Do you have something that makes you irresistable to others?

Share your own Sex Spots.

-- Anonymous, January 25, 2000

Answers

See, I have these thumbs. They're like, way shorter than regular thumbs. They look like somebody whacked them with a hammer when I was still in my formative years.

My family tells me my great-grandfather had thumbs like this. My manicurist correctly guessed my country of immigrant origin (the Ukraine) just by looking at my thumbs.

They're so short, and mystifying, and powerful. They are my thumbs. And I am one sexy weird-thumbed wench.

--Jan

-- Anonymous, January 25, 2000

Oh god, can't believe I'm doing this...

I have horrible allergies and my eyes get all nice and inflamed and puffy and red. I look like a bassist who does a lot of pot and always, always gets laid. I wear hard contacts, so my eyes get even itchier, and I walk around, blinking at everything flirtatiously. By the end of the day, my eyes have dried out and my contacts have this cloudy, nasty crap on them so everything looks hazy and soft-focused, like a Barbra Streisand movie.

Lately, my eyes have gotten pus-sy as well, and when I wake up in the morning, I have a hard crust around my red eyelids, as if I'm turning into some soft of lobster-man. Mmmm, lobster man sexy...

Let's see, what else. My vision is damned sexy. I can sleep with any woman, no matter the deformity because with my contacts or glasses, she looks just like Catherine Zeta-Jones-Wrinkly-Assed-Douglas. Indiscriminate affection is damned sexy.

What else... my hairline has risen like bad tide, which bodes well for the next few years -- women love that, ya know. Michael Ironside is sexy, tell me he's not.

Ya like that? Huh? Yeah, I can see it. You're all drooling on my pillow and shit...

Did I mention I have quite hairy legs?

Pamie has damned me. I am the sexiest man with the lowest self esteem in the room

o.

-- Anonymous, January 25, 2000

Whoah baby, watch out! Have I got something sexy...

Stretch Marks!

Oh yeah, you know you wanna see them. Yep, 15 years of yo-yo dieting have left me with these love marks---and I've got them everywhere!

You know you want me.

-- Anonymous, January 25, 2000

I've got those same sexy stretch marks on my tummy from the time I was sick with horribly bad bronchitis for a month and lost 20 lbs, then gained them back and then some when I started eating again. No man can resist my shiny white stretch marks on my pale rounded tummy.

I'm so glad for my chronic post-nasal drip, it makes my voice sound so phlegmily husky.

There's also the mole on my left cheek (no, it's *not* a blemish, dammit!) and the tiny mole under my left eye. Men and women fall at my feet at the sight of my moles.

Speaking of eyes, what's sexier than squinting through old glasses that desperately need replacing? Nothing, I tell you! If squinting works for Clint, it can work for me.

There's lots more, but I don't want anyone to faint from sheer sexual excitiment, especially if anyone's reading this while at work.

-- Anonymous, January 25, 2000

I'm too sexy for my shirt. So sexy, it hurts!

Being a contact lens wearer also, I find myself pulling these ultra-sexy, and not at all spazzy moves like: during a conversation when I am trying to look the person I'm talking with in the eye, a contact will dry out and the next blink will cause my right hand to fly up involuntarily to catch the contact that is threatening to jump out. I'll usually yell out "Gah!" when this happens, which most men consider to be a mating call of sorts, because obviously it would sound like music to their ears. I can't believe I haven't been pounced on by one of the guys here at work, they must have unbelievable self control. If I told them that without my contacts I wouldn't even be able to find my way out the door, they would probably just pass out with desire. Myopia is one helluva sexy affliction.

When I sneeze, I have to hold it in, which some say is unhealthy, but I say it's so I don't have to file one sexual harassment suit after another. If I don't hold back, and sneeze like I was born to sneeze, then I make the loudest man-style, raspberry-sneezy sound in the world, and frankly, that's a sound that no straight man could resist. Hell, I could probably even seduce gay men with a sneeze like that. It's my Super Sexual Weapon, and is registered apporpriately.

Oh, and at night, when I'm watching television on the sofa, but before I remove my eye make-up, it smears in the naughtiest way. Just enough to show how trampy and hot I am. Enough to accent the "bed hair" action I have going on because, when I'm on the sofa, I get comfortable, and that means snuggling in almost as if I am in bed. Usually during tv time I'll wear a seductive and provacative outfit like giant slouch socks, leggings and a men's XXXL sweatshirt, so that every inch of my body is covered with 10 yards of cloth, except for my smeared up face. Breathtaking. That's what I am. And I won't even go into how irresistable I become overnight while I sleep. I go to bed as simply a Goddess, but wake up as a bedraggled, bad-breath havin', puffy eyed Morning Goddess. My husband has to keep his head under the covers when I get up for fear that he will catch sight of Morning Goddess and not be able to concentrate on work for the rest of the day.

