What parts do you look for in a potential mate? What parts do you not even notice?

Are you concerned about a part of your body and want to know if everyone else is looking at it to?

-- Anonymous, April 26, 2000

Answers

I look at eyes. I love guys' eyes because of the eyelashes. It takes me hours to get eyelashes that look just like my brother's, and all he has to do is wake up.

I really dig arms too. I adore upper arms, especially the way how the biceps curve a little right by the elbow.

Yum-my.

-- Anonymous, April 26, 2000

oh! i'm all about eyes, too. really, that's about all i look at, then i suppose hygiene. that's pretty damn important to me.

i've never thought tom cruise/brad pitt, etc. were all that hot. it was the kevin spacey/ed harris type that did it for me.

something about intelligence, too...

-- Anonymous, April 26, 2000

Seriously. I need to know about the eyebrows. And fingernails. Do you guys care about fingernails? I work all day, people. I don't have time for the cuticles.

-- Anonymous, April 26, 2000

I'm a sucker for blue or gray eyes. Especially blue. *swoon*

I know what you mean about your forehead, Pamie. I also possess a big-ass forehead. Unlike you, though, my face isn't long. It's square. I have a square face (or did back in the days when my now soft jaw could cut glass). For many years I was convinced that someone with my high hairline and slight widows' peak (slick it back and it looks like I'm balding) had to wear bangs. However, in the last year or so I decided to stop wearing bangs and ya know what? People like it! They actually tell me how nice it is to see my forehead, like my face is bright and open and happy!

I've made peace with my forehead. It's a nice forehead, even though I can fit my whole hand on it and have room to spare on the sides.

I'm not fond of my profile, though. It's flat.

-- Anonymous, April 26, 2000

What's to know about eyebrows? I've been doing stuff to my eyebrows since I was 12. Be so happy you don't have overactive eyebrows, Pamie. Honestly, they're a burden and then some. From the pictures I've seen of you on your site, yours are just fine. I only wish I was so lucky!

-- Anonymous, April 26, 2000

Dark curly hair. Or not-so-dark curly hair. Something I can twirl my fingers in. *swoon*

-- Anonymous, April 26, 2000

I want to know if guys can spot my zits as easily as I can. Seriously, if there's anything even remotely brewing in my T-zone, I can tell from a mile away. It starts to mock me -- red, blotchy, impervious to concealer, winking at everyone who looks my way so that they know I'm a greasy acne-ridden freak.

Please tell me guys can't tell.

-- Anonymous, April 26, 2000

Guys don't notice the eyebrows. I recently got mine waxed for the first time and although I saw a HUGE difference, no one noticed. Not even my boyfriend. Once I stuck my face in his and asked about the difference, he said he could tell a little but do I really need to spend my time obsessing over eyebrows?

I have a little obsession with teeth. I just can't stand bad teeth. I was a lucky one and had naturally straight teeth but I've always made sure to keep my six-month checkups, etc. current. I think my obsession arose from an attempted pick-up about six years ago. I was out one night on the town and a reasonably attractive guy started up a conversation with me. Halfway through the conversation, I could hardly understand what he was saying because he was mumbling so badly. He was one of those people who talk hardly moving their mouths--anyway, I said something that must have struck him as funny because he started laughing. One of those big, wide-open mouth laughs.

Oh, I shouldn't have said whatever it was. He was missing his four front teeth. I then made a very quick exit.

As for other physical attributes, the only real patterns I've noticed in myself is that I tend to prefer taller men with nice teeth. That's about it.

My associate, being male, offered the following: he prefers girls to be "au naturel" with the eyebrows. I believe he said as long as it doesn't look like a velcro strip straight across your face, guys seem to not really care about the eyebrows. As for fingernails, he likes the girls with short, well-kept nails. He added that guys don't usually notice fingernails, either, unless they are super long and have wierd little designs on them. Oddly enough, he said that having long fingernails was just being lazy (???)...

-- Anonymous, April 26, 2000

A good nose, I've always been a sucker for a big impressive nose. Of course, it has to go with the face, but I'm not a big fan of cute little noses on men.

And hands. A guys hands will make or break the deal for me. The ugliest man in the world can be sexy to me if he has a good sense of humor and a nice, strong pair of hands. A small, wimpy paw is a MAJOR turn off.

As for me - my head is pointy and my ears are too small.

The rest of me is ok, but the pointy head limits the number of hairstyles I can sport. Ponytails? Not so good with the pointy head. Cute little pigtails? Not so cute when they appear on either side of a pointy head.

The small ears are just freakish.

I don't think too many people have noticed, but then again, maybe it's one of those things everyone's afraid to tell me...

-- Anonymous, April 26, 2000

OK, first of all, I am not a hairy person, OK?

But.....I have these two wild black hairs that grow out of my chin. I carry tweezers in my purse, so that if one of them decides to pop out over night, well I am ready to attack it. And they do you know, they seem to grow an inch when I least expect it. Sneaky devils. Do guys care about this?

Oh and speaking of hair, this girl I know, um yeah....her name is...um Phoebe....yeah Phoebe....it's not me....ok....it's Phoebe. Anyway, Phoebe has a couple of black hairs that grow around the nipple area. And she is obsessed, obsessed people, with making sure these stragglers never see the light of day. Is there anything wrong with that? Do guys care about things like that. Because I can pass that information along to my friend.

-- Anonymous, April 26, 2000

My forehead is huge, too.

Just look at any entry. Someone called it "royal" once and I think they were referring to the Elizabethan thing, too.

Bangs just seem to empahsize it for me, though.

-- Anonymous, April 26, 2000

Pamie, let me tell you something about eyebrows. I, like you, have never ever ever worried about mine until just recently. Never plucked, shaped or anything. But this weekend, a friend of mine talked me into going waxing with her. I did my upper lip and not the eyebrows, because the salon gal said I didn't need to. (Yay!) But as for this waxing thing, it was five days ago, and I still have little red bumps all over my upper lip. I look like I have very localized, miniature chicken pox. And I bled afterward (although not as much as I was expecting given the intense pain)!

Leave your eyebrows alone. You don't need to hurt yourself this way. Plucking is slow and painful, waxing is fast and even more painful. So if nobody's said anything yet, and you don't feel they're meeting each other halfway across your forehead, leave them alone. You don't wanna look like me.

Thank you for letting me share my testimony with you all.

-- Anonymous, April 26, 2000

Has anyone ever seen, like, an attractive head of hair, and you go up to it, and it turns out that it's just a 53 year old woman who spends way too much time on her hair. In terms of taking care of their looks, I think people are just better off figuring out what their best feature is, and try to draw as much attention to that as possible. There are lots of actresses who have the flaws described, but they just leverage their strengths. Carla Gugino (?sp) has the big fore head, and she's doing commercials for make up companies. She just has her hair cut to leverage her lips, with her forehead giving her kind of a baby-face. Gillian Anderson has the odd-shaped face, chin, and nose, but if you look at her hair in the early seasons of the X-Files, and look how she has her hair cut now, now she's all eyes and smiles, and no one even remembers how some of the casting people considered her too unattractive and short to play opposite Duchovny.

I remember seeing the Star Trek: First Contact movie, and (Midwestern) people were like all Ew, yuck! at Alice Krige as the Borg Queen. The make-up job was leveraging her alien Borg skin, and people watching it didn't like it. But Krige carried this euphoria with the performance which I thought was kind of kinky. I mean, maybe people were grossed out by the idea of a slick, marble-skinned woman living in perpetual ecstacy, but I don't think they would have had such a strong reaction if they weren't trying to deny very strong feelings.

