Say nice things about your friends.

-- Anonymous, June 27, 2000

Answers

I lived in Texas for almost 2 years before I saw them again. When I did, I felt so loved. Like nothing had changed and I was just on vacation for a while. I love them.

They are also the kind of friends that will spend all night into the morning to clean up their own puke.

They call out of the blue and cheer me up.

-- Anonymous, June 27, 2000

my friends are my life.

i love them. they've always been around when i'm depressed and need someone to talk to, when i'm trying to kick a loser boyfriend or a bad habit. they make me smile and laugh, they are the rest of me. they're all beautiful and special.

-- Anonymous, June 27, 2000

I have three friends who are close to me. I have other friends that I visit on occasion and go out with on the weekends, but those aren't the kind of friends who I would call up when I'm feeling blue and need someone to listen to me.

The three friends that I am close to are all male. I seem to not be able to relate to other women on a personal level as much -- the male friends that I have accept me for who I am and I am not competition for their dates like I seem to be with other women. Nothing makes me feel better than to come home from wherever I have been to find one of those three friends available to do a little something with. It's like when I am with those friends, the entire world seems to go away and all I see is myself with them. I suppose that is what you call a true friendship. All I know is I don't ever want to be without that feeling.

Meghan from Strangely Enigmatic


-- Anonymous, June 27, 2000

Oh, damn you, Princess of Sap! You're like a one-woman Hallmark ad that has me reaching for the phone every day this week to call my peeps.

You know, recently I was in the midst of some screaming, hilarious new- to-me people, and all I could think was "God DAMN, where is Kristen so we can tell that story about pretending we were deaf to get away from those scary old men in Gulf Shores?"

Well, she's in St. Louis. And she's married now. And she's an assistant attorney general. What? And Leigh's in Connecticut and Wendy's in Mobile and Julie's in Nashville, and my friend Shaun, who can make me laugh so hard that no sound will come out, and who - when teamed with yours truly - no one can beat at a game of Celebrity, lives in Atlanta.

Once, when we were in college, Shaun stayed at my apartment all night because he just couldn't walk out the door. He stood at the door for three hours, with his hand on the knob, but he couldn't go because he had to tell me "one more thing" or "remember that time." We finally just both fell asleep on the floor, where we had fallen down laughing.

I love those people, but if I hadn't left them to move to The Sun, I would never have met Jesse, Queen, Chica, Chris or a bunch of others.

You're going to miss your excellent Scooby Gang, Pamie, but you're not going to lose them. You think you get a lot of e-mail now?

-- Anonymous, June 27, 2000

I have been friends with my closest pal for over 10 years. She is the smartest woman I know - she works hard, plays hard, and if you need something done, she is the woman to call. She is generous with her praise, money, time, and talent, and she has an infectious laugh.

The funniest thing about her is that she is the most beautiful woman I have ever seen in person - cars stop when she crosses the street, people (men and women) stare at her with their mouths hanging open, and the worst of it is that she is just as gorgeous at 7 in the morning after a night of cocktails as she is dressed up and wearing make up. But she has no clue what she looks like, or the effect it has on people. None.

-- Anonymous, June 27, 2000

All my old friends are in New Zealand, and when I visited them recently I realised we had grown up very differently - I'm married and doing the career thing big-style, and they've only just started working and are still going to flat-warmings and snogging each other.

Despite this, they're all still cool, and I know in five years time we'll all be back at the same stage again.

-- Anonymous, June 28, 2000

I moved around alot in high school (10 schools to be exact...10's the magic #) and I have had to leave behind alot of people. I know the feeling of moving on and trying to keep in touch. It's a bitch but hopefully if both friends work on it...it can be done.

Friends are wonderful to have and deeply missed when they are gone. Gosh, this was sappy...

Nicole

-- Anonymous, June 28, 2000

I've moved to four different states within the last nine years. It sucks to leave and start all over, but when you find that one friend you connect with, you're completely relieved.

Fortunately, a tight crew of five girls I went to school with are all right here in New York, finally. We were spread out around the country for a few years.

I am lucky to have a few friends that stay in touch no matter where we're at, and they will probably be with me the rest of my life, I hope. Love transcends.