If only I could bottle and sell the animal magnetism that exudes from my every pore, I would probably make Bill Gates look like a pauper. Sure, it may look like oil and sweat coming out of my pores, but trust me, it's pure, concentrated animal magnetism, baby.

-- Anonymous, January 25, 2000

nose hair.

back hair.

ear hair.

-- Anonymous, January 25, 2000

Have you ever lost a lot of weight and been left with that flap of weird skin that dangles from the tricep? That's the best. I like to wear tanktops to that everyone can be impressed with my non-muscular limbs. My arms just scream "I used to be overweight, but now I'm not!" Wins them over everytime.

-- Anonymous, January 25, 2000

In that early stage of goofy lust when you are early in a dating relationship inevitably you hold hands. Not only do you do that, but you do that finger wrestling thing under the table. I add a wonderful new twist. My thumbs go all the way back the wrong way. I have hitch-hiker thumbs so that the top of my thumb makes a 90 degree angle with the rest of my thumb in either direction. So, imagine the shouts of glee, when boys find out that they have not broken my hand, but in fact this is an extra bonus they get with me.
Cia

-- Anonymous, January 25, 2000

My feet are great, but its my toes that are stunning. Due to some amazing evolutionary defect I have monkey feet. My toes look like a normal man's fingers. These sassy digits are fully funtional too. I'm greatly comforted by the fact if there is ever an industrial accident that makes me lose my hands I won't miss a beat. One of the big toes is crooked too. You heard me. Unfortunatly the nail grew back after I broke it. Its a shame you can't wear sandels year round. And ladies, I'm single

-- Anonymous, January 25, 2000

I absolutely love that Omar tried to spell the adjective form of "pus." Whenever someone says that word I instantly ask them to spell it, and then they say "p-u-s-s-y." And then they give me the, "You can take the girl out of the third grade, but you can't take the third grade out of the girl" look.

Potty humor makes me Super Sexy!

-- Anonymous, January 25, 2000

Hmm - I think the contact lens thing is fairly common- anyone else ever wake up with what looks like pink eye the next morning? cos you 'forgot' to take them out (yeah - that does actually mean couldn't see straight enough to)

I'd forgotton about my sneezing until I was reading down - I get this from my Dad's side of the family - I don't sneeze once - oh no! that would be normal instead I go for the super sexy, super delux neverr less then 8 in a row. As a result I usally try to hold them in which results in an even sexier impression of someone having a fit

But my show-stopper, no-one can beat me for downright weird sexy - I have a hole in the back of my neck,it's at the base of my skull,just where my hairline ends. If amourous young men aren't warned in advance it has a similar effect to Pamie's eye goo - they run screaming like little girlies - and I don't even have to be looking at them!

-- Anonymous, January 25, 2000

Shmoopie:

the better to smell you with,

feel you with,

hear you with.

-- Anonymous, January 25, 2000

i have the sneezing thing too.. but i never hold it in. no way!! so i end up sneezing about 5 times in a row, and many times people don't even realize i'm sneezing. they just think i occasionally go "CHA!! CHA!! CHA!! CHA!! CHA!!" just for the hell of it. also, i sweat like a pig. and i'm a girl. my hands are always cold and sweaty. the only logic i have behind picking out my shirts is "will the sweat spots show?" my nostrils flare at the most inappropriate times. i have a surgical scar on my armpit from when i had to get a boil lanced. my face is very very veiny. the veins under my eyes make me look like i always have black eyes, or that "i'm really worn out because my life is too crazy and filled with debauchery" look. and my rewetting drops for my contacts make me feel like i have that mysterious jordan catalano thing going on from my so-called life, and some guy out there is just yearning for me to tell him "you're so beautiful.. it hurts to look at you"

-- Anonymous, January 25, 2000

I, too, astound and amaze those around me with my multi-sneezes. Co-workers pause to count. Those that have been around long enough know better than to answer each "a-chew!" with a "bless you!" They just wait a minute or two then ask, "Are you done yet?"

When I was a wee lassie, I used to get cysts on my eyes. As a result, I have several little blank spots in my lash lines where lashes can't grow because of the scar tissue. Well, except for one. Because of the tiny scar, it grows downwards and I'm unaware of its return until vision in my right eye suddenly starts getting blurry. Then I realize that sexy little bitch is back and trapping tears. Then it's time for the tweezers.