-- Anonymous, April 26, 2000

i'm rather particular with my boys...

-first of all, and most importantly, is teeth. They should be relatively straight and clean. no grey teeth, no gold front tooth, no british smiles. just something nice. this includes fresh breath, and brushed teeth, too. bad teeth = dirty -nobody too hairy. i want to snuggle on his chest and not get a mouthful of hair. plus, dirt hangs out there. -short nails. guys with long nails remind me of sleaze, and traps dirt.

i guess hygiene is the most important things. i pretty much notice everything over time. i think my boyfriend knows this, hence he won't let me look at his feet. i still don't really know what his feet look like. everything else, though, i've got down.

i hate when boys look at my boobies. i don't have much, yet they still stare. i wonder if they see my belly rolls. mostly, i wonder what they notice at all.

-- Anonymous, April 26, 2000

I wrote something but then deleted it- I'm not going to broadcast what's wrong with me. Your forehead's fine.

-- Anonymous, April 26, 2000

There are a couple of things that I generally notice:

Teeth - mainly because I'm jealous that mine are so crappy, so I admire anyone that has nice white, straight teeth.

Strong Hands - If the guy can't give a good handshake he probably can't give a good backrub either.

Hair - Must be clean cut - think military regulations, but not a buzz cut. Can't stand out of control hair.

OK guys - give it up - just how much do you notice those few extra pounds. Is it worth me killing myself to loose that last five lbs?

-- Anonymous, April 26, 2000

My palm covers my forhead too, but I'm not worried about it. Sometimes bangs can make a face look too crowded. The part I like about men is the stomach and the small of the back. I like the way it curves into nice round buttocks on some guys (like my boyfriend who also has the cutest tummy).

-- Anonymous, April 26, 2000

there's nothing cuter than a big manly man with a sweet, little-boy smile.

-- Anonymous, April 26, 2000

Uh, I'm...uh, going...uh, you've got to understand that I'm 27 and not quite resigned to its loss... that is to say...the loss of, uh

I'M GOING BALD!! (ha! that's really funny - i just accidentally misspelled it BLAD and it looks much worse that way. whew! at least i'm only going bald).

Probably the most disconcerting thing about this is that I was just getting to be really comfortable with my hair. Like not fixing it too much, not putting product in it, etc. Although I guess that could be a sort of resignation, not unlike the type of transformation that I am told a terminally ill person goes through.

Oh God. This is horrible.

But - huh - hair...I mean, huh, who needs it, right? I mean, it's just stuff that grows out of your skull, right? Girls don't care about it. I'm sure the last thing going through a girl's mind when she's introducing her boyfriend to her friends or family or coworkers is: "oh my god, he's so blad, i'm so ashamed. when did this happen? he wasn't blad when i met him! i have pictures! oh my god! did i make him blad?!"

this is terrible. anyone? rogaine? does it work?

-- Anonymous, April 26, 2000

my husband is loosing his hair, and, if genetics prove correct, will be bald as a cue ball. it doesn't bother me, unless he lets the rest of the hair grow out- which is rather wavy/curly, and makes him look like a total maniac.

on the other hand, i am totally obsessed with my hair- very naturally curly and blonde (so our kids will be model hitler-kids-with-blonde-afros). i talk about my hair constantly, and used to be addicted to naturallycurly.com

but, hey, after hating my hair and fighting it for 20+ years, i can now enjoy it. i can exhalt it! whoo-hoo!

-- Anonymous, April 26, 2000

My boyfriend has the softest skin you could ever dream of. This provokes two responses in me: a) insane jealousy and b) wild horniness. Oh yes, also c) maternal tenderness, sometimes.

-- Anonymous, April 26, 2000

Definitely shoulder blades! I'd gawk at a guy in an undershirt and loose jeans over a suit any day.

-- Anonymous, April 26, 2000

I look for a nice smile. A smile is very important to me. Eyes are nice, too.

I hate my nose. I know a big nose didn't keep Barbara from James but what about non-diva folks?

-- Anonymous, April 26, 2000

first of all i go to Ga. Tech, and the ratio is 10 guys to one Girl. Sooo, if a girl looks like Chewbacca she's getting mad play. Second these girls STaaay in the gym, live there. you'll see them on the tread mill and think damn sam. then you see their face...jo jo the dog faced girl. Real Smoke-filled bar kind of girls. SO they have figured out that Frat boys want em tight, and don't care what thier face looks like.

But the rest of us like a a nice smile and pretty eyes, little happy glow. HAVE the extra 10-20-30 pounds, let your cat eat billy blanks tape. don't worry about big nose small ears blah blah. SMILE! GLOW girl.

-- Anonymous, April 26, 2000

About The FIngernails ok i used to have short nails. kept, but still stubby, until about 2 years ago. i have a guy friend who told me that hands and nails are a very important place that guys check besides the usual t and a. he said that he checks to see if the back of her hands are clean and there is no dirt or crap under her nails and her cuticles are in nice shape meaning no hangnails and bloody messes. he said, and i quote " if a chick can't even take care of her nails, and they are all dirty and shit, you know she aint takin care a her shit down below. and ain't nuttin worse than a stinky cooch" charming guy i know, but the fact remains, ever since that day i have been making a weekly trip to the nail salon. i get so many compliments on my nails and hands. and i have asked guy about the nail/cooch theory and many have said words to the effect of, "who let you in on our secret test". so yes pmaie.. they do check out the nails. get theee to a manicurist.
*caitlyn

-- Anonymous, April 26, 2000

Pamie, a boy in grade school used to call me "forehead" as I have a lot of forehead. But it goes with having a melon head. I was a Buddha like baby. I'm pretty happy with my body, but I have to admit that I occasionally worry about my head and forehead wrinkles.

Guys? I just go for the skinny indie guys myself, so no ass and no body fat really turns my crank. Ha ha ha. But word to whomever mentioned shoulder blades...delicious. Any lanky boy who can wear a mere t-shirt a lot knows what I like.;)

-- Anonymous, April 26, 2000

Ugh... foreheads! I hate mine too. I just spent several months trying to grow out my bangs, then gave up in frustration because they had reached the point where they were too long to see through, but not long enough to tuck behind my ears. Plus, I've hated my forehead for as long as I've known I had one, so I gave up and cut bangs again. And, I must say, I think I look a heck of a lot better with them. Yeah, I do look younger, but having recently realized I'm about to turn 27, I don't care. ;)

As for what I like in guys.... I prefer tall, dark hair, blue eyes. I really like that swimmer's physique, with broad shoulders and narrow waist and hips. Must be from spending too much time around the swim team in high school.

-- Anonymous, April 26, 2000

I look at a guy's eyes and smile, too. There's a guy on campus I pass by every day walking and he has GORGEOUS eyes, I've never met him before but am often tempted just to tell him one day "Hey you've got beautiful eyes" I think he'd get scared though lol.

I'm pretty obsessive about my eyebrows, they were pretty damn thick up until I started plucking when I was like 14 or 15-ish. I don't think guys exactly notice, I don't recall my brothers saying anything when I started plucking and they always freak out when my appearance changes slightly, but I think keeping my eyebrows in check makes a pretty big difference on opening up my face in general and getting me to look a little closer to my age (still get mistaken for 3-4 years younger though .. I'm 19). As far as nails go, I've been most blessed to have naturally very pretty nails, I just keep 'em trimmed, don't really have to do much else, and I've gotten compliments on them, kinda cool since I'm lazy as hell with them.

