We've all discussed frugal ways of making holiday gifts and such and how we decorate, but how about how you resist or handle the HOLIDAY HYPE?????????? I do pretty good as I was born frugal, we make a lot of ours and set a budget on how much we'll spend, we've scaled WAY down over the years on all areas of Christmas and getting to carried away, but I have to admit even frugal me gets caught up in the hype sometimes, things for the kids are my weak point. Some strategy's I've used in the past is to shop early before all the hype starts, stay out of the stores as much as possible, keep reminding myself before I ever go in a store that it's all HYPE resist, resist. LOL It shouldn't be to hard for me this year since we don't have a lot of money, that always helps I guess and we don't use the fantastic plastic. Believe me we don't buy or do NEAR what some of our family does, and I doubt a lot of you do from reading some of the previous post on gift making and decorating. I thought this would be a good topic for some of those who may have trouble with this, it is all hype from the marketers to get us to buy more, more more! I'm thinkin of taping a note to my sunvisor reminding me "IT'S ALL JUST HYPE"

-- Carol in Tx (cwaldrop@peoplescom.net), November 11, 2000

Answers

I cancelled the satelite, use online news sources (no newspapers with all the advertising) and NO WANDERING thru stores. I am making the gifts so I shop at different types of stores and I enter with a strict shopping list and refuse to look at those end of aisle displays. Christmas is not about going broke. I hope all this works. In the past I have had great big guilt trips over Christmas and I now refuse to buy into that mindset.

Here is a handy helper I just came up with. I am making wood starter gift baskets for some friends. I fill paper nut cups with pine shavings (have alot of shavings for the hens), then I fill the cups with scented and colored melted wax. These are great fire staters. Just hold a lighted match to the paper cup and off it goes. I no longer need to use any other paper to start the fire. Because it burns for quite a long time, it will really get the wood burning. They also look and smell nice. I place some of these in the baskets and then add kindling and bundles of dried herbs. All of these is pillowed on shredded paper form the shredder. (I use fresh unused paper and shred it.) Instead of a basket I'm using small buckets from the feed store and then tying a large cloth bow made from a torn strip of homespun fabric. It not only looks nice but it doesn't need to be dusted, protected, it is soon gone and everyone can use an extra bucket. Not to mention that it warms the heart and body. With this type of gift, I can stay out of department stores. Hurray!

-- Cheryl (bramblecottage@hotmail.com), November 11, 2000.

I set aside the cash for each person's gifts in a separate envelope. When the envelope is empty, I'm through shopping for that person. When all the envelopes are empty, I'm through...period. I don't go back anywhere except the dollar store and grocery store to get what we need for regular household needs.

-- Green (ratdogs10@yahoo.com), November 11, 2000.

No gifts unless they are homemade from the heart.Don't want them and don't give them. Nice homemade Xmas dinner at home.Not excessive. No traveling back home.Made solemn vow and have kept it, to keep things simple and closer to the true spirit of the season. I do decorate, though bc I love to make Xmas ornaments out of natural materials.

Extended Family members don't understand this at all.That's their perogative, as long as they don't criticize us for our choice.But they do.

-- sharon wt (wildflower@ekyol.com), November 11, 2000.

Every year, we make gifts for the sisters-in-law and brothers, and every year, one particular s.i.l. gives her husband a sideways glance when she or he opens our gifts--one that says "Oh, another homemade thing". Mind you, we try to make them something nice, gifts have been quilt racks, saddle stands, magazine holders made from horseshoes, etc., but they always try to outspend everyone and give some lavish gift to each of us. Used to really bother me, and I felt we HAD to do what they did, but I now can feel good about what we do, whether it meets their standards or not. If they don't like it, so be it. The gifts were made with love, and given that way, and are all we can do. Just can't let the rest of the families bother you. Christmas isn't about being in debt for the rest of the year, after all. Jan

-- Jan in Colorado (Janice12@aol.com), November 11, 2000.

I think we need to remember that it is we who have received the greatest gift and that is we are celebrating the birth of the Son of God. We have grouped many tradiations to this holiday and I sometimes feel that we have really forgotten what we have the holiday for. The gift that counts is our sins can be forgiven because God gave us His only begotten Son that whosoever believes in Him has eternal life not the trendiest gift by way of the media hype of the year. gail

-- gail missouri ozarks (gef123@hotmail.com), November 11, 2000.

