Have you ever made the plunge into the next big thing? Did it work out how you wanted it to?

-- Anonymous, May 30, 2000

Answers

It's getting closer to my own big move (combined with the big M) and I know how you feel (although I'm not going that far).

Good luck Pamie.

-- Anonymous, May 30, 2000

I did it once before, moving from Texas to Michigan without even ajob waiting in order to be with the woman I loved. We just did it again, moving to Connecticut with a new baby and an uncertain future and pushed by nothing more or less than a desire to find a place that we would be able to call our own. It was the most terrifying thing I've ever done, and so far, it has been worth it. I am the poster child for the Next Big Thing...

-- Anonymous, May 30, 2000

Last year, we decided to move to New York, just because. It was scary, it was a big change, all our family thought we were nuts. It's been an amazing experience. But. Now that we love it madly here, The Husband-Type Man was asked to move back to LA for a year. So come September, we're goin' back to Cali....

At any rate, Pamie, we can do lunch. I'll take you to Casa Vega or something. Have your people call my people, okay, hon? *kiss, kiss*

-- Anonymous, May 30, 2000

I've done the next big thing twice. The first was a move from New Jersey to Miami, sucked in every way imaginable. I don't regret it a bit, I learned a lot about myself that first move. The second time was from Miami to Washington, DC, where I live now. It's the best thing I ever did. I found a great place to be, and I'm starting to build my life. Jumping into the unknown is scary and fun, helps you learn to make your own choices, I think everyone should do it at least once.

-- Anonymous, May 30, 2000

My First Next Big Thing was rural Ohio, to Chicago, but that was for college so it didn't count.

The Next Next Big Thing was Chicago to Seattle, where I only knew one person, and that person was my up-to-that-point long-distance boyfriend. It was scary, exhilarating, and awesome.

You go, girl. You're going to be a killer L.A. girl. Knock 'em dead.

-- Anonymous, May 30, 2000

I don't know if it counts, but I didn't go home after my freshman year of college and am living in Pittsburgh with my boyfriend. It seems like a Big Thing to me, 'cos I'm paying my own rent and buying my own food and managing my own life for the first time.

And I really like it.

Does this mean that you won't be coming to JournalCon in good ol' Pittsburgh, Pamie? *bursting into song* Say it ain't SOOOO OHH OHHHH!

-- Anonymous, May 30, 2000

Pamie, you're going to whip LA into submission, have no fear.

I did the next big thing moving from Birmingham to Dallas with no job and few prospects. It didn't work out exactly as I planned but, I am so glad I did it. I have been more creative here than I ever expected. It was four years ago and I am finally living in a place I love, getting ready to re-stake my claim on this god-forsaken city.

You guys are going to rock the LA hizouse. And, if for some reason you decide your dreams are not being realized in this new place, there's always someone at home who never forgets who you are, Pamie.

You go. Show them.

-- Anonymous, May 30, 2000

in 1992, when i was only 22 years old, i moved from my safe haven in iowa to the scary big twin cities for a job. i knew absolutely no one, and i moved alone. it was the scariest thing i ever did... but now that i'm here, and i stuck it out, and i made a life for myself somewhere new, it's the best thing i ever did. it's hard, but if you can stick it out and get through the initial scariness, you'll be so proud of yourself.

-- Anonymous, May 30, 2000

I moved from Rhode Island to Alabama (it'll be 4 years in August) to be with the man I'd come to love, with no job, hardly any money, and no promises that anything would work out. I'd do it again in a minute.

What's the worse that can happen? You can bomb out bigtime and find yourself homeless, in which case you could move in with Beth and launch XeneyPamie.com.

Have confidence that things will work out, and they will! :)

-- Anonymous, May 30, 2000

Well, I am planning on doing the next big thing this fall, as well. Except I am not moving across the country, just 3 hours away from where I have lived my whole life (even went to school here, cause I didn't want to leave home!) to be with my boyfriend/hopefully soon to be f-word. I don't know anyone in this area except for him, and all my friends and family are here. But, it's something that has to be done if our relationship is to progress, and we want it to, so I will be packing up and moving about the same time you are pamie, so best of luck to you!

-- Anonymous, May 30, 2000

Great,

Now what am I going to say when people ask me to name one good thing about Texas?

Byrne

-- Anonymous, May 30, 2000

Re: Journalcon-- uh, so it's not really been the big thing on my mind.

I am going to still try and go, though. Just hoping I have enough cash and time. I'll keep you posted, don't worry.

