Do you have to hire little kids to tie your shoes?

Did the Department of Public Safety ask you to make beeping sounds whenever you walk backwards?

Do you have more chins than the San Francisco phone book?

Do you think spandex is an essential element?

Has anyone from the Beached Mammal Rescue Society ever rushed up to you at the sea shore by mistake?

Does your butt have it's own zip code?

Well, I've got news for YOU! Dreyers' has just put out a new ice cream flavor - Cracker Jack!!!!! I got me a quart at the grocery store yesterday, and ate the whole thing. Even let some dribble down my chin, and drip on my belly, where it sticks out from under my shirt.

HA HA HA HA Ha ha ha ha..(SNARF)...ho ho he he he he.

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-- Lon Frankenstien (evil@twinsR.us), May 07, 2000

Answers

I'm sorry, everyone. Really. I don't know what comes over me sometimes. I think it's this danged diet the missus has me on. Says I look like a 50 year old Cabbage Patch Kid.

I didn't eat a whole quart of ice cream. You gotta believe me.

(and don't you hate it when people snarf when they laugh?)

Well, all I can do is appologize. And back away from the computer for a while.

beep...beep......beep.....beep....beep

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-- Lon Frank (lgal@exp.net), May 07, 2000.

LOL and ROFL!!!

-- Tricia the Canuck (jayles@telusplanet.net), May 07, 2000.

Does the crackerjack ice cream have a prize at the bottom?

-- kritter (kritter@adelphia.net), May 08, 2000.

Well, mine sure didn't!!

Er, ah.......I mean,

How would I know, I didn't eat any. Really.

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-- Lon Frank (lgal@exp.net), May 08, 2000.

I tried eating some....it didn't work.

Those old trousers I took with me to college still fit .......but the belt my dad got me in sixth grade is now on its last hole.....

-- Robert A. Cook, PE (Marietta, GA) (cook.r@csaatl.com), May 08, 2000.

Yeah, Robert, but I noticed you're not sayin' how long that belt is. Or how big those trousers are, either (if you turned them upside down, and hung them over a clothes line, could more than four kids sleep inside?)

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-- Lon Frank (lgal@exp.net), May 08, 2000.

32-34.....8<)

-- Robert A. Cook, PE (Marietta, GA) (cook.r@csaatl.com), May 09, 2000.

Lon:

My youngest had to come see what I was laughing so hard at! Thanks for the first laugh of the day!

I quit eating sugar for a five year period of time and it really bugged my mother. Every time I was with her she would try and try to get me to eat some thing sweet. It used to really bother me that she was trying to wreck my diet until I figured out that that was how she showed concern for me--she didn't want me to "deprive myself."

So, instead of getting irritated, I would just ask her for some Skotch tape. I'd explain that I was going to tape that sweet stuff on my butt because that's where it was going to go anyway! And besides, that way the weight would be easier to take off! She would get a good chuckle over that and then not pester me for awhile.

(Now she's gone and I'd love to hear her pester me about anything...)

Linda, who misses her mother and needs to go back on the no sugar lifestyle!

-- Linda Mc (jcm@telepath.com), May 09, 2000.

Frankenlon or LonFrankensense... whichever.

Back in the High School daze, one of afterschool jobs was working at a Baskin-Robbins ice cream parlor. Sheer heaven!!

One week I was protesting eating my parents food, (teenagers do some crazy things sometimes), and all I had to eat was ice cream for a week... and water.

Lost 15 pounds. Go figure.

New diet strategy? Thank your evil twin for pointing you in the "right" diet-ection. (Direction).

Diane

-- Diane J. Squire (sacredspaces@yahoo.com), May 09, 2000.

Fifteen pounds, huh?

Ice cream and water, huh?

Well.....gee...I'm not sure........but,

IT'S WORTH A TRY!!!!!!!

(yippee)

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-- Lon Frank (lgal@exp.net), May 09, 2000.

ROFL!!

Although I've heard that one of the best ways to reduce weight is to reduce food choices. It seems to reset the satiation button - you feel full on less. Or so the theory goes. (But....icecream???) ROFL

-- Tricia the Canuck (jayles@telusplanet.net), May 09, 2000.