My wife subscribes to a womans magazine, called, Self . Its pretty good, I think, and often has some interesting information. Todays issue had an article on the safest metropolitan areas in the U.S, (for a woman) to live. I thought many of you on the forum would like to see some of the things they listed. They considered factors like crime, availability and quality of medical facilities, local foods and eating trends, and environmental criteria.

They included a short run-down on each of the top ten best cities.

HEALTHIEST LOCATIONS:

1 Provo, Utah

2 Nassau-Suffolk Counties, New York

3 Stamford, Conn.

4 Portland, Maine

5 San Francisco

6 Appleton, Wisconsin

7 Burlington, Vermont

8 Honolulu

9 Boston

10 Boulder, Colo.

11 Bergen-Passaic, NJ

12 Fargo, ND

13 Orange County, CA

14 San Louis Obispo-Atascadero-Paso Robles, CA

15 Middlesex-Somerset-Hunterdon, NJ

16 Washington, DC (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

17 Portsmouth-Rochester, NH

18 San Jose, CA

19 Green Bay, WI

20 Billings, MT

-

I was not surprised to see that the area where we live, down on the bayou country below Beaumont-Port Arthur, Texas, did not make the top ten. But then, I saw the WORST ten:

1 Beaumont-Port Arthur, TX

2 Bakersfield, CA

3 Flint, MI

4 Memphis

5 Atlantic City

6 Modesto, CA

7 Stockton, CA

8 Lafayette, LA

9 Rockford IL

10 Baton Rouge,LA

-

AND some other tid-bits from the article:

TOP 10 CANCER CITIES

1 Jersey City

2 New York

3 Bergen Passaic, NJ

4 Newark, NJ

5 Middlesex-Somerset-Hunterdon, NJ

6 Monmouth-Ocean City, NJ

7 Atlantic City-Cape May, NJ

8 Nassau-Suffolk, NY

9 Philadelphia

10 Newburgh, NY

-

And still more, from their survey:

-Dirtiest drinking water----Huntsville, AL

-Best Pap testing rate-----Galveston, TX

-Least fit city-----Fort Wayne, IN

-Highest happiness level-------Billings, MT

-Cleanest city---Nashville

-Fewest M.D.s per capita------Brazoria, TX

-Highest Suicide rate-----Reno, NV

-Dirtiest city---Philadelphia

-Highest rape rate------St. Louis

-Safest place to drive------Lawrence, MASS

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I dont know how they came up with some of these, but like I said, the magazine is called Self, and its the October issue. Buy one, or they probably have a web-site with more info., if you wish. Youll have to pardon me now, I have to go put a for sale sign on the lawn.

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-- Lon Frank (lgal@exp.net), September 29, 2000

Answers

Wow, Washington DC is on the list of the best! I guess that says something about the impartiality of the observors.

Gene

-- gene (ekbaker@essex1.com), September 29, 2000.

Lon, Lon. Don't you know you're supposed to sell *before* the negative PR? And generate some in the place you want to buy??

Betcha any Canadian city has all of yours beat hands down ;-) 'Course you'd have to check your guns at the border...

And get some real winter wear...

Oh, well.

-- Tricia the Canuck (jayles@telusplanet.net), September 29, 2000.

check my guns....CHECK MY GUNS!!!!!????????

Why them there is figntin' words, little lady. :)

I was talking to someone the other day, who had traveled to a Canuckian city, (I don't remember which), and they said they came away with two impressions; the cleanliness, and the flowers.

I really want to visit up there, but I'll hav to wait now untill the sun comes back once again to the great frozen wilderness.

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-- Lon Frank (lgal@exp.net), September 29, 2000.

OH, I just found these; they musta missed them in the magazine article somehow.

