This is directed towards all the "new" posters of late.

When you post a new thread, would you PLEASE click the little circle preceeding the word "No" in the line, "Notify Me of Responses (via email)"?

I can't be the only one with a mailbox full of "undeliverables".

Thank you.

And now, back to our regularly-scheduled discourse.

-- Patricia (PatriciaS@lasvegas.com), November 21, 2000

Answers

Yeah,

And also, please remember to put "OT" in front of any post that does NOT relate to "Y2K" or related topics.

Thanks,

Frank

-- Someone (ChimingIn@twocents.cam), November 21, 2000.

And also,

Please USE your correct email address and correct name, we do NOT like annonymous handles round here right COMMUNITY?

-- (shh@I'm.notconsumer), November 21, 2000.

Yeah yeah, what they said.

-- (aol@consumer.shh), November 21, 2000.

OK, OK, wise guys. I can take a hint.

Sometimes ;-)

-- Patricia (PatriciaS@lasvegas.com), November 21, 2000.

Patricia,

Just to be clear, I was enjoying myself this a.m., and not trying to be malicious or anything.

Post away Jeeves,

Frank

-- Someone (ChimingIn@twocents.cam), November 21, 2000.

Same here, Frank ;-)

(This is one of those days I just need to laugh. Maybe I'll start a joke thread.........)

-- Patricia (PatriciaS@lasvegas.com), November 21, 2000.

Whadda mean.."start a joke thread"...ain't ya be reading Ain'ts threads?

-- (pegmcleod@mediaone.net), November 21, 2000.

Pat: You GOTTA luv us? :-)

Frank: just my 3 cents worth.

Peg: your priceless.

-- sumer (annymouse@aol.shh), November 21, 2000.

This is for y'all, but dedicated to Patricia, 'cause she really needs a laugh today. Well, hope this works, Patricia...

Election-eve concession and retraction phone calls from Al Gore to George W. Bush

OFFICIAL TRANSCRIPTS

Phone Conversation #1:

Governor George W. Bush

Vice President Al Gore

November 8, 2000

2:35 AM EST

George: George W. Bush, next president of the United States, who's this?

Al: Uh, it's, uh, Al Gore here, George. I guess you know why I'm calling.

George: Well probably 'cuz you're a loser, right loser?

Al: Well now hold on just a second there, George, I think we could be civil about this. Now, for whatever ungodly reason, the American people have apparently chosen someone of an inferior intellect...

George: Who you callin' infurios?

Al: Unbelievable. You really do butcher the language.

George: Get to the point, guy who isn't President.

Al: Well, uh, how do I say this? I'm calling to officially conce. To conceeceeeceeeceee....

George: Come on say it, say it! Spit it out Mr. Smarty pants interlectoral.

Al: Okay, just gimme a second here, alright I mean I really wanted to win this thing...Damn Ralph Nader to hell!!!

George: (OFF PHONE) Daddy. Tennessee boy's gonna cry! Just like you said.

Daddy Bush: Knew he would. I told ya, he's weak. Weak! Hey Dubya, did I tell ya the time...

George: (OFF PHONE) Quiet down daddy, this is my moment to shine. (to PHONE) Go ahead, nature boy. I wanna hear ya cry uncle!

Al: Alright, I CONCEDE -- okay? There, I said it! Are ya happy, ya half wit Texas kook?? (OFF PHONE) Tipper pack our bags. We're moving to the rainforest.

George: Go ahead, we're gonna cut it down and drill for oil! How do you like that?

Al: You bastard! This isn't over!!!! Not by a long shot.

George: Sure it is! Bye bye, loser! Time for a drink everybody! Woohoo! Mas Taquila! Jeb, pour me a shot. Bushes are back in office! Wooh.. where's the beer?

Phone Conversation #2:

Governor George W. Bush

Vice President Al Gore

November 8, 2000

approx. 3:00 AM EST

George: President George W. Bush speakin'! Whooo, that sounds good don't it?!?

Al: Well not as good as President Albert Gore!

George: What? Is this you again loser?

Al: Uh yeah, about that whole losing thing….Um, I'm gonna have to go ahead and retract my concession.

George: Retract? (OFF PHONE) Daddy, What's retract mean?

Al: Let me help you on that one, Dubya. What it means is that the fat lady hasn't sung yet.

George: Fat lady? Who the hell's the fat lady? (OFF PHONE) Daddy, who's the fat lady? Whaddya talkin' about, Gore?? (OFF PHONE) Hey, shut up back there! Everybody quiet down!!! (GUNSHOTS)

Daddy Bush: Put the gun down, junior! Ya had one too many!!!

Al: Uh, do you have a permit for that gun?

George: You can't take it back, crackerhead!!! You're an Indian giver! Daddy, do somethin', you said I could be President. Ya promised me!

Al: Well, it sounds like you've got your hands full. I've got some ballots to count, so I'll give ya a buzz next week from the Whitehouse, okay Dubya?

George: NOOOOOO!!! (GUNSHOTS)

Daddy Bush: Jeb's down! Jeb's down!

-- eve (eve_rebekah@yahoo.com), November 21, 2000.

Al: Well, it sounds like you've got your hands full. I've got some ballots to count, so I'll give ya a buzz next week from the Whitehouse, okay Dubya?

^^^^ My man Al......he's gonna give us a 'buzz'

Yesssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Passes Eve the ripple and the bong.

-- (shh@aol.com), November 21, 2000.

eve, the tears are streaming down my face from laughing so hard (and I had to "shoo away" a crowd of co-workers who wanted to know what was so funny; now I have to email it to them).

Thanks......I really needed that :-)

-- Patricia (PatriciaS@lasvegas.com), November 21, 2000.

Kewl, Patricia. Always happy to help a friend in need. 'Specially if it brings tears -- only the GOOD kind, of course. :)

'Sumer, thanks for adding the last sentence. Guess my website source cut it off. Unless you wrote it. In that case, good finish! Ya know, I thought somethin' was missing.

Well, I'd better get back to my Thanksgiving plans.

You know, I think the guy answering the Butterball Turkey hotline has some problems. Like, he started out by asking me what I was wearing. Then he wanted me to look inside the turkey for a contact lens he lost at the processing plant. Then later, when I asked "How often should I baste it?" he said, "Uh...are we still talking about the turkey?"

Well, forget that. I think I'm just gonna wing it this time. Hey, wait a minute! I said, "wing it"!! Get it? Wing -- bird -- turkey?? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH....hahahahohoho...aha, ha..heh, heh...ha. (nothing but stunned silence from the bunch) Ahem.

Or...maybe I'll just skip the bird, take a long, strategic "drive" back home tonight, and we'll all just play that ol' family game, "Guess What Animal the 'Turkey' Was Before Mom Ran It Over With the Car"

(Eve takes the bong 'n' Ripple from 'sumer, does her "duty," then passes 'em to Pat)

-- eve (eve_rebekah@yahoo.com), November 21, 2000.

(One of these days I'm going to switch to "waterproof" mascara; I just can't stop laughing now.)

You know, I can understand why there would be (might be?) a need for a Butterball Turkey Hotline.

But can anyone please explain to me why there would be (might be?) a need for a Cool Whip Hotline? (It exists.) And what exactly might the questions be?

(On second thought, I really don't want to go there.)

Are these the same people who need the directions on a bottle of shampoo?

-- Patricia (PatriciaS@lasvegas.com), November 21, 2000.