It's a perverse human pleasure to catch someone committing a taboo act, especially if he/she can be observed surreptitiously. Most people feel an invisible wall of privacy envelops them as they sit in their vehicles. Who hasn't felt the secret charge of amusement and pleasure at the sight of a nicely-dressed driver, finger inserted in nostril, digging for that tenacious dried piece of mucus?

What private acts have you seen performed by people in their mobile (or stationary) "privacy shields"? What have you done in your vehicle, believing no one could see you?

-- Anonymous, June 12, 2000

Answers

This is going to sound gross but once I was coming home from Arlington (to Austin) and my friend and I counted how many people we saw picking their nose. We were only counting for 30 minutes (during rush hour) and I think we counted 20 people. Eh.... Gross.... People have such nasty habits when they are driving. So just remember if you think about picking your nose in your car. Somewhere, out there, there are bored teenagers watching for you and laughing at you. That should scare em.

-- Anonymous, June 12, 2000

That doesn't just apply to people in cars -- people on the subway seem to think no one can see them either. I have seen couples going at it in the seats, people picking their noses (one guy didn't take his finger out of his nose for 45 minutes. It was fascinating, in a really horrid way) people picking their teeth, their ears, etc... People talking to themselves (and not just the requisite crazies, either.)

-- Anonymous, June 12, 2000

Once I used an empty Big Gulp as a makeshift Trucker's Buddy. While driving.

-- Anonymous, June 12, 2000

I was driving downtown at rush hour in broad daylight about a year ago and had stopped at a red light. I looked in the rear view mirror and saw two guys in a VW bug behind me passing a joint back and forth. There was a German shepherd sitting between them. Can you imagine? Most German shepherds look like they're wasted all the time anyway. All I could think was that that dog was going to be toasted by the time they got to wherever they were going.

-- Anonymous, June 12, 2000

I think I already know the answer to this, but I want to be sure.

Uh...trucker's buddy? Care to enlighten the ignorant?

-- Anonymous, June 12, 2000

Ooooh... in high school some girls and I were walking around the local "cow college" campus, and there was this guy driving his truck around kinda slowly.. so we started staring at him, and one of the girls' little sister starts freaking out. So we stop, he drives off, and she shrieks "He was JERKIN' OFF!!!!"

-- Anonymous, June 12, 2000

Um. . . next rest stop forty miles away, and the Big Gulp was empty 'cause I drank it all. I can't bear to elaborate more than that.

-- Anonymous, June 12, 2000

once we were behind this van waiting at a stoplight I think. for some reason it seemed like they were doing something odd back there. me and my friend pointed at them and my friend said, "look! oooh it looks like they're doing something weird back there. what is that they have in their hand?" to our dismay, we forgot our window was rolled down and they could hear us and one of them flicked us off and as we drove off we could have sworn the one had a gun poking through the window. we don't know why we sat behind it for soo long since apparently they weren't moving..they were stalled there. it was just weird and we drove off at top speed afraid they would shoot.

-- Anonymous, June 12, 2000

Driving home one night at about the time a local Kiss concert go out, I saw a shirtless girl's head and shoulders repeatedly disappear from sight as her male companion drove them back in the direction of Jersey. Might have even been a Camero they were driving.

-- Anonymous, June 12, 2000

Man - drive a bus sometime. You'd be amazed at what you see going on in peoples' cars.

Since you're higher than the cars, you can see right down into the seats. Lots of people like to drive around in their underwear (perhaps in the middle changing clothes?) or nothing at all.

I saw a man getting a blow job from a lady who was crouched between his legs, under the steering wheel.

I've seen kids - one, two years old - sitting underneath the dash board by the passenger seat, playing legos or something. Those get called into the cops ASAP.

I watched one guy take a leak into a cup (truckers' buddy!) ;D

And I saw a guy jack off onto his steering wheel - and then get quite pale when he glanced around and realized that I could see right into his lap. Keep that in mind the next time you decide to change your underwear while on the freeway! =)

she's actual size

-- Anonymous, June 12, 2000

The best auto nosepick I've ever seen was a couple months ago. Now, I live about half a mile from the University of Connecticut's main campus. This was game day, during the playoffs I believe. We're sitting at a stoplight at the busiest intersection in town, which of course is a zoo before and after basketball games. Right next to us on an embankment, so he's in full view of all these people, is a youngish cop performing the most obvious full-on up to the second knuckle nosepick.

