I didn't mean to, baby, I really didn't, and I want to start out by saying that you are still my man and that I would never betray you in any way, not ever. Really. But I also feel that we should be honest with one another, like you were honest with me about that Meg Ryan nonsense, so I really feel the need to come clean with you, even though I really didn't do anything. Not really. What I did do was...

See X-Men last night.

O my m'my my my. I didn't expect to get the whole Hugh Jackman thing, because I was less than impressed with any of the pictures that I saw of him with that modified Flock of Seagulls haircut and those Civil War-era muttonchops, but in the movie...o my. My only complaint is that he wasn't shirtless for enough of the film. I may see it again.

But first, I'll see Gladiator again, I promise, and I still love you most of all, Russ, honestly I do, but really, I'm only human.

-- Kymm Zuckert (hedgehog@hedgehog.net), July 18, 2000

Answers

Kymm, you keep away from my man!

You claimed Russell for yourself way back when, and I respected that. Didn't put up my own fan page, didn't send him presents, didn't surf the internet for more pictures of him in his leather skirt or rent "The Sum of Us" so that I could se him being all young and glossy and gay...

But if you try to take my Hugh Jackman away from me, I'll have to lock you in a closet or something until we're happily married and living off his residuals from X-Men: Wolverine Shirtless!

I'm sending in my tape for Survivor this week, and if I get to go, I'm scampering away from the Kanga or Roo tribe out in the outback, stealing a crew member's Range Rover, and driving around until I find Mr. Jackman's residence. After all, Australia's a really small little place, innit? (Looks small on my map...)

I think anyone who brings Wolverine back to the combined Koala tribe is sure to win the million bucks. Then, I'll let you out of captivity, fly you to Australia, where we can invite Russell over to dinner (sans Meg Ryan and her hair) to meet you.

Sound like a plan? If you report back on seeing X-Men again, I'll consider it an act of war...

Snikt!

-- Patrick (xingcat@yahoo.com), July 18, 2000.

Patrick, dear boy-

You are late in declaring your X-Men devotion and therefore you have a pack of wimmin ready for some fisticuffs in this latest of scraggly man battles.

Of course, I will be perfectly happy to give you "Hugh Jackman" as long as I get to keep "Hugh Jackman as Wolverine" for myself.

I wish you luck.

Love, Stef

-- Stef (stef@stef.net), July 18, 2000.

Now wait just a cotton-pickin' minute, Patrick. You listen up too, Kymm. I saw him first! No really! I saw X-Men at 1:30 on Friday! He's mine!

And I've already seen it twice. So consider it war if you wish. I'm ready to fight for this one!

I'm probably even gonna see it a third time. So there.

-- Lisa Nichols (lisa@selkie.net), July 18, 2000.

O no, don't get me wrong, Russell and I are very happy together (or we would be if we had actually met and all), you are free to fight for Hugh amongst yourselves. All I want to do is look longingly in his direction. And maybe fuck him once.

Is that too much to ask?

-- Kymm Zuckert (kymmz1@yahoo.com), July 18, 2000.

I'm sorry, ladies, but you obviously missed the subtle, almost subliminal messages that Mr. Jackman-as-Wolverine was givng off in my direction. If you look at the film closely, whenever Hugh gets in any sort of agitated state, he whispers a mantra of "Patrick...Patrick...Patrick" to himself. His lips barely move, but it's there. It's there.

-- Patrick (xingcat@yahoo.com), July 18, 2000.

Ok, obviously you are all deaf because it's quite clear in the scene with Jean Grey fixing him up after the big battle..

Jean Grey: (referring to Rogue) "She seems to be quite taken with you."

Wolverine: "My heart belongs to Stef and since it is protected by my adamantium skeleton, no piddling folks will ever be able to penetrate my deep longing for that nice girl in upstate NY who actually has a boyfriend she's devoted to, but since this is a fantasy world anyway, it doesn't really matter anyway, now does it? I pledge to spend my life making sweet sweet love to her and also crafting a set of claws for her."

It's just too clear. You must have had sound problems in your theater.