-City with the greatest number of trot lines per capita: Geezerville-on-the-Bayou

-City most likely to have gator tacos on the menus of fine restaurants: Geezerville-on-the-Bayou

-City most abundant in amateur health care practitioners: Geezerville-on-the-Bayou

-Safest city in which to drive a pireaux: Geezerville-on-the-Bayou

-City where it is most suitable to drop in on your neighbors at suppertime with nothing but a possum, two ears of corn, and a jar of jiggle juice: Geezerville-on-the-Bayou

-City with the lowest number of real teeth per capita: Geezerville-on-the-Bayou

TOP TEN CITIES TO GET GATOR BIT IN:

1 Geezerville-on-the-Bayou

2 Geezerville-on-the-Bayou

3 Geezerville-on-the-Bayou

4 Someplace in Florida

5 Geezerville-on-the-Bayou

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-- Lon Frank (lgal@exp.net), September 29, 2000.

I don't understand how Bergen Passaic, NJ, can be considered the 11th best city to live in when it's also 3rd under the top cancer cities? This magazine has a slight credibility problem if you ask me! :-)

Hey Kritter, Rob and BB, you guys better move quick!!! NJ is NOT a healthy place to be! (Gayla needs to become a denture sales-lady down in ol' Geezerville!) :-)

-- Gayla (privacy@please.com), September 30, 2000.

The reason it can be the eleventh best city and be third in cancer is because the cancer gets rid of all the smokers and unhealthy people. :-) And what an oxymoron, ....not you Gayla..., but the idea that cities are the best places to live. The best place to live is ANYWHERE where there is country! Amen?

-- BB (peace2u@bellatlantic.net), October 01, 2000.

AMEN, BB!

You just may be on to something here. A whole new theory of demographic concept:

-smoking kills off the smokers

-bad traffic kills off the bad drivers

-high gator populations kill off smelly old fishermen

WAIT A MINUTE!!...............................

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-- Lon Frank (lgal@exp.net), October 01, 2000.

TOP TEN CANCER CITIES

6. Monmouth-Ocean County, NJ

Why is that anyhows? Well, we have Ciba Giga, a pharmacutical planet in Toms River,..and we have a nuclear power plant, Oyster Creek, in Forked River,...but also we have an ENORMOUS population of SENIOR CITIZENS....ENORMOUS...there are like twenty seperate Senior communities JUST in Ocean county. This is almost like Miami East. Might have something to do with those numbers.

STill...I wouldn't drink the water...buurp.

-- kritter (kritter@adelphia.net), October 01, 2000.

I'm a 30 year old male and I'VE TRAVELED ALL OVER THE US and the best city i've ever been in for a long period of time where i wanted to sTay when i was there on business was: GREEN BAY! The people there are the friendliest and most happy. The economy is good,plenty of jobs,no crime compared to most small and medium sized citeis with 60,000 -300,000 people. The air actually has no smell(clean),water is pure,no minorities,everyone is bright,white,polite and not on welfare. NO murders,rapes,kidnappings and the people are all hard working. I've stayed in over 32 major cities and Greenbay is #1 if you're white and looking for a safe city to live in where you feel wanted. Every one speaks english and the small % of minorities that live there are so hard working and gracious. I'm sorry if I offended anyone with my statement but, Greenbay will be my home once I straighten some affairs out. I'll be living there real soon. Madison,Wi and St.Cloud,Mn or Edina are all very lovely. Please e- mail me directly for response. I'd love to chat. Shannon

-- shannon macri (vitamax3@aol.com), January 17, 2002.

But .... but .... it's like "cold" up there.

Besides they have the Green Bay Packers up there.

I just couldn't stand it ....

-- Robert A. Cook, PE (Marietta, GA) (cook.r@csaatl.com), January 17, 2002.

Watch it, Robert. Green Bay Packers fans are not in a good mood right now.

-- Peter Errington (petere7@starpower.net), January 21, 2002.

As if I had any reason to "dislike" the Packers.....

Ever since Kramer got Bart Starr over the line in that frozen lemonade bowl ..... Not that us Dallas fans have long memories or anything.

-- R. A. Cook, PE (Marietta, GA) (racookpe@earthlink.net), January 21, 2002.

Ocean City, NJ is not in Monmouth County or even near it. We are located in Cape May County, the last county in the state. We are a small island resort town and I doubt we even make the list for cancer. Our population is around 15,000. I suggest someone check their facts.

