Methinks it's time to announce my availability for the office of Prz of this country. I'm runnin on the hillbilly tiket and will accept donations of whatever you can send. I would prefer fresh meat but canned would be just fine. Firewood would also be nice as I could give it to those old folks that can't cut their own or buy it anymore. I think the first thing to do after I'm elected is to passa law eliminating ALL taxes on the workin poor and lettin the rich dudes pay all the bills for awhile--while we re-coup nuff to buy some steaks and "shelv" the bolony. Boloney is made from floor sweepins in the slaughterhouse anyhow, ya no. Well anyhow, I also think that gasoline should be 10 cents a gallon and everybody go back to drivin Model A Fords and maybe a few old 4 cylinder Chevys--as in the 1934. TV stations orta be turned off if'n they keep showin all this depressin news. Bring back Andy Griffith, Hee Haw, Beverly Hillbillys and Dragnet! No need to bring bak Mash as it's still shown on tv 10-wthi, in terre haute, IN. Personally, I'm sick and tard a wachin hawki and whats'r name, tha nurse. We will also bring back "fibber Mcgee and molly whilst wer'e at't. WSM WILL be broadcast via radio and tv EVERY Sat nite until 12 midnite. All streets and sidewalks will be rolled up at 9 pm weekdays and 11 pm on weekends. Drugs? Whats' that? Only aspirin will be permitted unless a bonofide horse doctor sez ya needs tother stuff. This "tother stuff" would have to be cheep nuff for everybody to afford it. These new tenny runners would be outlawed and replaced with LEATHER American made shoes. As Henry Ford said about the T model-you can have it any color as long as it's "BLACK"! Same with shoes. The turkey will be the countrys' bird, flowerin crabapple -the tree, "sang" would be grown in everybodys garden, long with maters, taters, green beens, corn and onions. No more "store bot" fish as all cricks would be required to stock'm with catfish, sunfish and carp! No more imported stuff from other countrys either. All airplanes would be grounded, all trains would be replaced with steam trains, all heating appliances would be required to be fired by wood or coal. Crosscut and buck saws would replace chainsaws. Buzz saws would replace axes. No more purebred dogs, sheep, hogs, cows, goats---well anything--no purebreds! Only open pollenated crops permitted. Open season on all lawyers, bankers, judges, politicans and crooks. Sorry, already said that! Well, I think this about covers my agenda. If'n ya wants ta sport me send me a message by HAM RADIO as all phone service, internet [al gore invented it, ya no]and airmail will be done away with. On second thought, rekon I'll jest keep bee'n an old hillbilly frum Illinois. Nuthin spekted frum me an thats gud. Hit taxes m'brane if'n I thanks too much. Thank God--we don't have to go back to those "good old days"! Matt. 24:44

-- hoot (hoot@pcinetwork.com), November 16, 2000

Answers

LOL!!! Actually, Hoot, it sounds pretty good to me!! Can we write you in next time around?!?

-- Kathleen Sanderson (stonycft@worldpath.net), November 17, 2000.

Hoot - You have our votes. I am old enough to remember the goooood old days. Its nice to know someone out there still thinks like us'n good folks. Take care.

-- Gerald S. Rozanski (Grozanski56@cs.com), November 17, 2000.

Hoot, I saw Dragnet on one of PBS stations a couple of times recently, and Jack Benny's on Saturday night on channal 30 from Bloomington, In. Don't know if you can get that station. Andy's on several stations and if the Hillbillies or Green Acres are on, I hope I don't find them, but my husband would like to. Hee Haw would be great. Red Skelton was my favorite.

-- Cindy (atilrthehony_1@yahoo.com), November 17, 2000.

Hoot--Sounds great, iff'n your politikin' don't intefere with Thanksgivin' dinner plans, that is!!!

-- (trigger@mcn.net), November 17, 2000.

Don't ask me to vote no more! They got one of mine in the machine that ain't been used yet. Wonder what the shelf life of a vote is? If you like Andy Griffith, you would love our CBS station, not one but three episodes Mon - Fri around our evening news. Sure makes it easier to stomach all that bad stuff, with a dose of Mayberry, knowing another dose is just an hour away.

-- Jay Blair in N. AL (jayblair678@yahoo.com), November 17, 2000.

Hoot, you got my vote! Shoot, you'd be the only REAL MAN running! I hate to see these guys ( clinton , gore bush, ) walking into church knowing what they really do. Thinking all the time they're getting away with it.

-- sherry s. IN. (Calfarm@msn.com), November 17, 2000.

shucks hoot if'n we all woulda known tree weeks ago, the country would'nt be in this here fix it's in taday!!!!!!!!!anahey there aunt bee.

-- fred in wi (sixuvusmeyers@aol.com), November 21, 2000.

Bring back "The Waltons" as well and I'll figure out a way to vote for you.

-- Don Armstrong (darmst@yahoo.com.au), November 23, 2000.

Hey Don! Good to see you back! Hope things are goin fine for you. Hows tha weather "down under"? Callin fer snow/rain here tomorry-- with high winds! I don't like wind and ole Jeep and I have gotta be out in it--settin a boiler! Keep us posted Don and let us know how you're doin. hoot. Matt. 24:44

-- hoot (hoot@pcinetwork.com), November 29, 2000.