As an eternal optimist who has the faint hope that someone might check in Saturday night...

-- Anonymous, January 13, 2001

Answers

Also, please reassure me that it's OK that I wished PF good luck on the Dear So and So thread. It was late, I was tired, and I felt snarky for not doing it since I had just posted in the middle east thread anyway.

Besides, Hannah did it first.

-- Anonymous, January 13, 2001

Mike, this big homebody will be here tonight, never fear.

Today's my little brother's 22nd birthday. Happy Birthday, Lane!

-- Anonymous, January 13, 2001

Virginia Tech's baskeball team is not very good, in case any of y'all were curious.

-- Anonymous, January 13, 2001

Anyone around on this Saturday night?

-- Anonymous, January 13, 2001

I'm here. Unfortunately.

-- Anonymous, January 13, 2001

I'm here enjoying a delicious Coors Light and a lovely cigarette. Heh.

You working?

-- Anonymous, January 13, 2001

Of course.

No Coors Light to be found.

-- Anonymous, January 13, 2001

Well, it's a truly sad occasion when Coors Light isn't to be found.

Tell me something interesting. We've all been in our pajamas all day. That's not interesting at all.

-- Anonymous, January 13, 2001

Man, I wish I was in my pajamas right now. I'm actually more dressy than usual on a Saturday because I went to the game as press, and thus had to look all snazzy and whatnot.

Something interesting? Um ... it looks like it'll only be in the 50s next week in Vegas, so I'm thinking I can go easy on the bathing suits.

-- Anonymous, January 13, 2001

Oh no, sir. You must bring the bathing suits. That beach picture is the cutest thing ever.

I can't wait for Vegas! I can't believe it's a week away.

I want to be a sportswriter. That sounds fun. Except I'm not at all Hannah Storm-ish.

-- Anonymous, January 13, 2001

That's OK. Neither is Hannah Storm.

It's a fine job, but the hours suck. Oh, well. I have hockey on the TV and Ga. Tech-Wake Forest on the radio.

But I'd rather be in my pjs with a beer.

Any word from Chin Feng Chen?

-- Anonymous, January 13, 2001

Mike-san! I hear you asking about Chin Feng! Sank-a you for concern. Right now, I stalking Arrison and trying to pass her Puffy Taco through window of Meat of Cheese's house! She trying to look innocent, but we all know she want Chin Feng.

I see you later, Mike! You keep hands off MATH girlies in Vegas, especiarry Arrison. Or I come to your house and KUNG-FU on you!

-- Anonymous, January 13, 2001

Would I tangle with you, oh great baseball prospect? I'm no dummy.

Georgia Tech leads Wake Forest by two with seven seconds left...

-- Anonymous, January 13, 2001

...but now we're heading to oooooooooooooooooooooovertime.

-- Anonymous, January 13, 2001

I see Chin Feng's been here.

-- Anonymous, January 13, 2001

Vince wants to know, is that on TV?

-- Anonymous, January 13, 2001

Only if you have DirecTV, I think. And we don't.

The Georgia Tech radio guys are funny. Tony Akins "done drug his pivot foot", so he was called for travelling. They have another guy who's from Oak Ridge, and the announcers called him "The Oak Ridge Reactor."

-- Anonymous, January 13, 2001

We don't. We do have NBA League Pass, though, which takes up every minute of our prime-time viewing.

Vince is watching LA/Utah. I hate the Lakers.

-- Anonymous, January 13, 2001

You say that as though watching sports all the time is a bad thing.

That's actually why I'm glad I don't have the college basketball DirecTV thing, because I'd never leave the house. It'd be like, "Happy Birthday, mom! But I can't go to dinner because Michigan and Ohio State are playing in half an hour."

-- Anonymous, January 13, 2001

See, it's only good when it's teams I want to watch. Vince would watch the Clippers all night if they were on.

My 5-year old knows who Reggie Miller is. How funny is that?

-- Anonymous, January 13, 2001

You gotta like the Clippers.

We're stuck with the crap-ass (don't let the child see my bad language!) Wizards. I have two extra tickets to Monday afternoon's game, and nobody will take them.

Georgia Tech has upset No. 6 Wake Forest in overtime. I think the announcer might have just have peed himself.

-- Anonymous, January 13, 2001

But does she know who Juwon Howard is? That's the key question.

-- Anonymous, January 13, 2001

We are stuck, sort of, with the Mavericks. The highlight of my year was seeing the Knicks play them. Even though they got their asses kicked.

Go team!

-- Anonymous, January 13, 2001

Um, no. But she can identify Reggie Miller, Latrell Sprewell, Vince Carter, and Allen Iverson.

