Biggest Y2K Bug Of All: Nothing Happened
by Lisa Picarille (January 07, 2000)
URL: http://www.PlanetIT.com/docs/PIT20000107S0024

I hope all you competent IT professionals are happy knowing you robbed me of the chance to sit in my freezing cold house reading the latest issue of Vanity Fair while eating Spam by candlelight.

Some are calling the whole Y2K effort a bona fide success story. Tens of billions of dollars were spent over the last five years to ward off any potential problems when computers rolled over to Jan. 1, 2000 -- and it worked like a charm.

But I call it a sham. I was promised panic, havoc, disaster, and possible destruction. At the very least, inconveniences. Instead, nothing. I feel cheated.

I spent a good portion of the day before New Year's watching Peter Jennings change clothes and offer updates as the new year arrived in each time zone. No problems in New Zealand. Everything A-OK in Australia. China, Russia, Africa -- nothing. Yay, Europe! Finally, something -- a glitch in the clock on the Eiffel Tower. Little did I know that would end up being the highlight of my Y2K doom and gloom.

Even before Christmas, I imagined further extending my holiday when our office would have to be shut down on Monday, Jan. 3. Our systems would be up, but things would be a tad funky. E-mail wouldn't be working. And our entire voice mail system would be rendered inoperable. The generous folks I work for would give us all the day off, with pay.

It's not like I was hoping for airline disasters or anything else that in any way might cause actual harm to anyone. I just wanted a few little glitches that would let me pretend to be somewhat of a Luddite for a day or two...or three. No faxes, no e-mail, no cell phones, no television, possibly no ability to make microwave popcorn.

I was going to hunker down next to my battery-operated boom box, nurse my New Year's Eve hangover, and contemplate a time when life was simpler.

Look, I didn't build a bunker, buy a gun, or even contemplate a move to Montana. I simply purchased some basic survival supplies, took some rudimentary precautions, and waited eagerly.

Now what am I supposed to do with several gallons of water, enough candles to light a small monastery, a mountain of batteries, and 12 cans of refried beans?

On the positive side, I have a full tank of gas and a wad of cash in my wallet. Both will come in handy -- Y2K bug or not.

Now if I can only get our IT staff to band together and spend whatever it takes to get my e-mail program from conflicting with my browser and my audio player...

-- cpr (buytexas@swbell.net), July 18, 2000

Answers

If The Shit Hit The Fan [tm], people would have bitched.

If nothing happened (as it didn't), people would have bitched.

If it was somewhere in between the two, people would have bitched.

It's what we as a species do best.

-- I'm Here, I'm There (I'm Everywhere@so.beware), July 18, 2000.

cpr, why do you feel cheated? anything extra you bought, give it to someone who can use it, the homeless, the unfortunate. Open your eyes and reconize the "supposedly" high dollar I.T.'s, are nothing more than greaseless auto mechanics. Haven't we been led astray before by a auto mechanic or two, who did not know what they hell they were talking about? But, they took our money. after we took their advice. Some of theirs is a "sacred sect", to keep us stupid, while they command a higher salary. I too, have seen many I.T. who could not fix one little bitty problem on my computer, and say "They only fixed hardware or software", and they distained the opposite. Like the other field was the collection of street garbage. It is an effort of building job security, (or idol worship) while they think to keep us ignorant, so we bow to their knowledge. Not unlike the specialist medical doctors, who express horror, that we would like a second opinion. Remember, which ever trade it is, and they are all trades, you are paying the money, you have the right to ask and refuse. I remember an old saying, "the higher in earthly stature a person rises, the more illegible, their signature. Call each trade to task, for their supposed knowledge........It is your money, they are only "hired hands".

-- Gotta (st@nduponthis.org), July 18, 2000.

cpr, you and all your doomer friends felt disappointed because nothing happened. Yet you cry and whine that you never wanted y2k to happen. WHICH IS IT?

-- Stiv Bader (sbader@lookyloo.con), July 18, 2000.

You should be thankful nothing happened. Keep your preps, but rejoice in the fact that millions did not die.

-- Forum Newbie (I'd@rather.not), July 18, 2000.

Cpr, I don't know what your true motivation is for this, but let me give you a really good piece of advice. Try to get laid sometime before next week, it will change your whole outlook on life and maybe, just maybe, give you something to think about besides Y2k, I mean like, GET A LIFE DUDE !!!

-- Mr.Slippery (slip@slide.cum), July 18, 2000.

Picarille's vision would have added a little harmless spice at least.

-- Carlos (riffraff@cybertime.net), July 18, 2000.

This is all very lovely.

When are all you people going to start acting like you realize what the present reality is (and I include CPR in this assessment):

IT'S OVER. OVER! FINISHED. DONE WITH. KAPUT.

Move on to other, more productive things, would be my suggestion.

Those who don't, are addicts -- by the commonly accepted, classical definition. Yep. Look it up.

-- Chicken Little (panic@isover.net), July 19, 2000.

http://www.greenspun.com/bboard/q-and-a-fetch-msg.tcl?msg_id=003UO4

Hoax or Had to?

-- hoax (or@had.2), July 19, 2000.

Now what am I supposed to do with several gallons of water, enough candles to light a small monastery, a mountain of batteries, and 12 cans of refried beans?

Water the garden or drink it.

Donate them them to a small monastry.

Fry the beans for a third time.

Buy a load of appliances with batteries not included.

-- richard (richard.dale@onion.com), July 19, 2000.

I hope all you competent IT professionals are happy

very after having cleaned up and of course done a bloody good job for which you bastards should be eternally grateful but are not

-- richard (richard.dale@onion.com), July 19, 2000.