And the question we're all asking is...

-- Anonymous, March 14, 2001

Answers

...well, there are actually two.

Where in the world is Anna Beth Chao?

and

How was the chess pie?

Thankfully, I'm on days Thursday and Friday, because these night shifts suck. Very lonely and MATHless. Of course, I'm on nights next week, but there you go.

And I updated. And I chat at 3.

-- Anonymous, March 14, 2001

I didn't make the pie - C and I ended up going out to eat and then we went home and gorged on Girl Scout cookies.

-- Anonymous, March 14, 2001

And Joh, Chris graduated from W&M in 1993. So that's not all that old. Maybe in actor years, but in real life years, it's not that old.

-- Anonymous, March 14, 2001

Mike, do you ever read Naked Sometimes? She may be the girl for you:

http://www.nakedsometimes.com/ncaa.html

-- Anonymous, March 14, 2001

I'm here. I haven't been that sick in, like, ever. Fever sucks ass. Master V is the best husband in all the land, though. He bring me soup, and antibiotics, and Tylenol. Much better today, yay!

I missed y'all! Yesterday, in my fever-induced stupor, I kept thinking, "MATH is having fun without me. Damn them! Why can't the computer be in my head so I can type things without moving? Bastard."

T, how's the beautiful, beautiful, car? I went to the VW website and built one so I could be all jealous and shit.

-- Anonymous, March 14, 2001

AB! So glad you're feeling better.

The car is just great. It makes me real happy. It's sunny today, but it's supposed to rain tomorrow, so wah.

-- Anonymous, March 14, 2001

It's yucky and rainy here today. Gross.

T, guess where Master V wants to move? That's right. New Orleans. He's thinking about maybe going to grad school--again. Why did we buy a house here? Bleh.

-- Anonymous, March 14, 2001

Oh my god. Allison, does Chris know about Miz Lowe's Meat Of Cheese Tasties?

-- Anonymous, March 14, 2001

T, can you give me H's cell #? I want her to call Meredith.

-- Anonymous, March 14, 2001

AB - I emailed it to you.

Ooh - buying a house, and selling a house, is a total pain in the ass, BUT New Orleans is about as cool as it gets, and houses aren't all that expensive, even in Uptown and Lakeview. And V could go to Loyola, and Mad could go to Holy Name, which is on Loyola's campus, and that's where my sisters went, and it's where Art Neville's kids go to school, ant it looks like a fortress, and kids throw eggs off the roof for projects.

My mom could help y'all - she relocates people into New Orleans for a living.

-- Anonymous, March 14, 2001

I got it, T.

Oh! You make it sound so fabulous. Yeah, I think the selling and the buying bullshit is what I dread the most. I'm pretty sure we won't move for a while, at least until we do some more research on if this is really the best thing, blah blah. And our house has probably appreciated, like, one dollar. But if we do, I will be so happy. I really don't love Dallas like I want to. And your mom helping? That would be so cool. I know for sure I don't want to live in no Metairie, neither.

-- Anonymous, March 14, 2001

What, is my thread tainted or something? Jags.

Oh no. Uck. You live uptown.

AB - I got your message, I have to call my dad and then I'll call you.

I told Stee you should be their 3WA replacement and he goes "I defer to Sara" and I said "Oh, Sara looooooves AB because we kicked her plagairizer's ass."

I don't think he knew what to make of that.

-- Anonymous, March 14, 2001

Oh, H, that too funny. When I told stee he SHOULD know who I was, the look on his face was priceless. How funny would it be if I was mean Beth's replacement? I would make 3WA a house of looooooove.

You carr me! I tark to you!

-- Anonymous, March 14, 2001

Joh, have fun with your lobstah. 30 isn't so old.

Allison?

-- Anonymous, March 14, 2001

And, "30 isn't so old... Allison?" was not intented to imply that I wanted backup from Al that 30 isn't old. Two completely unrelated things.

Mike, I'm going to do a bracket. Not that the cookie bet is off, C and I have a bracket bet. It involves pie-baking.

-- Anonymous, March 14, 2001

I don't even know if I'll see him today tho. He's elusive. When I told Stee that Kim and Wing were like, now WHO was the plagairizer? And when I told them, they were like, never heard of her. Duh! But I think I confused them with "MATH's arch nemesis" jabber.

