Some one sent these and they are definately an FRL post!

Diane, still smiling

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Cat Haikus...

You never feed me.
Perhaps I'll sleep on your face.
That will show you.

You must scratch me there!
Yes, above my tail! Behold,
Elevator butt.

I need a new toy.
Tail of black dog keeps good time.
Pounce! good dog! good dog!

The rule for today.
Touch my tail, I shred your hand.
New rule tomorrow.

In deep sleep hear sound
Cat vomit hairball somewhere.
Will find in morning.

Grace personified
I leap into the window;
I meant to do that

Blur of motion, then--
Silence, me, a paper bag
What is so funny?

The mighty hunter
Returns with gifts of plump birds
Your foot just squashed one.

You're always typing.
Well, let's see you ignore my
Sitting on your hands

My small cardboard box
You cannot see me if I
Can just hide my head.

Terrible battle
I fought for hours. Come and see!
What's a 'term paper'?

Kitty likes plastic,
Confuses for litter box.
Don't leave tarp around

Small brave carnivores
Kill pine cones and mosquitos,
Fear vacuum cleaner

Want to trim my claws
Don't even think about it!
My yelps will wake the dead

I want to be close
To you. Can I fit my head
inside your armpit?

Wanna go outside.
Oh, no! Help! I got outside!
Let me back inside!

Litter box not here
You must have moved it again
I'll crap in the sink

The Big Ones snore now
Every room is dark and cold
time for "Cup Hockey"

We're almost equals
I purr to show I love you
Feed me now

###

-- Diane J. Squire (sacredspaces@yahoo.com), May 07, 2000

Answers

Dog Haiku

I love my master;
Thus I perfume myself with
This long-rotten squirrel.

I lie belly-up
In the sunshine, happier than
You ever will be

Today I sniffed
Many dog behinds-I celebrate
By kissing your face.

I sound the alarm!
Paper boy-come to kill us all
Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!

I sound the alarm!
Garbage man-come to kill us all
Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!

I lift my leg and
Whiz on each bush. Hello, Spot-
Sniff this and weep

How do I love thee?
The ways are numberless as
My hairs on the rug.

My human is home!
I am so ecstatic I have
Made a puddle

I Hate my choke chain
Look, world, they strangle me! Ack
Ack Ack Ack Ack Ack!

Sleeping here, my chin
On your foot-no greater bliss-well,
Maybe catching rats

Look in my eyes and
Deny it. No human could
Love you as I do

The cat is not all
Bad-she fills the litter box
With Tootsie Rolls

Dig under fence-why?
Because it's there. Because it's
There. Because it's there.

I am your best friend,
Now, always, and especially
When you are eating.

My owners' mood is
Romantic-I lie near their
Feet. I fart a big one.

###

-- Diane J. Squire (sacredspaces@yahoo.com), May 07, 2000.

Loverly garden

Nice loose soil and...uh oh

Blankety-blank cats!

--------

Corgi dawn patrol!

Evening dew lingers still

Short legs, wet tummy

--------------

Old Allie watches

Neighbors pass, duly noted

She's the front porch cat

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Oh rats! My feather.

From the dock on the bayou

The wind steals my toys

-- Lon Frank (lgal@exp.net), May 07, 2000.

Tiny legs ablur

All teeth and ears, lookout world

A Corgi yard shark

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Do a little dance

And my puppy-tricks review.

Doggie treat right now!

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-- Lon Frank (lgal@exp.net), May 07, 2000.

My name is Kaos

I wreak havoc all around

I'm a small black cat.

.

Two other cats here

They hate me when I attack

And even when I don't.

.

Don't do that, she says

I hate to be disciplined

I go bite Shadow.

............

My name is Shadow

I used to have a nice life

Then they brought *him* home.

.

I like to sleep lots

I like to eat a whole lot, too

That is all I like.

.

I haven't got a brain

I chased too many strings when young

Right into the wall.

.........

My name is CC

I rule here now and always

*Him* not withstanding.

.

I hunt very well

Many small birds die quickly

Feathers to play with.