-- Jenn Freeman (jwaston@worldnet.att.net), May 18, 2002.

Oh sorry if that confused you Jen, it was listing both Monmouth AND Ocean county (side by side counties here on the shore that for some reason get considered ONE big county sometimes) as a high cancer rate area. I live in Ocean County. I do know where Ocean City is though.. I went there once ;)

-- kritter (kritter@oldaddy.net), May 19, 2002.

Bergen-Passaic safe AND clean? Well, to be honest, it IS safe, even though it's pratically a run-down ghetto with lots of manufacturing companies polluting the drinking water.

I used to live around that area and let me tell you, it's n-a-s-t-y, but it IS safe to be in, god only knows why. I used to walk well past midnight around that area all by myself (and so did my girlfriend at the time) and it was pratically dead, no human sounds at all. No one bothers you, even though it's pratically a ghettoish area. It looks scary as hell and it CAN be in some instances, but in reality it is safe, again, GOD only knows why. Heck, I felt safer there than I do in most large cities, including NYC. I guess the only reason why it's safe is because everyone's too poor to committ a crime and not get away with it (Oooh, bad joke! LOL!).

As for the clean part, I think the editor's of the magazine were high on crack when they wrote that! They must've got paid by the county officials... SOMEONE's obviously greased the squeeky wheel of politics way too much.

-- Jace Montague (jacegw2000@aol.com), July 07, 2002.

I'm just curious how Nassau-Suffolk counties NY can be the second healthiest city if it is number 8 on the cancer list?? I grew up in Suffolk Co & left in 1969 but I did have a friend who also grew up there die of leukemia around 1974. Any correlation? She lived in Farmingville,Suffolk Co.

-- Ruth Balaity (partsgirl279@hotmail.com), October 03, 2002.

Here's a bit of information for everybody who lives in the east coast: The east coast is loaded with pollution, thanks to all the wonderful manufacturing, chemical, and nuclear power plants residing in those areas. Not only does the east coast have high cancer rates, it also has a higher amount of birth defects and mortality rates than anywhere else in the U.S. People act like they're still living in the dark ages, continuing to drink tap water, living right by the factories, smoking, and then, wondering why they and their children are falling off like flies! And, by the way, this is a new century. Racist remarks are proof that a person didn't quite evolve into a human being.....Which might be further proof that he might have been born near a chemical plant..... No offense to the east coast. it's a beautiful place to VISIT..... Also, NASHVILLE, the "cleanest" city?! What a joke!

-- ericka J. (erickaej@excite.com), November 22, 2002.

Bergen-Passaic is "practically a run-down ghetto"? Depends if you are talking about Saddle River or Paterson.

-- (lars@indy.net), November 24, 2002.

Hey, I'm from Beaumont, born and raised! How is this the worst place for a woman to live? Is it based on crime against women? Please do tell b/c I want to be safe when I'm home. I concealed my name for safety reasons ...lol

-- Anony Mous (ancobc@hotmail.com), January 23, 2003.

That is of course if you're born in Paterson..

Which reminds me of that Bible quote..

".. can any good come from Nazareth?"

*s

______________________________________________ P.S. Bergen County hates the poor. But, of course that could be a general New Jersey dilemma. Jesus wanted some time there, but they made Him sleep in His jeep. Blame the local public servants..

Did you pay to use this forum?*s

*coughs*..

-- passaiccountygirls (joy@erols.com), February 14, 2004.

OoooKaay. To cover the waterfront, I don't know just where Paterson is, but would mightily like to have an old Paterson Colt. My dad almost traded a fancy looking but not all that expensive rifle for a gun which sounded like a Paterson to me as he described it. This was on a Wyoming hunting trip in the '70's. But the guy with the pistol got thrashed by his wife's boyfriend after a confrontation. She'd run off with the other fellow, and the husband was no longer in good condition or a trading mood by the time Daddy got back to him to finalize the deal.