It's all about where you are at the moment, really. And I'm lucky to be surrounded by good people. *snif*

-- Anonymous, June 28, 2000

I left my best friend in Chicago, but we are still totally tight. He emails me daily, I visit him all the time, and in fact he's planning a trip out here for fall (I am funding this trip, because 1) he's a broke grad student, and 2) I still owe him for all the money he fronted me when we were both broke undergrads).

We fought, we laughed, we cried, he counseled me on relationship issues, I did the same for him, and it's all good. I really miss him sometimes. Thank God for the Internet.

-- Anonymous, June 28, 2000

Oh, oh, I just thought of the perfect anecdote to illustrate the kind of support he gave me all the time:

I'd gone out to dinner with my friend Will, his dad (who was paying for the dinner), and a bunch of other friends. This girl Meg was there that I didn't much like, but that everybody else seemed to like, and she looked totally drop-dead gorgeous, as usual. This is the kind of girl who will not set foot out of the bathroom without eyeliner. Anyway, she looked totally unbelievable, wearing this cocktail dress, and I was just wearing some nice pants and a sweater or whatever. I was completely bummed.

So after we get home, I call up Danny and tell him I'm bummed out, and I tell him why, and he says:

"Jan, why in the hell are you comparing yourself to her? Why are you jealous of Meg? First of all, she's a flaky theater major. Do you want to be a flaky theater major? I didn't think so. And second, do you think it's appropriate to wear a cocktail dress to dinner with a friend's dad? I don't. You were dressed much more appropriately and probably made better conversation to boot. So quit moping around about Meg, because trust me, you do not want to be her. Now do you want to come over and play the Dazed and Confused drinking game, or what?"

-- Anonymous, June 28, 2000

The following is an [edited, if you can believe that] email I sent to my 3 roommates/best friends in college. I think it says exactly what they mean to me. Sorry for the length....

My college experience was amazing - and it's easy to say that now; now that we're removed from the heat of it: the anxious, nervous feelings of "i'm failing" to "i'll never get a job" to "why didn't ___ call me?" to "damn that alcohol policy." That's over, and it's gone, and we're clean of it.

But those other glorious feelings. The ones that kept us up until 4 a.m. talking about life, guys, sex, Mtv, fat-free food whatever. Those are the ones I never want to lose. The image of life laid out before us, ours to rope up and ride out. The strength of friendships time can't erase.

You were there for me at every possible turn. I close my eyes and see myself walking down the slant walk, studying in the Library, sitting at the kitchen table cramming art history into my dead brain, traipsing down the stairs to Saloon, dancing at First Fun - drunk on life and youth and freedom. And in every moment you are there with me. Laughing, holding my hand, quizzing me. Making me realize that I had been given such a treasure - the opportunity to share my life, my real life, with such incredible, different people. The opportunity to study, and party and learn and LIVE in such an idealistic setting. I never wanted to take that for granted, and I really hope I didn't.

I think about all the cards I have - Hallmark and construction hearts both - that you gave me for no reason in particular. Other than to show me you were on my side. My home is cluttered with photos - snapshots of me at 18, 19, 20, 21, all with you. Such formative years, growing into our own personas, testing out the boundries of our spirits. Making our own mores.

And I don't want to just recount specific incidents, although I could talk about those times for days. It's more that I want to say two things: First, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for those bad times; the tense moments of disagreement that flourish in close roommate/friendship relationships. The petty arguments that thankfully never set us back. That we recovered from. But I'm sorry they had to happen at all. That we wasted even those few hours, days, weeks, whathaveyou. Because now, anything that we ever fought over is meaningless. Moot. Second, Thank You. For your friendship, your wisdom, your patience, the small ways you pushed me to push myself (even if you were doing so unknowingly). For making college what it was. And for making me who I am.

