The good, the bad and the ugly. What do you wish you never heard, and what do you hope to never forget? What do you want to hear someday?

-- Anonymous, March 27, 2000

Answers

i wish i never heard, from my father, of all people:

1. just b/c you like something doesn't mean you're good at it.

2. all kids disappoint their parents. it's part of life.

something that i will always remember, from someone i'd like to forget:

- you've got a fire in your belly and make an impression on people. you're impossible to forget.

oh, and pamie? YOU ROCK.

-- Anonymous, March 27, 2000

Things I wish that I had never said:

Me: It's not that I don't like you, its just... you know when you have meatloaf for dinner everynight...

Her: I'm meatloaf?

Me: Basically

Another thing I wish I had not said:

Her: Do I look okay?

Me: In terms of what?

For those that I said these things to- I'm sorry

-- Anonymous, March 27, 2000

Things I wish I'd said before I read today's entry so it wouldn't sound like I was just saying it to be nice:

That Get Real recap was hilarious. One of your best. I didn't do an entry this morning because I was so caught up in reading your recap. Forgive me for saying this, but I hope they never cancel the show, so I can keep reading the recaps.

Things I wish my dad hadn't said:

"You are a divorce waiting to happen. You've got 'ex wife' written all over you."

"You're going to be just like your cousin Debbie -- two ax handles across the ass."

"It's too late for you to have babies. You're thirty years old. Your bones are brittle."

Things I wish various boys hadn't said:

"You know what I like about you? You're such a good sport. We can just, like, have sex and stuff, and you don't get everything all complicated with emotions and all that."

"I've always dated good looking girls in the past, but it's kind of nice to date someone like you who's not good looking, but you've got a really great personality."

"You're never going to be any good in bed, because you have to start when you're like fourteen or else you just lose it. You started too late."

"Suck in that stomach, girl."

After that, I can't think of any of the good ones. Let me get back to you.

-- Anonymous, March 27, 2000

Things I wish I never heard from my mother. 1. You're f**king fat!!!

2. Do you want your husband to leave you because your're so f**king fat?

3. I say these things because I love you.

Things I wish I never heard from my sister. 1. I've been raped.

2. I have an eating disorder.

Things I wish I never heard from my mother-in-law. 1. You're going to burn in hell, you, you, non-catholic!!!

2. You're going to take my son with you!

3. You look stupid in that outfit.

4. Your house smells like cat.

Things I am happy to have heard from my dad. 1. I'm here.

2. I'm proud of you.

3. Whoah, nice side kick!

4. God bless you and Bill.

Things I was happy to hear from my husband. 1. Will you marry me?

2. I am incomplete without you.

3. My life began when I met you.

-- Anonymous, March 27, 2000

GIRL: "I was going to ask you to be the Maid of Honor in my wedding, but I knew you couldn't afford the dress."

SAME GIRL: "I know people say I'm too skinny, but I'd rather weigh 95 pounds than have an ass as big as yours."

SAME GIRL: "I'm glad my boobs aren't big like yours, because even if you wear preppy clothes, your cleavage always makes you look a little like a hooker. I mean, I know you don't look that way on purpose, you just can't help it with those big boobs."

SWEETEST BOY IN THE WORLD: "As soon as I saw this picture of you, I fell in love with your face. That's why I applied for the job here, so I could meet you and see if we might hit it off." (That remains, and will probably always remain, the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me.)

ANOTHER BOY: "Look, are you going to have sex with me or not? Because if you're not, then I'd rather go out with Tonya."

ANOTHER BOY: "Why do you say such dumb stuff?"

ANOTHER BOY: "I stole your class schedule from the office at the beginning of the year and managed to get 3 of my classes switched to be with you. It took me two months to work up the nerve to call you like this."

ME, TO THE STALKER SCHEDULE-STEALING BOY: "And where do you sit again? I can't picture who you are exactly." (Still feeling bad about that one, but I really didn't mean it the way it sounded. I honestly had no idea who he was.)

GIRL: "You need to get your hair cut, I can see split ends."

MOM: "It's time for you to color your hair, I can see some grey trying to peek out."

-- Anonymous, March 27, 2000

What I hope to never forget: My husband, saying his vows. What I hope to hear someday: "Its a girl. No wait, it is two girls. TWINS!"

Not the worst thing anyone ever said to me, but def. one of the stupidest: "Kristin, there are two kinds of people in this world...people who follow their dreams, and people who exist only to enable others to follow my dreams. You are here to help me follow my dreams. You are absolutely the 'woman behind the throne' type."

Oh, I DONT think so.

-- Anonymous, March 27, 2000

I wish I never heard......