I have a friend from LaMarque, Texas who's cancer is in remission. In one of those small world stories, it turns out that he knew some of my wife's distant kin who lived just down the block from him years ago. Most of them are dead now, many from cancer. I asked him about contact with the local chemical plants, etc. He knew of no specific likely cause and just said the normal color of air was green down there. Parts of New Jersey, like parts of the Gulf Coast and other industrialized areas are about as hazardous to your health as starvation, which is often the byproduct of friendlier environs. Hard to breathe fire about the ills of industry when it has put so much food on so many tables. And what's the alternative? If we don't retain some onshore mfg jobs, we may find out quicker than we want to. Sure, we've got messes to clean up and a future to protect, but we can't all go back to the forest primeval without resigning ourselves to a cave man's standard of living in the bargain. Absolutism abounds, mostly from those with no viable answers or those who have already amassed enough money to get outta Dodge in style (which is, by the way, the reason Colorado has shown signs of becoming a California clone, politically).

As for the question about anything good coming out of Nazareth, the line was spoken by Nathanael after Philip found him and told him about Jesus. Could be taken for a slur, couldn't it? Yet Jesus described Nathanael as one in whom there was no guile. Hmm. Maybe we could cut the guy who hankers for Green Bay some slack for wanting to live someplace where there may be fewer racial problems than his current location. Our hearts can be changed by Jesus, otherwise our experiences rule. Remember, Springsteen's NJ home town wasn't without "lots of fights 'tween the blacks and whites...there was nothin' you could do" (except maybe escape to Green Bay?).

Personally, I've never been to Nazareth or Green Bay, but I've knocked around NJ some. A Sheraton over around Burlington was the only place I remember that I ever stayed multiple nights and felt the need to take my stuff out of the room and put it in the trunk of the rent car every day. I got to where I'd stay over around Mt Laurel and drive from there. But there are good and bad areas in every state.

One of the prettiest women I ever saw had a lower-echelon job at one of the township tax offices over there. She was giggly and acted out like a kid, but was sure eye candy. The best Italian food I ever ate was in "the Berg" (Chambersburg?)area of Trenton. I tied to work taxes in Jersey City once, but had little luck. I found City Hall by asking a fireman at a fire station. He promptly put a nearby hitchhiker into the car with me to show me the way! The whole place seemed to be suffering from acute infrastructure failure. I entered by a back entrance and was literally afraid of being hit by a falling brick from the old building. The appraiser said he wouldn't shake hands with me because of a skin disorder. They all carried their lunches and knew of no local cafe's. I wound up having a hot dog and orange soda from a street vendor and watching the little diving birds at a waterfront pier-park-of-a-thing where I think a woman whistled at me. Many of the roads were under construction and I was given the high sign by what seemed like 75% of the drivers of other cars who were in a hurry to beat me to the very next exit (this is, of course a universal malady and not restricted to NJ--everybody in that much of a hurry is always getting off at the next exit). I think living like sardines eventually affects one's modesty. Construction workers were coming off the high steel at lunch and entering establishments without even putting their shirts on. People in various stages of undress lounged against cars while wedding parties brushed by without thinking anything about it.

I have had little trouble working with country people, no matter what their accents, and there are some of those in NJ, too. I bought an old bow at a sporting goods store in a rural area north of Burlington. Much of Middlesex County is pretty country. A predecessor in my business retired to the Jersey Coast. Maybe the social stress and lack of communication are more an urban/rural thing than a NJ/points south thing or a Paterson/Passaic Co. thing. For what it's worth, from a communication standpoint, I found NJ cities dismal, but better than Detroit or some other places. But NJ is older and looked it.

Safest place for decent women to be stranded? Probably LeDues Bait House on Ol Lon's bayou. "Ifn they don' mine Cajun music, a few gap- tooth grins an lotsa atten-she-own from actost the room."

Ah, but what do I know?

Wait--don't answer that!

-- J& (Redneck@I'mba.ack), February 19, 2004.

Hey Redneck, glad you're back. I think I'll give LeDues Bait House a miss thanks. Not that I mind a nice gap-toothed grin now and then, I just have an aversion to the smell of bait. Too many hot sunny days on the jetty I expect (warm cockles-yuk).

-- Carol (c@oz.com), February 19, 2004.

