Are you miserable and listen to pop music or has pop music made you miserable?

Do you feel you have an impossible view of the world because of how you idealized love and life when you were younger?

Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got some black eyeliner and lipstick I need to put on before I play the new Cure album.

-- Anonymous, April 07, 2000

Answers

I know that any time I hear Sarah McLaughlin I remember my first boyfriend in college, and the ensuing 3 years that followed. He turned me on to her music, and I learned all of the lyrics by sleeping next to him every night with that music playing in the background. Each song has some meaning to me, from remembering silly things like watching him sleep (Possession - Piano version), to road trips (all of the albums). I am apt to start crying if I am in a sad mood and I hear one of her songs. It's really weird to have something that seemed so unimportant at the time turn out to be one of the things that causes you to remember the most.

-- Anonymous, April 07, 2000

Anything by U2 makes me think of my years in Germany when that was all I listened to. The last two years has had a lot of Radiohead to it and those songs, despite their moodiness, always make me happy and hopeful.

Don't EVER listen to Chris Isaak when you're going through a breakup. It just makes you sad and pathetic and sorry for yourself. Just don't do it.

Oh, incidentally Pamie, I always think of you when I hear Garbage's "When I Grow Up." Probabably because it was the music from your one- woman show, but also because it's just a damn cool song.

-- Anonymous, April 07, 2000

I think of you when I hear that song "The Freshman" because of how much you laughed at "that we could die for thirty cents".

But, yes, pop music ruins your life. Unfortunately, our personal pain doesn't come with beautiful melodies. I wish Elvis Costello could follow me around a sing my daily activities. "Why? Why don't I have an extra nickle for a diet coke?" Something like that.

-- Anonymous, April 07, 2000

I've always thought of the music I listen to as a soundtrack for my life.

For instance - in the scene where I dump my boyfriend - "Solitary Man" by Chris Isaak. This might actually be used to better advantage and with more thematic consistency in the scene where my boyfriend dumps me but...you know...it's my soundtrack.

For the scene where I ponder the existential implications of never finding my perfect mate - "Waiting for a Superman" by the Flaming Lips

To complement the obligatory scene in which I drive down a deserted highway trying to escape the demons of past relationships (even though I live in the city, don't drive and can count on one hand the number of times I've actually been on a deserted highway) "Over You" by the Silos.

For the scene in which my ex-boyfriend curses me to hell "Glittering Girl" by the Who

And just to clarify that my life is not consumed by the random cruelties of the heart - "Possum Kingdom" by the Toadies

Also - "Silver Wings" by Merle Haggard,"What Goes On" by the Velvet Underground, "Things" by Paul Westerberg, "Heaven on Their Minds" from Jesus Christ Superstar, "Do You Love Me" by Kiss, "Night and Day" the Frank Sinatra version, "A Little Bit Me a Little Bit You" by the Monkees, "Up the Hill Backwards" by David Bowie

Um, I could go on and on. I like music.

And to answer the actual question - I think our world view may be shaped by the music we listen to when we're young, but I have found that generally I will find a song to suit my mood - not vice versa. And the older I get the more I can listen to a song and have a sense of nostalgia for the feeling it evokes, without believing it is in any way relevant to my reality.

-- Anonymous, April 07, 2000

Personally, I like to blame Debbie Gibson for all my problems. I was completely obsessed with her in the seventh grade, and she just put out this completely unattainable image of the perfect teenager - all shiny and happy. I (stupidly) thought that everything was going to be just like she said in her songs. Luckily, I outgrew her by the eighth grade, but I swear some of those lyrics haunt me to this day. Electric Youth, my ass.

That's probably why the scene in Welcome to the Dollhouse where Dawn is listening to "Lost in your Eyes" with Brandon in her clubhouse makes me want to burst out laughing and cry at the same time.

-- Anonymous, April 07, 2000

Pop music comes pretty close to running my life. I have a CD or song for every mood, road trip,significant event, and year of my life. I bring them out to energize and remember and forget and smile and cry.