-- Stef (stef@stef.net), July 18, 2000.

Now now, Stef... I think someone's indulging in a little bit of selective hearing there. Now why on earth would someone like Wolverine want to mess with someone who's already got a boyfriend "she's devoted to" when he could have someone nice and single like me?

Obviously you missed the point of the ending of the movie, when he said he was going up north. Clearly he meant 'northwest', i.e., Michigan.

And Patrick? We could discuss time-sharing possibilities here. ;)

-- Lisa Nichols (lisa@selkie.net), July 18, 2000.

Nuh-UH!!!

He's coming to Canada, baby! He can detour by Ontario (ie. my house) on his way to Alberta! That's right on the way from Westchester! We can go play in the snow now that Sabretooth is out of the picture.

He's MINE! :)

-- Kate Dougherty (ceithern@yahoo.com), July 18, 2000.

Now... wait just a minute you Katie-come-lately! Jeez. You Canadians, everything's all about you isn't it? Hmph. Obviously Wolverine wasn't happy in Canada so he left. So take off, eh!

-- Lisa Nichols (lisa@selkie.net), July 18, 2000.

Noo! He only left because he was attacked and the other Xmen took him to the States! He loves Canada! He loves our beer!

I must also add that her is perfect for me because I can fence with him and it won't even matter if I run him through! A perfect dueling partner! And I would have great incentive to practice my parries. ;)

-- Kate Dougherty (ceithern@yahoo.com), July 18, 2000.

It's a smack-down!

-- Kymm Zuckert (kymmz1@yahoo.com), July 18, 2000.

Funny, I saw the _X-Men_ and was complaining to my filmgoing companion that Wolverine wasn't Australian, as he is in the comics, and the companion said that originally Russell Crowe was cast as Wolverine, but the shooting on _Gladiator_ went overlong. So apparently Jackman and Crowe share a certain je ne sais quoi that makes them virtually interchangeable.

And therefore it wouldn't really be cheating, eh.

-- Kim Rollins (kimrollins@yahoo.com), July 18, 2000.

I thought Dougray Scott was the original Wolverine, but shooting on Mission Impossible 2 went long?

-- Kim (fresh@fresh-hell.com), July 18, 2000.

Yes, was Dougray Scott, who must be biting pieces out of the walls by this time.

However, good point about the "it;s not cheating 'cause thery're alike" thing! I'm sure Russ won't mind.

-- Kymm Zuckert (kymmz1@yahoo.com), July 18, 2000.

Solution!

When there's mutants, there's gotta be clones just around the corner... *bing**bing**bing**bing**bing**bing**bing**bing*

One Wolverine for each of us to do as we wish with. Ain't science fiction fun?

-- Stef (stef@stef.net), July 18, 2000.

Ooh, sorry, I guess that was bad information. I don't know who the hell Dougray Scott is, though, nor why he needs three first names.

-- Kim Rollins (kimrollins@yahoo.com), July 18, 2000.

Dougray Scott = Prince Henry from Ever After. Perhaps not a great choice for Wolverine.

-- Colin (ethilrist@prodigy.net), July 19, 2000.

There is a letter in Entertainment Weekly this week, and even though Kymm didn't sign her name, I am absolutely sure she wrote it. It says:

Bless you for featuring David Morse on your It List. Through, for someone as tall as he is, you could've spared more space for him. Now, if you could find your way to featuring him and Russell Crowe on the cover of your Fall Movie Preview. Mmmmm-mmmm: manly.

I know this has nothing to do with Hugh, but it does have to do with objects of Kymm's affection so I thought I would post it here and give her the opportunity to 'fess up.

-- Kim (fresh@fresh-hell.com), July 23, 2000.

How funny! No, that wasn't written by me, but clearly by a very intelligent and insightful woman of gret wit, taste and quality.

Kymm

-- Kymm Zuckert (kymmz1@yahoo.com), July 23, 2000.

I saw X-Men a week ago, and while I didn't jump on the Hugh Jackman Bandwagon right away, over the last week I've been thinking about what a hottie he is. What's pushing me over the edge, you ask? He's a musical theatre veteran! My oh my, manly and musical! It's enough to give a poor Midwest-Northern-Southern-Southwest girl a case of the vapors!

