we went to walmart last night.a bald man walked by and my 4yr. old went up to him and said"where is your hair? grampa forgets his some times too", the man started laughing and said" what do you mean i do not have hair?",she said" it is gone" he said" guess i better look for it".my 4 yr. old then said "you better,grandma said bald man look goofy thats way grandpa wears a rug". well i am standing there w/ the other 3 trying to get her to come over wondering what to say to the guy and more then likely red as an apple, and guess who walks around the corner? GRANDPA!{my husbands dad}. the 4yr.old in all her glory asks grandpa to share is hair!. thank heavens the 3 yr. old needed to go to bathroom! fast get away!

i am sure to get a phone call from the in laws today. my father in law is very well known around here and i know he thinks no one knows about his hair, even though it is hard to miss. oh well

have your kids ever said something that catches you off gaurd?

i have alot of friends whom are gay and such i have already told them my 4yr. old is going to ask lots of questions soon and to be ready!

-- renee oneill (oneillsr@home.com), August 24, 2000

Answers

That put a smile on my face .Mine have said some not so nice things and made me want to crawl in a hole .Like the time my oldest was in a bank line with my aunt .The line was long and she stated "I don't like standing in these @#$%!@* lines .Well to make matters worse aunty wasn't sure what she said as she was only 3 and asked say that again ,this time it was load and clear and everyone in the bank heard .

How about the time in K-mart and look Mom that woman is sooo big ! And you guessed it she turned and looked at me .

Or how about my son a 3 "what a wonderful age " who had a nice very large woman bend down to say high and he just couldn't resist grabbing hold of her boob ! And to top it off would let go , poor hubby thought he would get slugged for that .Kids gotta love em

-- Patty Gamble (fodfarms@slic.com), August 24, 2000.

When my daughter was about 4, I had to go on a business trip to Florida and for a discount I could take the family along.

"Guess what CeCe. You and me and Mom are going to Miami." She looked a bit puzzled and turned to Grandma. "Grandma. We're going to YOUR-A-MI!" "You mean MI-A-MI". "That's right! It's YOUR-A-MI! That's in Florida!"

(:raig

-- Craig Miller (CMiller@ssd.com), August 24, 2000.

I will never forget going to Wal Mart with our son after seeing the new Flubber movie. In line, he pointed out to his mother and I how the extremly large lady in front of us reminded him of the "flubberbuns" scene. She heard and she had a copy of Flubber in her cart. Hope ,I never see that lady again. We still laugh about it, DJ denies it.

-- Jay Blair (jayblair678@yahoo.com), August 24, 2000.

As I entered the restroom of a very nice restaurant , a young girl (around 3yrs old)met me~~" it stinks in here because my momma has the potty full and it won't go down". I tried to make her mom feel better by saying "we have all, had things happen like that" her reply " Did you stink as bad as my mommy?" As soon as I got in the empty stall the women opened the door and almost ran out~~with out a word!

-- Debbie T in N.C. (rdtyner@mindspring.com), August 24, 2000.

My poor afflicted Mother - When we were little (I was 7-ish) we went to the "big town" to do a little Christmas shopping and to my little- girl delight, the first set of bins as you came into the store held bags of our favorite candy. They were haystacks, those choc. covered creme "humps", but we had always known them by another name, which my mother hadn't given a second thought (as we're all wont to do with things that are to familiar to really think about), at least until I spotted them and yelled out to a full store "Look Mom, n****r toes! (The racial "N" word).

We have never been hustled out of a store that quickly, before or since, and my mother (a true civil rights advocate and hard-core non- segregationinst) must have been mortified down to her little pink toes! I don't know how we kids ever made it through childhood alive!

-- Soni (thomkilroy@hotmail.com), August 24, 2000.

We live near a large Amish community and they often shop at wal-mart. My old boss was at wal-mart with his son (This was around thanksgivings)when some amish came around the corner and his son said "Look dad pilgrams"

-- Grant Eversoll (thegrange@earthlink.net), August 24, 2000.

One night while bathing my (then) 3 year old son, Jared, he looked up at me and asked 'Momma, do you love me?' Mortified that he thought I'd didn't love him, I quickly said 'Of course I do..you mean everything to me..I love you so much, you are my son' To that he replied, 'You are my moon'. Not too funny, but so dear to my heart...great topic. I bet us parents could go on for days....

-- Karen H. (karlog@rocketmail.com), August 24, 2000.

Speaking of Pilgrims, my son David came home from Head Start around Thanksgving time and asked me, "Mom, did you come over on the Mayflower?"

Then there was the time when he was about eight years old and we took him to the doctor's office. The doctor said to him, "You must be David." To which he replied, "Yes. And this is my mom, and this is my dad. His farts stink really bad." Did my husband's face turn red!

-- Laurie in WI (Laffee7994@aol.com), August 24, 2000.

My firstborn was a C-section, and my daughter was born three years later the old-fashioned way. Throughout the pregnancy, I had been adamant about having a VBAC (vaginal birth after C-section). So, we are shopping one day, waiting at the check-out, and an older woman is admiring my baby daughter. To this, my son loudly responded, "yes, she's cute, and my mom pushed her out of her butt."

More information than was neccesary, without a doubt.

It seems that check-out lines and preschoolers are a dangerous combination!!

-- Rachel (rldk@hotmail.com), August 24, 2000.

Another fine reason for automated self check out.

-- Jay Blair (jayblair678@yahoo.com), August 25, 2000.

This one happened just Friday, and I'm glad it was only me listening in!!! I had to go file some papers downtown and the boys were with me -- threatened to within an inch of their short lives to behave while I was doing my errands, and told to walk and talk and conduct themselves like young gentlemen.

My four year old doesn't WALK anywhere, he either runs (forwards or backwards, depending on his mood) or DANCES. I had asked him to walk properly as I had my hands full of papers and couldn't hold his hand.

Nothing doing. He couldn't walk, he had to run, with his eyes closed, of course, and the obvious happened, he tripped and fell. The result was minor injuries healed with a kiss, but Mom was near the end of her tether, and after hustling them into the truck, I let loose and told them off for not listening to me in the first place. After venting, I asked them to sit quietly and turned on the radio.

Over the therapeutic music (driving in city traffic annoys me), I overheard a conversation that went something like this:

4yearold -- "Why did Mommy get mad?" 6yearold -- "Because you didn't listen to her." 4yearold -- "But I don't listen to her lots."

End of conversation. Mother trying not to die laughing while trying to avoid city traffic.

Sometimes we have to accept our children for who they are -- and laugh it off.

-- Tracy (trimmer@westzone.com), August 27, 2000.

We are just getting going over a high bridge and into the big city...my 5 year old daughter looks at me and asked "Are we going light speed yet?"

-- Susan Bisard (cobwoman@yahoo.com), August 27, 2000.

My neices (an 8 yr. old and a 3 yr. old) were in the next room, fussing at each other, as usual, when the 3 yr. old blurted out a gem of truthfulness that cracked me up: "Yes, but you hit me second!"

-- Ruth Quinlan (rhndjn@juno.com), August 30, 2000.