Live's "Throwing Copper" and No Doubt? Freshman year of college. Simon & Garfunkel's "The Boxer"? Sensitive side of hot hookup guy. The Beasties' "Sure Shot"? Every good party I've ever been to. Bon Jovi's "I'll Be There for You"? Very last song played at junior high dances, dancing my-hands-on-his-shoulders-and-his-on-my-hips. Bryan Adams' "Summer of 69"? Halcyon summers at our cottage in Maine. Elvis's "Kentucky Rain"? Something vague and warming from childhood. Garbage Ver 2.0? Being with my boyfriend in Times Square in winter. Boston's "More Than a Feeling"? Going on a roller coaster for the first time in high school, on a double date with a cute boy. The Police's "Roxanne"? Drunk and smoking on my friend's rooftop in Boston, thinking about how profound and free we were in our youth.

Ahhh... I could go on and on... Fleetwood Mac, New Kids on the Block, Zeppelin, Nirvana, the Beatles, Jim Croce, REO Speedwagon, Letters to Cleo... I'm verklempt... how can pop music NOT run your life?

-- Anonymous, April 07, 2000

yeah, I can say a lot of songs bring up memories about past events and how can I not think about them when I hear these songs?

like 'turn my head'-live [me and my ex best friend teri would listen to this while going on drives..especially when she was sad and I'd have to comfort her], 'with or without you'-u2 [again, we listened to this while on the road..she had made a mixtape with this song on it more than once], 'wild horses' -the sundays [the song she made me like by playing it over and over again], 'cupid'-112 [okay, internet boyfriend theme].

I could go on and on and on!!! but yes, if there was no music I don't know what my life would be like or if I'd remember these small memories. the music makes it come alive.

-- Anonymous, April 07, 2000

Well, it's come pretty close. It's "ruined" bands for me. Songs I can barely listen to anymore inclue:

"Jane Says" - reminds me of losing my virginity (Note: that movie Love Potion No. 9 is also ruined because it was on HBO at the same time). No, it was not a pleasant experience. Awful, actually

"Brick" by Ben Folds Five - an awful New Year's Eve when a boy was breaking up with me.

Any and all Phish - an awful relationship

Hmm... I notice a pattern here. Boys and Pop don't mix everyone.

-- Anonymous, April 07, 2000

Let's just say that I hate the Backstreet Boys.

Somehow I know the lyrics to all of their songs.

-- Anonymous, April 07, 2000

You know, some songs have been ruined but there are some that, when I hear them, remind me of certain people and events so strongly that it can almost make me cry with nostalgia.

Whenever I hear ~~I'll stop the world and melt with you~~ I have to smile because, my first boyfriend thought he was so cool making that "our song." So romantic. And, even at 15, though I appreciated the sentiment, I knew how silly and "teenager" that was. But I loved him for it - and it makes me smile to remember how much I felt that he loved me.

One of my dearest friends in high school loved the band Poison. She suffered endless hassle from everyone for it but, would not budge on her devotion to them. Every time I hear one of their songs (which, thankfully, is rare) I laugh out loud.

Another good one: Do y'all remember that INXS song from the movie "The Lost Boys"? I think the name of it is "Good Time." That song - I am telling you - it puts me right back in my first car, driving up and down highway 31 in Birmingham, feeling so COOL.

-- Anonymous, April 07, 2000

Music has not ruined my life.

Movies have ruined my life.

And Jane Austen didn't help, either. Damn her. Don't even ask what Margaret Mitchell did to my high school years, it isn't pretty.

-- Anonymous, April 07, 2000

Sometimes I get angry that my life has destroyed pop music.

In high school, it was never Nirvana's "Something in the Way"

It was: "Something in my Jays" (thanks Mike & Chuck where ever you are)

In college it was never Pearl Jam's, "...can't find a better man..."

It was: "Can't find a butter mint" (due to the missing mints in the resturant I was working at the time)

To this day, I can't sing the regular verses to those, and countless other songs. Thanks life!

-- Anonymous, April 07, 2000

Carol said: (Note: that movie Love Potion No. 9 is also ruined because it was on HBO at the same time)

I just wanted to point out, Carol, that it's not just you. It's a crappy movie, so don't feel too bad about that.

I've also been thinking about the number of soundtracks I have at my house. How music and movies mix. "In Your Eyes," anyone? The Natural Born Killers soundtrack and the Pulp Fiction soundtrack remind me of early college years and seeing those movies and wanting to be Mrs. Mia Wallace.

Tiffany's "In Your Eyes" reminds me of junior high dances. So does "Dream On."

Metallica's "Fade to Black" reminds me of every time I locked myself in my bedroom in high school and just never wanted to show my face again.