-- Anonymous, June 28, 2000

i've made 5 out-of-state moves in 7 years.

i once had a phone book filled with names of friends, people i could call when i was feeling lonely or homesick or both, people i thought knew me. but a lot of those people stopped making the effort, and after awhile i stopped as well. with some of them, i was hurt. i wondered what i did wrong. back when we lived in the same town, the same state, together, i thought they would be my friends forever. one by one, they dropped out of my life, and one by one, i mourned them.

my phone book now has a few listings of the few very very good friends who have stuck by me, kept in touch, made the effort. i'm not as homesick or lonely as i used to be, but if i am, i know i can call one of these good friends and we can talk. i sacrificed quantity for quality, and i'm (now) oh-so-glad i did! i don't think badly of those that got left behind, but it certainly has made me appreciate the ones who are still around. my friends now are time-tested, better-homes-and-gardens approved, real live bona-fide we-love-you-no- matter-what grade-a dyed-in-the-wool friends. we see each other MAYBE once a year, if we're lucky. sometimes it's longer, we live so far from each other. we keep in touch thru email and phone calls and silly birthday cards. and we miss each other and sometimes we cry cause that part sucks, but we tell each other we miss each other and that somehow makes it better. we send presents to each other's kids. when we see each other, we spend hours at the coney island on Mack Ave. gorging on cheese fries and smoking endless cigs, or sitting in that vetnamese place on alameda eating catfish in bean sauce and smoking cigs, or hanging out at the palace of the fine arts and smoking cigs (and joints), or hanging out at my parents house having sunset margaritas on the porch and smoking cigs, catching up with each other, and catching up on the gossip.

did i mention how much more fun gossip is when you live far away?

pamie, my dear, i wish i could say moving is easy. feeling nostalgic is normal, feeling sad is normal, and losing friends out of the whole deal is normal too. but you get more friends, and the ones you keep from the old days become better.

ok, really cheesy now, all together: that old girl scout song...

make new friends, but keep the old one is silver and the other gold

pamie, if you need or want any advice or anything at ALL from an old move-veteran like myself, please email me!!

-- Anonymous, June 28, 2000

I have these two good friends who are getting married to each other next month, friends I have known for years and who amaze me still. I don't think I could get through a workday without getting at least one goofy e-mail from Sara. And Nagle...well, Nagle is my own personal Bob Odenkirk, except not famous. So yeah, not only are they two of the greatest people I know, but they are also my Sexy Friends. Does everyone have a few Sexy Friends? I mean, I think all my friends are hot and all, but Sara and Nagle are right sexy bastards. My Sexy Friends. I love 'em.

-- Anonymous, June 28, 2000

Yeah, so I finally decided that Southwest Texas State University was the place for me. But first I had to live in Austin to make money for the upcomming school year. I made this really big move to a really big town I'd never really stayed in for more than three days at a time. I didn't know anyone. So, I got out on sixth street my first night in town and had the most pitiful, lonely, self lothing time of my life. It was Harly-Fest weekend, I was in a bar, and everyone started singing that song "margarita ville" and I almost lost my mind. I needed some friends damnit!

Then I wandered into this little Comedy Club and saw some truly amazing people at work. I wanted to get involved. I wanted to know and work with these people.

Here it is, a year later, and these people have changed my life.I have never met so many wonderful people that have come to gather in one place. Comics make for some strange friends, but they are some of the most gifted people I have ever had the pleasure to be around. I've been back and forth between San Marcos and Austin all year, but everytime I come back to Austin, I know that I can walk in that comedy club and see friendly faces everytime. Austin, thank you for making me feel welcome and at home. You know who you are. I'm sorry to see some of you leave, but I know you will be back.

Not to stay, but you'll visit.

And I have a hunch I know where you'll be.

-- Anonymous, June 29, 2000

Ok, I feel so sappy doing this, but since it's my last day in Austin, I feel it necessary. I've known Pam since we came to college a million years ago and she's always been such an incredible presence in my life. Her ability to make the people she's talking to seem like the most important person in the room is amazing. There's a word we don't use a lot anymore (not that people ever just tossed it around on the street) and it describes her: raconteur. That's what she is. That's her gift. She's the best talker we've got. Things happen when she talks. God, I sound like such an imbecile. I love her so much though. And I don't care that I'm sitting at my desk crying because my friendship with her is worth having my fellow employees stare at me. And like I said, I'm leaving, so what do I care what they think? She's a better fucking actress that Patricia Arquette too so let's stop comparing them. I have so much respect for her. I just realized that I could systematically go through all of my friends on this forum and talk about how much I'll miss them. Maybe I'll do that. Pam- you've been a gift to me. I'm so glad that I got to become an adult while near you. I know that Andie M. is no good. She's horrible. It's a weird, stupid love we have.

-- Anonymous, June 30, 2000