-- Anonymous, May 30, 2000

I hope that it works out for you guys! There's a part of me so jealous I could spit. It's da bigz, right? It's the wild blue yonder crammed into dingy alleys and perfectly manicured lawns. It's da bigz, right? It's where it all happens, so they say. Fuckin' A! Kick ass! I'm gonna miss EP. I don't believe there's a wryer wit living. pamie.com isn't going anywhere is it? I want to keep up.

-- Anonymous, May 30, 2000

your entry could have been my entry.

Moving from Shreveport, LA to Seattle in January. Seattle has three schools I could possibly attend and could help me with my career more than Shreveport ever could. Of course, it's about 3000 miles and a 43 hour drive from my parents, my friends, and my brother. My boyfriend is lovely enough to have offered to transfer to Seattle with me--he can transfer with his job--so at least I don't have to go all alone.

From Shreveport to a Much Bigger City--scary, scary, scary.

I'll be going up for a week in August to check it out. I sure as hell hope I like it. Good luck with your move, Pamie.

-- Anonymous, May 30, 2000

Twice I did the next big thing.

The first next big thing was L.A.

Two years later, the next big thing was getting the hell out of L.A.

Someone brought up in a previous forum (Pamie? Are you posting under pseudonyms?) the question of where to live. Westside. Use Westsiderentals.com. Live near the ocean, or make sure your place has AC.

But it sounds as if you're going down to be in "The Industry," so you should have a fair shake. You've certainly got the talent. Good luck.

-- Anonymous, May 30, 2000

I hear ya, Pamie.

I'm moving from Utah to Seattle this summer, and I've had many moments of brain-scrambling fear. Yet at the same time, I feel so relieved to be taking charge of my life instead of settling for the familiar stasis. It's my opinion that The Next Big Thing is always scary, but you're compensated for the fear by the knowledge that you're taking an active role in making your life meaningful. Plus, as Hallmark loves to say, "The possibilities are endless." So go for it, girl. Be strong, be brave, and live your life.

-- Anonymous, May 30, 2000

Geez, is *everyone* moving to Seattle (or LA)??? (Moving to Seattle by the end of the year, myself, to end the long-distance part of my 3 year relationship.)

Good luck Pamie! I'm excited for you.

-- Anonymous, May 30, 2000

My first big thing was moving from California to Houston. Um, not much to say about that, I only lasted 6 months.

My next big thing was from California to North Carolina. I left my friends, my family, everything I had known my entire life. My husband is from North Carolina, so he had it all here, I had nothing.

I was depressed for eight solid months after the move. I missed my mom, I missed my family, I cried constantly. I wanted my mom. Two years later I am happy to say that things have gotten better. I have made friends, and found my place and I am starting to feel like myself again. That was the hardest part about moving to a new place. You tend to lose your self. It was like I wanted to tell people, "look, I was cute and funny and crazy in California, I had so many friends, and boyfriends, I was something!" Because I felt like no one knew who I was. Things will be better for you because you and Eric are making a new start together. I could go on and on about this.

Good Luck Pamie.

Also, my mom is in California, so if you ever get desperate for some good mom lovin, you have my permission to give my mom a call.

-- Anonymous, May 30, 2000

I moved out to Edmonton a year and a half ago. I'm from Montreal, but at the time I moved, I was living in Winnipeg.

Edmonton didn't work out the way I had planned, but I don't regret it. My life isn't perfect. I lost the job I moved out here for, and my boyfriend of five years broke up with me, but I have a new job now and a new guy, and things are looking up.

I would like to move back to Montreal, but there are a few things that make that impossible right now. The first is money. I don't have any, and a move from Edmonton to Montreal would cost quite a bit. The second is politics. One of the reasons I left Quebec is because I was really sick of the neverending language debates, the separation issue and the pig-headedness of Lucien Bouchard (the premier of Quebec). It never ends.

Besides which, I'm in a brand-new relationship. It's going great, and I really love the guy. I don't want another long-distance love affair, because I've done that. I want to see how this one goes. If Jay decides he wants to move to Montreal with me, great. But that won't be for a long time, because neither of us can afford it yet.

Besides, Edmonton isn't THAT bad. It's not home, and I don't think it will be for a while, but it's where I happen to be right now.

Pamie, don't let uncertainty get in the way. Life is all about uncertainty. Like I said, my move out here was a bust, but I don't regret it. I did for a time, but now I realize that I would have regretted it more if I had never tried. I'm proud of myself for taking that step.