I think the last time that lash was back, it brought a friend. A few weeks ago my right eye was irritated. I kept rubbing, using eye drops, nothing seemed to help. When I finally got to a mirror and stretched the outer corner of my eye away, barely visible was one freaky albino eyelash that appeared to be growing on the inside of my eyelid. My husband confirmed this before the overpowering sexiness of my mutant eyelash forced him to flee the bathroom. Yep, tweezers took care of that one too, though I fear its return.

-- Anonymous, January 25, 2000

Gee, I was gonna say "my tits" but maybe I misunderstood the question.

-- Anonymous, January 25, 2000

Heather--

not if they leak or lean, honey.

-- Anonymous, January 25, 2000

Hmm... the fact that I have not shaved my legs in 3 months. It's winter... why would I need to shave my legs? Besides, when I actually *do* shave them, I get razor burn.

Either way, guys love it. Really.

-- Anonymous, January 25, 2000

I have a mole too! So sexy. Right next to my nose:) Seriously, people will come up to me and say: "Oh! You've got a nose ring -- oh wait..."

Then there's my dancing moves. So smooth...I must look like I'm having spasms. So irrestible...

-- Anonymous, January 25, 2000

I too have moles, yep, I'm covered with them. People look at me and shout "Holy Moly!" Its really terrible, and I went to see about getting them zapped off, but the doctor told me the scars would be worse than the moles. I guess secretly he was telling me how sexy they are and that I would be lacking in sex appeal without them. Right. The funny thing is my fiance refuses to call them moles. It makes him feel better to call them beauty marks or freckles. I guess it doesn't gross him out as much.

-- Anonymous, January 25, 2000

All hail my ass. That's right, my ass. Rather than the normal - and boring - ass which curves gently to meet the lower back, I have a shelf ass.

Yes, a shelf ass. You could park the entire Stephen King Library on the shelf of my ass and have room left over for your drink (don't forget to use the coaster!)

Also, on the piece of skin separating my two nostrils (my husband swears it's called the septum, but I'm skeptical) I have a perfectly round, perfectly centered, dark freckle. Most people don't notice it, but once they do, they're mesmerized. It draws them in, it hypnotizes them.

You know you want me.

http://www.bitchypoo.com/bitchypoo.html

-- Anonymous, January 25, 2000

Earlier this year, I discovered a spot on my nose. It was a nice spot, a blemish.. a beauty mark. It actually looked a bit like I had a drop of water constantly in the middle of my nose. Made me look like I'd just worked up a sweat, you know.

I visted my parents in Florida in May and they took one look at my nose, and being parents, yelled, "Skin cancer! You haven't always had that! Skin cancer! Go get it looked at.. now now now!" So being a dutiful daughter, I trudged home and went to a dermatologist who took one look at it and asked quite possibly the silliest question I've ever heard posed to a 30-year old woman...

"Did you spend much time in the sun as a child?"

Hello? I'm 30. I grew up in the 70's and 80's. No one ever TOLD us we weren't suppposed to slather ourselves with baby oil and roast ourselves for hours at a time in the summer sun. I grew up with the Hawaiian Tropic girl!

So he gave it a quick snip and it was quickly diagnosed as skin cancer. Whoohoo! (Not the "eww, your nose just fell off" kind, at least. The "nice" kind of cancer. The one that doesn't come back.)

To achieve maximum sex appeal out of this baby, I quickly packed my things and moved to Austin and started a new job, where I knew no one and wanted to make a good impression. What better way than nose surgery?

Three weeks into the job, I made an appointment to have the spot removed. I checked in for out-patient surgery, woke up, looked in a mirror.. and hot damn! If the boys didn't trip over themselves for me after this, nothing could win 'em over! In addition to looking like a prize fighter, my nose had these wonderful stitches that made the whole thing look like that little cut in Jeff Goldblum's back in "The Fly", when he first starts turning into a fly. But wait, you haven't hear the best part...

He wouldn't let me cover it up! Ohh no. He knew how hot this would make me look and insisted that I go "bare-scar" until it healed. (He tried to claim it would heal faster in the open, but I know he was just enraptured by my oh so "fly" nose.)

Imagine my trauma when they finally took the stitches out and I was left with only a puffy red WC Fields nose.

-- Anonymous, January 25, 2000

When I was 21, I was in a minor bumper-car accident (I know, I know, you're totally coveting this James Bond lifestyle I'm leading) that gave me very minor whiplash.

The bad part, though, was when I woke up the next morning, looked in the mirror, and freaked right out when I saw that the entire white of each of my eyes had turned a solid blood red. I went to the emergency room, where a series of doctors and nurses said "Ewww!" at me and sent me home with nothing but the knowledge that all I'd done was broken some blood vessels. They also offered the reassurance that the colour would fade after a MONTH or so.

