So I have to tender my resignation in a couple of weeks, and they're never going to see it coming. I'm having massive attacks of guilt, interspersed with "I can't wait to blow this popsicle stand"!

Any advice? What's the best way to go about this? Anybody have any horror stories / success stories as far as quitting goes? And just how the hell do I stick it out another whole month?

-- Anonymous, May 05, 2000

Answers

wow this is funny, b/c I'm planning on moving to Seattle over the summer and will have to do a similar thing... but two other developers at this office have joined AND left during the past year, so at least I will have been there a little longer...

Anyway I really have no idea either what to say. One of the guys left on good terms, and in fact invited us all to a party at his house last week, but the other guy gave two DAYS notice, and moved to South Carolina like that.

-- Anonymous, May 05, 2000

Well, you stick out the last month by knowing that the end is in sight! I'm in a similar situation, in a job I dislike intensely, but I know I'm outta here as soon as I finish my Master's next year. Makes the world of difference.(

IMHO, the best way to quit is to be professional. Do not tell them to take this job and shove it, no matter how tempting it may be. Do not tell off your soon-to-be-former boss, no matter how richly he/she deserves it. Ditto for your co-workers.

The reason for all this is that burning bridges is a Very Bad Idea. You may run into these people professionally once again (in some industries, you are guaranteed to run into former co-workers) and you don't want them remembering you badly. You also don't want them bad- mouthing you to other people in your industry.

I don't think you need to feel guilty, either. You have every right to quit, as long as you don't steal the retirement fund as you leave.

And, hey, good luck!

-- Anonymous, May 05, 2000

My last company had exit interviews for all resigning employees. HR made the mistake of giving me the questionnaire in advance, instead of filling it out during the meeting. They gave it to me on a bad day. I filled it out when I was in "a mood." And since I was moving into an entirely different field in another state, I felt like being honest. There's a reason why I'll never go back to tech support.

The form had three lines to answer the question, "What suggestions would you make to improve the company?"

I took two and a half pages.

-- Anonymous, May 05, 2000

Remember, you can love the company with all your heart, but the company will never love you back.

Do what you have to do, remain professional about it and have no regrets. That's my advice. Of course, on the last day of my previous job, I broke all the rules on the last day. (And I was the boss, for one more day, anyway.) So my advice is somewhat tainted by my own unprofessional behavior. Story of my life...

-- Anonymous, May 06, 2000

Less is more.

I had a bad experience involving an "executive vice president" at my last job, but I didn't feel the need to blame my immediate supervisor for the actions of those above her. So I just privately told my immediate boss I was leaving and then turned in an "official" notification that said "I have accepted a job at (blank). My last day here will be (date)."

Quick, to the point, and painless.

-- Anonymous, May 07, 2000

Leigh Anne,

Funny you should mention this. I can't remember if I told my story on Squishy, as it all happened rather quickly. After months of being overworked, underpaid and underappreciated, that is. The final showdown went helter skelter for a few days, then resolved in a way I never could've forseen.

First, though I had ignored friends' advice to leave because I dread job-hunting, I received a job offer without even trying. It found me. They first contacted me on a Wednesday, cancelled the interview we'd scheduled Thursday, and wanted me to decide on Friday to start the following Monday, without having met anyone involved. Though it would've fulfilled a great revenge fantasy, I didn't want my boss to come back from vacation on Monday to find out I had quit. Talk about burning a bridge!

Still, the other job offer boosted my confidence, I realized I wasn't stuck in my job, wasn't unemployable, as many at my company are led to believe. Given a peek at what was possible, I wanted even more. I decided to hand in my resignation that Monday. A friend called and told me not to, he had overheard someone discussing my severance package.

Little did I know, other drama was brewing behind closed doors. Well, I knew something was going on with two months of closed-door meetings, I just had no idea what. Turns out my boss was unhappy, too and had decided to quit, effectively eliminating my position as well. The final resolution (on the Ides of March, no less!) happened just a week after I was first contacted by that other job. It was the most topsy-turvy week of my life. St. Patrick's Day was my last day of work.

The best part was I was "laid off," not fired...I've never been fired and didn't want to start now, though I didn't give a fuck, as long as I was out of that awful job. I used the month's severance pay I received to fulfill a life-long dream of travelling across the US. Thanks to Britney Spears for selling all those damn records! Even got to meet Pamie on my way across (from New York to California). I didn't see as many places as I planned to, but having a month off to ponder my next step was incredible. Too often, I have taken that first job offer and ended up somewhere I hate. No mas. I also had two weeks to wander the streets of New York, remembering what I loved about it.