In my eyes, though, he'll never give co-star Patrick Stewart a run for his money. Or any of my really big crushes.

If only Hugh didn't have that wife...

-- Carol (webgal@ordinarygoddess.com), July 23, 2000.

Okay, I'm glad that you all love Hugh Jackman, but now I have to defend Dougray Scott, who Colin implied would have made a poor Wolverine! Did you see him in Arabian Nights? A more attractive crazy man I have never seen (I'm not implying that Wolverine is crazy, just that you shouldn't judge Dougray on that romantic fluff that was Ever After). It put him immediately into the role of my third husband. Yum! (I realize that I may have entirely discounted my opinion in your eyes, by admitting that I watched a mini-series on tv, but I couldn't help it, Dougray was so sexy).

-- Sasha N. (tour683@yahoo.com), July 26, 2000.

Kim -

Wolverine is Canadian in the comics, not Australian. His official bio is at the Marvel Comics website: here

I remember when his character was first introduced to the X-men comics way back when; any of my comic reading friends were pleased as punch that there was finally a Canadian superhero, Captain Canuck notwithstanding. Regardless, my wifes reaction to Hugh was quite Daffy Duck-esque: Da-rool! Da-rool!

Hope my html coding is correct; I'm a pussy who normally uses Dreamweaver.

-- Ron Collings (dragon@crescentschool.org), July 28, 2000.

D'oh! I suck at html. Feel free to smack me down. Here's the non-linked url for Wolverine's bio.

http://www.marvel.com/hero/wolverine/wolverine.html#bio

I'm such a putz. . .

-- Ron Collings (dragon@crescentschool.org), July 28, 2000.

So, did y'all see Hugh on Leno the other night? I wasn't so impressed. I mean, he seems very nice and funny, and he has a lovely baritone, but I gotta tell ya, I prefer Wolverine! I miss the beard, and I really like 'em seething and tortured (no duh) and Hugh seems pretty happy and cheerful and, well, musical theatre.

I do, however, recommend the new Rolling Stone, which has a really good article and a kickass picture. Literally.

-- Kymm Zuckert (kymmz1@yahoo.com), July 28, 2000.

Not to beat a dead Wolverine, but I'm sure that Logan was originally Australian. When the X-Men made a guest appearance on the animated show "Spiderman and Friends" in the mid-eighties (the show's regulars were Spidey, Iceman, and Firestar), Logan spoke with an Australian accent. I suspect that his history has been rewritten, which is extremely common in the comics world -- after John Byrne rewrote Wonder Woman's history to exclude Wonder Girl, Marv Wolfman et al had to scramble to find a new background for Donna Troy, for example. Over the years Wolverine's skeletal alterations have been attributed to various evildoers, as well. Writers are always tinkering with origin stories.

As for Canadian superheroes, what, all of Alpha Flight wasn't enough for you guys?

Thing is, I know that if I open up my collection and start looking for Logan/Australia connections I know I'm not going to get any work done for the rest of the day, I'm just going to lounge around messing with comic books and eating the entire box of doughnuts I bought yesterday.

-- Kim Rollins (kimrollins@yahoo.com), July 28, 2000.

It'll keep your mind off your hair, won't it?

-- Kymm Zuckert (kymmz1@yahoo.com), July 28, 2000.

http://www.geocities.com/Athens/Olympus/7160/byrd.html

This is an extremely comprehensive (at least, relative to what is actually known about Logan's life) guide to the history of Logan. To sum it up for those who might not want to get sucked in, his strongest ties are to Canada and Japan. He was born in the Canadian Rockies. It mentions Australia once when he's there for a bit on a mission, but that's about it.

Other sites for fun and amusement:

http://www.smartlink.net/~falcon/comics/wolverine_main.html All things Wolverine!

Kymm: I caught the Tonight Show appearance too. It amazes me what a different a bit more hair and a facial expression can do. I had seen pictures of Hugh Jackman non-Wolverinitized before that too. It's weird how different a person can look. And I agree. He seems like a wonderfully nice man and stuff, but the Wolverine character is who gives me the hots.