Don't ever let anyone tell you Mad Madeleine's not a badass.

-- Anonymous, January 13, 2001

She hasn't started hinting about tatoos, has she?

-- Anonymous, January 13, 2001

I hope not. She does love her Grinch tattoos, though. I may need to check on that.

You know she's coming to your house after she gets through staying with Hannah, don't you?

-- Anonymous, January 13, 2001

Oh, I hope so! I have popsicles and everything, and I'll take her to the momuments and museums and buy myself -- er, I mean her -- some popcorn.

-- Anonymous, January 13, 2001

She doesn't like popcorn too much, so you can have it.

But if you have Reese's, she'll love you forever.

This Coors Light is making me tipsy. I am such a cheap date. It's making me want to go be 7 at Squishy.

-- Anonymous, January 13, 2001

Plus, I think we have pandas again at the National Zoo. Could she possibly resist the appeal of seeing the pandas?

-- Anonymous, January 13, 2001

I always have the peanut butter cups ... but if you mean Reese's pieces, I might have to go buy some.

-- Anonymous, January 13, 2001

I saw the new pandas on Katie and Matt! Ling Xie and Tien Tien or something like that?

The peanut butter cups. She'd give away her parents for those.

-- Anonymous, January 13, 2001

I might have done the same when I was five.

Now you'd have to throw in some Bailey's.

-- Anonymous, January 13, 2001

I never liked candy that much. Sunflower seeds, now--I was obsessed.

This guy keeps e-mailing me and asking me to buy his iBook. I can't tell whether to trust him or not. He's asking $350 now, instead of $500. Do you smell a rat? (Not a Ratsy, mind you.)

-- Anonymous, January 13, 2001

I love the ones out of their shells. Conversely, peanuts have to be bought with the shells on (and preferably at a baseball game, so I can drop the shells on the ground).

How much do i-book's typically cost? And is it someone you know, or some random person with one to spare?

-- Anonymous, January 13, 2001

I love the ones out of their shells. Conversely, peanuts have to be bought with the shells on (and preferably at a baseball game, so I can drop the shells on the ground). How much do i-book's typically cost? And is it someone you know, or some random person with one to spare?

No! They must be in their shells! Um, I don't know why I'm so adamant about that.

The new iBooks cost $1500, but I've seen them used for around $800. The listing was on Yahoo Classifieds, but I'm not sure if there's a way to tell if the person is for real or not. It would be a great deal if he were legit.

-- Anonymous, January 13, 2001

I have no idea how I quoted you.

-- Anonymous, January 13, 2001

Are they insured ... like, if you buy the i-book and the seller absconds with the cash, will the yahoo classified people refund your money?

I'm just not good with the sunflower seed shells ... I can't crack them off in that cool way. Poor genetics or something.

-- Anonymous, January 13, 2001

I don't know. I looked, but couldn't find anything about it. I may e-mail them to find out, because I really want it.

You have to crack them with your teeth, after you suck all the salt off. Practice, grasshopper, practice. (The Tom's Sports Pack kind are the best.)

I am such a big fruitcake.

-- Anonymous, January 13, 2001

Yeah, but that approach takes forever. When I'm hungry, that's just too complicated a ritual.

-- Anonymous, January 13, 2001

I understand. You hate the seeds. No, it's cool, man.

What time do you get off work?

-- Anonymous, January 13, 2001

No! I like the seeds. I just hate the process. We're the internet generation ... no time for things like cracking seeds.

I'm off at 2 a.m., ET. In theory. It'll probably be 2:30 or 3 in reality.

-- Anonymous, January 13, 2001

That's terrible. Too late to work.

My OCD husband is making a list of "things I'm not supposed to put in the dryer." We're so much fun on a Saturday night.

-- Anonymous, January 13, 2001

What can't you put in the drier? Besides tissues and chocolate cake, I mean.

-- Anonymous, January 13, 2001

Oh, many things. His stretch shirts, several pairs of pants, one pair of jeans that must be air-dried only, and so forth.

He's a freak.

-- Anonymous, January 13, 2001

Wow. Who knew doing the wash was so complicated?

Although I do take my collared shirts to be dry-cleaned. But that's just because I don't own an iron.

-- Anonymous, January 13, 2001

I have never met a person so meticulous about his clothes. But I guess that's why they're always looking so nice.

Another beer? Yes, thank you!

I can teach you to say that in Chinese, too.

-- Anonymous, January 13, 2001

That would be great!

My college girlfriend was ethnic Chinese, and she and her mom and aunt used to talk in Chinese all the time. I'd just nod politely.

-- Anonymous, January 13, 2001

I always think they're laughing at me. Chinese people laugh a lot when they talk.

