So what do you do when life is drowning you and none of it is anything you can run away from?

Or is that just me?

-- Anonymous, May 16, 2000

Answers

Lynda, it's not just you, believe me!

Unfortunately, I have no clue where the escape hatch is. I wish I could offer some advice, but instead I can't do any better than a lame, "me, too!".

However, I'll be eyeing this forum carefully, to see if anyone has any suggestions...

-- Anonymous, May 16, 2000

Just try to keep in mind that you are not responsible for "fluffing everyone else's pillow", as a friend of mine likes to say. Let them be responsible for themselves. Release yourself mentally from that obligation, and try to make time to fluff your own pillow. Really, you must find time, or make time to renew yourself in some way...those around you will benefit just as much as you will.

I know it's hard to do though...

For me, I found several things which helped...

Lunch, or something like that, with caring friends...where I could unload some of the frustration... Getting out of town, no matter how close...but out of town and out of reach... Taking a class in something which I really wanted to do just for fun, as opposed to had to do for self advancement...

Hope things get better.

-- Anonymous, May 17, 2000

You know what scares me, Dawn... I think this pace is starting to be regarded as normal.

Beth's forum is talking about lawyers and the number of hours they work on a regular basis... and I know programing has those hours...

Y'know..money's nice, but what good is it if you're working around the clock? When do you have time to enjoy what it lets you have?

I think the world is going way off-track with this. I definitely know I am not personally equipped to deal with anything more fast paced than I have on my plate right now.

-- Anonymous, May 17, 2000

Jo - I love that 'fluff anyone else's pillows'. Great distinction - there are a lot of 'have to do' items out there, but some of them are purely optional... easy to forget that, and feel like folks are 'making' me do stuff.

I've found out I'm making another trip to Florida next month - it'll be work, but I am looking forward to even a short change of scenery.

-- Anonymous, May 17, 2000

Lynda wrote:

>You know what scares me, Dawn... I think this pace is starting to be >regarded as normal.

That's exactly the problem. When people start wearing the number of hours they work as a badge of honor, and it all becomes a competition to see who works hardest, we've obviously missed the point.

You know those people who, if you make any kind of negative comment about your life--you aren't feeling well, you're having money problems, whatever--will immediately launch into their own sob story that points out how THEY are actually MUCH worse off than you? That's what happens a lot of times when it comes to work. "I've been working ten-hour days, lately." "TEN? Hell, that would be like a vacation for me, I work 14!" "Ah, 14 is nothing, wait until you have a schedule like mine, with 22 hours of non-stop work per day, setting up a catheter and IV so I never have to get up from my desk," etc. etc.

I'm sorry, but I have no interest in playing the "my life is tougher than yours" game (although sometimes I'm afraid that's exactly how my journal sounds, when I get into these frazzled periods).

>Y'know..money's nice, but what good is it if you're working around >the clock? When do you have time to enjoy what it lets you have?

Yep. And working around the clock is no guarantee that you'll actually have the money to show for it, either. Alas.

I don't know how we got to this place. But as much as I enjoy (most things about) my work, I'd rather spend my time *living*. I've never heard of anyone on their deathbed saying, "I only wish I'd spent more time at the office."

Gah. Time to stop before I work myself up into hyperstress before it's even necessary.

-- Anonymous, May 19, 2000

I must be lucky.....

I have a great job that they actually pay me to do. I teach High School Science and love it. I seldom leave my classroom, having students in my room before and after school and durning our two meal breaks (nutrition and lunch).

I have three great kids, while they have their problems, generally they are good kids with no behavior problems.

I work as a volunteer in the Boy Scouts, taking kids camping, hiking, biking and more. We have a goal to ride our bikes in the LA Marathon.

On that rare occasion when I feel life getting heavy, I just remember 1) I was once unemployed for 6 months and working sure beats that; 2) I have great friends; 3) my old saying from High School "Smile, Life's not that bad; 4) living sure beats the alternative (my students don't seem to get that one).

-- Anonymous, May 24, 2000