I guess you could call me a holiday scrooge, it's not that I don't like them but more that they are sooo... pushed by the retailers. Valentines day for instance, on the early morning news this morning they reported that an estimated $350 million dollars was spent on this day alone. To me this is ridiculous, for one thing I would hope that my family shows love everyday to each other not just once a year. My dh knows that all I need is a kiss and an I love you on any given day not just the 14th of Feb. My point is stop and look at all these holidays, not including Thanksgiving, Easter or Christmas, although they are also to commercialized. I mean the holidays that seem to be for no other purpose than to get your money. I just think of myself as a very practical person not buying into all this hype. Am I the only person who feels this way?

-- Kell in MT. (kvent1729@aol.com), February 14, 2001

Answers

Agree totally. Lucky its no problem for a hermit like me to ignore all the hype. However if you have family that buys into all the sentimental fal-der-al(especially a spouse), then you either have to play along or get into big fight.

Another example is diamond engagement rings. Nobody did this before 1900's. Then DeBeers or whoever really pushed the whohah that if you really love her, you need to buy her a diamond. The more you love here the bigger the diamond. Yea, right...just more bovine fertilizer to squeeze more money out of the rubes.

-- HermitJohn (hermit@hilltop_homestead.zzn.com), February 14, 2001.

I agree, but Lynn still gets the flowers, I like to eat and sleep with both eyes shut :>) Anyway, I budget for them a little all year long and her ex thought any expense was a waste if it was spent on her. The main thing thing she gets is my love, the flowers are just icing. A touching thing I read about was a man that suffered a stroke. His memories were reduced to his courtship with his wife, Valentines Day, Christmas and their wedding day. He relives those events in a constant loop throughout the year. They still have a wonderful relationship.

-- Jay Blair in N. AL (jayblair678@yahoo.com), February 14, 2001.

I agree with you all. My daughters class in school is having a Valentines' party, which is just fine, but grown-ups going out and buying and buying to give each others presents! ridiculous. And I'm not just talking cards here. Diamonds, spa gift certificates etc... My husband tells everyone he has the perfect wife, she would rather have a truckload of manure than a diamond! It's the truth, besides I'd just loose the diamond in the garden anyhow. Holidays are a waste of money and it's hard to believe adults fall for it. They should know better.

-- Annie (misteltoe@earthlink.net), February 14, 2001.

What's really irritating is that I went into a discount department store two days before Valentine's Day, and they already have Easter stuff on display, with Valentine's stuff being clearanced out. It all seems to get worse and worse every year.

-- (trigger@mcn.net), February 14, 2001.

Next time you're in a good bookstore, look through Adbusters magazine. For me the traditional "Buy Nothing Day" (the day after Thanksgiving)is almost every day! There's also a great video that your library might have--"Advertising and the End of the World". I wish everyone could view it.

-- Sandy Davis (smd2@netzero.net), February 14, 2001.

Oops, I forget. We'll be having the perfect Valentine's Day this evening. A fire in the fireplace, the Red Wings on teevee, veggie tacos and a "beverage". That's all my dh needs and desires! (He's an original Wing Nut! Go Wings!)

-- Sandy Davis (smd2@netzero.net), February 14, 2001.

I've always called Valentines Day, Sweetest Day, etc. the "Hallmark Holidays". I told my DH if he ever got me roses for Valentines Day I would disown him! If he feels that he absolutely has to get me anything I would much prefer a living plant. So he got me a lovely african violet in a beautiful handmade pot. Now I can think of him every time I look at it, instead of just having something to enjoy for a few days and then toss in the trash.

-- Sherri C (CeltiaSkye@aol.com), February 14, 2001.

I'm in agreement with all, especially Annie. Rototill my garden honey, I can grow my own flowers.

As I took my daughter to school this morning i kept thinking about something I heard on the radio. Valentine was a Saint who was killed for illegally marrying couples in Roman times when marriage was outlawed. So, why do schools make such a big deal about it. My daughters class is spending two hours today having a party. The teacher sent home a list for valentines that included all the school staff, most of whom the kids don't have contact with.

Secondly, I see so many friends making a big deal about this day when most other days they barely speak to each other.

I personally like my one friend, whose hubby shuns these types of holidays all together and gives her a small something or takes her to dinner or gets a project done she's wanted just because. Now that's my kind of valentine.

-- jennifer (schwabauer@aol.com), February 14, 2001.