Alrighty I'm rambling. Over and out.

-- Anonymous, April 26, 2000

As far as eyebrows go, I only recently started plucking mine, and only towards the center, because they like to try to grow together a little. They didn't look bad in the first place at all, but I decided I'd like to see what it looked like. I like it better. I do it for me.

As far as my nails go, they're always cut as short as they can go. I take an art class, and no matter what I do, I get everything underneath them -- charcoal, cray pas, ink, crayon, eraser... anything. And it doesn't come off, either. So I just clip 'em. I probably got into that habit from ballet, where I had to keep my toenails short otherwise I'd maim my feet during pointe class.

I have a complex about my forehead, too. And hair. I can't make up my mind about my hair. I can't decide if I want it short or long. I liked it long -- I could do more stuff with it, but if I just had it down, it would be annoying and thick and not silky and flowy or anything... just there, I guess. So it's chin-length now, and I like it a lot, but I have this fear that no guys will look at me if I don't have long hair.

Now, for potential mates...

1. I want my guy to be taller than me. I like reaching up around men's necks and snuggling like a little kid -- "Hold me!"
2. Eyes. Gorgeous, intense eyes that sparkle turn me on! I like it when guys look me in the eye when they talk to me.
3. Attire is important. If a guy is dressed like some rap gangsta, I definitely will not go for him (i.e. not my type). Clean cut, looks after himself, good hygiene... all important.
4. Eating habits. Choffing with your mouth open is absolutely disgusting -- yuck! I admire table manners, because I always end up spilling something on myself no matter what I do.
5. I'm not that fond of hair. Sure, every guy is hairy, but there's a difference between just hairy and really hairy.
6. I like the more athletic types. The man I want must be able to dance, otherwise he can say goodbye. I love a man who can dance well.
7. Likewise, the man must be able to sing. I don't think I'd be able to live with a man who's tone-deaf.

-- Anonymous, April 26, 2000

I love red hair. I don't care who I am talking to or about what, when a redhead walks by with shiney hair like a handful of new pennies in the sun, I have to ask....... aaahhh whats my name?

I also think people look at themslves in a much different manner than others do. I was talking to a friend about a self portait series she was working on. She hated them and I must say I felt they did her no justice whatsoever. I mean they looked like her but I explained to her that she had missed the mark. She forgot to put the soft smooth warmth of her skin in the paintings. She also forgot the honesty and compasion in the set of her jaw, the scent of her hair, the electricity of passion in her touch, the wit and charm in her mind and the lips, soft, sweet and warm like melting chocholate. Most of all she forgot the sunshine, the truth, the depth and magnetism of her eyes. I said when she could remember to see all that we will all be very pleased with her work. I am afraid I can not always capture all that in my own photographs but I hope I can someday.

I can also honestly say I have never met a person (even in all my years working in a jail with what would be considered some pretty scary looking women) that did not have something about them that sort of shone with a kind of beauty that if they let it, overcame any of the things they may have felt was not so pretty.

Be good to yourselves and those around you.

-- Anonymous, April 26, 2000

Oh god--the forehead! I hate the forehead! You're talking to someone who has not had a hairstyle without some kind of bangs since she was a wee toddler. Pathetic, I know--especially since almost no one (except other women with the same neurosis) knows what I am talking about. In fact, I've had boyfriends tell me I had a sexy forehad, but maybe they just thought I really needed a different hairstyle.

As for the nails/coochie connection: I'm offended. The nails may be dingy and chewed, but the downstairs are in order, y'all. Sheesh! Like I have the money, time, or dignity to waste on a manicure anyway.

(I'll start going when all the men start having to go. Have you looked at *men's* fingernails recently, people?)

-- Anonymous, April 26, 2000

I must say I look for:

-height [they must be taller than me, but not soo tall that I have to crane my neck]. I'm about 5'2" soo this is important.
-hair. I don't really care about long or short hair, but it must be kept nicely and not out of control like a big poof...
-eyes. I like nice eyes...

with myself, I have a problem with my hair. I've never liked it. it's always frizzy [because of this perm I got in the 7th grade // still haunts me] and I hate the color. it's just dull. I might just dye it if I didn't think it'd make it worse.

I stare at my eyebrows too often. I tried tweezing them once but it hurt too much and I just let them alone. most say there isn't a problem with them, but I just don't know!

also blemishes of course.. I always break out around my jawline and chin area...I hate that.

-- Anonymous, April 27, 2000

hrmm.. first of all, I love dimples. *swoon* I can just die!

I dunno about the hair thing... if a guy has a cute face (cute lips, cute nose, pretty eyes, eyebrows don't matter) then his hair just comes along...

he HAS to be taller than me, especially since I'm extremely short. he cannot be my height (hello?! 5'3"?! GROW UP!) and I need to max. reach his eye line. that's not a problem, most of the guys I know, I reach their shoulders. funners.

-- Anonymous, April 27, 2000

Something I think you're forgetting about this forehead issue is that, ever since Tyra Banks came on the scene, foreheads are cool. Granted, she has certain other large, moon-shaped assets to display as well, and she doesn't seem to mind displaying them, so it kinda balances things out that way, but still.

I train with a guy who's got what we call a 'fivehead'; hopefully it's all extra bone, because this guy gets hit in the head all the time. Might come in handy for you, Pamie, when that black guy comes over to beat you up.

-- Anonymous, April 27, 2000

Let's get back to the eyes. Always, always, always the first thing I look at. The color or the size don't matter, I just adore eyes.

Now, as for foreheads - I only have to look to my left to see the Trekkie gallery I've put up there (yeah, I'm not ashamed to admit it, I'm a Trekkie), featuring no less than five stunningly beautiful women, all with with big foreheads. Big foreheads bring out the eyes. Therefore I love big foreheads.

-- Anonymous, April 27, 2000

I think it would be more to the point [for me, anyway] to ask what I DON'T look at. Heh. Let's see.

Hair first. I don't know why -- I have this hair obsession. I don't like guys with light hair. I don't like guys with curly hair. I don't like guys with long hair. I like guys with original hair, if they can pull it off. [Think John Rzeznik. Yum.] I like clean hair, too. Yeah. That's definitely a plus. Helmet hair is icky, unbrushed hair is icky, black hair with blond streaks/tips is just weird. Blue hair is awesome. I hate guys with red hair. Yuck, yuck, yuck. I don't know; I have a lot of hair preferences.

Next comes eyes. I don't really have a preference as to color -- I gusss I like dark eyes better than light eyes, but it really doesn't matter -- and long eyelashes.

Height. I like tall guys. Not insanely, freakishly tall, but at least six feet. I don't like muscular guys. I don't like sickly skinny guys, either. This is another weird one.

I have never, ever, checked out someone's forehead. Nor do I look at eyebrows, unless the guy has a unibrow or something. Ew. Anyway..

-- Anonymous, April 27, 2000

i *always* notice eyebrows ... messy eyebrows are a peeve of mine. and, yes, i'm a waxer and have been going to various salons for about two years now to have it done. it's so much quicker and easier to do it that way ... and it doesn't have to be painful, if the salon is using the right products. there are many out there now that don't opt for the ol' wax and strips combo anymore. some are now using a herbal puddy ... slap it on your eyebrow area and pull off! it's much gentler to your skin, especially if they use aveda and follow-up it up with a lotion. sure, it's red for awhile ... but you've got clean eyebrows, instead of putting off the plucking with tweezers for weeks on end.

oh, and i hate hair on feet. that's just gross!

