Bush Threatens Tantrum if Florida Recount Isn’t Endedgreenspun.com : LUSENET : Poole's Roost II : One Thread |
Okay, consider yourself warned. Don't drink coffee while reading.Bush Threatens Tantrum if Florida Recount Isn’t Ended
He’ll hold his breath until his face changes color, warns Texas governor
NEWSWEEK WEB EXCLUSIVE
November 15 — In his most strongly worded statement to date, Texas Gov. George W. Bush told reporters today that if the Florida recount does not end immediately—and if he is not, at that time, named president—he will throw a really big tantrum.
“JEB TOLD ME I WON, and Dad told me I won,” Bush whined to press representatives covering his campaign.
“That means I won, doggone it, and I’m gonna be really, really ticked off if anyone tells me I didn’t.”
.
When asked what form Gov. Bush’s angry response might take, sources close to the Bush camp indicated that his tantrum would most likely include hollering, holding his breath until his face turned blue, and falling down on the ground, kicking and screaming like a 2-year-old at the mall.
“I swear, if they keep counting those votes, they’re gonna be really, really sorry,” Bush shouted, stamping his foot.
The Texas governor, whose face has been increasingly covered with mysterious Band-Aids in recent days, said that if he is not sworn in as president on Jan. 20, he intends to retaliate by sneaking up behind Vice President Gore and biting his ankles.
Constitutional scholars were divided as to whether or not temper tantrums, whining and ankle-biting were the sort of remedies the framers of the Constitution envisioned for close elections like the one currently being contested. But for his part, Gov. Bush told reporters that he believed “a major-league hissy fit” was appropriate.
“Go ahead and call me a crybaby,” he said. “I am rubber, you are glue—what you say bounces off me and sticks to you.”
Bush aides quickly ushered the Texas governor away from reporters, saying only that it was time for his nap.
Borowitz is the author of “The Trillionaire Next Door.” He is a regular contributor of humor to both The New Yorker and New York Times and publishes his own Web site: www.sexytrillionaire.com
© 2000 Newsweek, Inc.
-- Anonymous, November 21, 2000
While I will, indeed cannot, argue that W is the best candidate to ever come down the pike, I am curious as to why you exhibit such outright hatred of the man.Elaborate please.
-- Anonymous, November 22, 2000
hee hee, loved it cherri. loved it...
-- Anonymous, November 22, 2000
Waiting for an answer to Unk's question.Waiting.
-- Anonymous, November 23, 2000
As an individual, he has exibeted no characteristics of a leader, much less of someone who should be leader of the biggest country of the free world. He's a jerk, the kind of person who sits around a Texas bar drinking and making crude jokes against anyone and anything that is different from himself. If they had picked up a drunk in a mission, cleaned him up, given him job after job which he failed at, until they realised he had to be spoon fed instructions to accomplish anything, got groups of big money behind an effort to create an illusion of compatency and ability in his ability, choosing this person based on name recognition, (That's why Jeb wasn't chosen) and spin, spin, spin, all the while keep him from saying anything that has not been written and rehearsed for him.He is bumbling idiot, he has shown he doesn't have the capacity for logical though, his ideas and the little world he lives in is an so bacward to the rest of the country, he doesn't see anything wrong with lying, knowingly lying, and hiding his wrongdoings in the past. An attitude the he and his group have is that they feel if they say something over and over enough times, it will become fact. Admitting to doing things in the past that he is hot proud of is a sleazy way to coverup anything that gets brought to light. <
>He went AWOL. There are military records proving this, and other paperwork the Bush camp showed that supposidly proved otherwise, paperwork without his name or social security number on it, it was shown in an attempt to make people believe it was real. The RNC has gone to extremes to hide the facts of Bush's past. If he were to make it as president, he would be up on investigation of many charges before he even sat in the oval office. If they were smart, they would let him concede as soon a the count goes to Gore. Not to mention ALL of the charges and reports of irregularities that have come up in Fla that are not yet at the fore front of the news. Such as the place where absentee ballots were sent out to every republican that moved, without their asking for them, where they are only supposed to be given upon request and with reason, such as inability to make it to the polls, thus making certain voters who might not bother,actually vote. While notdoing the same for Democratic voters. This doesn't stink?
-- Anonymous, November 23, 2000
The best I can make out of that mess is he was alleged to have gone AWOL. I expected better.
-- Anonymous, November 24, 2000
I took the article as a joke. The same kind of joke can certainly be written on Gore, the sore loser who wants a do-over because the vote didn't go his way. "But I am popular! You like me! You really really like me!""We want every vote to count". Translation, "only those votes are for me count."
"I don't know who will win in Florida", translation "I'm going to make sure these dippled cards are voted for me, just give me a little time and I *can* come up with 931 votes. Then we can stop counting and declare me the winner."
He talks to the press just like a second grade teacher. Speaking very s l o w l y, annunciating every syllable for those who aren't as "intelligent" as he. Head tilts from side to side, the SNL comedian has it down-pat. There's just so much there to ridicule!
-- Anonymous, November 24, 2000
The best I can make out of that mess is he was alleged to have gone AWOL. I expected better.If I may. What I got out of it was and knowing/reading Cherri for the past (almost) two years...she has somewhat of an abhorrence for the guy...plain and simple. And sometimes our gut feel just can't be described in words or to someone's satifaction.
You have to admit, that this medium of communication is very diffucult at times ;) ..if not downright "impossible" at others.
-- Anonymous, November 24, 2000
It's late, I'll make it real short.Peg,
I ought to resurrect my old thread about how giving women the vote will destroy America, since they do not use their head when voting. No, on second thought, nevermind. (It's a joke)
Here, it's easy to do, watch.