Mother in-law:

"You know, if Steve died, I mean you would miss him because you live together and see him everyday, but it wouldn't be like what I would feel, I mean I am his mother and he is my son and part of him will live with me forever. You're just his wife....."

-- Anonymous, March 27, 2000

First of all, I would like to say that calling someone "squatty" is totally unforgivable. Pamie, send me her address and I'll go commit some serious damage on her ass.

With that administrative notice out of the way:

Things I Regret I Said

ME
Keith, I'm not sure I really want this to be all serious right now, because I'm only 18 and I'm just not sure.

KEITH
OK.

[Keith takes me seriously, starts dating other people, breaks my heart, and much tragedy ensues until we get back together two years later.]

Things I Wish I'd Never Heard

JOHN
[after sex] So is there anything you can do about your acne?

MY DAD
OK, maybe you have a little talent at playing the flute but it's not like you're going to be able to make a living at it, especially not at some stuck-up college where only rich kids are successful.

MORE OF MY DAD
I'm having a midlife crisis, so sorry, but I can't pay for your college like I said I was going to.

MORE OF JOHN
Wow, did you lose weight?

ME
Not that I know of.

JOHN
Oh. Well, nevermind, I thought you were looking better but I guess not.

UNNAMED GUY
Gee, I don't really know why I'm breaking up with you for her. I mean, you're pretty alike. Except that she's way more attractive than you, but I'm not sure how much that has to do with anything.

And now the good stuff.

KEITH
I love you, I want to be with you, and I only need you.

MOM
I always knew that you'd go places in your life, and now look at you! You've really done something with your life.

DAD
[nothing]

MULTIPLE FRIENDS
Wow! We love your new hair color!

KEITH
You look totally hot in that dress.

It's tough being a superstar.

-- Anonymous, March 27, 2000

Something I heard myself say today that I thought I'd NEVER hear... "I think I'm actually done my thesis. Man, do I ever need to get really drunk."

-- Anonymous, March 27, 2000

BOY. I've always loved you. I think before I knew you. The idea of you. And then you were real.

Oh, Pamie. My boy said that to me, too... well, extremely similar. Slightly different words, same exact idea. That is cool. Damn, I miss him.

Most of the stuff I wish I'd never heard were things the little voices in my head told me, but there are some things actually vocalized by people I know that would've been better off not entering conscious reality.

Dad: "I have cancer."

Evil 5th grade teacher: "What's wrong with you?!"

Stupid high school counselor: "I'm sorry, but Washington State History is reserved for upperclassmen." [This was a lie, and because of it, although I could have easily fit this wretched graduation requirement into my schedule three years ago, I have to take the much more difficult correspondence course through the community college-- grades and transcripts of which go on my record and affect my gpa at my future university!-- in the last half of my senior year.]

Asshole ex-boyfriend: "I know you never expected to hear from me again, but..."

I'm glad I heard anytime someone told me I was beautiful, intelligent, funny, had mad writing/graphics/other skillz, etc. I don't remember many exact quotes.

I regret telling one boy I crushed over, "You talk too quietly to be a teacher," only to notice that he does, indeed, have a rather loud voice when need be. I've said a lot of much stupider, probably more harmful things, too... but I can't remember them now. I don't need to smack myself in the head for things I said five years ago just now. That's counterproductive. *nods convincingly*

And to second what someone said earlier: Pamie, you rock.

-- Anonymous, March 27, 2000

Good... BOY: "I wrote all of my songs about you, and then I met you." BOY: (post-orgasm) "You're gonna kill me that way, sweet girl, one of these times" Bad... MOM: "But I can get rid of your foster sister, I couldn't get rid of you." BEST FRIEND'S MOM: "I think you look under slimy, disease-infested rocks for your boyfriends."

-- Anonymous, March 27, 2000

This was actually said to my friend by her mother:

"You have good child-bearing hips."

-- Anonymous, March 27, 2000

Good: When you walk into the room everyone looks to see who the personality is ~ Every time I hear you sing opera I want to be you (from an 8 year old)

Bad: Mom - I didn't want to worry you, so I'm going to the hospital to have a little bit of cancer removed from my breast. I've known for 2 weeks.

Ugly: (Talking about breasts) You must get those from your fathers side of the family, no one on my side was ever that big.

-- Anonymous, March 27, 2000

GOOD GIRL Oh my God. That was amazing! What are trying to do to me? BAD GIRL It's OK. Really. Don't worry about it. I'm kind of tired anyway. It happens to everyone. SADDEST DAD I hate the theater. It took my children away from me. HOPEFULLY DAD Sorry about what I said before. I'm so proud of you. No matter what you do. I'm proud of you. HAPPIEST GIRL I love you. You make me so happy. MOST AWKWARD GIRL I love you. You make me so happy. MOST SCRUTINIZED (thing ever said to me) GIRL I love you. You make me so happy. MOST TERRIFYING GIRL I love you. You make me so happy.