I spent the next month frightening small children in public places. I got so sick of the stares I received from people in grocery stores and malls and cinemas that I practically became a shut-in.

On the plus side, I had just started seeing a really nice guy who only laughed at me a little bit and was willing to spend a lot of time hanging out indoors. And now we've been married for almost eight years, so clearly my little test was a good one.

-- Anonymous, January 25, 2000

I waited for a bit to post this. I knew that all of you had to mentally prepare for my level of sexy. I'm surprised that no one else tried to flaunt this particular delight yet. Prepare the cold showers.

Folks, start your engines - in front of you stands THE GIRL WITH AMPLE EYEBROWS. That's right, my darlings. I'm the one who resembles Bert if she goes for more than one day without plucking (Bert, in my humble opinion, was always the sassiest Muppet on Sesame Street). Sometimes, I realize my yummy factor gets too high. Say I'm out with bronchitis, for instance. Three entire days may pass without attention to my brows. Upon my return to society, I often have to peel away the multitudes of men who fling themselves at me, wanting to capture the essence that is my eyebrow sexiness.

At that point, due to the fact that I can't walk down the street without being mauled, I succumb to the whims of my beautician and allow her to viciously rip the hairs off my face (she rips with such tenacity because she's jealous, you know). And if you think ample brow hair is attractive, you should see the red patchy marks left AFTER having all the hair ripped off! Not only does the skin discoloration stick around for a minimum of an hour, but typically my eyes will also water uncontrollably and become intensely squinty. Revere me for the goddess I am!

You want me. I know you want me. Rowr.

-- Anonymous, January 25, 2000

A tip: when you're head is congested, you can't breathe out of your nose and it's runny with watery flem, stick a kleenex up your nose and leave it there. A guy magnet. That's how I got my husband.

-- Anonymous, January 25, 2000

man, you KNOW you want me. uh-huh. the girl with the glasses and the hair so curly, that on windy days, she looks like a white diana ross. well, that or a sea plant.

did i mention the skin discoloration? whoo-hoo! baby be alllrriiight! you thought michael jackson was THE MAN, well, here's THE WOMAN! (unless you were confused with the rest of us.) yup- swimming or showering bring out the best in my lack of pigment from my tummy to my toes on the left (the SPECIAL) side of my magnificant bod. it's been known to bring men to tears.

bow down to me. STOP RUNNING AWAY! hey- you!

-- Anonymous, January 25, 2000

Men love my constant gas. It has the most mesmerizing odor you could ever think of. The best, it's like perfume. And the best thing is, it NEVER goes away. Man, don't you *love* the infamous "silent but deadly" ones, that one turns the men on!

-- Anonymous, January 25, 2000

One word.

Bunions.

People LOVE to kiss bunions, you know.

-- Anonymous, January 25, 2000

I hiccup exactly once per hour.

And I have a birthmark on one of my front teeth. How you can get a "birthmark" on something that grows in at age 7, I don't know, but that's what the good doctor said.

-- Anonymous, January 25, 2000

Oh, it's got to be my Polish Peasant Hair.

No, it doesn't grow on my head. Nope, I'm talking the ten long, black, bristly hairs that grow on my chin, baby. Those hairs drive the men wild. It's such a problem, I've got to keep on them constantly -- even the stubble has an incredible effect on a roomful of Y chromosomes. Add that to the Alice B. Toklas moustache, dyed a fetching Easter-chick yellow courtesy of Jolen, and you have one red-hot flaming mama of a sexy woman. Oo, baby.

-- Anonymous, January 26, 2000

i have this absolute babe magnet that is my delightfully cystic skin, ever-so-slightly greasy and littered with pores that small children could fall into. oh, and did i mention the tiny scrolls of peeling skin around my lips and nose from years of treatment with various peels, acids and paint removers? i know what you're thinking, OH BABY YES! POST PUBESCENT ACNE! but there's more. i have gorgeous keratitis all down my back, which isn't as sexily greasy as my face but feels a little like sandpaper.. and, what's more, it occasionally pops up into little aching cysts in convenient places, like where my bra strap sits. bad skin. keratitis. you know you want me.

http://www.chickpages.com/raverats/cornflakegirl2/index2.html

-- Anonymous, January 26, 2000

All right ladies, calm down. That's right it's me, the bobcat. Let me explain: in a 1986 survey, 85% of elementary school children said that what made a person cool was cool hair (Harper's Index). Well, I've got the coolest hair around.