I've already had Christmas with my daughters and grandchildren. We met in Indpls. went on a hayride, out to eat and to our favorite apple orchard. The apple orchard part started a tradition last year. One daughter couldn't make it, so if she comes to visit me we'll do something then. This also took care of birthdays, except a card with maybe a couple of $ in it. If I want to, I'll bake stuff and send it to them before Christmas. There's just too much stress remembering and trying to find extra money. With my husband's family, we'll have a big dinner here and play games. We quite doing gifts last year. Gifts that don't come from the heart are more of a burden.

Actually I do more for my friends, gift baskets are my favorite thing to do. Filled with home canned/made stuff and little surprizes. Theme baskets are nice. All the stuff you need to bake cookies or corn bread. Pop corn and butter, etc. Use your imagination. Don't forget some fruit. My elderly friend really likes to receive a dinner. A frozen chicken breast, green beans, potatoes, etc. Again, use your imagination. Don't try to outdo anyone else or yourself. Relax and enjoy.

-- Cindy (atilrthehony_1@yahoo.com), November 11, 2000.

I haven't observed Christmas for over ten years, but somehow I still felt obligated to send people gifts. We celebrate Channukah now, which as I understand it was not really a big gift giving holiday until it had to compete with the American style Christmas celebrations. Anyway, I'm tired of spending more than a month of every winter feeling guilty because I can't afford to send gifts to everybody, and lets be honest, a lot of the stuff we receive may have had good intentions, but it usually isn't something we use,need or want. Then I feel guilty again when I finally send some of it to the thrift store! So this year, we're going to make or buy some cards, and just send those.

-- Rebekah (daniel1@itss.net), November 11, 2000.

Jan

We can adopt each other!!! I'd be thrilled to death to receive something like you made.But,I know what you mean, in my case it's a sister that acts surperior. Maybe learn to ignore them and keep feeling good for the lovely thoughts in your own head & heart.

And, now repeat that back to me, so I can keep & hold it in my own mind!!

-- sharon wt (wildflower@ekyol.com), November 11, 2000.

We make all the gifts too, Jan. Usually with the adults, they like them, but their kids, that's hard. I really don't like the way my husbands family does Christmas at all. From youngest to oldest, one at a time, each one has to open all their presents while everyone else watches and takes pictures. This takes hours. WAY to many presents for the kids, and it is like a competion or something. And the kids scream and act awfull. The most expensive toys win.

We have always had a quite, meaningfull Christmas morning. We opened ours at the same time, just a few gifts. No set order. And we read the Bible. Christmas should be a time of thanksgiving too.

-- Cindy in Ky (solidrockranch@msn.com), November 11, 2000.

hey ladies!! I have a question.....for the family members that disparge your lovely homemade gifts;why are these homemade goodies such hot items--and costly, at that--at craft fairs??? Just a thought. I'm making alot of my gifts too; for all kids I'm putting together memory books (having 4 babies in 5 years...baby books were out of the Q!) ansd also for that hard-to-buy-for-teen who doesn't care for any clothes I pick out for her...I'm getting her a gift cert. from her favourite clothing store. Not only will she get what she really likes (and will wear,) but the after-holiday sales will double her buying power!!! smile

-- Beth Weber (talmidim88@hotmail.com), November 11, 2000.

gail in the Ozarks--Well said! I agree with you 100%

-- ruth in illinois (bobtravous@email.com), November 11, 2000.

I love Christmas and always go over board! But this year, I have talked my husbands family into this: we take an envelope-put money in it (what ever you can afford)-seal the envelope, place it in a box (decorated like a package, with a slot in it) at my Mom-in-law's house, the first week in Dec. she will take it to a family that needs money for FOOD. No one knows what the other has put in their envelope! No one feels better/worse than another! It is given from the heart and I hope it will teach our young family members what giving is all about!May God bless you all!

-- Debbie T in N.C. (rdtyner@mindspring.com), November 11, 2000.

I am sorry, I forgot to say that, this will replace our gift giving and drawing of names! Thanks Debbie

-- Debbie T in N.C. (rdtyner@mindspring.com), November 11, 2000.

I hate Christmas time. My mom made me buy the family gifts one year then got mad when everyone complained about what they got. (I was only 17 at the time and couldn't get what everyone wanted) She shoved money in my hand with an angry frown and gruff "Merry Christmas". No package to open. No card. As a matter of fact, my brother and sisters didn't give me anything but a blank look when I handed them my gifts. I hated Christmas ever since. I feel it's too hyped too. They had the displays out before Halloween this year, for goodness sake! I buy gifts waaaayyy before December and hope everyone likes what they get.

-- Dee in NJ (gdgtur@goes.com), November 11, 2000.