-- Anonymous, March 27, 2000

I manage to ignore the bad and the ugly. I've had it said to me in the past but at the moment I can't particularly remember any of it. One of the nicest things anyone ever said to me was said about eight years ago by someone we liked very much who died two years ago (I dedicated my BA Hons. thesis to him two months before he died), and he said that I seemed like an intelligent kid with my head screwed on straight. Some people might say he didn't know me very wellthat was actually the night that I met him for the first timebut I've always thought that was one of the nicest things anyone ever said about me.

Tonight We Sleep In Separate Ditcheswhat I'd like to hear: how much people love this journal of mine

-- Anonymous, March 27, 2000

Good:
BOY: "Last night I was feeling utterly hopeless and in despair. Nothing seemed to make sense. So I turned off all the lights in my house, turned off my stereo, got some candles and sat there reading Retrogression from cover to cover until the sun came up."

EX-GIRL (during random hookup): We always were good together.

Bad:
"I usually end up having sex with my friends, but I'm really glad we're not like that."

Ugly:
"You're a completely misogynist bastard and it's not worth my time to ever talk to you again."



-- Anonymous, March 28, 2000

I had a dream one night that I was dressed up in drag for a party; I mentioned this to my girlfriend at the time, and she said, "You'd make an ugly woman."

Not sure whether that's good or bad.

-- Anonymous, March 28, 2000

First the bad stuff. From my first love: I love you, but i'm not "In Love" with you...can't we just be friends? From an ex: I think you're a complete and utter asshole for having an opinion that differs from mine... From my brother: I don't know if you have no emotions, or you're just tough as nails. There's also some good stuff. From my mother: I know you'll succeed at whatever you want to do. From my father: I'm very proud of you and always have been. From anyone that says it: I love you such things should not be forgotton. Pamie you rock.

-- Anonymous, March 28, 2000

GOOD: "You are the funniest person when you are drunk, you always crack me up." BAD THAT I WANT TO FORGET: "I'm your mother, I have to love you, but I don't have to like you." (That's all better now.) "(Your best friend since the 5th grade) died" THE NORM: "You're alot shorter/more of a loudmouth/weirder than I thought you would be when I first met/saw/talked to you." "You look like a gremlin when you smile-- in a good way." BEST AND SCARIEST: "I love you" "Will you marry me"

Pamie, words cannot describe how fucking cool you are. I read the bug story, cracked me up. Maybe the 'sharks' will eat the bugs? Jenn

-- Anonymous, March 28, 2000

i wish i had never heard this:

(after i told my mom i wanted to go to college)

mom: well, how are you going to pay for it? you won't get a job. i'm certainly not going to pay for it. you're 18 now, i don't owe you anything.

-- Anonymous, March 28, 2000

Hm let's see, for a bad one, a guy I was seeing was grossly insulted by something I said to him totally not intending to be insulting, and the way he phrased his not wanting to be with me at the time was "You lost." Whatever. He magically wanted me to stay with him the next day when I dumped him :P

Okay don't like to dwell on the negative, now onto some good ones. The other day my best friend called me his "beautiful angel" awwwwwwwwwww :) When I was in "The Miracle Worker" my director said I had a gentle soul, I thought that was so cool. Another one, when I was taking a scene study class from a friend of mine who graduated from Juilliard about 20 years ago ... I'd always felt like I was doing okay in the class but not that great, always getting "work on this, work on that" notes (yeah it was a class of course I'm gonna get notes like that but ya know) ... anyway, I'd just done a scene that I loved and my acting teacher came up to me as I was leaving and said something simple like "Good work tonight" totally made my evening.

Okay now for a few stupid things I get on a fairly regular basis. All right I'm 19 years old and 5'1, 99 lbs., and people feel completely compelled to say stuff like "Wow, you're really short" or, like the other day when I was tutouring at a damn elementary school, and I was walking through the hall and this teacher's like "Who do you belong to?" I said "I'm a tutour for Mrs. So-and-so's class" She's like "A tutour?! (Then, to no one in particular) She looks about 12!" Ever heard of inner monologue? Geez loweez.

-- Anonymous, March 28, 2000

Did someone mentioned child bearing hips?
8th GRADE HEALTH/SEX ED TEACHER(in front of the whole class):"Cricket, you have good, wide hips for child bearing."

Oh yeah. I wish I'd never heard that one.

-- Anonymous, March 28, 2000

Worst things: Randy -- "Do you know how awesome your body would be if you were 6 inches taller?"