-- Anonymous, May 30, 2000

Having taken the plunge a couple of times (from Mississippi to New York and New Orleans), I can't recommend it highly enough. And I'll tell ya', for me the trick to it all--and this isn't always easy--is to avoid thinking about it. Don't sit up at night kibbitzing about whether this is the right thing or not. Your gut's obviously telling you that you need to move on, so just start working out the logistics- -like when the movers should arrive and whether you really want to take that spare aquarium.

If that's not enough, look at some of your friends who've done the same. I'm sure you think some of 'em are pretty clueless, right? Well, if they can manage, it should be a cakewalk for you. You'll land on your feet.

Thank you very much! You've been a great audience! ! You'll find copies of my inspirational best seller, Move It or Lose It in the hotel lobby. I'll see you nice folks in the lounge. Goodnight, Secaucus!

Richard

P.S. David Sedaris is now firmly ensconced in Paris. If you're still feeling oooogie about your move, read his latest, *Me Talk Pretty Some Day*. LA will look much more attractive....

-- Anonymous, May 30, 2000

My Big Thing was picking up and flying across the world at 22, with my wedding dress and silk bouquet packed in my suitcase, to marry a guy I'd spent a total of about 10 months with (spaced over approximately three years). No money, student loan debts, sharing a 2- bedroom apartment with his parents in a teeny town outside Bologna.
It was the absolute best decision I ever made in my life.
My mom thought I was nuts, but she changed her mind once she came to visit and saw it for herself. It's never been easy, but it's always felt like the Right Thing. I've never, ever wished I hadn't done it, even for a moment.
And in your case, Pamie, it'll be the two of you together, every step of the way, building a new life in a new place. How exciting! I'm thrilled for you, and a bit envious... I doubt I'll have many more opportunities for Big Things, at this point.
Break a leg!

-- Anonymous, May 30, 2000

Big Things were just about the most wonderful choices I could make for myself. I breathe easy knowing that ANYTHING can be undone.

My first Big Thing was to go abroad. You can't imagine the amount of pride I hold in having been a 20-year-old who could wrangle herself by train from London to Paris to Rome to Naples to Florence to Venice and back. It's empowering like a mofo.

When I came home, my world felt small. So I moved to New York and lived with my boyfriend. I got a job, learned my way around the streets and subways.

The things you're doing now are already Big Things. Living with Eric. Following your dream career. Dealing with cats who have A.D.D. and peculiar Parisian accents. You're already doing more than a lot of people. Do what you love, un-do what you must.

-- Anonymous, May 30, 2000

Hint #1: don't call it "Cali".

-- Anonymous, May 30, 2000

whoah! Congratulations. I know how difficult it is to ponder such a huge move (I've been debating with myself on the same thing for the last nine months). I think it's incredibly brave, and I wish you and Eric (and the two wee furry ones) the best of luck. It's months away, though, so there will be many beers between now and then, I hope...

One thing is Austin is such a hard place to leave. It's a breeding ground for artists, there's a very supportive community for people who are talented, and the quality of life here is just fantastic. I've been here three years, and the thought of leaving scares me, even though I know there are really good opportunities elsewhere.

-- Anonymous, May 30, 2000

You're moving to Smell-A? Wow.

My husband and I moved there from the Bay Area about two years ago, for a job. Tried SO hard to like it. We lasted eight months, then called the people we'd rented our house to and begged them to leave so we could come home. Far too much crime and graffiti, not enough trees. I'll never go back.

HOWEVER... I'm glad that we went. It was the hardest thing I've ever done, the hardest thing that we ever did together, and now I feel stronger and more confident than ever. You'll be fine! And, chances are, you'll like LA much more than we did. Just keep doing your Tae- Bo... you might need it.

-- Anonymous, May 30, 2000

...great...so just when i'm about to leave california you decide to come to los angeles...

...ah well, at least now you'll have a place to crash when you visit new york...

-- Anonymous, May 30, 2000

Does the Next Big Thing always have to involve a move? I don't have the motivation, money or guts to move right now. But I would like to make some changes. Maybe my Big Things are different sizes and forms than anyone else's. Sometimes the biggest changes you make are ones inside your head, that no one else can see.

-- Anonymous, May 30, 2000

Let me just give you an early welcome to Cali. It's not so bad. You'll have fun.

-- Anonymous, May 30, 2000

I almost forgot - Good Luck and Best Wishes with your L.A. Adventure, Pamie (& family)!