Now anyone can have good hair on their head, but I've got what really counts- ear, nose and cheek hair (sounds like a type of specialist- oh and I'm funny, too). I'll try and be kind here E, but I'm guessing that yours is of the more common "inside" variety. I, however, have the much rarer and manlier "outside" ear and nose hair. That's right, on the tip of my nose and along the edge of my ears. Add the whiskers on the cheeks that are way too close to the eyes to shave, and you've got yourself one sexy little predatory cat.

Maybe you're doubting just how sexy this is. Then why would my girlfriend pluck me at least once a week? She just trying to keep the secret to herself and make me as unattractive as possible. It's the same as her picking out nice fashionable clothes that match so I'll look gay.

Of course, such a sexy cat wouldn't let himself be caught by an unsexy huntress. When my baby wants to turn me on she just lets me hold her hand so I can feel the big fat vein in her palm. Oh baby!

-- Anonymous, January 26, 2000

I've got a single strand of thick hair growing out of my back that I keep cutting off, but always returns after 3 days. If it were human, it would have started its own religion after only the first time. Talk about discrimination.

-- Anonymous, January 26, 2000

Men may not think too much of me until they see my hands closely for the first time. Then they are fascinated by the strange bumps on the knuckles of my right hands. What are these strangely conpelling "love-bumps"?, they ask. If only other girls could master my method of holding my pen, they too could entrance men with their calluses. I'm so sexy. They were all CRAP, but I'm damn sexy.

-- Anonymous, January 26, 2000

I have skin on my hands that is so far past the point of just being dry skin, that my special lady friend was scared of me and another friend asked if my gimp was teething. Suggested that maybe I get the little feller a bone or something so he didn't constantly chew on my hands. I am truely blessed and dead se

-- Anonymous, January 26, 2000

I'm just like E, minus the ear hair. (Damn, I'm not quite the stud, eh?)

BUT:

I have a burn scar on a knuckle from taking out a pizza out of the oven on a rather drunken night.

I dislocated my shoulder or something (perhaps football?) and every now and then, if it feels tight, I just flex and it pops.

Gee, almost perfect. Darn.

-- Anonymous, January 26, 2000

When my son was 5, he desperately wanted to be older so he could grow up to be the total babe magnet. He figured out that he needed to grow some body hair before he would be truly grown up; he began checking his arms daily to see if something would show up. Finally, he found the faintest of pale hair growing out of his forearm and pointed it out to me with glee. See, Daddy, now I'm older!

That's great, son, I said. Now (pointing) you just have to figure out how to get the hair to grow out of your ears, the outside of your nose, and on your back, and then you will truly be driving women wild with your hirsute manliness.

I'm not sure I actually used the words "hirsute manliness" to a 5 year old, but that's my story and I'm sticking with it.

Oh, I also get these eyebrow hairs that grow about an inch and a half long. They're not really obvious, because they're the ones in closest to the nose and lie along the length of the eyebrow, but if I really want to make my woman melt, I just grab those hairs and tug on them and show her the full extent of my hair-producing studliness. Ooh mama.

-- Anonymous, January 26, 2000

When I was young and didn't know any better, I thought it would be the height of coolness if I could really emohasize my bodily functions. I actually practiced blowing my nose until it sounded like a foghorn. And burping-I don't burp. I roar. And now that I am older and do know better, I just can't stop. It's my gift. It's my curse.

-- Anonymous, January 26, 2000

My voice---speaking voice, not singing, I sing like a frog in pain--- my voice is ten times better than how I look. In the kingdom of the blind, I'd be able to keep a harem, if I wanted to (I don't, actually), rather than trusting in the selective blindness of Barb.

Al of NOVA NOTES

-- Anonymous, January 26, 2000

the HUGE scar on the inside of my right wrist where a horse bit me... he also chewed the outside section and up my hand, but only the inside section makes me look like i tried to slice my wrist open with a cheese grater or carrot peeler. No one fucks with someone who's tried that!

-- Anonymous, January 26, 2000

Oh, how could I forget my mutant eyebrow hairs? I have one that grows out of the end of my right eyebrow. It's gotten to like an inch long before my husband's reached over and just given it a vicious yank, jealous man that he is. The other is a solitary hair that grows about an inch above the rest of my eyebrow and will also reach amazing lengths. Fortunately, it's nearly-invisible-blonde and is thus spared my husband's wrath. What is it with my right eye and weird hair/eyelash growth?

Hmmmm, there's also my ability to pop my collarbones. Yup, you heard right. Nothing else can send a man screaming like a third-grader who's just been kissed by a girl. I once sat in a doctor's office, popped my collarbone, and asked, "Is that normal?" He was so obviously excited by my feat that he had to beg, "Please, please don't DO that!"