Toad the Wet Sprocket's "One Little Girl" reminds me of feeling like I could never be loved, and then looking up into the eyes of someone who was confessing his love for me.

-- Anonymous, April 07, 2000

Oh God, yes.

Geek that I am, I have entered all of my favourite songs into a database. Now that I have my CD burner, I can make all of these "soundtrack of my life" CDs.

I have been known to run out and spend too much money on an import CD for some obscure song that I MUST have to complete a certain "soundtrack".

I've got a 12 CD changer in my truck, and I play them over and over again. At this rate, I may never hear a new song again!

-- Anonymous, April 07, 2000

Of course pop music makes me miserable...every new release by the Backstreet Boys, N'Sync, Briney Spears and Christina Agulara bring me that much closer to slitting my wrists. If it weren't for college radio, I might never look at another CD again.

As far as music being a soundtrack for my life. Most definately. A few samples: I meet a cute girl - "Some Kind of Stranger" (The Sisters of Mercy). A friend has to leave due to an emergency - "Wish You Were Here" (Pink Floyd). I break up with a girl - "Another Brick In The Wall Part III" (Pink Floyd) followed by "The Last Song I Will Ever Write About A Girl" (The Ataris) followed by Kent's entire "Isola" album. Driving 20 miles over the speed limit - "I Wanna Be Sedated" (The Ramones) followed by "Be Good To Yourself" (Journey) followed by "Pressure" (Billy Joel).

There are more songs for more situations, but I should quit while I'm ahead.

BTW, the new Cure album, "Bloodflowers" is incredable. I'd dress up for it. :)

-- Anonymous, April 07, 2000

oh hell yeah. the new cure album is delicious...mmm.

I like to dance around to it. dress up? I would if I had the clothes!

of course, all cure is good. what am I talking about?

-- Anonymous, April 08, 2000

Someone mentioned that Freshman song, and I'm glad I'm not alone, I always thought it was: We never have forty cents... No one ever corrected me when I sang it that way either.

Someone else mentioned changing the lyrics or titles to certain songs... Freshman year of college, there were two:

Hey Jealously became: Hey P.C.E. P.C.E. stands for Porkchop Elvis (we knew a guy that had sideburns that looked like porkchops) I can never sing the chours without singing my words.

"Can't Find a Better man" or whatever that song is by Pearl Jam became "Can't find my dividends" Accounting class, sophomore year, enough said.

This is the soundtrack of my life Songs that remind me of my boyfriend, some obvious, some not:

"If I had a Million Dollars" -- BNL "One Week" -- BNL "She talks to Angels" -- Black Crowes "Everything you Want" -- Vertical Horizon "Strokin'" -- Clarence Carter

Songs that bring me back to Elementary School in a heartbeat

"Who Can it Be Now" -- Men At Work "Centerfold" -- J. Geils Band "Pac Man Fever" (I am so dating myself) -- whoever it was that sang that damn song. and: Anything by Duran Duran

High School Soundtrack

Anything by Tori Amos, or Def Leppard. "(You May be Right)I may be crazy" -- Billy Joel "Seventeen" -- Winger "Miles Away" -- Winger "Sunday, Bloody Sunday" -- U2

College Soundtrack

"Hey Jealousy" -- Gin Blossoms "River of Dreams" -- Billy Joel "The Final Countdown" -- in Hindi, not the Europe version "Unforgiven" -- Metallica "I will Survive" -- Gloria Gaynor

Songs that remind me of my dad:

"Butterfly Kisses" -- Okee, I know how cheesy that is, but thing song came out a week to the day after my dad passed away, and from now on I cry BUCKETS everytime I hear it... which, unfortunately, is at every wedding I've been at since my dad passed away.

The Theme to Archie Bunker/M.A.S.H/The Jeffersons Born in the USA -- Bruce Springsteen.

-- Anonymous, April 08, 2000

The only song that has run my life for the past few years is by Sarah McLaughlin - "Vox".

"In the desert of my dreams I saw you there, And walking toward the stillness left my body cold and bare. But your words cut through the fire and you left my soul to bleed, The pain that's in the truth deceiving me has got me scared. Oh-ie-e-e Oh-ie-e Do-do-doo-do-do-do-doo-do-do-do-doo-ooh-ooh-ooh"

But recently, my song has had to change!