-- Anonymous, May 30, 2000

I am still recovering, one year later, from my lastest Big Things. I got divorced, then moved to Ohio (no job, no place to live and all) to be with my new boyfriend (he prefers the word partner, but I think it sounds funny). I HATE Ohio but I love him, so that makes life here bearable most of the time. And I love being away from my ex and starting anew, as they say. If I had thought much about it beforehand, I probably wouldn't have gotten divorced and I would definitely never have moved, but then again sometimes thinking is overrated.

-- Anonymous, May 30, 2000

Ha! Everyone is moving to Seattle! I am in the process of getting the hell out of here. In a week and a half I am driving down to Boulder, Colorado to find myself a nice place to live. I'm moving down there for this incredible school and well, because I hate Seattle. Don't worry, if you are one of those who are moving here I guarantee you will love it. Seattle is a wonderful city. I used to *love* living here, but I have now been here for my entire life and am ready for a serious change of pace (and a little sunshine before I die!)

My biggest concern about moving is leaving a friend of mine I have been extremely close with for six years now. It's hard for me to imagine my life without her in it. Fortunately, another good friend has recently moved from Seattle to just outside of Boulder, so I will at least know someone once I get down there.

In any case, I am excited and I am ready for this to happen. I know this is the right choice for me now. I flew down and visited the city about two months ago and completely fell in love with it. The solid Flatiron mountains cradling the town, rocky and jagged in daylight, reddish-purple with the sun setting behind them, ominous and deeply blue at dusk. I loved the dry extreme heat-or-cold/ sun- or-snow climate, and of course the fact that it never rained once. It just felt *right* to be there. I can't wait to get back...

Just concentrating on all of the exciting possibilities that moving to a new city will bring to my life is what keeps me feeling positive about my upcoming transition.

I slept a total of 40 minutes last night so I really hope this wasn't too scatter-brained. Off to bed now...

-- Anonymous, May 30, 2000

Count me in for another Seattle-bound person. Granted, I'm just moving from Olympia (one hour south via I-5) to go to the University of Washington... but I think that counts as a next big thing kinda life change. Seattle's loverly. I adore the Northwest. So beautiful.

-- Anonymous, May 30, 2000

lynnster~ yah, i agree with you.. big things aren't necessarily things that you can do that people can see.

i know this wouldn't count as a big thing to you guys, but to me it is. a while ago i was offered to apply to a summer program in harvard. so i gave it a shot and applied. out of 1500 applicants, only 200 were picked for interviews, and i was luckily one of them. now i have one more week until i find out if i go or not. i always expect the worst, but hope for the best, but the idea that i even have a CHANCE of spending my summer at harvard is just so mind- boggling, i can't even imagine it. so, if i do make it, I think that would be one of the most significant events i've ever experienced.

-- Anonymous, May 30, 2000

The cats aren't going to like it!!!! But you'll have fun. It'll be swell!

-- Anonymous, May 30, 2000

My whole adult life has been the Next Big Thing, and I regret none of it. Life is short, and if it doesn't work out the way you hope, you can move on somewhere else...back to Austin, on to Chicago, wherever.

Good for you, for doing this. I mean, wouldn't you hate to be 40 and wondering where your career might have taken you, 'if only...'?

-- Anonymous, May 30, 2000

I was thrown into a bunch of Next Big Things thanks to my mom; she got itchy feet every couple of years so we moved a lot. Most of the time it was just to different areas of Southern Ontario, but then we moved to Australia - two separate to two separate coasts - and *whoah*. That was rough.

And then I moved to Seattle full time three years ago. I'd been here on and off for about 5 or 6 years; coming for vacations, working in the summer, while finishing up college in Toronto.

But then at the end of school I got sick and decided it was best to be near my family and have their support - and out I came.

And Seattle has been nothing but a whole *lotta* good for me! It's a fabulous city, and every day I'm here I like it more and more. And yeah, whatUP with all you people movin' out here??? And that's just this forum! Hope y'all want to use mass transit 'cause traffic is pretty bad already ;p

Seriously though good luck Pamie - that's fab, really. A big shake-em- up kind of change is always good for the spirit. Nice bucket of cold water you know?

-- Anonymous, May 30, 2000

Hell yes! I moved to England from New Zealand in July 1997 and it was the best thing I've ever done - I got a job I loved, met Tristan, got married, bought a flat - it was a life-changing decision and I've not regretted it for a minute.

Sometimes it's really important to move out of your comfort zone and just go for it. If you do it with a positive attitude it will rock. It may not work out exactly how you planned, but it will be good.

And anyway, if you make the change and it does suck, there's nothing stopping you from trying something else.

Superb news, Pamie. I am so confident that I'll be seeing you hit the big time any minute than I'm going to print off and keep any email I've ever received from you, so I can send it in for an autograph one day. You rock, and you deserve to succeed.