Ahhh.... and my sensitivity to alcohol. I'm such a cheap date! Half a beer or just one shot, and I turn this amazing blotchy purple-red. Really, who can resist that just-boiled look? The seductive aspect of my appearance after drinking is so bad, I've had to stop drinking in public places for fear of a) men throwing themselves at me, and b) getting cut off or kicked out by the management after my first drink.

-- Anonymous, January 26, 2000

That would be the two black hairs that grow out of my chin. Jet Black and coarse as all hell. They grow long too. I pluck them as soon as they are long enough, but sometimes if I am stressed or busy I forget and it's nasty. NASTY.

And my feet. They stink. They stink bad. They could make you gag, I promise. I have started wearing socks and it has stopped for now. But just wait, summer is coming baby, and it's no sock time again, baby, yeah.

You know you want to lick my toes. You are swinging from my nasty swamp toes.

Hey Pamie, my mom has that same thing on her eye! But her doctor told her it was from stress. I am going to call her and tell her to go to a specialist.

And I loved "sassy trollop", can I use it?

-- Anonymous, January 26, 2000

I nearly forgot my sexy bald spots!!!! When my hair is down, I appear to have a normal head covered in average female hair. If I pull it up into a pony tail, however, you can see these weird patches of scalp where my hair started falling out in clumps in 1996. The hair never grew back in these places, so if I want to go in public and not get attacked by a mob of horny men, I have to either leave my hair down, or strategically arrange what hair I have over the bald spots. People used to ask me if I had been through chemo, because they didn't want to believe I could be so glamorous without some sort of outside assistance. Sorry girls, it's all natural. Don't hate me because I'm a bald-patched sexpot.

I have to give a shout out here for my best friend. She has this uber-sexy exposed nerve behind her ear. If someone touches it, she passes out. That's so HOT!!!!!

-- Anonymous, January 26, 2000

Oh, I am too sexy. We should all form a sexy club to promote our innate sexiness.

I have this wonderful chin whisker. It's red, and likes to grow along my jaw line in such a place that I can feel it, but can't see it in a mirror. So, if I'm not running my finger along my jawline daily, this sucker can grow to like an inch long in 24 hours. And I don't know it's there! It has to be long for me to pluck, so I can see enough of it to grasp it with a tweezers. I'm too sexy to ask anyone to help.

Then there is the cool little white whisker that likes to grow out of one side of my upper lip area. It really is cool. It grows, then it splits in two, curling up. And it keeps splitting. Like split ends. No, it's not long, maybe 2 millimeters, and it's so thin it's practically clear, but it's my hidden secret.

Of course, who can forget the scar at the corner of my lips. A little love scratch from the kitty when the vacuum scared him. After 7 stiches and a promise I wouldn't scar, I was lucky enough to get this cool scar anyway. And the best part? These little hairs grow around it. They're like the normal hair on my face except they grow in cool directions. Men see those and they can't stay away.

Plus, there's my biggest secret, the one I like to keep hidden. Hey, a girl's gotta be careful when she's living alone. I've got sexy, reddish black hairs growing around my navel. There's about eight of them and they're just baby soft. I can't reveal these to the men. I wouldn't be safe. Someday, I'll let a lucky guy see this gift. He won't be able to resist me.

-- Anonymous, January 26, 2000

Lisa E.! I swear sometimes you are my twin! I have bald spots too! Do you have swamp feet?

That thing about your friend is too funny, I almost peed.

-- Anonymous, January 26, 2000

How about a six foot four girl with stubble, ample razor burn, moles galore, allergies, a great big nose, zits, love handles, a big ole' Ric Ocasek adam's apple, no boobs, and prostate trouble? I'm not even really a girl! Yeah, I'm a big cross-dressin' freak... What could be more enticing than that? Admit it; I got ya all beat in the sexiness sweepstakes.

-- Anonymous, January 26, 2000

It's the scars, baby-cakes. The huge long one on the right hip and the three on the right knee from the motorcycle wreck and resultant surgery. The three holes in my neck and two in my chest from the Hickman catheter during the bone marrow transplant The one on the knuckle of my left middle finger from the time that gerbil bit me in fifth grade.Tattoos don't hold a candle to good scars.

Besides, you can lay there in bed afterwards and tell each other scar stories.

-- Anonymous, January 26, 2000

mis, I am so happy to have a Sister in Baldness! And I will admit, my go-go boots are starting to smell like they belong to a football player. Over the weekend I had kicked them off by the sofa, and as I laid there watching tv, I kept giving my husband dirty looks because I thought he was making weird smells. Imagine my joy when I realized I was actually being disgusted by my own foot odor! I won't even need to wear perfume the next time I wear the boots, I can just let people breathe in the aroma of my sweaty feet!