-- Stef (stef@stef.net), July 28, 2000.

The acclaimed London production of Oklahoma! that my new boyfriend Hugh (sorry, chicks) starred in is coming to Broadway. My roommate and I are salivating while wondering if Hugh will be reprising his role...

-- Melissa (centerbeth@yahoo.com), July 29, 2000.

Kymm,

You really need to get over this obsession of yours for antipodean men. Either that or just move down here. They are swarming all over the place here.

Plus, you will have the advantage of seeing the next hottie before he becomes hot. I have seen Hugh Jackman in about 2 films that I don't think were ever released overseas (Erskineville Kings, and that one with Claudia Karvin), plus he did several stage shows before he went to London.

And, really, Russell and Hugh aren't all Aus has to offer. You can be introduced to the wonderful sport of Aussie Rules which produces the best bodies seen anywhere on the planet.

To prove my point, look here:

http://www.essendonfc.com.au/photos/default.asp

They are, generally, as thick as two short planks, but you can't have everything

Di

PS

Mattie Lloyd and Michael Long are mine. Caracella is mine in reserve, as is Mark Mecuri. You can have the rest

-- Di van Dulken (thedog@dogmac.com), July 30, 2000.

O my. Them are some pretty boys, them are.

I must quote Patrick, who asked in this entry how Australians manage to walk down the street without constantly dislocating their necks, what with all the stunning men wandering around.

Clearly the nicest thing about Australian Rules Football is the thing that nobody has ever mentioned, the teeny little shorts! This is my main complaint with basketball and boxing, that the men's shorts are just getting longer and longer, until they look like culottes. Now these, these are prper shorts. If you can tell without squinting whether a man dresses right or left, it's automatically a sport worth watching. Closely and avidly.

-- Kymm Zuckert (kymmz1@yahoo.com), July 30, 2000.

g'day. sadly, i think the truth is that russell is really a kiwi. that is, he's not true blue aussie. but australia seems to make a habit of claiming kiwis for themselves. if you're a russell crowe fan (and obviously, who isn't) i'd recommend that you see "the sum of us", a very early movie in which he plays a gay plumber. and having taken a quick glimpse at the AFL players in the photo, i can tell you without a doubt that their shorts have got longer and baggier; i used to go and watch when my husband played, and the shorts were a LOT smaller and tighter then ...

-- jilly (jilly@bigpond.net.au), July 31, 2000.

Heavenly day, what were they wearing, thongs? And yes, I know that he's from NZ, but he's 36 years old and moved to Oz when he was 4, so I think that he's as much Australian as he is Kiwi by now. I call myself a New Yorker and I've only lived here for 18 years.

Do you know how to tell the difference between an Australian magazine article on Russell and a New Zealand one? I know, because I got several of them in the post yesterday. The Australian ones call him "Australia's greatest export" and the NZ ones call him "Kiwi actor Russell Crowe" in just about every sentence. It's very funny.

And, funnily enough, along with the mags I got my copy of The Sum of Us, too! It was a very good mail day yesterday.

-- Kymm Zuckert (kymmz1@yahoo.com), August 01, 2000.

Now, Now, Jilly,

You know it is far more simple than that.

If they are successful, they are Australian, until we stop liking them, then they are from wherever else they are.

EG: Mel Gibson is now American again. Russell is Australian, except for when he is in bar brawls, when it is his kiwi influence. It is simple, really.

Also, I think what you, Kymm, and Patrick are failing to take into account is that there are several million Australian men, of whom you have heard of less than 10. Trust me, there are plenty here who you wouldn't strain an eyelash to view, let alone a neck. Show only the top 10 American exports and you might think the same. However, I repeat, we have a distinct advantage in having AFL here.

Cheers

Di

PS On reflection, I have decided to claim the entire Essendon football club as mine. You can have the rest (as if anyone would want those others)

-- Di van Dulken (thedog@dogmac.com), August 01, 2000.