-- Anonymous, April 27, 2000

I totally agree about Johnny Rzeznik, I think he's the only guy on the planet that can pull that look off but does he ever do it well. Mmmm. Also I love how he dresses, it so works for him.

-- Anonymous, April 27, 2000

I really like SOLID looking men. Not muscular or huge -- but just with some weight to them. I like really tall, broad men and I like teddybear men, and I like cuddly men -- but my favorite is an almost lanky boy with really solid bones. One that looks like a boy grown up. I'm 5'8" and have dated all heights, but I like 6' the best.

I like straight teeth, a nice smile -- not all-American flashing the pearly whites, but just warm and real. Good eyebrows with a pointy arch are nice -- kind of impish or devilish. I like all eyes with a bit of sparkle and interest (in me, in life)in them. All colors are good, but I'm probably overly fascinated with greenish. STRAIGHT SHOULDERS. I hate sloped shoulders worse than anything. I don't like too much hair, and I don't like too much muscle. I love that little divide of the torso and the hips that only men have.

I think men probably worry too much about muscles if they worry about anything, and I couldn't care less. Mainly (god, I know it's such a cliche and you guys don't ever believe us), men who make me feel comfortable talking to them and make me laugh a lot are the men I'm instantly attracted to. I think the word I would use for that is "charming".

-- Anonymous, April 27, 2000

If I lay 3 fingers sideways starting at my hairline my fingers also cover the top half of my eyebrows. I am a monkey woman. Would someone like to share their excess forehead with me? You know what I find to be the sexiest thing on a man? Self confidence. That's it. That's what makes or breaks a man for me. Also I'd much rather have an overweight man than an underweight one. Hands...no pretty, baby soft hands. I want rugged man hands. To go back to my 2nd comment...take Jeremy Irons, I loves me some Jeremy Irons. He has soft hands and he's skinny but he got that attitude. Attitude is everything.

-- Anonymous, April 27, 2000

I just look at the total package. It helps if he has a great smile-- the heart melting type with teeth and all.

-- Anonymous, April 27, 2000

I look much younger than I am (lucky me) in fact I was I.D.ed at a liquer store the other day. I could barely contain my laughter as it was two days after my fortieth B'day. I am comfortable with my looks and don't really think about it to much. I am who I am. People who know me like who I am not how I look.

It is unfortunate though that I love to be naked. I go camping in off the beaten track places, often hiking in ten kilometers or more and I spend most of my time naked when I get there. I keep my curtains closed most of the time in my house and only get dressed to go out. My GF says she loves that I walk about naked couse she likes to look at me and touch me when I am near, she says I always feel warm.

The problem part comes when you facter in that I weigh 250lbs. Now I am five foot eleven inches tall and carry it pretty well. I worked out for a long time, not for looks but survival due to my job at the time. I am somewhat larger around the waist now so I don't think that many would share my GFs enthusiasim.

I think personally men who are not thin or overly muscled are nice to look at body wise and as with women I notice eyes and smiles first. Body wise for women I like a soft body, Alley McBeal types are sorta scary, c'mon girl eat a couple of big macs and get some sun. Eyebrows should be thick and full on both men and women in my opinion, plucked thin one looks like an alien, just look at say Brook Shields, the only thing I like about her is her eyebrows. I would qualify that by saying they should not meet in the middle, be Groucho Marx like or make one look like an Ewok, you know moving all the way around the outside of the eye and on to the cheeks : )

I order of notice 1) Hair as it is like a flag. 2) Eyes, the windows to the soul. 3) smile, mouth lips, show character/stress/comfort. 4) overall body type, proportion/hight. 5)How one moves and carries oneself. 6) Manner of dress, does it match the personality or is it a custume? 7) Voice, confidant, smooth and warm preferably. All of this could be my fantasy combination and be for nothing if what comes out from inside the cranium (personality and brain power) is toxic waste material. Bad lauguage is not acceptable in anyone nor is overwhelming stupidity. I am not buying a diamond so any minor flaws in body parts are just character and individuality.

I must admit though that my feelings get hurt when I actualy hear that someone finds me unatractive, Even if they are not atractive to me or even if they are men. So we all care about what others see or think even if we think we are comfortable with ourselves.

And by the way, from the photos I have seen, Pamie is a hottie ; )

-- Anonymous, April 27, 2000

And another thing! About the fingernails!

Unless a woman a.) swings both ways/the girly way, or b.) is involved in slightly-more-interesting-than-usual activities with her male partner, there is no sexual cleanliness issue involved in terms of her nails.

But with *men*: ladies (and gentlemen), you want those nails clean! Those nails are going to go places where the sun doesn't shine! So my new version of the advice given in caityln's post would be:

"If a guy can't even take care of his nails, and they are all dirty and shit, you know he aint givin' a damn about YOUR shit down below. And ain't nuttin worse than an infected cooch!"

(I have never been nearly this vulgar in a forum before. Oh well.)

-- Anonymous, April 27, 2000

Let's see - in men I adore eyes, hands, hair and shoes. Oh and teeth - as in they'd better not be stained. That's about it. Nice friendly warm eyes - maybe with a definite naughty sparkle. Good strong hands with slight calouses, and hair that isn't too short, but not long either. Just enough to.. ahem... grab on to.

Shoes - NO BIG WHITE SNEAKERS. And I'm not talking about funky ass trainers and such. I mean those icky ones with the padded squishy ankle part and ratty laces. And nothing that lights up please. And of course good shoes - something by Kenneth Cole perhaps - are ideal.

As for my own body - oy vey. Where do I start? My neck, shoulders and back - very bad due to childhood illness. Lots of scars, wimpy, boney shoulders (no tank tops or halters for me), and actually my shoulders are crooked - one is higher then the other. My neck is this pathetic little stalk. Ick. I once had a pixie cut and decided immediately that it was a bad idea; my head looked like this huge knob on my shoulders. I now keep my hair at least shoulder length. Oh and my feet are HUGE. I'm 5 feet tall and have size 8 1/2 or 9 feet. Buying shoes is *such* a pain in the ass.

Let's see what else... right now I'm terribly underweight due to some surgery stuff. It's really really hard for me to gain weight - and that would be supercool if I was ever able to reach a *healthy* weight. So of course I get a teeny bit self-concious during that whole sex thing.

And I can't stand my skinny little arms - I call them my chicken wings. Also - I have major elbow skin. I'm going to have ropey old lady arms.

Um. Oh and my waist is so damn tiny - like it makes buying pants completely impossible. Even kids jeans are too big around the waist - fit my butt and hips okay, but then are all huge around the waist. Makes wearing slim-fitting shirts impossible. Of course this is all due to my upper-body being the size of like a ten year olds. Yeah. Fun. And all *that* is due to being sick as a kid.

I'm pretty good at disguising it though - friens always tell me I look fine (sweet eh?)- all I can say to them is "hey, you've never seen me naked so don't start!" Hahahaha. Anyway.

I have had people say things like "oh my god you're SO thin, are you anorexic?" It drives me nuts because who walks up to someone who's *overweight* and says "Oh My god, you're SO fat; do you eat to much?" Gah! But that hasn't happened in years.