But I worry for you, having to cope with that cat Cal in a whole new city. If there was ever a creature destined to go LA Crazy, that cat is it.

-- Anonymous, May 30, 2000

Pamie, I have one thing to say about your move to LA:

The Billy Blanks World Training Center.

Seriously. We need to hear about what those classes are really like in person. And what the people who take them really look like (maybe not).

A Pamie description of a Tae-Bo class taken in person would probably be one of the funniest things ever written.

-- Anonymous, May 30, 2000

I beat Alex by one year. In 1991, I moved from Iowa to Minneapolis for a job. I was 19 and it was the first time I was living more than 15 miles from home.

It was great.

Last year, though, was the Big Thing. I moved from Iowa to California. I will never forget the experiences and memories. They will last me a lifetime. It's very scary to actually go, but once you get settled in, you think to yourself, "Why the hell didn't I do this YEARS ago?"

Enjoy yourself, Pam and Eric. Hope to look you up at one of the comedy clubs this winter or next year.

-- Anonymous, May 30, 2000

Add another name to the list of people moving to Seattle. My husband and I decided today (of all days, this is really weird) not to wait another year but to go ahead and take the plunge this fall.

The scary thing for us is that we moved there before, stayed for a year and a half, and moved back home. We were young, had few job skills, blah, blah. Hindsight is 20/20, right? Looking back and seeing everything we did wrong, having gone back and visited a million times in the last five years, after researching and carefullly planning (and saving money this time) we're ready again.

I wish everyone the best of luck in their moving endeavors. And Pamie, I'm sure you'll knock 'em dead.

Kelley

P.S. - I vote for a 'new to Seattle' get-together...!

-- Anonymous, May 30, 2000

OT

Not to get all political or anything, but I want Heather to be my new best friend.

/OT

-- Anonymous, May 30, 2000

Gee, what is it with Seattle? I too have been considering a move there for grad school (University of Washington) in the fall of 2001. Haven't applied yet, but it's kind of hanging out there in the not-too-distant future. I flew up to check out Seattle and the University about a month ago and was not disappointed, so I gotta get crackin' and retake that damn GRE soon.

Good luck to everyone moving on to the Next Big Thing. And count me in for a Seattle Squishy Con.

-- Anonymous, May 30, 2000

Damn autocomplete feature...obviously the previous post involving my admiration for Heather's post was posted by me, though I think my fiance *would* agree with the post.

I reckon, nyuck nyuck.

-- Anonymous, May 30, 2000

I moved from Little Rock, Arkansas to Washington DC. It was the most amazing thing I've ever done. I didn't know anybody here. I got a cool job as a private investigator and eventually ended up at a great law school. So if you get arrested, call me!!!

I'm about to make a other "big move" for the summer. I have a summer job in New York City. I've never been there. Then again I'd never been to DC and that turned out okay. I'm pretty excited.

You seem laid back enough to take whatever LA can dish out. Have fun!

-- Anonymous, May 31, 2000

The Next Big Thing/Move is the story of my life. I love planning these things, taking care of all the details, defying the odds, etc. I moved to college with $50 or something equally aburd, then on to SF with $150 and New York with $1500. With the first two, I had at least paid my deposit and first month's rent. For New York, however, I had no job, no place to live and only a few online acquaintances).

Things didn't work out in New York, largely because after my dad died last year I wanted nothing but to be back with my mom and little brother. Although I didn't stay as long as I planned in New York, I don't regret it. It's one of those things I just had to do. There is so much to see and do there, it's a place I'd wanted to go since I could remember.

Congratulations on making a decision Pamie and good luck. I'm just outside LA.

-- Anonymous, May 31, 2000

I moved from rural Ohio to England just over two years ago. It was the hardest thing I ever had to do, leaving behind my friends and family, but now I would only move back to America if I absolutely had to; I love it here, my (now) husband is here and my life has been much, much happier since I cut the cord and struck out on my own. Granted, most people don't have to move to a different continent in order to do that, but...

Good luck, Pamie. I really think it sounds like a great move to make, and I hope you remember us when you're famous and chugging apple and cinnamon vodka martinis at Sky Bar with Stee and John Travolta (you on his lap, Stee stabbing at his head) every Wednesday night.

-- Anonymous, May 31, 2000

Since I grew up as an Army brat, the Next Big Thing rolled around every three years or so for my entire childhood: we moved around constantly. It was rough, but it does make you a stronger person, I think.