Monday begins my ninth, glorious week of unemployment. I've got to be the most happy person they ever got rid of...I thanked my boss profusely "for hiring and firing me." He's very well-connected in the New Media industry, so this was definately a bridge I didn't want to burn. Plus, he's a brilliant and great guy -- the problem, in the end, was the company.

Part of the problem was my bosses' boss. He thought all I did was answer my boss's phone, so he didn't want my boss to approve overtime, a raise, a promotion, etc. He had no idea that, in addition to performing all admin functions for the entire department (not just my boss), I also produced artist web sites, proofread, troubleshot code, etc., etc. My boss would try to tell him what I did, but the man saw me as a secretary (I'd worked for him for two months when his assistant was out), period. The company has an awful track record in terms of promoting from within, so it became clear I wasn't going anywhere, no matter how much I took on, how late I worked or how well I did.

As for your resignation letter, definately keep it straightforward. I agree with Rob, you really don't want to burn that bridge. Life is really funny and, even if you don't think that person will ever affect your life again, you never know. When I was 15, I befriended my favorite band. I'm 28 now. I never planned to get into the music industry, but I did. The new media industry didn't exist when I was 15, so I never could've forseen ending up in the new media department at a record label, right?

The singer from the band is now the editor of an alternative music industry magazine. Their former manager is now the head of one of the top band/music portals. His former assistant is also a bigwig at a new media company. The last two are important contacts for my boss. In addition, Britney's product manager loved the band and, in the '80s and early '90s was always asking the manager if she could be their publicist. It's a small, freakin' world.

It helped me a great deal to get all the frustrations out in a long, rambling, psuedo-resignation letter. The final version I planned to turn in was much more direct and less emotional. I did go a bit into how many hours I put in, that I could no justify putting in that kind of time while not getting the overtime pay or recognition. Even still, the final letter was a far cry from what I'd started out with. Of course, I didn't completely take my own advise and got a bit personal in my goodbye letter.

Just cover your ass and give the full two weeks notice, or whatever is required/expected in your state/company. Good luck, whatever you do.

-- Anonymous, May 07, 2000

Leigh I just put in my resignation last week - just 2 weeks after starting work for another part of the company. I was terrified of their reaction, not only with the timing but the fact that I was leaving to work for their main competitor. But it turned out fine! They were cruisy about it... really supportive about my decision, understanding it was an opportunity thing etc. Unlike my new place of employment who are getting progressively angry with me because I wasn't turfed out on the spot as expected, hense delaying my start date with them. Now I'm petrified of them instead. Ahh, gotta love work politics...

-- Anonymous, May 07, 2000

Thanks for all the words of wisdom, guys. Rob, I particularly like yours: Remember, you can love the company with all your heart, but the company will never love you back.

That's so true. Not that I'm tremendously enamored with my current employer, but I don't begrudge them anything. I'm paranoid that after I let them know I'm leaving, they'll treat me badly. (Probably not to my face, but I'll know it's there.) I suppose it doesn't really matter, it's only short-term. I've never burned any bridges before, even when it's been very tempting. I don't intent to start now.

They're going to perceive that I'm leaving them in a lurch, but well, I can't help it. I've only been here 10 months, but it's time to go. I'm not giving my notice for another two weeks, so it's hard hanging around, being assigned projects I know I won't be able to finish...

-- Anonymous, May 08, 2000

I just gave my two weeks to a place that has earned a reputation for srewing its past employees. But whatever they do is on their own heads. I'm only responsible for myself so I was honest and gave them enough notice. I did not tell them what i thought of their horrible treatment of their employees because I've been diplomatically trying to change things there for a full year. It hasn't made a bit of difference. Stangely enough, they are being very supportive when I was certain i'd be the pariah until I left. Keep it simple and to the point. You are no responsible for them. Do what you think is right and you will be in good shape. Good lu

-- Anonymous, May 08, 2000

I just quit my job, and while I felt really bad about doing it, it wasn't really that hard. I just walked in one morning, told my boss, "I have bad news..." and that was it. I had a little conversation with him where we discussed aspects of my job, what type of person I think he should hire to replace me, and what could be done to make my job better. He also offered me more money to stay, but I told him that considering that I'm actually taking a slight pay cut at the new job, that wouldn't really work for me.

My advice is, just be honest. And don't feel super-loyal to your company, because you can bet your butt they don't feel super-loyal to you.

-- Anonymous, May 08, 2000