-- Anonymous, April 27, 2000

Pamie, you DO NOT have a huge-ass forhead. Eric has a much bigger forhead than you -- even proportionately to his head... but you don't see him worrying about it, do you? No. HA! (Eric, if you read this, you don't really have a huge-ass forhead either. I'm just talking to Pamie here, making her feel better... with some *truths*. Don't hate me or get mad, ok? You don't even know me, so who cares what I think? Well, Pamie, you do, because all I have to say is good about you... oh, and Eric, too, because he seems like some kind of Superman Boyfriend or something... anyway. This is getting out of hand. I digress.)

Your entry made me go back to look at the pictures entry from last summer. Pamie, do you know what the first thing I thought when I saw that was? "What a pretty chin." I envy all people with nice "pointy-chins." Intense envy. Then the second thing I thought was "she has great eyebrows, too. No fair!" So don't touch the eyebrows, they're fine and dandy.

If I can give you any advice at all that you would listen to, it would be DON'T GET BANGS. You will regret it. And they take FOREVER to grow out. And they DO make you look younger. So I would say, forget it.

You know what I'm concerned about (although I have to admit, I'm getting much better about all this)? Besides eyebrows, forhead, chin, ears, etc.? My smile -- my gums show when I smile -- I wish I had enough teeth to fill my huge smile. The dentist said he could cut my maxilla (upper jaw) to do it, but that it would be purely cosmetic, with no dental safety value. I opted against it. The pain's not worth it. But... I still wonder.

Oh, and I would like a tall-ish thin-ish short-haired nice-glasses-wearing alternative-ish intelligent boy with soft skin and smiling eyes. Yeah, that's specific.

Pamie, one last thing. Who cares what boys want. It's what YOU want.

And you're super-pretty, so hush about your so-called forhead problem.

-- Anonymous, April 27, 2000

I like nice feet. Not too hairy, not too flat, you know. I like when my husband wears jeans and bare feet around the house. Something about the line of the jeans hem, isn't that weird?

Funny thing is, when we first started going out I told him he had nice feet and he was inordinately pleased. Like, suppose people started randomly calling out to Pamie on the street, "Hey, nice forehead! God, that's sexy! Better than fatty deposits on the eye!" She'd be awfully happy, right? He was that happy. Turns out he's got a real thing about feet and wouldn't go out with someone who had ugly feet.

On the down side, I have a round face and he says I look like an acorn. It doesn't really bug me because it's so odd. And I have pretty nice feet too.

-- Anonymous, April 27, 2000

hmmm, let's see. no one has really mentioned their weight on this forum, but i would have to say that i am inordinately obsessed with being thin because my mom has an over active thyroid and has been struggling with her weight for years. so, that *does* have a rather large effect on me. and i therefore have this completely distorted view of my body. disregarding the whole weight/thighs/butt issue, i think i have really ugly knees. they are all weird and i think they look like they have all this extra skin on them, or fatty deposits in them or something. ick. plus, i am slightly knock-kneed, which does not add to their attractiveness at all... and my calf muscles...whoa, THEY are strange, they are built up in strange ways because i have been horse back riding for ten years and the muscles used in riding are a lot different from ones used in any other type of excercise. i actually get paranoid about my knees and my calves. i like my hands and feet though, they are really little and delicate. i am 5'6", and my feet are a size six. and my ex- boyfriend once told me that i have the hands of an 8 year old, they are so tiny. it's funny, when ever someone shakes my hand, they will be like, "oh, my god, your hands are soooo little."

in the opposite sex, i like tallness. i used to never date guys shorter than me, partly because the issue never came up, but partly because i felt like an amazon, but my boyfriend now is a good inch and a half shorter than me. now i say, whatever, we just be like tom cruise and nicole kidman. i don't mind being a giraffe. i don't like hairiness, but i don't mind hair. like, if a guy looks like he is wearing a rug, then i don't go for it, but a little bit doesn't bother me in the least. mostly, i go for types that can't be typed. if that makes sense. it's sort of more the over all picture that i take in, but laughs and voices are very sexy to me, if a guy has a sexy laugh or accent (my boy now is italian, he he), watch out. and hands, and feet. i really don't like ugly feet. but if a guy is a little on the heavier side, it doesn't bother me in the least, and i really HATE super muscley guys. well, not them personally, but the look. ok, i am now rambling pointlessly in a post that no one *really* cares about, so i am going to go.

oh, and pamie, by the way, your forehead and chin are just fine, and DON'T TOUCH THE EYEBROWS. :)

-- Anonymous, April 27, 2000

Okay I'm not seeing a huge number of guys contributing on this one. Frankly, I don't blame you. This is a touchy subject because you ladies tend to overreact. So I am going out on a limb and risk getting flamed to present my opinions.

DO NOT freak out about that "last 5lbs." whatever that crap is about. Personally I would rather have the 5 lbs. there. Give you an example, anyone see a movie called Circle of Friends? It had Minnie Driver there about 30 lbs over what she weighs now. (note, I did NOT say overweight) I thought she was a hottie in that one. The next movie I saw with her was Grosse Pointe Blank, where she was thin as a rail. Guess what? Not interested in the slightest. relax already.

Foreheads? Never saw someone and went "Oh my god, that is a freakishly large forehead. I can't finish my meal because that forehead is just that huge" Pamie your forehead is fine.

Fingernails? Hmmm. If they're clean and not ragged or bleeding. fine by me. I actually don't like long nails or nail polish, though i will tolerate it occasionally. Cuticles? what are those anyway? My fingernails grow quickly so i let them get a little long before cutting them, but I am meticulous about keeping them clean.

Eyebrows? Well there should be two, if there's only one, fix that. Other than that, it's all good.

Bottom line, relax. Life is too damn short for this shit. You look fine all of you. Those jeans do not make you look fat. Oh, and Pamie, I looked at that picture entry someone else posted. You are a total hottie, what are you bitching about? *put on flame retardant*

-- Anonymous, April 27, 2000

Oddly enough, hands. I like hands that look like they've been worked with. Not completely smooth, not totally battery acid, but hands that look like they could go out rock climbing or to the opera and not be out of place.

-- Anonymous, April 27, 2000

so i have this thing with my legs. like i dont have any ankles. at all. its a freaking genetic deformity, all the women in my moms side have these trunks extending from tiny little waists. very odd- looking. also i have scars all over me [mosquitoes love me], since im pale and anemic. but i sorta like it that way.

i like skinny sad-looking boys but always seem to end up dating very effeminant ones. i'm scared of the skinny sad ones. punk rock [not plaid, leather and 'hawks, but nice emo boys. wearing tank tops and big jeans] is beautiful sometimes. anyhow. my boyfriends are always the ones who are people say, oh, i thought he was gay.

in girls i like big eyes and nice hair and small, thin faces. weight matters not depending on how one carries oneself. i like pale, contrasting with fake dark red or black hair. and i thin eyebrows though i dont have them. do have the pale skin/fake red hair thing goin though. it works for me.