Okay:

Another beer?: Wo you pi ma? /Wuh yo' pee ma?/

Yes, thank you!: Ni you pi, xie xie ni! /Ni yo' pee, sheh sheh knee!/

-- Anonymous, January 13, 2001

Yeah, I'll try saying that in Vegas and they'll be like "What are you saying about my mother?!"

-- Anonymous, January 13, 2001

Hee! I'll teach you much Chinese in Vegas, grasshopper. Then you can impress people with talk about your mother.

I'm thinking of taking a class and not telling V's family, so then I can understand what they're saying and they won't know.

Like a spy.

-- Anonymous, January 13, 2001

Isn't it really hard to learn? Spanish is bad enough, and half the words there are pretty close to what they are in English.

That would be great ... they'd be talking about you and you could casually chine in with your two cents, and they'd be floored.

-- Anonymous, January 13, 2001

It's just really hard to pronounce. They have that guttural "h" sound like in French, and some other weird ways of pronouncing sounds that our mouths aren't used to. And one word will have four different "tones" or pronunciations, and they all mean something different.

Yeah, they don't realize Vince understands 95% of what they're saying, and he always translates to me under his breath. It's fun.

-- Anonymous, January 14, 2001

Plus, you know, they really need to switch their alphabet to a Western one to conform with U.S. standards and procedures. That would make it easier.

I think I'm on my sixth coke of the day here.

-- Anonymous, January 14, 2001

Of course. Dumb Chinese with their symbols and calligraphy and shit.

Coke is good. Don't stop drinking the Coke!

V's mom gave me this Chinese calligraphy set for my birthday. I have no idea what to do with it. It's got all these weird parts and features.

-- Anonymous, January 14, 2001

I hate Jessifer.

-- Anonymous, January 14, 2001

I've always wanted one of those Chinese writing sets. They look really cool.

We have an Asian supermarket nearby that I go to now and then for rice and whatnot, and they have the coolest stuff there. It kicks ass.

-- Anonymous, January 14, 2001

Jessifer's just an attention whore, that's all.

-- Anonymous, January 14, 2001

There's no Asian grocery in Monroe, so I had to go to the one here with a list of items written in Chinese by his mom. I followed this old guy around for about half an hour until he had gotten all the groceries together. It smelled bad.

I did learn how to make miso soup, though, and that's always a bonus.

-- Anonymous, January 14, 2001

We have a ton here. The one I go to is "Lucky World" or something like that. It's neat. And I'll all about buying the seaweed to go with the rice.

-- Anonymous, January 14, 2001

She's a fool.

So, tell me, you're really not going to decline the karaoke in Vegas, are you?

Because I know I can't sing, but I plan on getting drunk enough to do it anyway.

-- Anonymous, January 14, 2001

Lucky World! That's great. Ours is called "Hong Kong Supermarket" or something like that.

I wish we had a Lucky World. Or a Double Happiness World.

-- Anonymous, January 14, 2001

I'll put it like this: I'll need a lot of alcohol, I'm not going first, and at least at first I'd have to be part of a big group so I could be incognito.

But I'll probably belt out a John Mellencamp or Violent Femmes song at some point. After many beers.

-- Anonymous, January 14, 2001

Fabulous! I'm sure Allison will need backup singers at some point, which is when I'm planning to take the stage.

Always the backup, never the lead. Sigh.

-- Anonymous, January 14, 2001

Lucky World does rock. I feel all cool with the rice and condiments. I've got the rice-cooker and everything. Even chopsticks, although I'm terrible at using them.

They do sell an awful lot of things I can't identify there, though.

-- Anonymous, January 14, 2001

Oh, there's no chance I'm following Allison. Or Hannah. Or pamie.

Oh, wait. Maybe I won't sing after all. We can just be the greek chorus that catches all the roses the fans throw at the stars.

-- Anonymous, January 14, 2001

At first glance I thought you had written "geek chorus." Perhaps that's more fitting.

I always hated the chorus in my Latin classes. They were so bossy.

-- Anonymous, January 14, 2001

Geek chorus. Heh. That would definitely apply in my case.

Or we could be the Grease chorus, dress in 50s outfits and chew gum.

-- Anonymous, January 14, 2001

Oh, that sounds fun! Really, just the chewing gum part, though.

I fear I must away. The beer is gone, and my eyes are tired. I almost wrote, 'my eyes are tires.' That would have been bad.

-- Anonymous, January 14, 2001

Yeah, that would be bad.

Thanks for chatting!

-- Anonymous, January 14, 2001

Yeah, it was fun.

See you in Vegas, you cute thing.

-- Anonymous, January 14, 2001