Some of you will immediatly know what it's like and others have yet to experience it but those first lines spoken can strike more terror than an army of swat teams. " Mr. Rosen ? --yes. "Mr. Joel Rosen"--yes. "Do you have a wife named Rebecca" ?--yes "I am Officer K.L. Moulton of the Roanoke County Sheriff's office and there has been an accident !

Your heart skips a beat, time stops and for a seeming eternity many facets of life flash through your brain. Than comes the dreaded news--" your car is undriveable" WHO CARE"S My wife ? How is my wife ? Who in any realm of the imagination cares about some hunk of scrap metal ?

Many of us take for granted the dangers of where we live. My own nightmare is a mountain road named 311 that is a never ending circus ride with death waiting around each bend. Deer, trees falling, mudslides, rock slides, drunken drivers and 2000 ft falls to the valleys. 30 miles of some of the worst highway in america.

Well the good news is Becky only had to stay in the hospital 5 hours but it sure shocked me to reality. To add to the sour grapes fable--well I never liked that automobile anyway and there is sure nothing left to save of it. But I thank God it held together jst long enough to keep my wife alive ! If you ever have to make that dreaded phone call than please start the message with ---___"first let me tell you your loved ones are alive "!

-- Joel Rosen (Joel681@webtv.net), December 06, 2000

Answers

We are very thankful she is allright, Joel. Sorry the guy shook you up, they could word it better when they call, for sure. I know when Steve is very late and it is dark and the phone rings it gives me a fright. I pray for their safty all the time. Give Becky a hug for us.

-- Cindy in Ky (solidrockranch@msn.com), December 06, 2000.

Joel, praise the Lord that Becky is OK. I am sooo happy for her. As a nurse, I had to place those calls before, it is never easy, especially when the person is dead. I would always choke up myself.

-- bwilliams (bjconthefarm@yahoo.com), December 06, 2000.

Joel let me start off by saying I am like yourself and others, grateful Becky is OK. A reality check is what I call things like this, you know of my Religious beliefs,a centering point and a point which you and your family will start your lives over.Since last night you have changed as your family has,think of the whole event as a gift,you were givin your wife again and your children their mother.Life has a funny way of working, every event is ment to teach, the lesson may or may not be clear now but it is there just waiting to be discovered.Family takes on a whole different meaning when you think yours is gone. Again give Becky our best.

-- renee oneill{md.} (oneillsr@home.com), December 06, 2000.

Joel, thank God Becky is okay!!!! I hope she isn't too terribly shook up and that you get a lovely replacement vehicle. My best to all of you!

-- Doreen (animalwaitress@excite.com), December 06, 2000.

Yes, thank God all turned out well and safe..very terrifying getting that call.. Have not had one and hope I never do..Nothing can prepare a person for that!

-- Lynn (mscratch1@semo.net), December 06, 2000.

Oh Joel, so glad for a good ending!!! Been there and had that call with children involved. Really scary and the core of your world gets very small very fast. Everything but our loved ones are replacable in this world and we sure see that so fast. God Bless, and yes, it would be helpful if people making the calls would be outgoing with the good news first, if there is any. As a nurse I have had to make them and sometimes (things just don't come out the way you intend them to).

-- diane (gardiacaprines@yahoo.com), December 06, 2000.

Hi Joel,

So glad to hear that Becky is ok. That must have been awfull!

Hubby jumps out of a lot of planes for a living. When the phone rings I hold my breath, never knowing if it's him calling to let me know he's safe, or someone els calling to let me know otherwise!

Take good care of Becky. She must be pretty shook up.

Thinking of you all,

Pauline in NC

-- Pauline (tworoosters_farm@altavista.com), December 06, 2000.

Joel -- a prayer of thanks went up today for the safety of your family. I hope Becky isn't too shaken.

-- Tracy (trimmer@westzone.com), December 06, 2000.

A tear runs down my cheek as I have read through this . To know that so many people care that don't know me except for words on a screen. It is just amazing to me Thank you all!!!! I am stiff and sore but Thank God alive . For all you nurses out there I had to make "one of those calls" before I came home that morning. What a way to start a day. Thank you also to my loveing husband . Who surprises me every time I turn around with his passion for life and his uncondtional love for me. It seems a bottomless well All my love to you all.

-- Becky (Joel681@webtv.net), December 06, 2000.

I was so glad to hear that Becky was all right -- Joel, you didn't do any better than that policeman, giving us the bad news first!! I used to worry about my husband, when he was working twenty-four hour shifts, then driving forty miles home. Never got one of those phone calls, and I hope I never do.

-- Kathleen Sanderson (stonycft@worldpath.net), December 06, 2000.

Hi Joel and Becky,

Thank God for His mercies. I was a police dispatcher for 15 years and I too had to make those dreaded calls, they were never easy. But I am so glad that Becky is alright, this is the sort of thing that makes us stop and realize what is really important. Blessings to you both. - Kathy

-- Kathy (jubilant@ncweb.com), December 06, 2000.

Glad your wife wasnt hurt,Lifes little wake up calls sure make you apreciate what you have more.

-- kathy h (ckhart55@earthlink.net), December 06, 2000.

Glad she ok Joel

-- STAN (sopal@net-port.com), December 06, 2000.

Joel, just reading your post really shook me up! I can hardly imagine what it must have been like for you! I can't believe anyone could keep you in suspense like that, and wholeheartedly agree with your suggestion. I'm very grateful that Becky is alive, and hope your family recovers quickly from this trauma. Laura

-- Laura Jensen (lauraj@seedlaw.com), December 06, 2000.