-- Anonymous, April 27, 2000

Things that I don't like about my self? For starters, I hate hate hate my butt. It used to be so lovely, all round and smooth like an apple. Now it's droopy and dimpled and just gross. I hate it. I'm working on it, but it doesn't seem to be getting any better. Another thing I really worry about, and guys, please, let me know if y'all notice this or not, but I have these bumps on my nipples. They're called "Montgomery Glands" or somthing, and I think their whole purpose in life is to allow babies to latch on better. All well and good, but I don't want 'em on my chest! I don't have babies and I won't for many more years. They're not big, but they do look rather like little moles or something. Also, because they're openings into my body, occasionally they collect dead skin and stuff, so sometimes (I can't believe I'm going to admit this) I have to um..squeeze the stuff out. It's not that much stuff, and it's not like a pimple, it's just a tiny little sqooosh of stuff. It's gross and I hate it. I'm always afraid that one day a new man will spot them and say "OH MY GOD WHAT IS ON YOUR BOOB?!" in a horribly freaked out tone of voice and run away. That would be horrible. They're a normal part of the body, I get that. I don't like 'em though. Guys, Gals - any experience with them?

As for what I like on men...mmm..Well, I guess I like everything. :o) But to narrow it down.. I like a guy who dresses with care. I don't want a fashion plate, but he should take as much care with his appearance as I do. Especially if we're going out on the town. I love a guy with big strong hands, with subtle callouses. I just imagine how goooooood they'll feel on my skin. I'm really drawn to a man with a nice rear end too. Gotta have a tight, hot booty. Guys should also have clean mouths. I can deal with someone who's teeth aren't perfectly white, but damnit all, they'd better be CLEAN. And not 'spitty'. I hate guys who spit little bits when they talk, or who can close their mouth and open it again and there will be a string of spit from one lip to the other. *shudder* Gross. I adore men with a nicely furred chest, as long as they don't look like they're wearing a sweater when they're not. I really like athletic guys, especially when they've got nice sculpted furry legs. I just want to take off my shoes and rub my bare legs on their bare legs for a while. Lately, I've been really drawn to olive toned men. I love the way a natuarally dark guy looks with his flashing dark eyes and dark wavy hair and a crisp white shirt against his dark golden skin. Ummmmmmmmm

Ok, like I said, I like everything about guys.

-- Anonymous, April 28, 2000

Jennifer -

You're right, no one should comment about your weight - it's rude. However, you are very much mistaken if you think no one goes up to fat people and makes comments about how much they eat and how fat they are. It happened to me more than once in my fat days.

Sad, but true.


-- Anonymous, April 28, 2000

Pamie....do NOT touch your eyebrows. I have a friend that asked me about hers and I told her to leave them alone, but that if she HAD to mess with 'em....waxing is the only way to go. So she did....and she's been futhermuckin' me ever since. Leave 'em alone.

Things I hate about me.....my butt...it's huge. It's not 2 axe handles wide or anything...it's just a big 'ol butt. oh and I hate my feet...but I hate feet in general, so that's not saying much. Gee, and I didn't think I was the forehead monster, but I guess I have a big 'ol forehead, too. I did the palm test. Oy.

I often notice mouths first....lips and teeth are usually the first things I'll check out on a guy. Nice, clean teeth are a must.

I have to go with whoever it was that made the comment about guys torso and waist. mmmmhmmmm. Those little indentions right below their waist....bayBEE. Shoulders.....not big huge muscley ones, but nicely defined onces. uh huh.

This really isn't a body part, but I hate guys that wear too much cologne. I like cologne, but I don't like the whole bottle at one time.

That and can rings. YUCK!

-- Anonymous, April 28, 2000

Can rings? What's that?

-- Anonymous, April 28, 2000

Great. I just did the forehead test. Thanks a million, Pamie! I'm a monster!

Woman, leave your brows alone. You are flirting with disaster the minute you start playing around with the eyebrows.

As far as the nails thing goes - I have always sort of been sad about my hands because I do not have naturally pretty nails and was always too embarrassed to get a manicure like, I didn't want the Korean nail technician to snicker to her friends about my hands.

Last year, my best friend got married and I just decided to go all OUT for her wedding. I had been doing Tae Bo for months and decided to look my level best. I had a facial (hurt like a MOTHER, yo) and then had my horrible, bitten, picked-at nails done.

I have been getting manicures ever since! It is pretty much the only girlie thing I do. I love it. I just go to the cheapie places and, it's like 10 bucks every two weeks. Totally worth it!

What do I look for in a guy? Hmm. Brains. Mad conversational skills. Dark hair - I don't know...nice eyes? My only real requirement on the physical side is that he be taller than me - and I'm six feet tall so, I am rigid with that rule.

-- Anonymous, April 28, 2000

Tracey - I can't *believe* that! I don't understand people sometimes. Actually I get comments all the time because I look 4 or 5 - or TEN years younger then I am. I'm 26 and everyone thinks I'm 16. It's worse on the days I'm feeling lazy and dress like a damn Delhia's ad - the days I dress like a grown up I get treated like one. I've had problems being served in stores and restaurants, sales people have been rude to me - all because they thought I was a teenager. Now why are they treating kids like that in the first place? And then why are they surprised when the teens are rude? Drives me bonkers. I remember once I got on the bus at my college - it stopped right out front - and I was with a friend. The bus was PACKED solid with students, but my girl and I managed to get a seat - right next to a complete moron. This girl - speaking very loudly - said "You don't *really* go to this school to you? Are you visiting a parent? What are you doing getting on this bus?" And I of course said that I am in fact a student at the *college* and catch the bus every day. And then she really got started - "Oh my god how OLD are you? You look *so* young! You look 12! That's unbelievable! Are you a gifted student? Did you skip grades? I just can't believe it!" It got worse when I told her how old I really was (23). I did get quite a few sympathetic looks from fellow riders. But *what* the hell?

Oh and I just wanted to add to the opposite sex poll - *shoulders*. I *hate* slopping shoulders too. I love it when you can see the shoulders move under the t-shirt. Not boney, but those shoulder blades just subtley present under cotton. Oh *my gawd*. Also, a good back. This guy I'm dating right now has a *delicious* back. And it's nothing crazy - I don't dig that whole muscular look (ick) - he's just slim and smells good. Smell is a big thing. I have an oversensitive nose and extreme cologne drives me cuckoo too!

Oh and he'd better have a good sense of humour - and like to laugh - and not be anal and uptight.

Gee. I thought I didn't have a lot of things that I looked for - I thought I was pretty demanding. But I just realized I could go on and on...

The dancing thing is big with me too.

Oh there's so much more. But maybe that's me getting into describing my ideal.

And what don't I notice? I didn't mention that. For me, if there's chemistry, looks rarely even enter it. As long as sparks fly, I hardly care what the guy looks like. One guy that I date on occaision is not what I'd consider attractive. But he has killer charisma - must be that confidence thing - and oh *man* the air just like, crackles between us. And that does it for me.

-- Anonymous, April 28, 2000

Can rings are what guys get when they dip. Copenhagen or whatever.

They usually have the can rings one the back pockets of their jeans....which means they are dippers.

ick. yuck. pooey.

-- Anonymous, April 28, 2000

Thanks for the definition of can rings, but I still don't understand it because I don't know what dipping is.

-- Anonymous, April 28, 2000

ok I just read what I posted and realize that maybe I should have explained that better.

Copenhagen comes in these little round cans....when guys dip, they usually stick them in their back pocket and over time, the ring from the can is outlined on the pocket. So, that means I have to check out a guy's ass, too. Only for the can ring, I swear!

Ok, I hope that helped.

Oh, I forgot to mention facial hair. I know this is so 5 years ago, but I love goatees. I don't like those weird icky ones, though.

-- Anonymous, April 28, 2000

Dipping is using "dip" tobacco - some people call it snuff, but they put it between their gum and check, they don't sniff it.

