I would just like to publicly thank Sam for her thoughtful present. It was everything a man could ever need! If anyone (except for Sam and Dani) can guess, post here and I'll send the winner the Angel TV theme .wav file! I know! stunning prize. Oh, yeah, if you know Sam well, you'll know it isn't *exactly* normal...

-- Sean (sean.c@fatal.co.uk), October 05, 2000

Answers

Hey come on people! Where are the guesses! It's a novelty item from a chemists. I'll keep giving clues until someone gets it!

-- Sean (sean.c@fatal.co.uk), October 05, 2000.

A beaker?

Well, maybe I'm the only one who finds that slightly dirty...

-- Krys (krysten@geek.com), October 05, 2000.

Krys, anything with Sean could be considered dirty. A beaker? He'll be gigglin' all night!

-- Tim (same Tim, different email address etc...) (timp@another.com), October 05, 2000.

I've got it: women's razor blades!

(I have some more dodgy notions, but I know for a fact that you cannot buy any items of a contraceptive nature in chemist's. Don't ask why I know, but they are definitely completely invisible to the innocent eye, presumably so that young children can't ask, "Mummy, what's this for?")

-- Zed (zed@swansongs.net), October 06, 2000.

Er.. about the contraceptives... I work at the said chemist and they are soooooooo on full view. i had to sell FLORESCENT ones once. Dear lord. And keep the guesses coming. They're all far too normal. You obviously don't know the workings of my mind...

-- Sam (pinkandfluffy@mentalcase.co.uk), October 07, 2000.

Hey! Come on people! If it was from me to Sam, *then* it would be dirty! It has some white things inside....

-- Sean (sean.c@fatal.co.uk), October 07, 2000.

Shaving cream? Toothpaste? Baby powder?

Er.

Q-tips. Cotton. Toilet paper. Moth balls.

-- Rasee (lilwitch@poetic.com), October 07, 2000.

I can't believe you people are actually doing this competition! :: Tim rolls his eyes :: ;)

-- Tim (timp@another.com), October 08, 2000.

Swedish penis enlarger (tm)?

I dunno... It *could* have some white things in it.

-- Krys (krysten@geek.com), October 08, 2000.

Why does the penis enlarger have to be Swedish? Are they not as well- endowed as the rest of the world? *ponders*

-- Rasee (lilwitch@poetic.com), October 08, 2000.

It's just funnier if it's Swedish. Like Canadian Bacon is funnier than just plain old bacon. Canadian has Bacon. Swedish has fish and penis enlargers.

-- Krys (krysten@geek.com), October 08, 2000.

Hello again! Why are we talking about penis enlargers and why would Sam get me one? Does she know something I don't.... Oh yeah, before you have to be 18 to view the messageboard (or 21 in the US, damn porn laws....), here's my clue....

xxxxx x x x=====x x x xxxxx

can you tell me what it is yet....

p.s TIM! UPDATE YOUR DIARY!

-- Sean (sean.c@fatal.co.uk), October 08, 2000.

A band-aid!

Some type of band-aid... But it does have white stuff in the middle, it comes from a chemist, and it looks like that little diagrammy thing.

But to make it novelty and dirty. I don't know.

-- Krys (krysten@geek.com), October 08, 2000.

erm... maybe the clue didn't work properly. Come on people!!!!!!!! It contains round things. and if you don't get it right, I will cry!

-- Sean (sean.c@fatal.co.uk), October 09, 2000.

Aspirin?

-- Rasee (lilwitch@poetic.com), October 09, 2000.

Almost... But it has the white things I-n-s-i-d-e it. Come on! Who wants this valuable prize? Can you feel the Angel power?

-- Sean (sean.c@fatal.co.uk), October 09, 2000.

TAMPONS!

-- Krys (krysten@geek.com), October 09, 2000.

Ugh ugh ugh...I'm starting to check this board multiple times which is a bad BAD sign, damn it. Someone guess it already.

White things INSIDE it? Birth control pills? Um...close to aspirin, hmm? *thinks* Some time of capsule? Vitamins? A BOTTLE of aspirin? A lil plastic tube of aspirin?

Ugh.

-- Ras (lilwitch@poetic.com), October 09, 2000.

A box of aspirin

-- Ben Weaver (sockouk@yahoo.com), October 09, 2000.

What do aspirins come in, which isn't a bottle or tube????

-- Sean (sean.c@fatal.co.uk), October 09, 2000.

Those little plastic and foil capsule holder thingies... that made a lot of sense.

-- Helen (breathe@oceanic.nu), October 09, 2000.

WE HAVE A WINNER!!!!!!! Ben Weaver guessed correctly! a hauge novelty aspirin box! He will win the fabulous prize of both the Angel and Buffy theme tunes in .wav format. CONGRATULATIONS BEN!

I think a special mention must also go to Rasee, who tried sooooo hard. She will win just the Angel theme.

Also, every person who gave a rude, or even vaguely infantile (look it up) or sexual will win a certificate proving they were rude on Sean's competition!

Well done guys! Look for another comp in a couple of weeks. Thanks for hosting this Tim!

-- Sean (sean.c@fatal.co.uk), October 09, 2000.

Here is the ROLL OF HONOUR:

Winner : Ben Weaver (sockouk@yahoo.com)

2nd: Rasee (lilwitch@poetic.com)

Rude runners up: zed (zed@swansongs.net) krys (krysten@geek.com)

The not being rude or winning award: Helen (breathe@oceanic.nu)

-- Sean (sean.c@fatal.co.uk), October 09, 2000.

Hey! Where's my thanks! i gave the said present! Hmph. I'm gonna sulk now until I get some recgonition

-- Sam (pinkandfluffy@mentalcase.co.uk), October 09, 2000.

And what about me?! This is my message board!

-- Tim (tim@almighty.co.uk), October 09, 2000.

Tim gets the 'He was good at keeping his sworn secrecy and letting us use his board even though he didn't seem too thrilled with our competition' award. You can put it next to the 'Most Pretentious Journaller' award you awarded yourself (if you remember that...)

-- Krys (krysten@geek.com), October 09, 2000.

I didn't even know aspirin came in a boxes. This is the joy of living in Bangkok. Heck, we don't even say "chemist" here.

*accepts second place gratefully*

*curtsey*

*waves all beauty queen-like*

-- Rasee (lilwitch@poetic.com), October 09, 2000.

a box of aspirin

-- tom (saccadood@aol.com), October 12, 2000.

Aw man, keep up!

-- Tim (tim@almighty.co.uk), October 12, 2000.

What is this crap!!!!!!!!!!!! It was a majestic pony!

-- Jacko (flufffyjack@hotmail.com), October 16, 2000.

Feel the wrath of Sergeant Feces Processor!

-- Brian Duda (brian.duda@verizon.net), December 10, 2002.

We are now sitting here Me and a big LIFE SIZE MUFF and two giant dildo's maybe all i need for christmas is a giant LIFE SIZE ASS

-- Sean Murphy (Echoslide42@yahoo.com), December 14, 2002.

Who Cares

-- Jimbob Mcgae (jim.net@virgin.net), May 15, 2003.

This is not just some penis. It is a root of lust! MUAHAHAHAHAH!

-- Dudanation (brian.duda@verizon.net), August 31, 2003.