Praise God that the good Lord kept Becky in His hand - getting bounced around in a vehicle ain't no fun (from personal experience, long ago). Glad she's ok

-- Judi (ddecaro@snet.net), December 06, 2000.

Joel and Becky I am so thankful that everything is OK. It is amazing how God cares for us. I know how scary that would be for me. Joe is driving 65 miles one way to work. I say a prayer everyday for his safety. All I can do until he gets something closer to home is leave the weather(icy roads), and all those other vehicles in God's hands. If I didn't believe in God being in control, how truly frightening life would be. Also knowing that we all stand on the edge of eternity sure helps us value those we love so much. God bless you both.

Little Bit Farm

-- Little bit Farm (littlebit@calinet.com), December 06, 2000.

Joel and Becky, glad your OK. Praise the Lord. Enjoy the Season and each other. John

-- John in S IN (jsmengel@hotmail.com), December 06, 2000.

Becky, sure happy to hear that you are alright. Cars can be replaced, minor inconvenience. I'm so glad you weren't seriously hurt. Joel, you really are a special guy. You two are lucky to have each other.

-- Cathy Horn (hrnofplnty@webtv.net), December 06, 2000.

Well Joel, you got my heart thumping, I was prepared for bad news whew!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank god she is ok. I just can't believe someone would be so ignorant as to mention the car first! Sounds like this was a cheep lesson. I'm going to go hug my husband.

-- Tina (clia88@newmexico.com), December 06, 2000.

Glad everything is okay. Good to have you back again.

-- Dee (gdgtur@goes.com), December 06, 2000.

Joel, so glad Becky is going to be OK, machines are easily replaced, lives are so precious! Was she wearing a seat belt? I'm a former paramedic, and am always curious to ask this after an accident, have seen far too many times where loved ones would still be with us if they had been wearing one at the time of an accident, my sister-in- law was one of them. Annie in SE OH.

-- Annie Miller (annie@1st.net), December 07, 2000.

"For I know the plans I have for you"says the Lord."They are plansfor good and not for disaster,to give you a future and a hope.In those days when you pray,I will listen.I sou look for me in earnest you will find me when you seek me.I will be found by you,"says the Lord,To be reminded of how precious life is,is a wonderful gift.Thanx for sharing that with us Joel and i'm so glad for you and your family that all is well.

-- teri m (mrs_smurf2000@yahoo.ca), December 07, 2000.

Joel & Becky, Praise God!

-- Wendy@GraceAcres (wjl7@hotmail.com), December 07, 2000.

We had a police officer show up at our house, no phone, to say there had been an accident involving our olderst son and to call the hospital. My heart stopped. We thought he had been hurt and was in the hospital. Well, we called, he was killed!!! I still shake and I cry as I type this 5 years latter, because the pain never ends!! My other son called to say he went off the road, it had been raining,I tore to the scene, nearly went off myself to find the car totaled in the road after hitting a pole!! Thank God he was alright!!

-- PC (zpjc5_@hotmail.com), December 07, 2000.

Joel & Becky, praise God you're allright! Had to make one of those calls and also received two.

-- Phyllis (almostafarm@yahoo.com), December 07, 2000.

I am certainly glad Becky is ok! What a fright! After my mother died very unexpectedly eight years ago I was the only one 'able' (my brother and family wouldn't) to make the phone calls to her siblings (I called one of her sisters first to ask if she could call everyone else and she said she "just couldn't" make the phone calls for me.) I called each of them (5) and started the conversation with something like "Well, mom thought she had the flu and went to the hospital... (then a brief fill-in). But she had evidently has something more serious and didn't survive." We found out later that she died of a cardiac tamponade - basically the heart muscle ruptures and bleeds out into the chest cavity. I think maybe we use a preamble to the news to steel both ourselves and the recipient. I have received "those calls" where the caller simply says, "Gail? _name here_ died." Very icky. I know the preamble is frustrating and all but I think I prefer it. Perhaps your agitation can then be focused towards the messenger. I agree that you don't really care about the car. Maybe the officer was trying to answer the question most people ask. Sounds like your road is nasty. I'm certainly glad Becky is recovering and will be around to brighten your days. Have a very merry holiday season!

-- Gailann Schrader (gtschrader@aol.com), December 09, 2000.

Joel and Becky, Just read your post, and I am so thankful that this wasn't more serious. It is never easy to get calls like the one you received, Joel, and I'm sure when you are off on one of your trips, Becky fears getting the same type of call. Take care of yourselves, and appreciate each day you have together..they are precious, as you know! God Bless! Jan

-- Jan in Colorado (Janice12@aol.com), December 09, 2000.

Joel, I've had that scare--sometimes it turned out well and sometimes not. We just all need to realize we are all here on earth for such a limited amount of time that we need to daily let our loved ones know how much we care about them! And we should each live each moment as if it could be our last!

My baby daughter and her six year old son were in a wreck three days ago and came out o.k. (but their car didn't). He had on his seatbelt and she didn't so it is a wonder she is still with us the way she bounced around inside that car!

Give your wife a big hug from all of us on the Forum! Suzy

-- Suzy in 'Bama (slgt@yahoo.com), December 09, 2000.

Joel and Becky - best wishes for you and I hope you both get over this soon. I'm not sure from the post which one of you had the hardest time! Next time, J, don't scare us like that! For a moment, my heart just sank. I've already had one friend die this week (see my post) and I couldn't take another.

-- Soni (thomkilroy@hotmail.com), December 09, 2000.