Alli's right - it's big-time disgusting.

It occurs to me that I've posted a couple of times to this thread without saying what I like in a man - well, height (6 feet or better), nice broad shoulders, and narrow waist and hips. The swimmer's physique someone else mentioned is great. Put a guy like that in a black turtleneck and sport coat, and I'm a puddle.

The only absolute non-negotiable, though, is hygiene. He'd better brush his teeth and wash up; if he's normally clean-shaven, I prefer he not skip a day of that, either (stubble *hurts,* guys). I'll take short guys, dumpy guys, bald guys, but if you have fuzzy teeth and stink, go away. (Yeah, I've met some like that. Ish.)

-- Anonymous, April 28, 2000

That's "gum and cheek," not "check."

Sheesh. It's Friday.

-- Anonymous, April 28, 2000

Oh Lord. I'm sounding more and more like a hick.

cue 'the dueling banjos' here.....

Copenhagen, Skoal and the like is chewing tobacco. Well, it's like really fine chewing tobacco that guys (and some girls, from what I hear) will take a little bit of and put in between their cheek and gum....and they have to spit all the fricken time.

That's what 'dipping' is.

It stinks and it's nasty.

-- Anonymous, April 28, 2000

I just added a "turn-offs" question on the forum since people were so nastified about dipping. I figure that goes beyond body type.

-- Anonymous, April 28, 2000

Chewing tobacco, my. I was so sure it was sexual. I was about to run off and search the kink sites for mentions of dipping.

-- Anonymous, April 28, 2000

It's kinda silly to talk about parts individually because it is how they fit together that matters. Confidence and intelligence are more attractive than any forehead or pair of eyebrows can be. We don't really notice these things unless attention is drawn to them. We do not notice five pounds. We do notice you freaking out over five pounds. Good things are: painted toe nails, smooth legs (yeah--we know it is a pain in the ass, but we do appreciate not cuddling up next to a porcupine), and trimmed pubes. I mean, if you want us down there don't make us pick hair out of our teeth. Bad things are long finger nails (we always get scratched by them and we hate when you wine about breaking them), heavy lip stick (ends up everywhere), and hair so thick with spray that it crunches when touched.

Pamie, you have a beautiful face. There is absolutely nothing wrong with it.

-- Anonymous, April 28, 2000

Appearance:

I look at the eyes first, then the legs (I must confess that I like a pair of pretty legs and always have) and then the rest. Breast size, whether large or small, doesn't make much of an impression on me.

I've noticed I tend to go for brunettes.

Personality:

She has to read, or at least be reasonably literate. If she hates to open a book, she's not for me.

It's good if she has a sense of humor, and better if she's totally unpredictable, because I'll never get bored.

So this May I'll celebrate my twentieth anniversary with a southern dark-haired beauty with eyes that are big and dark and that you can fall into, with beautiful legs, and who reads Stephen King, Harlan Ellison, and Donald Westlake...and who, after twenty years, I still don't know what she's going to do from one moment to the next....

I'm never bored. Smartest thing I ever did was saying "I do" to her.

---Al of NOVA NOTES.

-- Anonymous, April 28, 2000

First STOP Just stop worrying about, what you think, that other people think, that you look like.

If you have a partner/spouse/good friend just ASK, listen to them and believe what they have to say. We will tell you if you are embarrassing your self or need to look into fixing something. We care about you and will tell you the truth. Then stop bugging every one about your insecurities. 99% of the time they are all in your head. My bet is that most people will agree with me when I say

"If you feel comfortable about your self others will accept and love you."

Second Stop arguing with your friends/lovers/spouses when you inquire

"Do you think I look good/cute/ok/sexy"

When we tell you look good that what we think. Everything else is in YOUR head.

Questions that shouldn't be asked 1) Does this make me look too thin/fat? 2) Should I cut/dye my hare? 3) I think I should loose/gain a few pounds, what do you think? 4) Do you wish I were Taller/Shorter/Thinner/A (red head/Blond/Brunet)?

You don't really want an answer, and if we are stupid enough to give you an answer, you will not believe it anyway.

Fact "If we really care about you we will tell you what looks nice or what does not" Stop worrying.

As far as my taste in mates, What you are asking is a snap shot of what people feel right now at this time in there lives. It Changes.

I know that when I was young and hormone infested I would chase anything that gave me any possibility of a potential sexual encounter. I aged and my tastes changes, less physical more intellectual. I have been lucky that all of the ladies I have had long term relationships have been attractive to me. Say maybe that has something to do with what we notice, do you think?

My wife and I met 10 years ago. I admit I was attracted to her physically at first. Luckily for me she was also intelligent, witty, soft, loving, caring, and so on. Now that we are aging together I don't seem to notice all the things that she complains about. No she does not look 25 anymore but I think she is more beautiful then ever. Tastes change, we age, things that were important are less so the older we get, we find new enjoyments, new pleasures with our significant others.

Just live life, and don't sweat the small stuff. We love you for who you are. Forehead, finger nails and all

-- Anonymous, April 29, 2000

Dark hair, full lips, and ears that stick out. That's all I ask!

-- Anonymous, April 29, 2000

Good answer Don.

I always say to my female friends as well, if you have a lot of issues about looks, Do not take your mate clothes shopping with you. By the very nature of it you are puting us in a bad place.

Out of the dressing room you come and first words "how do I look in this?" You have just asked (axed if you are from a trailer park)us to look at you in a criticle manner. Bad news for you both and may end in domestic violence.

I have a woman friend that I go shopping with because she never askes (axes, for the talk show audience members) my opinion. She is no playmate, hooters girl, or covergirl but carries herself in a confidant manner and enjoys herself and smiles all the time. I could watch her try on clothes all day.

-- Anonymous, April 29, 2000

Uhmm, yeah. I think 'most' of the guys who have posted are a pretty close approximation of what You can expect the majority of guys to think..at least guys that You would actually be smart to hook up with. Herein lies a problem though. Most ~pretty~ boys(that I see mentioned as ideal boy toys herein) want a ~*pretty*~ girl too. As in pretty shallow; just like them. Just one hairy, 6'3", long-haired, big-assed, dimples, full-lipped, clean, perfect toothed, blue-eyed, blonde, huge feet..did I mention hairy?, guys opinion though. Most guys just do not care about these things that bother most of You. I PROMISE. If they do than they are not worth Your time. Of course if You care about ALL of those things on your man..then of course expect to find a like-minded mate. Damn..I am rambling...uhmm.
Leave Your eyebrows alone. They rock. If the chin hair is a half inch long we might notice; otherwise leave it alone. I would rather see that hair once in awhile than to see a scab where You drew blood trying to get a hair that I would be hard pressed to see under a microscope..let alone normal, unmagnified daylight. I personally do not mind the nipple hair, a close kin to the chin hair. Of course that is just me. Believe me..more women have this than You think. Nipple bumps-At least 85% of people..men and women, have them. Leave them alone. They are part of the whole naked package that we like. Again..Au Natural is better than inflamed, bleeding, picked at skin. You know how much weight someone has to put on or take off relatively before I really begin to notice? About fifty pounds..I am not kidding here. Even You 90 pounders..if You put on twenty pounds..I would never know. Quit obsessing about it. For every one guy who HAS to have that tight little body on his lady..there are 25 who will love You just the way that You are..AND not only love You, but think that You are HOT, HOT, HOT. Move on to the nicer, less shallow fish. Patrick had some good things to say..read it..believe it. Nobody, that doesn't have some compulsion, notices these things that bother You and make You crazy about Yourself every day. And noooo, I don't want to hear the "but I just care about my appearance" excuse one more time. Accentuate what You know makes You look good, do what You need to feel healthy, and ignore the rest. That self-confidence that comes from knowledge and acceptance of who You are and how You look..is the BIGGEST turn on. MMMmmm..I love a secure woman. Needy and obsessive sucks, just like it does on a guy.
I'm sure I should have used more html here. Did I mention long-winded and opinionated with that long, nasty, hairy list? Peace to Your cosmetic souls. ;^D

-- Anonymous, April 29, 2000

Can I just ask..what is a 'british smile'? A bad thing, it seems...