We burst out laughing, the light turned green, and he kept right on digging as we sped off.

-- Anonymous, June 13, 2000

I drove a taxi in Toronto, Ontario for 5 years to help make ends meet, usually on the night shift. Anything that the human body can do, has been done in the back of my cab.

One memorable incident what when I picked up a couple after the bars had closed. As I was driving to their address, I had to stop at a light and felt the the cab bouncing up and down, with little cries and whimpers coming from the back seat. I skewed the rear view mirror up to give them an illusion of privacy, turned up the stereo, and raced to the destination. We arrived, I got paid, nice tip. but what really stuck in my mind, is that these 2 people just shared one of the most intimate moments in the back of a car driven by a stranger, and when they went up to the door, they didn't hold hands or even stand close to each other. There must have been a gap of at least 6 feet between them as they straggled up to the apartment building. And they left the condom in the back seat.

-- Anonymous, June 13, 2000

One day when I was 15, I sat in my girlfriend's grandma's 2nd-story window, which overlooked a traffic light on a busy street.

A car pulled up and all I could see down through the window was the driver and passenger's lap. The passenger had her dress hiked way up, exposing garter belt and hosiery tops (this was in the 60's, before pantyhose), and the driver's hand was...well...

I was a very sheltered girl, and to this day I can recall every detail of that scene, including how disappointed I was when the light turned green and they sped away.

-- Anonymous, June 13, 2000

In the seventh grade our softball team was on the way to a game. We pulled up beside a car and looked down. This young girl was going down on her boyfriend like they were in their bedroom. 20 girls flew to the side of the bus giggling. When the guy looked up, he turned pale and sped off. Can you imagine looking up and seeing 40 young eyes peering at you?

-- Anonymous, June 13, 2000

Gads... I was waiting in line at a car wash, in a hurry and annoyed at the wait time (by the time I realized how long the line was, I was trapped!!). The couple in the car in front of me pulled in, and I swear, the MINUTE the water started they were boinking ALL OVER the car!!! Of course they had chosen the "super deluxe wash" option, and since I drive a Dodge Ram pickup, I had sort of a *good* angle on them.... they ended with the guy Leaning his seat back and the girl *disappearing* for a bit... aside from the shock (they HAD to have known I could see), I was only a tad annoyed when they DIDN'T move after the wash ended... I finally tapped my horn to get them moving. Sheesh!

-- Anonymous, June 14, 2000

Well, I have never been blessed (?) by any of these pornographic visions... but I did see a guy sucking his thumb in his SUV this morning. Sucking. Like a baby. It was right in there.

Paper cut, maybe?

-- Anonymous, June 14, 2000

I chatter to myself in my car all the time. I also sing enthusiastically and dance on occasion. I don't even care who sees me anymore, and I cheer when I see other people doing the same. If everyone sang in their car, the world would be a better place.

-- Anonymous, June 15, 2000

I have sang and danced in the car. I have picked bodily orifices in the car. I have had sex in, on and near the car. I have cried in the car. It's amazing that I ever got any driving done. Oh, and for a brief period in my very early twenties, I lived in my car. I miss my car.

-- Anonymous, June 15, 2000

Kat, it was a pee cup...geez!

And the grossest thing I've seen is while parked at a BP station, I saw this older woman picking her nose, 2nd knuckle style and I giggled to myself thinking "eww, that woman is SOOOO GROSS". Then I turned around again while waiting for my friend to come out of the store and she HAD THE SAME FINGER IN HER MOUTH!! THIS WAS A GROWN WOMAN!! My 2 year old nephew doesn't even do THAT anymore!

-- Anonymous, June 19, 2000

last night, while driving to the grocery store, i became CONVINCED that there was some type of biting bug in trapped in my underwear. i took them (undies) off in the parking lot of HEB and shopped without them.

(there IS a huge bite on my ass, so no, i'm not crazy)

-- Anonymous, June 20, 2000

i was one of those guys once. met this chick on the net, hooked up in a park, she went down on me in the car. woohoo.

-- Anonymous, June 22, 2000

Ugh. Just got back from a family reunion. I was driving a giant motorhome, and, as others have stressed, you can see a lot from up high. I pulled up beside this man who was driving with one hand and jacking off with the other. Worst part is, he looked up at me, we made eye contact, and he just smiled and kept at it. One of the more disturbing things I've seen...

How common is this, anyway??

-- Anonymous, June 24, 2000