This week I have gone through hell and back - but it has actually turned out pretty good.

I am going to submit my story for the hopes that it can help someone be strong.

Here goes...

I was molested as a child by my babysitter. I know that sounds awful, but what makes it worse is that he was a very close friend of the family. I have never had the courage to say anything publicly until this week.

A few months ago my cousin, who is more like a sister than anything, and I were out drinking. We started letting skeletons out to each other, beacause as they say there is truth in the wine. I told her that when I was 6 my babysitter, who she knew due to the fact that he was a family friend of my family and hers...along with a few other, molested me.

Here is where it may be a little to tough to read, but I am putting this out there to help anyone else who has been through this.

As I said, I was 6. I wore those white training panties with the ruffles on the butt. He loved to get me ready for bed. When doing so, he would "check" down the front and back of them with his hands to "try to find out the size so he could get some for his mom".

SICK BASTARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anyways - being 6, I had no idea what he was doing except making me uncomfortable.

So much so that I had been best-friends with his younger brother and cousin(who were my age)and I quit playing with them all together. I was scared of him!

My mother came home one night, about the 4th time he had babysat for me, and found him in my room, the door shut, removing my training pants.

He had is hands there!

My mother was very upset, but chalked it up to a stupid, very stupid, mistake. It was her best friends son. He would not do anything to hurt me.

Although she didn't say anything - she never let him babysit for me again. (thank God)

Last week my cousin let me know that she had found out that I was not the only one he had done this to. He has done it to atleast 5 other girls. One of them was his sister and he did that for 6 years.

SICK BASTARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So, today I called CPS and told them my story.

3 of the other girls involved have to - even though it has been between 15-8 years since it happened to us.

He is going down!

So, back to the topic - the new song that drives me, not miserably, but makes me feel impowered (sp?) is "I Will Survive".

Thank you Donna Sommers! (I think - again forgive me it's been a long week) You rock!

One more note - anyone that thinks this may have happened to them, or if you know it has and you need someone to talk to, reply and I will be there, because guess what - we will survive.

As my life motto goes, "Whatever doesn't kill you, makes you stronger!"

Take care of yourselves and keep listening to the music - it can give you strength when you think you have none.

-- Anonymous, April 08, 2000

Robyn, thanks for having the strength to share your story.

As for songs we've ruined by making up other lyrics, Chuy and I have totally ruined Pearl Jam's "Evenflow." Since we couldn't figure out what he was saying we just threw in names of fruit.

"Peeeeeeaches, apples bananas lemons and some grapefruit!
Pe-ars!"

-- Anonymous, April 08, 2000

Wow Robyn powerful story. Leave Donna Summer alone though because Gloria Gaynor sang "I Will Survive." SEND THE BASTARD TO JAIL FOR A LONG LONG TIME!!

Today's forum topic reminds me of a quote from Dick Clark who said that the magic of rock 'n roll is that it becomes "the soundtrack for a generation."

Has pop music ruined by life? No. Probably books and fairy tales with the whole "handsome prince" phenomenon. Damn Cinderella!! and Gone with the Wind (should've put a disclaimer that most guys "don't give a damn") Here's my soundtrack.

I was raped in college and for some reason "Anna Begins" was my theme song of power "I'm not gonna bend, I'm not gonna break. I'm not gonna worry about it anymore." Also, the "August and Everything After" was the only CD that my volunteer group in Kenya could agree on so I have multiple good memories with this CD.

I can't listen to "If I Ever Lose my Faith in You" (is that the title) by Sting without remember Brent. This was before I discovered he was boinging my best friend when I was happy and had hope that this relationship would go somewhere.

Band Camp: "Girls" by the Beastie Boys. "You Give Love a Bad Name" by Bon Jovi (oh lord)

College: "Groove is in the Heart" by DeeeeLight. "Just Like Heaven" by the Cure (hell anything by the Cure) and "How Soon is Now" by the Smiths.

Oh wowee what a trip now memory lane . . . I gotta go back to work.

-- Anonymous, April 08, 2000

Oh god, yes -- music does rule my life. I think the song that holds the most memories for me would be Seal's "Kiss From A Rose". It never fails to remind me of my very first boyfriend in 7th grade, because that was the song we danced to at a party *months* before we started going out.