I have the chin hair thing too. Just one really coarse white one that always somes back in the same spot and you don't notice till its really long and then its 'ew! tweezers!' And one or two black ones round the belly that get tweezed too. I did hear it may have something to do with being on the pill. Anyone know about this?

-- Anonymous, April 30, 2000

Ever see the Simpsons when Lisa gets her braces? The Scary Dentist shows Ralph, who doesn't want to brush his teeth, the Big Book of British Smiles to scare him into it. A "british smile" is a nickname for bad/crooked/nasty teeth.

-- Anonymous, April 30, 2000

Oh ladies...dontcha know you're all gorgeous, every last one of ya?? I'm a photographer, I spend hours & hours with commercial models, and 99% of 'em are just kinda... lacking something. There's just a lack of the quirky sense of character I get from all of those little details that you ladies are posting as your "flaws".

Yes, to get our attention, you need to smell decent (or just be odor-free) be a little flirty and outgoing (since most of us men, deep down, are utterly convinced we have all the sex appeal of a burn victim), at least work on not being a sumo wrestler, and let us get a look at who you are.

Of all the interesting, kind, and intellegent women I'm fond of, I don't know one whom I don't find beautiful. I ain't trying to be smarmy here folks--even my 200lb+ lady friend with the bad wig is just so cocky and delightful and cool and such a total, creative smartass, that I'd be glad to buy her a nice dinner (she's already taken though).

Just be nice to us pitiful men, remind us how much this planet would suck without you, and we'll be putty in your hands. Giant foreheads, velcro eyebrows, nipple-hairs/nipple-dots, saddle bags, little boobs, saggy boobs, whatever ya got... rest assured we have something even more disfigured, and your little quirk will become a treasured little trademark to us. And let me again thank you all, for not staging the armed revolt so many of us deserve, locking us all in breeding pens and taking over the world. We'd let ya, you know. We're pretty stupid.

On second thought, that breeding pen thing migh

-- Anonymous, April 30, 2000

I too have a tall forehead; my older sister once said, "You don't have a forehead, you have a fivehead." Mean. My mother always said that a tall forehead was a sign of aristocracy.

-- Anonymous, May 01, 2000

I look for the combination of hair and skin. I love redheads and blondes who have pearly white skin with freckles. Alicia Witt and Claire Danes are my type. I've never been into brunettes. I also prefer long hair on women. Its good if they're 5'4 to 5'9, though I've been infatuated with a few 6'2 redheads.. I love legs, especially when framed in a tennis skirt. I'm very picky about legs - they can't be too skinny or too fat. I'm fine with any type of breasts. Eyebrows, I could care less about unless they're very prominent. Same with the forehead. I prefer medium length fingernails.

-- Anonymous, May 01, 2000

Hey Lindsay, sorry i'm reading this a little late, but i wanted to tell you this:

you made me feel good, 'cause reading your post [or one of your posts, i dunno yet], I realised I HAVE myself a "tall-ish thin-ish short-haired nice-glasses-wearing alternative-ish intelligent boy with soft skin and smiling eyes"...

I'm so happy :-) [Oh, and it doesn't matter too much to him that I weigh 140 Lbs for 5'4'' [if I have my american measures correct]]

I guess i'm just lucky!

-- Anonymous, May 02, 2000

The first thing I ever notice about women are their hair. I like long really thick hair that is NOT covered in a thick layer of hair spray.

That's related to the second thing I notice. How much make-up she's wearing. I guess I'm sort of a naturalist, because I prefer women who do not put a bunch of make-up on. The most beautiful women I've ever seen I saw when they weren't wearing make-up. Which sort of relates to the eyebrow thing too...I'd rather they were just left alone. I tend to be of the opinion that people should just accept who they are. Silly me, hmm?

I also tend to find boniness quite unattractive. I'm not saying I think women should be overweight, but good golly, why not have a little bit of skin on those bones? I prefer healthy, living, breathing people to skeletons.

-Tel

-- Anonymous, May 02, 2000

I'm another one of the people who say it's a gestalt thing and they don't look at specific features first. After the first impression, I will look for and obsess about specific features, but I'm not aware of evaluating them at the time. Except possibly for voices.

No one else has mentioned this, but I sometimes find slight asymmetries attractive - I'm talking about things at the level of crooked smiles, moles, one eyebrow higher than the other. It makes me wonder about those psychological studies saying that people find symmetrical faces most attractive. Maybe I'm a freak and an evolutionary mistake, but perfect faces seem boring to me.

-- Anonymous, May 03, 2000

Dear Jennifer,

You don't know me (I'm not weird or anything), but I was reading some stuff you wrote in Squishy's forum, about being skinny from surgery, and MY GOD THAT IS EXACTLY LIKE ME. I had congestive heart failure before I was 2 months old, and was in the hospital for the first 15 months of my life. I have tracheotomy scars, massive scarring on my stomach (I can't wear a bikini in this lifetime--I'm 18 btw), IV scars on my hands, and scars on my ankle, elbow crease, and back of my knee from all the tubes they stuffed up me. I am also very short and skinny (though taller than you), and people used to ask me if I was anorexic back in middle school--I was 4' 6" under 60 lbs. (currently I'm 5' 2" 96 lbs). Also, one of my shoulders is higher than the other (though that's just from wearing a backpack the wrong way for many years), and it affects my posture...I've got a bit of a hunchback, though it's only noticeable when I wear tank tops. My legs are short in proportion to my body, and I always have to have my damn pants shortened about 8 inches before they fit (I celebrated today after finding a pair of pants that fit me, in under five minutes...that's NEVER happened before). It's really hard for me to gain weight too...yesterday I had two hot dogs with cheese, chili and mayo, two non-diet root beers, a donut, fries and a lot of ice cream...and I somehow managed to LOSE four lbs! Argh! The most I've ever gained at once was 10 lbs in two months, when I was about 15, and that was only cause puberty reared its ugly head. This whole e- mail probably has no purpose behind it, but I swear you sound so much like me (right down to the temporary pixie cut--I had mine last year), it bordered on deja vu, and I had to e-mail you about it. Thanks for listening to the ravings of a maniac, --Freya Lorelei

-- Anonymous, May 27, 2000

Oh, and as for the likes and dislikes thing, I like the Brits...hell, I like British, Scots, Irish, Australian, New Zealand...I think you get the point. If the "R"s are soft, I love em. Intellect, I LOVE intellect. Button-down professor types. Oh, and I have a bit of a thing for Adam's apples...they're just nice, aren't they? Something nice and exotic, that only guys have. Well, besides the obvious :) And I love scents...I have a pretty developed sense of smell, and it's one of the first things I notice. I know that's weird, but that's me.

-- Anonymous, May 27, 2000