Whew, once again all of you have made me feel so at home. Where I live I'm often looked at as the exteme, or I've even been called radical, my repy, Thankyou ! LOL!! I have a hard time with people being so forward and judgemental. I even have been ridiculed from people in our church about my being such a "homesteader mom", it used to make me upset but now I just grin and say " I think your right I was born 100 yrs to late" LOL!!! In hind sight they all seem to envy me in some respects me and even brag me up to their friends. I'm just not a frue- frue person and agree that a load of manure would probably get a higher level of excitement than any old retailer holiday gift. I also told my husband not to EVER by cut flowers, if he feels so inspired get a plant, so I can look at it for years to come in my flower garden, and so chose whether or not to make a bouquet from it. Thanks I'm not feeling so scroogish now :o) Have a wonderful day.

-- Kelle in MT. (kvent1729@aol.com), February 14, 2001.

Teeheehee. I've brainwashed my girls (3 and 6). Everytime they see a commercial, they now say, "They just want our money, right Mommy? They don't care if that toy works or breaks." Santa fills their stocking and brings one gift apiece for them. Mommy and Daddy buy one for each of them. They are far from materially deprived children. My 6 yr old took little commercial valentines to school today, but that's ok. I figure the time she spent yesterday printing her name and the names of her classmates on them was well spent.

Hubby and I don't often buy cards. Tonight he's getting a lemon meringue (sp?) pie for Valentine's Day. I can guarantee he'll like that much more than a card. Especially since I don't often bake anymore. My Valentine is that he puts up with my PMS. : ) His only Valentine gift to me (our first together) was a chocolate bar and a plastic rose from the corner store. Sweetest Valentine gift I've ever had (no pun intended)!

One of my favourite pastimes is watching TV, and figuring out what demographic market is being targeted based on what commercials are running. I seem to see a lot of high-end car commercials and investment commercials (ie. etrade, Charles Schaab, etc.). Bwa-ha-ha-ha, they think I have money! They're such suckers at those advertising agencies. : )

-- Rheba (rbeall@etown.net), February 14, 2001.

I have always felt Hallmark started all these holidays to sell cards and the rest of the merchants followed suit! We keep the holidays as simple as we can. I would die if my husband wasted the money on a diamond or cut flowers on me and he knows it! If you are going to give me anything, give me something I need!

-- bwilliams (bjconthefarm@yahoo.com), February 14, 2001.

Holidays with kids in the house is a question that we no longer have to deal with. Now that it"s just the two of us things are much simpler. We do not celebrate christmas and haven't for quite a few years. When we mention this to people we get comments almost unanimously envying our choice. We still do birthdays but usually get something we need for gardening. I don't get why most people think that any celebration or expression of affection has to mean spending huge amounts of money. Watch too many commercials I suppose.

-- jz (oz49us@yahoo.com), February 15, 2001.

I signed on to tell you about MY Valentine's day and found that you all were way ahead of me!!:)

Tuesday and Wed. I worked for a friend , who owns a florist in our small town! What a WASTE! $75.00 for a doz. roses! I couldn't beleive the people who are running around on each other, who fight and fuss all year long--that were sending 2doz. roses to their wives. I told the girls working with me, I would much rather have my DH --He's good to me all year long! (I have to admit-- I did get 2 fruit trees for my birthday! )I came home and we worked on finishing a project together, had dinner together, and watched an hour of tv! It didn't cost a fortune and we were together! My idea of Valentines day! I am glad that I have some other people who think like I do!

-- Debbie T in N.C. (rdtyner@mindspring.com), February 15, 2001.

Look at the word holiday, these are really supposed to be holy days. For those of us who are Christians, we should educate ourselves on the religious aspects of each of these occasions and focus on that. Which leaves little room for Hallmark and Nestle's to elbow their way in. Those who aren't Christians but who aren't worshiping at the alter of commercialism either should learn the basic meaning of the holy day and spend the day pondering how that concept affects them. For example, with St. Valentine, he broke the local law of the day because he was following his convictions, and he was murdered for his actions. That has implication for Christians and nonChristians alike.

It is a matter of choice. No one is forcing us to buy anything. And regarding the guilt trip laid on spouses, I told mine that I expected him to treat me well 365 days a year and do the little things like bringing me a glass of frosty lemonaide when I'm working outside rather than try to buy me off with an expensive diamond tennis bracelet or other trinket two or three times a year. He was tremendously relieved and said that he had been terrified at the idea of figuring out what to get for gifts, since there's so much pressure for a man to read his wife's mind and "if he really loves her" know exactly what she wants without asking.

-- Lori in SE Ohio (klnprice@yahoo.com), February 15, 2001.

I guess this is my cursed-MBA kicking in again, but look beyond retailers. After they get their markup, their supplies are paid, who may well be you, your neighbors or family. It's money which is pumped back into the economy. Hallmark pays their printers, who pay their supplies and employees. Those employees then take that money and probably buy things locally, say at Wally World. Wally World pays their employees, who then buy things locally, etc., etc. etc. Each new dollar pumped into the economy results in an eventual economic boost of about seven dollars. I agree there are way, way too many of these events, but it's not exactually like the money is wasted. As I noted on another thread, my birthday is almost exactly nine months from Valentines Day, so I figure I'm here through the good graces of a box of chocolate.

