My husband was cutting brush on the north forty while I hauled gravel to the driveway on the south side of the place. I saw lightning to the north and yelled that WE had better get into the house. My husband hollered the storm was a long way off and he wasn't coming in. I yelled to him that I would give him a quickie if he would come in the house...no pun intended...and he hollered to come and get him...no pun intended. The neighbor across the road shut her windows during this exchange, and it wasn't even raining yet.

Well, I had to go down there and get him...no pun intended. When I got there, he was hiding in some trees. He wanted me to catch him. Then he wanted me to praise his brushcutting efforts. He pointed to the north, where he'd been working. He suddenly said, "Look! That's a WALL CLOUD!" And not only was the north sky totally black and dropping down on us at several miles an hour, but the sky west of that was pure turquoise. Scary...

He beat me to the house. He grabbed guns. I grabbed important papers. The kids saw where our priorities lay and beat us to the hidey hole on their own. One had no shoes, two had no socks. I went back into the house with a tornadic storm bearing down on us to look for shoes and rummaged through sock drawers looking for a matched pair in case the house was blown away and the teevee crews came out. I got back to crying kids...not crying because mommy was out in the storm, but because I wasn't bringing all their toys with me.

My husband, thoughtful fellow, had grabbed a couple of cold beers, which reminded me that we should probably keep some cans of pop down there for the kids. Books would have been nice too. Maybe some throw pillows, a vase...

House was fine after it was all over.

-- anon (afr@idto.say), March 26, 2000

Answers

See, now why doesn't anything exciting like that ever happen around here?? The one and only time we had a tornado warning, were we in a hidey hole?...NO..we were standing outside looking up...my children and I, jumping up and down like terriers with the anticipation of a real honest to God twister! And nuttin...not even a little dust ball. :-(

I would add to your hidey hole a video tape of the interior of your house, with all the tvs, computers, stereo equip, etc,... insurance companies love that, I hear!

-- kritter (kritter@adelphia.net), March 27, 2000.

Me thinks anon doth stretch credulity here.

THAT many puns are NEVER unintentional.

*I* know.

-- Greybear (greybear@home.com), April 02, 2000.