I have a girlfriend who went to drama school with Hugh Jackman and - yes, friends - she has kissed him. That makes me one degree away from pashing Hugh Jackman.

Mind you, last I heard (which is when I tripped down to Melbourne to see Sunset Boulevard) he was very happily married, but I suppose things could change ...

cheers

-- anna (anna@lucidity.au.com), August 02, 2000.

OK, everyone. Yes, there's Hugh and there's Russel. I totally see your point. But what about a little something for the kids? Two words, folks: Heath Ledger. (Oh, yeah, and then one more: yum!)

-- MissSlugg (missslugg@yahoo.com), August 03, 2000.

The kids are welcome to him. He seems nice enough, but to me he's almost completely unformed. I like 'em better with a little weathering--pictures of Russell from ten-twelve years ago leave me kinda cold.

-- Kymm Zuckert (kymmz1@yahoo.com), August 03, 2000.

Kymm likes to leave her men out in the dirt in the rain and then beat on them with chains and hammers. She then lays them out in the sun until they have dried to a perfect leathery crisp. They are then put in a pen and forced to fight with each other and the winner, most likely bloodied and bruised and falling apart, becomes the love of her life.

-- Stef (stef@stef.net), August 03, 2000.

Get. Out. Of. My. MIIIIIIIIIIIIIND!!!!! (breaks down into sobs)

-- Kymm Zuckert (kymmz1@yahoo.com), August 03, 2000.

yeah yeah i know di, that we if we love them they're australian and if we don't they're not. seems perfectly reasonable, i've disowned my own kids on the same basis.

who's hugh jackman? any relation of hugh jass?

-- jilly (jilly@bigpond.net.au), August 03, 2000.

i suspect that if we decanted hugh into a pair of those footy shorts, a new noun would enter the australian vernacular: the "ackman".

& yes, i recommend you all watch "erskineville kings" & on the subject of heath ledger, "two hands" is an excellent little snapshot of sydney, & funny too. and, as for the most beautiful australian film ever made, i nominate "angel baby". sorry if this is a little tangential, but this *is* a film appreciation discussion, right? :-)

-- anonymously answered, August 10, 2000

LOL. I completely agree with the person above about the survivor thing. That was the first thought that came to my mind when I heard about it. Screw tribal council. I would run away to Russell Crowe farm even though it would take about the length of the show to walk there I would make it.LOL

-- Janine Crockett (waterside_jc@yahoo.com), December 09, 2000.

OK, I have seen Gladiator 11 times and I have seen the wolf man ( jack ) so many times I have lost count. In slow motion even!!! So if anyone is to claim these two studmuffins it is ME!!!!

Russell in the morning, Jack ( my name for him ) in the night!!!!

-- Shelley A. Reid (s..reid@sympatico.ca), October 19, 2001.

The above person claimed they should be able to claim them just because they have watched there movies a couple of times. I think we should have a trivia contest on who deserves them.Instead of claiming just because we watched it a couple of times that means we are really dedicated.

-- Janine Crockett (waterside_jc@yahoo.com), December 30, 2001.

Well darlins', I think that Hugh is only hot when he is in the X- Men movie, so therefore, all of you can have him, but the REAL Wolverine is mine. Russell Crowe is a hottie, and I have seen his movie pver 30 times, so anyone who wants to debate on that, well bub... we just might have a problem, now won't we?? *Snikt* Unless you want to taste some adamantium, then leave Wolverine alone. Peace...

-- Tiffany Gunnison (MeTaLChIc5869@cs.com), March 20, 2002.

Oh, yeah, if you all thougt that the "X-Men" movie was great, and that Hugh was fine, well go here> Aaron's Hugh Jackman Page - Information on Hugh Jackman < to findout about the next movie "X- Men2". Have fun darlins'!

-- Tiffay Gunnison (MeTaLChIc5869@cs.com), March 20, 2002.

Tifanny. I'll debate with you.LOL. On who is the bigger Russ Le Roq fan. You've seen one of his movies 30 times?

-- JC (waterside_jc@yahoo.com), April 22, 2002.