Hay foks! Caleb heer! Ole Mables ar out'n tha barn rekon. That thar womans' fixin ta have nuthr rat'n snak killin. She'rns bin shutin her'n old muzzleloader whut I's found in a tree hollr cuple yars go. Hit waar rappd ina oilcloth and waar hid frum revenurs rekon. I's a choppin down that thar tree and tha ax hit sumthang steel. Well, hit waar that thar gun an hit waar prac neu. I's unrappd hit an cleened tha tube an bore and hit farred tha first time. Ole Mables waar runnin round laffin an holl'n an sain hit waar her'ns. I givs hit to'r and that thar womans haint seesed farrin since. We's haint got no walnuts hangin on ourn walnut trees atoll. She'rns dun an shot'm all off. She'rn heps me dig sang fer cash to by her'n blakpowder wiff. Don't ritley no jest how much that thar womans shuts up inna yar--she'rn won't tells me! Sez hit be ok longs tha sang roots holds out. Don't have no snak problum no more heer at tha cabin no more, ya no. She'rn dun an shot all uv'm. Tham thar ole slimy serpents waar ettin our'n chik eggs, they waar. We duz hav a larm sistem now. A old mommy skreech owl had a cuple litle wuns in tha big redoak by frunt door to barn. Well wone fel out on his'n litle haid and broke his'n nek. Old Mables didn't want thatta hapen tothr wone so's she'rn clumb that thar big tree with her'n brogans on an gots tothr wone. Hit's her'n pet now. I thanks he no's her'n cuz whins she'rn cums outta tha cabin an hollers "Skreechy" that lil feller hollers bak. Well, time fer ole Caleb ta quit--hits most a 7pm and way past m'bedtime. Y'all bees gud ta you'rn nabors, wifey an pets. Skreechy'll precate hit, ya no. Whilst you'rn at hit luks up an reed Matt. 24:44. Caleb sinin off.

-- caleb (woodboilers@iwon.com), October 25, 2000