The Monkee's entire "Headquarters" album remind me of the summer before 9th grade, when my sister, cousin and I were all obessed with The Monkees and couldn't get enough of them. This was the first CD of them that my sis and I had and we listened to it over and over. Any song on there (except for a few crappy Davy Jones' songs) puts me in a happy place:)

"Lean On Me" will forever remind me of my best friend when I lived in Virginia because several months before I moved, we sang to it for a talent show together.

I also have CDs for when I'm in different moods. When I'm angry and need to get it out I put on Forrest Gump soundtrack and blare "Sweet Home Alabama" by Lynyrd Skynyrd and "Volunteers" by Jefferson Airplane. The Best of The Doors and Are You Experienced? are good for this too. "Safe In My Garden" by The Mamas and the Papas puts me in a weepy mood, as does "She's Leaving Home" by the Beatles, "Abraham, Martin and John" by Dion and a lot of Simon and Garfunkel. Things I like to sing to when I'm in a happy mood are Queen, Blondie, Doors, Hendrix, Janis Joplin, etc, etc...just about anything:)

-- Anonymous, April 09, 2000

God my personal soundtrack would make me sound as screwed up as Ally McBeal. There are all these songs that remind me of people in my life though - You and Me and the Bottle Makes Three by Big Bad Voodoo Daddy always reminds me of my ex boyfriend the raging alcoholic. It Had to be You reminds me of my best friend. China by Tori Amos always makes me think of another of my ex boyfriends because he had to be the most emotionally unavailable man in existence. Teardrop by Massive Attack is always playing in my head when I feel lonely. Anything eighties reminds me of getting drunk and going out dancing. Frank Sinatra reminds me of kareoke since his are the only songs I would agree to sing in public. Bloody Hell, there are a lot of them. As for whether they have made me miserable - I would have to agree that the Jane Austin books and Gone with the Wind had more to do with my silly romantic notions that have made me miserable.

-- Anonymous, April 10, 2000

Pamie, whenever I hear any classic Spice Girls stuff (and I never thought I'd describe any Spice Girls stuff as classic - but I mean 'Who do you think you are' and that stuff) I think of you, and my seven year old niece, Katie. She'd think you were really cool!

-- Anonymous, April 10, 2000

I think I've grown out of my idealization of music. Living in Austin or Athens will do that to you. Sure, I used to think Michael Stipe was one of the coolest guys ever, then I met him at a bar in college and realized that he's just a smelly, skinny weirdo who thinks a lot of himself and likes young men. I still think I know who "Crush in Eyeliner" is about (not me, by the way).

Still, anytime I listen to "Dead Letter Office" it reminds me of being 14, sick at home with mono and freaking out because my research paper was due even though I hadn't been to school in 3 weeks. "* me Kitten" still reminds me of a girl I dated right before I went to college. I even gave her the shirt with that written on it before I left.

And as a side note, what about smells? The other day at work a girl was wearing the same perfume the "* me Kitten" girl wore and I was immediately taken back there. I remember keeping a calculator from an exgirlfriend, even though it was broken, because some of her perfume had spilled on it. I think perfume has ruined my life. I'm going to go smell some old love letters.

-- Anonymous, April 10, 2000

How appropriate. I was just in Rite Aid and was feeling nostalgic over my first boyfriend because they were playing REO Speedwagon.

He lived across the street from me and was 2 years older than me (bringing him to the ripe old age of 15 at the time) and he only wanted to see me on the side cause his friends teased him saying I was too young for him (I was 13 and only in 8th grade, while he was a mature man going into high school). So after he broke the news he could not see me anymore I was devastated. I sat in my room and cried and cried while listening to the radio. Until "Can't fight this feeling" came on. Then I stopped crying, wrote him a letter and slipped it to him while I saw him walking his dog. He was my boyfriend and didn't care who knew after that.

That song always brings back the day I gave him that letter with such clarity, it seems like yesterday. Anything by REO Speedwagon actually. Even though I am happily married now and this is 17 years ago, I like the feeling of being 13 again and getting lost remembering those emotions.

I think someone is going over to Sam Goody on her lunch hour....

-- Anonymous, April 10, 2000

The first tape I ever bought was the Ghostbusters soundtrack. I was a kid and I thought it was cool. Later on I bought Girls Girls Girls by Motley Crew. I was trying to freak out my mom, but she liked it. The first two CDs I ever bought were Skid Row and Great White. The one with Mista Bone on it. On New Years, while our parents were out, my sister and I cranked up Youth Gone Wild as loud as it would go and let off fireworks in the street. My first rock concert was Bon Jovi during the New Jersey tour. I went with my mother and step father who didnt get mad when I yelled Fuck You with Sebastian Bach.