The first time I *voluntarily* plunged into the Next Big Thing was when I went from Massachusetts to Germany for my junior year of college. It was terrifying, but that year turned out to be one of the best yet. The even bigger Next Big Thing was when I decided to stay in Germany another year instead of going back to graduate - that was even more terrifying, but it worked out great. And the third Big Thing came after graduation, when I went back to Germany yet again - this time to stay as long as I wanted.

I've now spent a total of 6 really good years here, but it's time to move on. I'm planning on heading to England with my husband in the fall, just for the heck of it. We're kind of jumping into the Great Unknown (no place to live, only vague job prospects, only two people we know there), and sometimes I get real panic attacks about it - but sometimes there are things that you just *have* to do, and for us this is one of those things.

If it doesn't work out, then you go someplace else or do something else, you take the plunge again and see what happens. If nothing else, it keeps life interesting.

-- Anonymous, May 31, 2000

Congratulations, Pamie!!!! That's so great, you and Eric are going to kick ass and take names in L.A.

I'm way too big of a chicken to make Big Moves by myself -- perhaps from too many being forced on me earlier in life. But as scary and nebulous as they are, they usually turn out to be exciting and fun! Things always have a way of working out.

-- Anonymous, May 31, 2000

I'm taking the "plunge" this weekend. I'm moving into my own place, (have never lived on my own before, always with people), and leaving my family and friends to move 5 hours south of here in Southern California. (we'll practically be neighbors, like I said in my email to you).

Although I'm not moving to another state, it really might as well be because Northern California (where I live) is soooo completely different in people, cost of living, and attitudes, than Southern California.

I'm sort of freaking out inside too. It's a big step for me. A long overdue one, that's for sure.

So, it's too soon to tell if it will "all work out", but I have such a peace about this. Everything is just falling into place this year. It's amazing. So I know it's the right thing to do.

Good luck to you and Eric in Los Angeles, Pamie! You'll be just fine!

-- Anonymous, May 31, 2000

my big move was from being an au pair in oslo, norway, to shipping myself in the middle of the night to austin, to move in with some guys i knew in high school. what a culture shock. at least i married one of them... haha.

best wishes, pamie. you'll do fine.

(BTW- the wedding of my sister went well, but now my head's all freaky.)

-- Anonymous, May 31, 2000

William Saroyan said the miracle doesn't happen when we become self- sufficient as a writer, it happens when we become a writer at all.

My first next big thing was when I made the leap, and started writing.

Did it work out like I thought it would?

Yes and no.

One, I knew it would be hard. That's why I put off starting for so long. I had the example of Jack Kerouac and William S. Burroughs in front of me. Henry Miller. On back to Whitman and Thoreau.

I wanted to have a way to make a living lined up first, a day job. I thought my day job would be college professor. Anthropologist.

What happened? You name it. (1) Supply and demand, the business cycle, Nixon.

(2) I did an anthropology of anthropology, and it was like the Sophists trying Socrates for corrupting the youth of Athens.

(3) I couldn't hack it. I wasn't up to snuff. I couldn't cut the mustard.

Anyhow, when I saw I wasn't going to get the PhD in three years, in seven years, or at all, if I had to become good at what the people who got them were good at, I stole the last year of my NDEA fellowship, stayed at home, and taught myself to write.

I thought if I could learn to do it I could make a living at it.

So, yes, it was hard. But two, it was impossible. It was way harder than I imagined, even.

Theoretically, it's possible. In principle it's possible. Other people have done it. Why not me? What twist keeps me out of the winner's circle, what "twisted barrier" keeps me "hidden from view."

Hide in plain sight. The most recent next big thing was coming out in the open, at my job. Going online with my Web site, The Daily Bugle (www.thedailybugle.com). Hanging it all out, in the wind, for the managers, the personnel types, the ideological rectitude officer, the paranoid co-workers, with the Old Rollback ever-looming, to take potshots at.

How I got from my first next big thing to my most recent one, the next big things along the way, and what happens to me, now, as I write, are the subject of CRACKER STUDIES, also known as QUEER STUDIES, with its three epigraphs:

I don't particularly like cerebral movies. On the other hand, I don't like movies that are all viscera and no brains. David Cronenberg, on the exploding heads, in Scanners.

It doesn't get any easier, you just get faster. Greg Lemond

Perhaps the most interesting and most extensive use of his pictures was by his widow, Theodora Kroeber, in her influential biography of Ishi. Relying heavily on the 1914 Deer Creek series, Mrs. Kroeber followed her husband's lead in situating Ishi as a pre-contact aborigine, further contributing to the creation of a mythical, in fact, timeless, "ethnographic present." Ira Jacknis

-- Anonymous, May 31, 2000

I guess I've had several next big things, since making the leap. They form the headings for my current book.