-- Ken S. in WC TN (scharabo@aol.com), February 15, 2001.

Kell, I look at it this way...it helps keep Capitalism going. And, Capitalism is sure a lot better than Socialism or Communism. Sincerely, Ernest www.communities.msn.com/livingoffthelandintheozarks

-- Ernest in the Ozarks (espresso42@hotmail.com), February 15, 2001.

You all just keep on doing your duty to keep the wheels of capitalism going by purchasing all those frivolous things that I don't need. Part of my decision to not waste money on junk is that it eats up resources, adds to the landfills and most of all adds nothing to my happiness. The mindset that the only way to find happiness is to buy something is certainly ingrained in our culture but it is not mandatory to buy into that mindset. I have worked part time most of my life due mostly to the fact I didn't have to keep up with the "joneses". Holidays ,whether they be spiritual , pagan ,or patriotic have a symbolic meaning and I think the more they are commercialized, the less meaning they hold for us. Of course that's just my opinion.

-- jz (oz49us@yahoo.com), February 16, 2001.

Christmas is like me coming to your birthday party on the wrong day and bringing a gift for someone else. And chances are I hardly know who you are. Does this waste loving society have some strange customs or what?

-- Fred Taylor (fjcoalco@webtv.net), February 17, 2001.

My youngest sister and her husband own a flower shop. Business comes in spurts for holidays and special days (e.g., Valentine's Day). Between them they may breakeven or lose money on just things like birthdays, anniversies, weddings, funerals, etc.

-- Ken S. in WC TN (scharabo@aol.com), February 17, 2001.

Valentine's Day at our house went something like this........ I told Hubby about a week before Valentine's Day not to buy me anything as I had gone out shopping and bought myself some much needed new clothes (mainly for work) as I had lost quite a bit of weight and went down from a size 10 to a size 6.

I purchased for him the collection of The Godfather videos (he loves mob movies what can I say). Funny thing was that the day I bought them, they were running the same movies on TV and he was sitting there watching them (as he does every time he stumbles upon them while zipping through the channels).

When I got home from work that night (Valentine's Day), there on the dining room table was a rather large white box with a message written on it that simply said, "Enjoy! My little Valentine. I opened it to find a huge chocolate cake with chocolate icing inside. (Hubby knows I LOVE sweets, especially chocolate and I had been so dedicated to losing weight that I hadn't had hardly any sweets for about a month and a half). I ate a tiny sliver of that cake and shared some with the rest of my family. The rest is still sitting in the fridge waiting to be trashed come next trash pick up day due to the fact that by now it probably tastes like the fridge! It was a sweet thought though and I don't have much room for many more diamonds anyway! A smile still crosses my face when I open the fridge and see the writing on that box.....My LITTLE Valentine. The fact that he acknowledged my weight loss and supported me through it (and still does) really meant (means) alot to me.

We ordered out for Chinese food and sat together in the living room watching TV together. Sure beats bravin' the crowds in our town!

For the kids we just gave the two older girls (19 and 16) Chocolate hearts and chocolate kisses and a card with some money in it just so they could have a little something extra that they didn't have to work for or that they didn't expect. For our youngest (6), he got a chocolate teddy bear and some money as well to save or spend as he chooses. We don't have money a-plenty to just dish it out all the time to the kids so on holiday's we enjoy giving them a little treat.

Maybe that's the kid in me......I always liked surprises. Still do. I always loved the magic of the holidays as well. Still do. Always loved giving and doing for others. Still do. I think as long as you celebrate the holidays with your heart....you can never go wrong.

-- Greenthumbelina (sck8107@aol.com), February 19, 2001.

Valentines Day is a very special one for us especially this year it was our 40th anniversary, I always try to cook a special meal doesn't have to be expensive, just good. This year because it was a extra special day my DH bought me a new wedding ring as my original one was quite worn and 1 pink rose for my dresser. I love my new ring but I still wear my old one too,can't seem to put it away. Our children sent love and kisses via the phone eventhough they live close but thought we needed the day to ourselves. Money or the lack thereof seldom has any bearing on our celebration of the different holidays as we believe you should honor and show love to your family and friends 365 days of the year and not just on one day. Since I'm a art teacher Hallmark is no doubt quite mad at me as I always make my cards for Christmas and other holidays and I have taught my students to do the same. I grew up in a family that believed their was nothing better then a homemade gift with love as the beginning, I hope I have taught my children that lesson and it will stay with them forever then I will know I have done good.

Blessings, sally

-- sally stanton (mallardhen67@hotmail.com), March 15, 2001.