-- Anonymous, January 26, 2000

Ganglion cysts. On the back sides of my hands between the wrist and the index finger. Who wants normal hands? Not me. I want hands that look like I'm about to bud an extra finger out of the back of my hands, right above my wrists. The classic treatment for ganglion cysts: whack 'em with a book 'til they pop. I'm not kidding.

Of course I haven't. They're SEXY.

-- Anonymous, January 26, 2000

I've never broken my toes, yet several of them are all mangled and crooked... ooh, baby. Long toes, all twisted and wrong... I can't stand it.

Have we just crossed the line of how well we all need to know each other?

-- Anonymous, January 26, 2000

Women all melt when they take one look at the big toe on my right foot. It's been operated on when I was a kid, and now it looks like a space helmet. The nail is very thick and can't be cut with a regular clipper. Instead, it just breaks off when it grows too long.

-- Anonymous, January 27, 2000

Am I the only one who thinks we should all band together and form a traveling Circus O' Freaks? We could make a fortune!

-- Anonymous, January 27, 2000

I have THE sexiest feet in all the world. Oh yes i do!

All my toes look normal. All their nails look normal. How dull. Oh but wait! Look at that! On each of my pinky toes, i don't have what you would normally consider a nail - i have cat claws on those toes! Real, authentic-looking CAT CLAWS. Men line up daily outside my home in the hopes of touching and sucking those toes. Yeah baby.

-- Anonymous, January 27, 2000

I have overactive sweat glands. I sweat like a pig even if it's like 50 below. My armpits are constantly wet. All of my shirts have big yellow sweat stains under the arms. I am just the sweatiest.. err, sexiest thing that ever walked the planet!! Guys just dig me. They also like it when they can stand ten feet away from me and feel the massive heat energy radiating from my sweating armpits. I know you want me. :P

-- Anonymous, January 27, 2000

Thick ankles... gotta' love 'em. Men can't resist the puffy fullness of my ankles, the way my leg is one sexy thickness from my calf to my foot. No curving for me, baby. It's all about columns.

Scars on my stomach from two surgeries when I was a baby. I finally wore a two-piece bathing suit in public when I was in college, and only then did I realize the incredible effect that the horizontal, white slash across my stomach would have on men... "EW! What happened?!" Come on, you know you want to touch it...

And my hips... They make the most lilting, lovely, loud POP every time I sit indian-style or some similar twist of my legs. You can imagine what men think during sex when they hear, "Oh baby... POP POP" Don't flatter yourself, honey, it's just my hips. But they want more. Oh yeah, they want more.

-- Anonymous, January 28, 2000

Let me tell you, that one hair that grows out of the side of my chin makes me just the sexiest thing you ever saw.. stand back folks, I'm a love machine.. it's not all fine and blonde either.. it's coarse like yak hair and a nice dark brown... mmmm.. yak hair love..

where are my tweezers?

-- Anonymous, January 28, 2000

Have a baby, it opens up a whole new world of "sex-pot-spots".

Including, but not limited to:

Big, saggy, breast milk boobies

Weird stretch marks on your stretched all to fuck tummy

A bigger ass than you had previously

Skin tags (you don't want to know)

My husband is ALL sexed up over me and my skin tags, mine, mine mine....

-- Anonymous, January 28, 2000

Skin tags? Come on, you can't say something like that and follow it up with "You don't want to know". Have you read some of these other entries? Speaking as someone who wants to have kids some day, I'd like to know the risks involved. Could you at least point out a site that explains this (incredibly sexy and irresistable) phenomenon?

-- Anonymous, January 28, 2000

Ellin -- I have all those things (including the skin tags), and I haven't even had a baby! My FATHER has all those things and he hasn't had a baby! I never realized what a hot, sexy gene pool I come from.

twq -- skin tags are bumps on your skin. If you're really lucky, like me, your hot, elderly dermatologist will burn them off with an electric needle -- talk about foreplay, baby!

Also, I once had a close friend tell me that my ass was so big and flat (yes, flat) that you could land airplanes on it! Hold on, boys, no fighting! There's plenty of my big, flat ass for everyone to enjoy!

-- Anonymous, January 28, 2000

Skin tags? Katrina, I'm glad you explained them, because I was getting weird images of people with perforated tags that said, "To be removed only by consumer, under penalty of law."

-- Anonymous, January 29, 2000

my scintillating smile only marred slightly by loose lips. the hairy nose and ears really draw the wild women in.