I don't like Al because he is a bigger government guy, and I am a smaller government guy.
See? Eighteen words, one sentence, simple and to the point. The main reason I do not like Al. If you care for more facts to back it up, I shall oblige.
-- Anonymous, November 25, 2000
Speaking very s l o w l y, annunciating every syllable for those who aren't as "intelligent" as he.He can annunciate every syllable. He has to, for people like Bush. You know... The guy who puts down the Democrats and Al Gore for thinking that social security is a "federal" program~~~.
Can any of you Bush supporters show me where he has said anything about his policies? Besides claiming to have some? Hell, has he ever been known for saying anything that wasn't rehearsed and drilled into him by others besides calling that reporter an asshole?
Doesn't a person have to get a securtiy clearance when applying for the presidency? If so, did he lie about his DIU convinctions? No big deal? Clinton lied about sex. Driving drunk is potentially deadly to the public, what Clinton lied about isn't, unless he were to get aids, then it would only be deadly to himself.
Haven't you noticed his vague answers to pointed questions? He has his little litteny of phrases he uses over and over. Any origional thoughts from this guy? Yea, right....
I was a staunch republican for most of my life, but I'm not blind and I have seen it all go downhill since Newts lessons on negitive campaigning. Even he is now saying the repugs have gone too far. Sit back and watch what happens. We now have GW Bush telling the suprime court what they are supposed to do. It has gone to his head, he has gone too far.
-- Anonymous, November 25, 2000
He can annunciate every syllable. He has to, for people like Bush.No he doesn't. This IMO makes him appear pompous. The sight of him bobbing his head up and down on every syllable makes me laugh.
The guy who puts down the Democrats and Al Gore for thinking that social security is a "federal" program~~~.
I happen to agree that SS, born out of the depression era, has lost its purpose. It shouldn't be a federal program. It's an additional tax that I'd like to see eliminated. So, I agree with Bush on SS.
Can any of you Bush supporters show me where he has said anything about his policies?
During the debates he spoke about his proposals. Poo-poo if you like, but he did say something, even if you didn't agree with them.
Doesn't a person have to get a securtiy clearance when applying for the presidency? Yes
If so, did he lie about his DIU convinctions? No
Clinton lied about sex. Yes and committed perjury (lying under oath).
Even he [Newt] is now saying the repugs have gone too far. When? Please provide substance when making these false accusations.
We now have GW Bush telling the suprime court what they are supposed to do. What? Please provide some shred of evidence. The Supreme Court doesn't follow any citizen's instructions.
-- Anonymous, November 27, 2000
"I happen to agree that SS, born out of the depression era, has lost its purpose. It shouldn't be a federal program. It's an additional tax that I'd like to see eliminated. So, I agree with Bush on SS."
Except Maria, as you did previously to me ("forward thinking" -- rotflmbo) you are deliberately avoiding the point.
George W. Bush, the man in whom you have placed all your faith as a World Leader, referred to the current Social Security System as NOT being a Federal program. He was NOT speaking in terms of "this is what I believe SHOULD be"; he was speaking in terms of HOW IT IS NOW.
It has absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with whether you or he or I or Cherri or ANYONE thinks it SHOULDN'T BE a Federal program.
Do you see the difference there?
-- Anonymous, November 27, 2000
Yes Patricia, I was not commenting on his use of the English language. I stand corrected by your almighty words. So What? Yes I also laughed at his statement on the judical branch making laws. Big deal. He sometimes gets the words out of order. I was not commenting on something so petty. But if you feel the need to belittle this attribute of the man, have at it. If you feel the need to blast such a petty cause, more power to you and your need to "stand up and say so". I'll grant you your points on Bush's inept handling of the English language. Anything else you'd like to debate?
-- Anonymous, November 27, 2000
Funny how when it comes out of Bush's mouth it's getting "the words out of order", but when Gore (or pick-a-Democrat, really) does it, it's lying.
I'm not debating anything, Maria. Just kind of pointing out your double standard, which, in retrospect, you don't really need me to do. Sorry to waste your time.
As to GWB's lack of command of the English language, he doesn't need me to point it out. Heh, he doesn't need anyone to point it out -- all he has to do is open his mouth. I think it's crystal clear why his "advisors" wouldn't let him hold a press conference. Do you think they will have the same "policy" once he gets in office? We're in deep doo-doo as a nation when he has to meet with foreign heads of state without the "benefit" of his "advisors".
I just hope they show him how to work the microphone's "on/off" switch.
-- Anonymous, November 27, 2000
"Funny how when it comes out of Bush's mouth it's getting "the words out of order", but when Gore (or pick-a-Democrat, really) does it, it's lying." Do you think that Bush lied about the SS being a federal program or the judicial branch making the laws? Do you think these were really Bush lies and not just some mis-statements?You seem really upset by the Bush win. This quote, "the man in whom you have placed all your faith as a World Leader" says it (to me anyway). No I haven't place all my faith in him. If you recall on another thread in a far far galaxy, I stated that I like Bush's style over Gore's. Let me repeat it since I can't find it. Gore looks (and is now acting) in a very micro management style. Nothing gets done without Gore's say-so. He has his fingers in everything, right down to this contest. That's who he is. Bush, OTOH, will allow those around him to do the job they were hired to do. He's not micro but will manage his people and not dictate to his people. I really like that management style much better. So, back to your quote above, I've place my faith in his style, not so much him. You obviously disagree.
-- Anonymous, November 28, 2000