Hi, Carol. And muchas gracias to those of you who wondered where we were while our identity crises and computer ineptitude conspired to keep us in the technological hinterland. Some of you make me blush. Fortunately, we know you only mean it in fun and we modestly look away from stream-of-consciousness indescretions. (What you staring off into space and grinning about, Redneck? Snap out of it.)

Redneck intones dreamily that, "bein raised on the prairie, the only cockles I know anythin' about are the cockles of mah hort." What can I say--the man's a wasteland of childish depravity. And he runs around the cabin half naked and smells like bait. But I guess somebody's got to look out for him, lest his ilk pass from the earth and leave us with nobody to frustrate our goody-two-shoes training efforts or of whom to think ourselves their social betters (is that right, grammatically? Doesn't look right. Oh well). Oops, sorry, princesses, for talking like Redneck's the only one. I guess I forgot about all those husbands, boyfriends and teenage family members out there. Silly me.

-- J&R (cockles@mussels.alive), February 19, 2004.

Hey Carol, thanks for reminding me about Ledue's Bait and Gas emporium. Yesterday the aerator burned out on the big tank where they keep the mud minnows, and ever' blessit one of them was in there, floating belly-up. But, that's OK, because today they got an all-you-can-eat special on seafood gumbo. Kit and me are going over there for supper, if the water's gone down from out of the parking lot.

-- Ole Lon, whose bait ain't so fresh anyhow (lgal@exp.net), February 19, 2004.

Hey J. Redneck would fit in nicely with a few of the teenage males we've had around here over the years. Especially on a Sunday morning after a big night out. Phewie.

Lol Lon. A mud minnow meal eh! Sounds um....different.

-- Carol (c@oz.com), February 21, 2004.

I insist Dear Lon partake of this large bag of breath mints.

-- helen (hey@j.whaddya.say?), February 21, 2004.

Hello to Kritter. Your item alluding to the age profile in Ocean County reminded me of a trip I took years ago with a friend to camp on some acreage he'd bought in West Texas. We stopped in Kerrville to provision-up. Ate at a MacDonald's there and even the burger- flippers and wait staff were elderly. At the grocery store, I was jostled and bumped in the aisles by the carts of wizened, focused, four-foot-six yankee women with attitude, apparent centarians all. The cashiers and sackers were octagenarians. We were miles out of town headed west in a sort of stunned and confused silence when we finally just literally shook it off! It was the strangest thing. We felt like we'd just escaped an episode of the the Twilight Zone! I don't doubt that Kerr County, like Ocean County, may have somewhat skewed mortality statistics, though Kerrville has little heavy industry to, um, muddy the water.

Pockets of retirement geography will no doubt proliferate as boomers age. I played golf in Georgetown (North of Austin)a couple of years ago with an old guy who drove his cart from his house. There are large communities around the courses that reportedly only accept residents age 55+ with no kids living at home (kind of like the old singles apartment complexes in reverse). It's probably a good thing that there are communities developing the support services for ageing boomers, though there's a long way to go, particularly in the "betweens" (between self-sufficiency and nursing care, between lucrative work and retirement--many skilled forty-and-ups can only find subsistence jobs after layoffs these days, etc.). However, I think a mix of generations is essential to a healthy environment. Brings to mind a couple of old movies, Logan's Run and Wild in the Streets.

Hiya Helen. How's trix. Er, I mean mule? You might be well advised to mix a few Tums in with the breath mints. (By the way, would one of those little miniature knives work for scaling a mud-minnow? Nah, too much work. LeDue would probably just claim the glitter was intentional,harmless and for effect.) People on the bayou will make gumbo out of most anything. I have another friend from that neck of the woods who swears by his grandmother's goose gumbo (which sounds like inspiration for a Cajun fairy tale). Myself, I always have trouble with the rue. Which makes me wonder, not having a clue, do Carol's crew hew roo into rue? Rue the day I have to do rue for you. I'm not so good at fixing the stuff, but Redneck can eat embarrassing quantities of anybody else's gumbo. TahTah

-- J (jsnider@hal-pc.org), February 23, 2004.