Becoming a Writer Moving to the Mountains, to Live Poor and Write Learning a Trade A Career Change, at 40 Inheriting a Grubstake Moving, for the Kids Moving, in Search of Gainful Employment Going Online

I guess I'll cover them, in order, with a lot of jumping back and forth.

To see how it goes, visit The Daily Bugle (www.thedailybugle.com), daily, and follow the progress.

-- Anonymous, May 31, 2000

I chose to take responsibility for my own research instead of being a minion forever. Suddenly no one is telling me what to do. I have to make my job up as I go along. I get to have minions of my own. Wheeee...

As for it working out, ask me in six years.

-- Anonymous, May 31, 2000

Next Big Thing-- does having a child count, Pamie?

Otherwise, it would have been four years ago when I moved down here to Austin. That was quite a Big Thing if you asked me. But now, four years later, I'm living a happy life with my new family, being a noted theatrical producer, and thinking Things Are Pretty Good.

Except, losing the acclaimed Mr. Peterson as an actor! Now who will play Tom McLaughlin in the sequel play? (By the way, Mr. P-- you were excellent in BB!)

-M

-- Anonymous, May 31, 2000

i've taken the plunge. chucked it all and moved clear across the country all by myself. it was the best thing i've ever done. and now plunge number two is coming up. moving in with senor oatmeal. should be awesome. plunges are the best.

-- Anonymous, May 31, 2000

In 1976 I moved from Illinois to New York to be with my boyfriend. I thought I was way too cool to live in the midwest. A year and a half later, I couldn't wait to get back. But it was a very interesting time and I learned a lot about how I wanted life to be (and not be).

I moved from there to Minneapolis, six hours away from anyone I knew, no job, no money -- it was insane, but I didn't know that at the time. 23 years later, I'm still here (well, I'm in St. Paul now, across the river, which for many Minneapolitans would be akin to moving across the continent). So my second Next Big Thing was a great move.

Moving to a totally different place is something I think everyone should do at least once in their lives. Maybe even especially living somewhere that ends up being not so great for a while, because then you learn an awful lot about what really matters to you, and why.

Do it. These are the years when you have that freedom to be adventuresome with your life. And try not to worry about it too much between now and then -- as my girlfriend's mother says, "The things ou worry about turn out fine. It's the things you don't know enough to worry about that will get you!" Ha.

-- Anonymous, May 31, 2000

First of all GOOD LUCK Pamie!

Second of all, people who love you... love you. They support you no matter where you are.

Third, I am from L.A. I find it to be a pool of fake nasty people with plastic brains. BUT I don't think that should discourage you. There are some super cool people that are there, for the same reasons you are moving. You find them, hang out, and laugh at all the others.

Fourth, I have moved soooo much in my life. From LA to Minneapolis, to Chicago to Minneapolis to San Franciso to Minneapolis and now maybe Detroit area. I learned that everyone leaves and some people stay. The people who leave and are unhappy about leaving come back . You can always come back. Sometimes you gotta take the bull by the ass and wrestle him to the ground and say.... you want a piece of me. Or you can bungie jump into life face first without the bungie. WheeeeeeeeHaaaaaa!

That said, go out there and be a superstar. I will join your fan club and say I use to email that girl.

-- Anonymous, May 31, 2000

Stop it, stop it, stop it. All of you people moving to Seattle. Just stop it. Go away.

I'm allowed to say that since I've been here a year now.

The Next Big Thing was a series of Big Things for my husband and me, all revolving around our move from Conroe, Texas to Seattle when my husband was hired for his dream job. The Big Things were Grownup Things. He moved to Seattle to begin the job and to search for a house while I remained in Texas 11 months and sold our very first house all by myself. I quit my job, without prospects in Seattle.

The Really Big Thing was the actual move. Five days of driving from Houston to Seattle in a VW bus with a dozen cats and a blind Catahoula hound. My husband drove the Ryder truck with the cockatiel and lovebird keeping him company, pulling the '66 Beetle on a trailer. I was in the lead, as it was easier for me to keep an eye on a large yellow truck in my rearview than for him to spot a small white zoomobile in his sideview mirror. By being in the lead, the pets and I avoided being asphyxiated by the truck's diesel fumes wafting back.