My family has been downsizing (unintentionally) for a while, but it became obvious that the commerical Christmas thing was taking it's toll anyway. We went from giving gifts to everyone to drawing one person's name for the following year and even that was a big problem because there was very little that anyone really NEEDED. Eventually our family phased out Christmas gifts altogether. I really hate plastic Christmas anyway and the frenetic crowds so it's no great deal to keep away from the shopping centers and desperate people.

I do still exchange Yule gifts with some of my friends, but they tend to be small things -- a $20 gift would be large, and more likely they are handmade items (since a lot of them are artists anyway).

Instead, I usually end up donating money to a couple of charities that feed the some of the poorer reservations out in the high deserts, and last year, decided to go the whole way and in thankfulness that Y2K wasn't a big deal, bought a wood stove for a family -- it made me feel better than a ton of presents, so I guess you could say it was also a present to myself.

-- Julie Froelich (firefly1@nnex.net), November 12, 2000.

Hm, this one wouldn't leave my head overnight. After reading the 'I love/I hate' comments, I realized that I have both myself. Then another thought came to me....perhaps pre-holiday readings of 'Gift of the Magi' (by O. Henry, I believe) should be mandatory -- you know, the one in which the wife cuts off her hair and sells it to buy her husband a lavish watch fob for his prized pocketwatch, only to discover that her husband sold his watch to buy her tortiseshell combs for her long hair.

-- Julie Froelich (firefly1@nnex.net), November 12, 2000.

Cindy in Ky.Did we go to the same family gatherings? We must have for that's just the way it was at my family's Xmas.Excess food too.I don't mean plenty of food, I mean way way too much.Go out to eat a big buffet, the come back to a table laden with food. And a totally Bit..y sister who had to yell at her other half to make it all while she obsessively cleaned & decorated. We all would bring a dish, but that was just not ENOUGH.It was not a pretty sight.

It didn't start out that way, and it certainly wasn't like that when we were growing up. But that's what it turned into.A very competetive bunch.Good people still, but way over competative. I do not go home for Christmas anymore , and that is one of the top reasons. It goes so against my own beliefs and lifestyle.It actually makes me uncomfortable,esp. the year I had to watch same sister & her other half slap it out at Thanksgiving table,bs she was in a mood.I don't go home for Thanksgiving anymore, either. I love my family, but even still, there are some things I just can't stomach.

Liked the posting on envelopes of whatever given to someone in need

-- sharon wt (wildflower@ekyol.com), November 12, 2000.

Debbie T, I love what ya'll do, that is so special. we don't exhange gifts with extended family anymore, just our own kids, parents and Grandkids and each other when we can afford it. Some of you have come up with really good ideas!

-- Carol in Tx (cwaldrop@peoplescom.net), November 12, 2000.

Our extended family came up with a little diffrent twist to gift giving. Each family brings a set number of inexpensive items, about $1 each the items a wrapped so no one knows what they are. We play bingo and the winner picks an item from the table. Once the gifts are gone we play for a set time limit. during this time you can take from others piles, and everyone always keeps the first prize they got. This may not sound like it keeps with the spirit of Christmas, but it gets everyone talking and having fun. There are a couple of gifts that come back every year and its a family joke who will get the banana hanger or the year we all ended up with about 10 ice scrapers each.

With my kids I look all summer at garage sales for books and toys that are in good condition and they get them for Christmas. They each ask Santa for 1 item that they really want,( gameboy and nintendo are not even allowed!) I so far they havent asked for anything that was too out of line and we have bought that one item for them. I dont know if they are even aware that their gifts arent brand new, last year my 8 year old son thought he must have been really good because he thought he made out pretty well. I also usually try to get them games. AS a family we love to play games and will do that after supper a couple times a week. I have had good luck getting those used by looking for an instruction sheet which usually calls out all the pieces to check if its complete. So after the gifts are open we can have some family time and play a round of monopoly or scrabble.

I love Christmas and cant wait each year until first snow so I can start playing Christmas Carols and start working on my homemade gifts!

Tami in WI

-- tami in wi (windridg@chorus.net), November 13, 2000.

Sharon, year before last year we had to wait till the day after Christmas for the "Family Christmas". Steve's mom HAD to go shopping for the sales Dec. 26th. We waited and waited for hours that afternoon, and finially they got there with about 20 large bags of toys for the kids. Right out of the store bags. And each kid had like 10 things, and they had to open them from smallest bag to largest bag. And these kids are allready overrun with new toys, you can't get in their rooms for ALL the toys. I left feeling like this was not what Christmas is all about at all. I really wish with all my heart it wasn't like that. We have to go, it's his family. Why are they teaching the kids this?