My best friend from High School turned me on to Tesla and Queensrych. We were dating girls in San Antonio and would listen to Empire and Great Radio Controversy all the way up. We would also drive up to Austin and try to get the bands to sneak us into the Back Room. Sometimes they did. Outside of the VFW in Academy I kissed a girl during the sad piano ending of Garth Brooks The Dance. My friend Bobby wore boots and a cowboy hat, but cranked out Easy E and 2 Live Crew from his ugly green truck. One night I was riding around Temple with a crazy German chick listening to Nirvanas Nevermind and thinking about dropping out of high school. The day after I fell in love with the woman I would later marry I saw Pearl Jam and Soundgarden at the City Coliseum. It is No. 1 on my all time top 5 concerts. When I left her I had Fasted Man Alive by the Ugly Americans blaring out of my CD player.

This morning I drove to work funking out on Sir Psycho Sexy from the Chili Peppers. Pop music doesnt make you miserable. People were miserable before there was such a thing. It does let you know that other people, even cool people, can be just as miserable as you are.

-- Anonymous, April 10, 2000

Geez, I think WIndy and I are the same age. That makes me so happy. I'm also happy that she mentioned Pac Man fever, I completely forgot about that song.

Some songs and bands are ruined for me, especially Janes Addiction, The Cure, and The Smiths. These mostly have to do with the girls in my art classes and theater group in high school that I had huge crushes on.

I never really liked pop music much, I was always way more into metal starting when I listened to Slayer's Reign In Blood in 7th grade right after it came out. Then I got into punk and then hardcore. Now I'm mostly into folk music I guess. Utah Phillips, Woody Guthrie, Phil Ochs, David Rovics.

There are certain sountrack songs though. I used to make mixed tapes with a "night" side and a "day" side. They were mostly intended for driving and roadtrips, the "day" side would have wicked upbeat happy songs like Operation Ivy, "What I like about you" by the romantics, etc. The "night" side would have wanky slow guitar stuff by Joe Satriani, it woul dhave Portishead (Well, it never did then, but it would if I made it now), et cetera.

I find that lots of music I couldn't stand growing up I love now. Summer of 69 is great, and one of those songs that EVERYONE seems to know the words to. I hated Billy Joel and Bruce Springstien growing up but now I crank them up whenever they are on the radio. Phil Collins is also pretty rock in his own way.

I guess I strayed a bit from the topic...

-- Anonymous, April 10, 2000

punk ruined my life and saved my eternal soul. I would make the same decision again if i could. Ska lightened me up, and made me realize that you can combine any music types together with a good horn secton. Of all the music i listen to, those two genera's (and one band Op Ivy) have and the most influence on me.

-- Anonymous, April 10, 2000

RE: "Freshmen" I had no idea what the "forty cents" lyric was until I heard it again on the radio a couple weeks ago, and I think it's "I cannot beleive we'd ever die for these sins."

I tend not to associate songs with eras so much as events, and usually those associations come about by way of the song being stuck in my head during that event, unless I happen to listen to it during that time.

Mighty Mighty Bosstones, "Impression That I Get" - England trip 1997, had it stuck in my head the whole plane flight over and most of the trip, no matter how much I tried to get rid of it.

Tonic, anything from Lemon Parade - driving through Missouri and the Ozarks. I was too lazy to get other CD's out of my backpack, so I kept listening to it all day every day.

Sarah McLachlan, "Fear" - Europe trip 1999. Once again, I didn't bother changing CD's that often.

Sting, "Desert Rose" - being the pedestrian in an auto-pedestrian accident, Feb. 21, 2000. I deliberately got this song stuck in my head to distract myself from a lot of the activity around me and the pain from my broken legs. It was the only time I can recall where I was willingly unconscious of what was happening with myself and the world around me, and I wish I could do it again. In fact, every time I hear it, I get the urge to be staring up at the moon on a cool morning as the sun rises. Lying on asphalt is optional.

