Moses, listen to what I say:

1) You are stuck with the new host!!!!! Like him or leave him.

2) There will be no version of Junkyard Wars for kids. Even I don't have the lawers to get away with that.

3) Put more thought into some of these challenge ideas before you post them on this message board. I am ashamed of some of you.

4) Quit complaining about a conspiracy theory involving the N.E.R.D.S. losing last season. The answer is; "Yes there was foulplay, and No you cannot do anything about it.

5) The American version is good, quit complaining, there are now 2 versions of your favorite show. You should be thanking me.

6) Canadians do not get their own version, because, well Canadian TV sucks. Watch the American version, you always have before.

7) Do not worry about the danger of some of these challenges, because believe me, Heaven is not overflowing.

8) You have only a few hours of life construction time remaining. quit complaining about a television show.

9) No, I will not help you put together a winning team, so quit asking me.

10) Yes, Robert Llewellyn is one of my messengers.

This is the word of God, Follow it and be Happy!!!

-- the almighty (god@heaven.com), January 11, 2001

Answers

Hilarious!!! Thank you God for once again brightening my day...

-- Sue Crum (wscrum@zekes.com), January 11, 2001.

What about a message from Satan?

-- Richard Manahan (rjcyclesk8@hotmail.com), January 11, 2001.

I am the devil's advocate, here is our official standing on JYW

1. Yes, George will be replaced by a sock puppet.

2. I hate to say it but I agree with G on no kids JYW. Too dumb, too cutesy, too much crying, and constant diaper changing.

4. Yes it was a conspricacy by the brits. There was a fourth "brother in arms" (named skippy) on the grassy knoll.

6. I agree with G again on Canadian TV.

SM

-- Satanic Mechanic (satanic_mechanic@hotmail.com), January 11, 2001.

....the secret is now out. Canadian TV does suck (yes, I'm Canadian). That's why we send all of our good actors to the US before they get the chance to "star" in a crappy show. Although we did manage to pass off Dawson's Creek on alot of unsuspecting Americans.

-- Cpt. Canuck (canuck@cdn_tv.sucks), January 11, 2001.

a most excellent post!........i think your in the lead for best thought out post yet!!!!! ah ha! a new JYW competetion!......best posts based on content and message continuity!

-- tim (milehiharley@hotmail.com), January 11, 2001.

Damn! God must be Canadian! I just thought all of these things were Canadian's thoughts, not god's!

Now could we just make this post required reading for everyone posting?

-- Michael (Canadian P.Eng.) (michael@mks-tech.com), January 12, 2001.

What about The Kids in the Hall, thats good Canadian TV. Tom Green is Canadian also...

-- Ryley Felver (CSjACKhANDEY@aol.com), January 12, 2001.

I felt sorry for you, so I gave you Kids In The Hall & Tom Green and made you think they were good, but keep watching them, you will soon see that they are not!!!

-- The Almighty (God@heaven.com), January 12, 2001.