Hubby this morning -- "They want me to cut down the injections because my levels are too high -- I'd rather die"

Best:

Hubby on Valentines "my love for you is beyond words and forever-- which is how long I have loved you and will love you."

-- Anonymous, March 28, 2000

Wish I'd never heard:

"You're too Noel Coward. Even Noel Coward knew he couldn't be Noel Coward all of the time."

That still hurts like, oww, I don't know. Bad.

-- Anonymous, March 29, 2000

Things I wish I'd never heard my mom say:

when I was 12...

"Why didn't you get my petite genes?"

when I was 16...

"You really shouldn't eat all those chips, dear....you have cheerleading camp in a few weeks....you don't want to be the fat one"

two weeks ago afer finding out that another one of my cousins is getting married...

"Krista is marrying that Walker boy....she's 2 years younger than you, too. You're not getting any younger."

Things I love hearing my dad say:

To my mother when she's being...well....my mother....

"Leave the girl alone, Catherine. She's a beautiful girl"

thanks, Daddy!!!!

Things I wish I'd never heard guys says:

Jeff...a boyfriend from high school talking to one of his friends...

"Alexis is givin' it up tonight."

needless to say, I didn't.....to him....ever.

Brad...my first college boyfriend...

"But I only fucked her because I was mad at you. I love you."

Brad....3 years after the incident above....I saw him at a Nixons concert...

"Wow, Alexis, you look great. I've missed you. Becki and I are getting a divorce...can I call you?"

can I pick winners or what?

-- Anonymous, March 30, 2000

The BAD;

Mother: "When you get older you're either going to become a barrister because you argue so much, a pre-school teacher or commit suicide" [?!?!?!?!?!?]

4th Grade teacher: "Okay everyone now lets try drawing lips. [draws on board] wow! they turned out really thin didn't they? They look like Megans lips don't they class?"

Long -Term Boyfriend (now ex-boyfriend): I don't want to sleep with you in case I decide I don't want to be with you anymore.

The GOOD

Dad: You can do whatever you put your mind too. You are an extremely intelligent and beautiful person.

-- Anonymous, March 30, 2000

Bad:

Father: You're the worst thing I ever made.

Father again: This is my house and you don't belong here. Get out.

And again: Go commit suicide, you useless fuckwit.

Cheery!

The good:

Mother: I really do love you.

The Very Good:

Beautiful Boy: I love you.

And again: will you be my wife?

And again: so many other things that I can't put them all here. =]

-- Anonymous, March 31, 2000

I can't believe I heard this coming out of my own mouth: "Mormons aren't Christians. They're just a creepy cult. What... you're a morman? Oh Fuck--I mean... sorry."

Moral of the story: A closed mouth gathers no foot.

I've been totally touched by the things people have been writing in the "never want to forget" catagory. They're such simple things, it's very beautiful. (sniff-sniff!) Next time I think of something nice to say I'm just gonna let it pop out, because it might mean a helluva lot to someone later.

--Alayne

-- Anonymous, March 31, 2000

***Next time I think of something nice to say I'm just gonna let it pop out, because it might mean a helluva lot to someone later.***

Alayne I know what you mean, I've been trying to work on this myself. For some reason I find myself having a bizarre difficulty with giving people compliments. I've gotten a lot better about it but I don't know I feel like I sound unnatural or something maybe. But, like I said, getting better about it. Simple things can mean so much, like one day a friend of mine sent me an e-card that said just like 'thanks for being you, have a great day' and it put the biggest smile on my face just to know I was being thought of and it wasn't even a "special occasion." So I started sending cards out every now and then just to surprise people, knowing how good it had made me feel :)

-- Anonymous, April 01, 2000

after getting all of my hair cut off (from my waist to a buzz) the GOOD (dad's co-worker): wow. no one would have known you were so stunning with all that hair in the way. the BAD (teacher): oh no! what happened! are you o.k.? is this why you were absent? the UGLY (mom): she didn't say it, but cried it, i didn't understand what she was saying, but she was not happy. years later GOOD(mom): i was looking thru your old high school photos... i am glad you cut off "all of that hair" (a very common phrase now), it took so much away from you UGLY again(stranger):are you a lezbian?, i am not trying to hit on you, i just wanted to know, 'cause i've never met a lezbian.

GOOD dad:...whatever makes you happy,...if you want to be a crack whore, just be the best crack whore out there...

various UGLIES, but more, just inacurate family and friends: you are the most well adjusted person in the world. IN TRUTH: those who really know me , well... they know me. dearest person in the world to me: it is hard to believe that some one like you, would want to be with some one like me.

GOOD (long time family friend, with tear in his eye):you look just like your mother, and just as beautiful.

-- Anonymous, April 01, 2000