-- Anonymous, January 29, 2000

I have the ugliest toes you have ever seen. Lumpy, tiny-nailed, miniature baby mouse toes. I am convinced that they radiate their ugliness from beneath my boots and are the reason the freaks flock from near and wide and follow me down the street like I was the Pied Piper of All Damaged People Everywhere.

-- Anonymous, January 30, 2000

Ooops, forgot the feet. When I was a kid, I ALWAYS walked on my toes... thus... my achilles tendon shortened, and my feet SPREAD. So I have these great flat pads for the front of my feet. It looks sort of like bunions, but on both sides. My toes all point inwards towards each other.

The foot shape is great for stability, not so hot for buying normal shoes. Let's hear it for extra-wide Doc Marti

-- Anonymous, January 30, 2000

I can snap my hips and shoulders out of their sockets and back again with no trouble at all.

-- Anonymous, January 30, 2000

Well, I can join the ranks of those sexy stretch-mark babes. Thank heavens for puberty and the accompanying sudden onset of hips in a skin that just wasn't made to move that quickly!

But more specifically unto me, I have the magic elf toes. That's right. No boy can resist my uber-sexy toes that curve in and up, so as to fit perfectly into that pinnacle of vixen fashion -- the elf shoe.

And on those toes, oh yes, I have a little sprinkling of hair! Nothing says lovin' like a little hair in your toe-sucking. Indeed.

I have one more, but this one actually /does/ seem to work. I have a strawberry birthmark exactly the size and shape of a quarter on my right cheek, by the back of my jawbone. For some reason, the same boys who teased me mercilessly in grade school now find it to be oh-so-unique and sexy.

Straaaaaange.

-- Anonymous, January 31, 2000

I WANNA SEE PAMIE"S EYE-puSS!!

-- Anonymous, January 31, 2000

My morning hair is so glorious that many a man has had to avert his eyes from the sheer ecstasy of it all. See, the beauty is in the transformation. When I go to bed, my hair is shiny and straight. But come morning, it's like the porno librarian turned sexpot. The back of my hair somehow swirls and sticks up in a perfect nest replica. Some pieces are ratted out (we're talking Flock of Seagulls HOT) while other pieces stick down to my forehead and neck with some kind of sweat-oil combination. One ex was so enamored of my hair that he HAD to reach out and touch it (some things are just so sexy that lust triumphs over reason). His ring got stuck to a particularly stunning knot and we had to cut it out. I'm sure he treasures that piece of knotted, greasy, sexed-up hair to this day.

-- Anonymous, January 31, 2000

now how is it no one has mentioned warts yet in all this. i cant possible be the only one here. i have some great big ones strategically placed all over my body, but my new fave is the one on the corner of my mouth. talk about sexy hoo boy. that and the skin tag on my eyelid. i must stay indoors for fear of inciting riots.

-- Anonymous, February 02, 2000

stretch marks? if there is any one out there with out stretch marks YOU ARE A FREAK! stretch marks are only average sexy, not exceptional sexy. i've got your warts and your "skin tabs". the warts come and go so frequently, they are really not worth mentioning, but i will. i like cats, sometimes they don't like me, and just about every time i get a kitty scratch (more often then a vet) a new lil' wart pops up in the wound. my dermo dosen't even charge me for removal any more. and the tab...my doctor tried to remove it, tool in hand before he even asked about it. obviously he felt the need to remove my sexy sexy tab of alluring sex flesh in fear of breaking some kind of ethics code. but this is just a peak at what really makes me the sexy goddess i am.

-- Anonymous, February 05, 2000

most people dig a nice, firm, round ass, right? well, i can go one better. i have perhaps the most anti-ass in the world. flat as a board. there ain't no differentiation between my back and the tops of my legs. nope, just a flat-damn-ass. i sometimes doubt that i have a crack....just the beginnings of my legs. not many people's levi's sag in the back, but mine do. you wanna talk *HOT*....

-- Anonymous, February 07, 2000

Not only do I have the longest name (37 letters, a hyphen, a star, a middle name, second middle name (two shorties) a confirmation name, and a hyphenated last name), but i have a square face...like blockhead square. Stretch marks? Oh yeah.>Skin tags? Uh-huh..ooh! and how about this...i can't use secret ultra platinum deodorant because my skin breaks out--but i can't use the all-natural kind, because then i get big @ss sweat stains on all my clothes... Oh! i have the lbs...the nasty brown hair...that when I want it to be curly- is stick straight and vice versa... It's often wavy/frizzy, but never cool curls... I used to be a blondie (natural), but then i "overcame"...ooh yeah! eMptY sHallOw LiVEs

-- Anonymous, February 25, 2000