-- Anonymous, April 11, 2000

Pop music hasn't ruined my life. My friend Mike has ruined pop music for me. He has a terrible memory and can never remember the lyrics to songs, so he just makes up his own and sings those instead. We were at a hole-in-the-wall bar a few weeks back, with one of those CD jukebox thingies, and someone had decided to play "One Is The Loneliest Number". The music starts, and Mike begins to sing.. "Juan is the loneliest plumber that you ever knew.. Stu could be as bad as Juan, he's the loneliest plumber since the plumber Juan.."

And that's just one song he's ruined for me forever. I could go on for days (if only most of these incidents hadn't taken place while I had been drinking)...

-- Anonymous, April 11, 2000

'I want to hold your hand' - Beatles - the first record my parents bought for me, because it was #1 when I was born, which was the same week the fab four did their only show ever in my home country. I love the Beatles anytime anywhere, but this one remains my favorite. "I get HIGH! I get HIGH!"

'Pretty Vacant' - Sex Pistols - I used to play that whenever I got mad at my teachers at school. Now I play it whenever I get mad at my ignorant boss. And I still think it beats the hell out of 'Smells like teen spirit'. "You'll always find me..... OUT TO LUNCH!" Yeah!

'Run Baby Run' - Sheryl Crow - the first time I heard that song, October 93, in a cd store no less, I just broke down and started crying at the first note. No song has ever moved me like this one, and for no particular reason, unlike other songs which always have an event attached to them. It's just that melody, that voice, those lyrics..... I honestly believe I'm in love with that track, if such a thing is possible.

Piano Concert #23 - Mozart - no explanation necessary.

-- Anonymous, April 11, 2000

It doesn't matter what I am doing I have to stop if I hear Don Henley's "Boys of Summer". it reminds me of a girl I had such a major thing for in University. She sat with me all the time in art history and her studio was right beside mine. I was afraid to speak to her most of the time like a highschool kid (I was almost thirty at the time. She showed me some photos she had taken, one was a semi nude of herself and I actualy felt my stomach turn and I almost feinted, seriously. I was walking one day in the summer and she stopped and offered me a ride. She was all tanned and wearing sunglasses and the wind blew her hair around so she ran her fingers through it and pushed it back, I was in heaven just looking at her. So the song now reminds me of her and stops my heart at the same time.

When I worked at a Jail I listened to Bad Company's "Bad Company" on the way to work and played the "COPS" theme (Bad boys, bad boys, watcha gonna do? Watcha gonna do when they come for you.) in my head as we left the muster room for our shift. Thirty Bad Ass CO's, the biggest gang in the building, boots echoing through the halls as we walked to our cell blocks.

-- Anonymous, April 12, 2000

867-5309 Jenny. My little brother was obsessed with that song, and played it over and over and over... My SO calling up the radio station and having them play anything by Lionel Ritchie, even though he hated him, because he thought I would like it. Top Jimmy by Van Halen. These Dreams (was that Heart?) at Senior Prom. My ex- husband's frightening off-key, taped rendition of Every Breath You Take by the Police. I don't remember who sang it, but the song Leader Of The Band being sung to my band instructor when he retired. I tear up over that. The very hardest for me to listen to, though, are the Dead Milkmen and The Violent Femmes. My best friend in college and I used to hang out in the student lounge all day blasting them on his boombox and singing along. Shane was my best bud. I had known him since we were maybe two. Anyway, he invited me to go away with him for the weekend to his parent's cottage. I was with my SO, and pregnant to boot. He said it didn't matter. I told him that I loved him as a friend, but I couldn't do that. We had, I thought, a nice day together. Two weeks later, I found out that he had killed himself. For a long time I beat myself up about not seeing that somthing was really wrong. I told my SO, and he just said that there was no way I could have known, and that he was sorry. When our son was born, he asked me if I would like to have his middle name be Shane. I cried. And every time I hear Add It Up, I cry. My latest song is not one that at the time stuff was happening was around, but I think it best sums up my marriage. I dedicate this song to my ex- husband. Shania Twain's Black Eyes, Blue Tears.

-- Anonymous, April 12, 2000

Wendy, "Juan and Stu" had me in stitches. Robyn, I'm impressed by your strength--best of luck.

I buy stuff I like and play it years and years later, so memories start to overlap. This is somewhat deliberate.

I remember buried memories when I hear songs and artists I hate far more often than when I hear songs and artists I like. Sometimes it isn't the artist's fault I hate them.

