeed a GEEK GOD! :)

Joy: Hee hee! I have a friend who has a bunch of those word magnets on her door (it's a big heavy metal door). While she was away, I organized them in terms of parts of speech. ;)

-- Anonymous, January 24, 2000

I'd like to nominate the people typing as thier cats in the question just down the street. : )

I left one out. I entertain myself on the long drive home by picking a random topic and giving a speech on it. I am sad.

-- Anonymous, January 24, 2000

There is a point where you become so geeky that your geekyness collapses on itself like a star turning into a black hole. At that point you turn into a technorealist, which isn't much fun so you turn into a technosurrealist. And that is just weird. After that comes technohippy where you spray paint your case and cover it with stickers from Planet K. Your zip drive somehow becomes coated with candle wax, sticky rum and coke spills, and incense ash. Oddly enough it runs better that way.

-- Anonymous, January 24, 2000

I don't think I qualify as a geek (I don't know HTML, don't own my own computer and still write letters by hand, and I only really know Autocad and Photoshop and how to surf the net) but maybe I qualify as a "starter geek". I definitely am a "nerd".

I can be a starter geek because:

Back when I was in high school and the Apple II was a hot new item I learned Basic, and tried to make an interactive story on the computer to impress my friends.

I used to set up simultaneous instant email transmission with my brother at Northwestern and "talk" for hours with him when I was at college, a few years before I even heard of IMing.

I make typing motions with my hands when I relate an IM or email conversation IRL.

I'm always telling people stories about my cat where the cat has speaking parts. (or does this make me a nerd?)

I eat breakfast, lunch and dinner in front of the computer.

But I'm really a NERD, because:

I only know what all those cute little abbreviations mean from all the time I've spent on the net.

I just sent a mass email to all my freinds and relatives because I was so excited about finding sites listing information like "Past Congressional Voting Record" on all the presidential canditates.

I've spent hours reading the dictionary. I'm very inefficient at research because I just start reading everything (and relating it to the people near me - "hey, did you know that the city of San Dimas actually requires new residential construction to provide hot water services using an alternate energy source?")

I wooed my SO by arguing the relative merits and pitfalls of THatcherism, Reaganism, Clintonism, and other -isms.

I really seriously don't understand why you can't put plaid and stripes together (if the colors match, why shouldn't it be a go?)

I bike to work to aviod traffic and because you can ride on the sidewalks and run a red light with out getting a ticket.

I had serious eyeglass envy as a child. I used to make glasses out of cardboard when I was little, and they would always rip in half and then (you guessed it!) I would tape them. Plus, I really wanted to have to have to use a wheelchair so I got to ride elevators and ramps and stuff, and I thought deafness and blindness was so neat that my little sister and I would spend whole afternoons signing alphabet messages across the yard to each other, and using a pin to punch paper for "Braille" messages that we would read blindfolded.

I eat the same thing every day for weeks, because then I don't have to think about what to make for dinner when I come home. (cheese omelette, noodles and stir-fried spinach, anyone?

I wear one pair of cargo pants everyday and just change the tops, and that's only because it's expected of you socially, left to my own devices I would stay in the same clothes asleep and awake, changing maybe once a week. (okay, maybe I better stop here, I'm sure all of you are glad I'm telling you this online rather than in person . . .)

-- Anonymous, January 27, 2000

~1~ I'm at this website (Enough said?) But wait, theres more.

~2~ I've sheltered myself in my room, putting blankets over the windows ( Opposed to breaching the outdoors to buy curtains ) just because I dont like the glare on my computer screen at 10 a.m.

~3~ There are 451 people on my AIM buddy list. I don't think I even KNOW 451 people. This is mainly due to the fact that when people change their name I never delete it. But 4-5-1? When does it end!?

~4~ I require SPF 50 because of the vampire like quality of my skin due to far to much time inside.

~5~ I know what ( ~ ) That is called. That would be a Tilde everyone. :)

~6~ I watch revenge of the geeks with an "Eerie" anticipation.

~7~ I've actually been known to carry on conversations with "Interactive Buddies" like SmarterChild. ( Maybe that takes me over the border of Geek to Total Loser )

~8~ I have my computer set up to display web-sites completely in HTML code, because I feel it makes surfing more of a challenge when you get to "De-code" it all. (You dream in it.. I surf it)

~9~ I pride myself on my wonderfull typing speed ( Slightly over 110 WPM ) I believe I blew Mavis Beacon out of the water with that one. Woo!

~10~ The Simple fact that I at one time USED that program

~11~ I got a copy of Kurzwell's voice and created 10 different alias's for myself completely taking after famous artists and characters, Now I can command my computer as if I was an Ewok, Chubacca, President Lincoln, Steve Ercal (spell) And even Mr. Bean. ( theres more but lets just leave me alone for now)

~12~ I took AP computer science for shits and giggles, And finished with an A-, The entire time using programs I created when I was Fourteen.

Well those are 12 prime examples, I could go into detail of how I know every word to prime 80's tv shows theme's like gummy bears and fragal rock, but thats for another list :).

IM me, I need more on my list, just think you could be 452! - Boldwindr

Bye...

-- Anonymous, March 10, 2002