I couldn't have managed navigating cross-country alone without my trusty AAA Triptik map which had the route highlighted on detailed pages, telling me where the rest areas and gas stations were located, eliminating the fear that I might miss my chance to refill the gas tank, or that I couldn't pee for 200 miles. The animals did remarkably well for never having ridden in a car. The cats slept during the day, then were alert and wiggly at night. The dog slept, whining occasionally.

We've all adjusted, we've finally ended up in a place that feels like home and we're deliriously happy to be out of Texas. I don't regret anything except that we didn't do it sooner. We did our time in Texas for way too long, and now we've earned our reward by finding a home in a verdant Paradise with real topography.

No fleas, no fire ants, no roaches, no humid, sticky, sweaty, miserable endless weeks of unbearable heat and sunshine. Grocery clerks know what to do with my cloth shopping bags when I present them with my grocery purchases. Vegetarian choices are on the menus of nearly every restaurant in town. Nose rings don't get a second glance. Ok, so I don't have a nose ring. But I like that they're just considered adornments, not evidence of freakiness.

Change is good. Follow your dreams and your heart - luck will follow. Your talent, optimism, drive and above all - your humor - will carry you. It may not happen as you've rehearsed it, but you'll learn lessons and you'll have adventures along the way. Best wishes, Pamie and Eric. Taylor and Cal, you'll like your new home just fine. Some of the same kinds of birds to make your lips quiver as you watch from the windows, and some new ones. Same food, same toys. Same Big and Little Mew - and no trying to ditch her on the way, Cal.

The rest of you - Seattle sucks. You'll hate living here. Rain. All the time. No sunshine. Slugs. Big, slimy giant slugs. As big as your wrist. Caffeine addicts everywhere you look. Impossible parking. Congested traffic. Skyrocketing real estate prices. Mold, mildew, moss on the roofs, nothing to wear but Goretex(tm), rubber boots, athlete's foot. You don't want to move here. So just go away.

But if you do come anyway, could you maybe give me a job?

-- Anonymous, June 01, 2000

slug girl- we have a catahoula, too, and my husband dreams of the rain in seattle (i need a little sun, myself).

i think the best part about plunges is you find out really how strong a person you are. the best training in life.

-- Anonymous, June 01, 2000

Ooh, Slug Girl's right. Everyone who's talking about moving to Seattle: No. You don't want to. It rains all the time. Traffic is almost as bad (if not worse) than L.A. There is no parking, anywhere. Trust me. You will be underpaid for any job here, I guarantee it. And our police department is a bunch of hooligans who love to beat on the locals.

Sure is pretty, though. ; )

And Pamie.. good luck! You and Eric and Taylor and Cal will all be fine in L.A. Taking those big steps is a scary thing, but so very worth it, because with out doing something that scares the hell out of you, how do you know you're alive?

It'll all work out wonderfully. How could L.A. not love you? Dammit, you're Pamie!

-- Anonymous, June 01, 2000

I was 17 when I ditched all the University acceptances in my home province and struck out for the east coast, where a last-minute application got me a room in residence and and undeclared major.

I'd never been there, never seen the campus, knew nothing about the city, knew no one... and I think that's why I went. It was thrilling.

There's a romance to a new city: you give it a caress here, a nibble behind the ears there, and before you know it--you're married to the place.

The surprise came four-years later when I went "home." All of a sudden I was back in this enourmous city I realised I had never really known. My high school friends were all gone, my family had moved and I was a different person.

So I got to do it all again. And after four years back here, it's home again.

It takes time to get to know a new city--you can't rush it--but even if you HATE it at first, it will become home.

The first year-or-so will be an adjustment year: getting to know people, getting your feet planted. It's a little scary, and a little lonely at times, but relish the feeling of independance, and the daily revelations. Be proud of yourself, and have confidence that it WILL feel like home.

By the second year you start to get comfortable, you get a little more adventurous, you have enough friends to help you find that great coffee shop, the perfect bar, the litte second-hand store you'd never noticed before.

By the third year, you'll be as comfortable in your new city as you are now. It's home.

Best of luck.

-- Anonymous, June 01, 2000

Pamie, it's a sign -- you'll get to see Weezer in LA. Talk about a good omen. Congratulations on your decision and good luck in all things to come. I've never done anything like this, but I know you'll be wonderful.

-- Anonymous, June 01, 2000

I've wanted to do the Big Thing, but I've never taken the plunge. I have a feeling that you will be extremely happy with your decision. Even if it isn't what you expect, it will become the stories you tell in your future. It's an adventure, and we always need those :). Is Eric going with you?

Lauren

-- Anonymous, June 07, 2000