Funny that I should say "The Artist", because "Purple Rain" was HUGE when I was a freshman in college. (Yup. Me = Old. Deal. (I even skipped a grade, so I'm even older than THAT.)) Annoying people loved it. They also loved "Born in the U.S.A." and Madonna.

I actually kinda liked Prince (Controversy-era) before college. I still loathe Bruce (sorry, unrepentant Anglophile, plus I got tired of people not paying attention to the lyrics, which are NOT as pro- USA as you might think). I still don't care much for Madonna, though the stuff she did with the CHIC veterans (Material Girl-era) has some interesting bass work and production AND I got sent "Ray of Light" when I forgot to send in my BMG card (the 'Om shanti' song is v. interesting).

I also have crises of conscience when I like something I KNOW is fluff. My friends all went cuckoo for the Spice Girls. By osmosis, I learned to like them. Damnit, they were catchy. (I was given all five of the original Spice dolls PLUS the touring Geri doll, which was yanked. Eee!) I give up. I will tolerate them. I don't own their CD [s], but probably will eventually, because I associate my friends with the music. When I buy the CD[s], I will be a proud outed Spice fan. I'm just not ready to take that step, in platform shoes or no.

As for songs defining relationships...I date musicians. I don't mean to, I swear, but even men I am SURE have no musical talent whatsoever get my interest revved for other reasons and then, just when i think I've escaped the cycle, they hafta whip out a guitar or talk about how their roommateis putting together a band and they're going to be the lead singer/bassist/keyboardist/drummer, isn't that cool? Argh. I can't win. Their CDs become the soundtrack for the relationship and, sometimes, the aftermath. I'm a glutton for punishment I guess.

And when they're good, I suppose it's worth enduring the inevitable "sorry baby, I've got issues / must spread my wonderfulness around more" speech. *snark*

:)

Oh yeah--I remember where I bought almost everything I own. I remember it's origin or provenance better than I remember lyrics. I also get donations of old vinyl records. Those inevitably remind me of the prior owner. I have a bunch of my mom and dad's old 45s and I think of my dad each time I play the fast ones, and my mom when I play the slow ones. It's bittersweet, because my dad died when I was 12. I wouldn't have the records at all, because we had a fire where they were stored (this is but a sixth of what was there). My grandfather built a nice 'house' on the back of his property and we put a lot of things in there while my mom and brother and I were relocating due to my father's death. As for the records, I begged and nagged and finally swiped a box and put it in the car when we left my grandparents' house. That weekend, the storage unit burnt down. Needless to say, I didn't get punished for disobeying and thereby saving the records. (They aren't worth a penny as collectibles, actually, as they were all removed from their sleeves and stuck in metal racks (popular in the 50's), thus got scratched and abused...but they're worth a mint in memories. I have refurbished them as best as I am able, and get decent sound from them.)

One last one: certain classical pieces remind me of the orthodontist's waiting room (where I'd go and get my braces tightened excruciatingly--the P.A. was always blaring Musak / 1001 Strings or classical) and hellish piano lessons and recitals. I own a lot of classical music but balk at playing the more popular pieces most of the time. I couldn't name much of it anymore. Instead I play slightly more obscure composers like Delius.

I no longer listen to the popular station (and Mandatory Metallica at 9PM is not restricted to my listening area, I hear) because most new music is starting to sound the same. Like, erm, crap!

I thought it was bad when the airwaves were saturated with Dave and the Hootie Travellers but now it's Kid Korn Against the Machine and a dozen breathy little girls who all sound alike. ARGH! "Let's do it like mammals on the Discovery Channel"?! Ha. Funny. (Yes, I know that's not how it goes, I hear it 10 times a week FROM OTHER PEOPLE'S CARS, damn it.) So this is what we'll be remembered for. Give me Duran Duran's obscure pedantic mindfuck lyrics any day over THAT. (Yes, I know the BHG did a song with a lyric about Simon LeBon. I'm not in a Home just yet.)

Kids today. Humph. Gripe. Fuss. Grumble.

Never mind, I'm having a seizure brought on by OldTimer's Disease. (Yup. Me = Old. Sigh.)

-- Anonymous, April 13, 2000

Kid Korn Against the Machine.

Wooo! That's some funny shit!

I personally call that conglomeration Third Eye Matchbox and the Blowfish 182, but I like yours better.

-- Anonymous, April 14, 2000