...........

-- Tricia the Canuck (jayles@telusplanet.net), May 07, 2000.

You're here, Trish the Dish!

I knew you would come to play

Haiku Lady, you.

------------

-- Lon Frank (lgal@exp.net), May 07, 2000.

DOG HAIKU

I love my human;
Thus I perfume myself with
This long dead squirrel.

Today I sniffed
Many dog butts - I celebrate
By kissing your face

I lie belly up
In the sunshine, happier than
You ever will be

I sound the alarm!
Mailman Fiend - come to kill us all!
Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark!

I sound the alarm!
Neighbor's cat - come to kill us all!
Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark!

I lift my leg and
Whiz on each bush. Hello, Spot -
Sniff this and weep

My human is home!
I am so ecstatic I have
Made a puddle

I hate my choke chain -
Look, world, they strangle me! Ack
Ack Ack Ack Ack Ack

Sleeping here, my chin -
On your foot - no greater bliss - well,
Maybe chasing cats

I sound the alarm!
Dinner guests - come to kill us all -
Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark!

The cat is not all
Bad - she fills the litter box
With Tootsie Rolls

Dig under the fence - why?
Because it's there. Because it's
there. Because it's there.

I am your best friend,
Now, always, and especially
When you are eating.

Look in my eyes and
Deny it. No human could
Love you as much as I do.


I sure hope the formatting comes out right...my sister sent this to me...

-- helen (home@the.farm), May 07, 2000.

It didn't come out right. Sorry. I'm too tired to fix it. Happy week to you all.


(happy week to you too, Helen!!.. -your friendly editor)
(Uh..these are the same ones..but okay..we'll laugh twice!) :-)

-- helen (too@tired.now), May 07, 2000.

Golden Retriever

so fresh and clean from her bath...

rolling in cat shit

-- Uncle Deedah (unkeed@yahoo.com), May 08, 2000.

Two dogs sit and wait
stalking squirrels in the trees
Why won't they come down?

Sheba does not care
Mom has come out, get the ball
Bring the ball to mom!

Mom kicks the football
It lands right on Samsons head
He looks at the sky

Dogs pant from the heat.
Mom sprays them both with the hose.
Wet dogs smell real bad.




-- kritter (kritter@adelphia.net), May 12, 2000.

Wow! Kritter's a poet!

Inspired to it by her dogs

She brings laughter now :-)

-- Tricia the Canuck (jayles@telusplanet.net), May 14, 2000.

Our silly small cat

Loves to sit on monitor

Hangs tail over screen.

-- Tricia the Canuck (jayles@telusplanet.net), May 20, 2000.

Fearless is my heart

Light'ning does not bother ME

(here under the bed)

---------------

Leopard eyes shine bright

Tiger, tiger in the night

Swiftly dies the string

--------

(hiya, Trish!)

:)

-------------------------

-- Lon Frank (lgal@exp.net), May 20, 2000.

She's been dead two years,
I still miss her every day.
She brought us great joy.

-- Gayla (privacy@please.com), May 20, 2000.

Human has MaryJane. I enjoy nice hemp flavor wallwalking not nice.

FWIW, some friends once fed a cat some grass and the cat decided it was time to take a run and when it came to a wall it rotated 90 deg. and tried running along the wall. Unfortunately, gravity got in the way and the cat landed flat on it's side. It laid there for a moment with a very puzzled look on it's face, then heard us laughing ourselves silly and got up and angrily stalked out of the room.

-- Bob May (bobmay@nethere.com), January 23, 2002.

Hmm, for some reason, the formatting didn't work for the haiku. It should have been 3 lines as that's what I typed in. Ah, well, the owner of this can always fix and remove this message.

-- Bob May (bobmay@nethere.com), January 23, 2002.

Hi Bob, and thanks for reser, resirect.....uh, for digging up this old thread; it's a good one. And don't worry about the formatting, I do it all the time. You gotta double space between the lines.

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-- Lon Frank (lgal@exp.net), January 23, 2002.