-- Cindy in Ky (solidrockranch@msn.com), November 13, 2000.

I used to hate going to my husband's parents place for holidays. It would take at least four hours to open all the presents, and by the time we were done, the children would be tired, crabby, and trying hard to still show some enthusiasm for the overload of presents. Christmas really ought to be a remembrance of the birth of Christ, not a "gimme, gimme" thing -- to me, the best way to spend Christmas is to go to church in the morning (though our church only has Christmas morning service when Christmas happens to fall on Sunday), then have a family dinner and open one or two presents per person. In our family, those presents are either 1. homemade, 2. second-hand (antiques, used books, etc.), or 3. a tool or something that someone really needs but couldn't afford to purchase themselves. I don't do "Christmas shopping" as such at all, but whenever I happen to see something special for someone throughout the year, I'll get it and save it in my special stash! Right now, I need to be thinking about what to get my husband, as I don't think I have anything in my stash for him yet, but it will probably be a book or something useful -- and it won't cost more than fifty dollars (justifiable for something useful), and he will probably only get the one item. (From me, at least!)

-- Kathleen Sanderson (stonycft@worldpath.net), November 13, 2000.

By the way, if you have children -- and find that relatives are making a holiday an unpleasant experience -- I would recommend staying home and making your own pleasant time together. It may be hard for your family to accept, but it will be much better for your children, and for you. And you need to put your own children's well- being ahead of your in-laws or even your own parents/siblings.

-- Kathleen Sanderson (stonycft@worldpath.net), November 13, 2000.

For some reason, some people think giving children gobs, and gobs of gifts and candy is a way to show LOVE, go figure, we have this problem with the grandaughter we have custody of, her Mother and the maternal side of the family think this, over guilt or what I don't know but it's ridiculous, I had to clean her toy box out every month or so just to keep the clutter down, finally dh told them no more keep it at there house, don't send anymore home with her unless it's clothes, it was mostly junk anyway!

I told my family and dh's during my first marriage once we had children we would NOT be at there house Christmas morning, my children would be staying home in their own beds, with their own tree, waking up in their own house, my first dh's parents expected the Grandkids to get there Santa presents in front of them Christmas Eve, just so they could see them open them, I put my foot down on that to, if you do it from the start I think it goes better. I've seen people traveling with tons of bikes, hobby horses etc. tied down on top of the vehicle. NOT ME and we've never regretted it. You have to start your own traditions. Dont' get me wrong we do get together with other family but not on Christmas Eve or Christmas morning, I feel thats a very special time for you kids and family, now they're welcome to come to our home anytime and my parents have been there bright and early the 25th once or twice. over ohh 17 yrs.

-- Carol in Tx (cwaldrop@peoplescom.net), November 13, 2000.

sigh..I try and I try to be frugal and avoid the hype. To focus on the true meaning of christmas etc. Yet here we were on the first sunny day in 3 weeks christmas shopping at the mall buying more plastic toys for our boys and eyeballing jewellery for me. As we strolled the mall I told my husband to not buy me those earrings. It just didn't "feel" right. I have been sorting the toy box and donating unplayed with stuff to a family support center for their use in outreach programs like playgroups etc. As for family gifts. Every year I wear myself out making gifts for each sibling and their families. Now their kids are pairing up and making families..now my list of family and friends is so daunting that I don't want Christmas to ever arrive! Its a struggle between what I want to do and what I CAN do. I am only one procratinating stay at home country mom... and I am not very fond of baking. My ideal Christmas? Christmas church service, decorating the tree with loved ones, singing carols together, playing in the snow, and enjoying the smiles on peoples faces as they recieve gifts that they truly like and appreciate. No over eating and over indugence and thus no gut wrenching worry, guilt and gastroenteritis...LOL

-- Alison in Nova Scotia (aproteau@istar.ca), November 16, 2000.

We simply don't DO Christmas at all. Nor other holidays as they are all just commercial nonsense. No shopping whatsoever. Just time with family. We did it "cold turkey" years ago. Of course some got upset but time heals all wounds and life goes on. Some ask a lot of questions so they must be interested. Many say they want to do it also but don't have the courage to start. DO IT! Start NOW! Who are you afraid of? It saves a lot of stress.

-- Sandy (smd2@netzero.net), November 16, 2000.

What do the Amish do on/for Christmas?

-- Sandy (smd2@netzero.net), November 16, 2000.