I hope Allison is sweet-talking Napolean right now, or like, coming down with a mysterious rare strain.

We put pressure. We mean.

-- Anonymous, March 14, 2001

Elusive, like a lobstah?

-- Anonymous, March 14, 2001

H said Stee might be afraid of the MATH club. I think after my showing, he definitely is. Funny. Mayn, now I want to go back this weekend!

T, how much are JazzFest tickets? Master V wants us to go ahead and make plans.

-- Anonymous, March 14, 2001

No, elusive like he knows a lot of people. Like last night after dinner he hung out with a female friend and her fiancee and was like, I'll find y'all. He probably stumbled over to where we were around 3, when we'd left at one.

Where's that I cheated and I'm proud thread?

-- Anonymous, March 14, 2001

Who's here?

-- Anonymous, March 14, 2001

Allison is!

And me, and T, I think. And I just made H have Mere's number so they could get together and go whoo-ering.

-- Anonymous, March 14, 2001

I am for a bit. Whatcho doin'?

-- Anonymous, March 14, 2001

H - I just read your brief recap. You loooove the lobstah! I knew you would! Mayn, I think that would be about the best hook-up there ever was. You know we'd like, be related.

I talked to MOC last night after I talked to you and I was like "Well, I'm so GLAD Hannah is out with PAM and not you LOSERS, because this way she's actually having FUN." He blamed it all on Eric and Trejo.

-- Anonymous, March 14, 2001

Trejo just didn't want to fall in love with me and hurt Ray's feelings.

-- Anonymous, March 14, 2001

Now where did y'all go?!

-- Anonymous, March 14, 2001

Meeting.

AB - I think they're like 24, but I'm not sure.

Al, how did the resume look?

Joh, why do you want to know about that thread?

-- Anonymous, March 14, 2001

Stee was talking about it last night. But I found it.

-- Anonymous, March 14, 2001

I'm here. Had to make more coffee and stuff. And there's some thing on the news about some freak poisoning dogs all around Dallas. Scary.

Ally McDog no get poisoned!

-- Anonymous, March 14, 2001

Now I'm L_L. Wah!

-- Anonymous, March 14, 2001

Allison is teasing us. Coming in, leaving, and Mike, he the biggest forum teaser evah. I mean, he really has a pile of work, I have no doubt, but his girls are wanting for him.

-- Anonymous, March 14, 2001

Ok, sorry. I'm back - it's 11. I had a meeting. Who's still here?

-- Anonymous, March 14, 2001

Mike ain't here, baby. He'll be in for his chat. He's 6-2, I think.

-- Anonymous, March 14, 2001

AB - I was finally able to listen to your message this morning. You broke up with me! Do you remember? You were SO mad! I don't blame you, but I couldn't help it - I wasn't even with the cool people much that night, myself. I was hanging with my friend Handsome Dan.

Awww... AB.... you gots to still love me! You know we down.

-- Anonymous, March 14, 2001

I broke up with you?!? Oh no! What the hell did I say? All I remember is Molly saying something to tell you. Do you remember it? I want to put it in my entry.

Can we get back together? I miss my Al-lovin'.

-- Anonymous, March 14, 2001

Dude, I deleted it. It made me way too sad. I could hear Molly saying something but you were like "And MOLLY says you are just ONE big dissapointing BITCH so..." and she was like "I did NOT say that!" and you were all "It's over!"

-- Anonymous, March 14, 2001

I just got off the phone with H. She is trying to get me to come down tonight. Y'all... I would have to seriously fake an illness. That ain't right... is it? Somebody stop me from losing my professional ethics...

-- Anonymous, March 14, 2001

I don't know, but if you leave tomorrow night, when are you coming back? Because I may want to go back. Is that just self-inflicting punishment on my body?

Oh, Al, I'm sorry I was mean. I didn't mean it, I didn't! "...disappointing BITCH" is very funny, though.

-- Anonymous, March 14, 2001

All I know is, I loooooooove you but I'll lOOOOOOOOOve you if I see you tonight.

I mean, Ray and Hannah togethah? How can you deny yourself that?

-- Anonymous, March 14, 2001

I don't think you CAN deny yourself that. If it weren't raining, and I didn't have to wash my hair, I would get in my car and drive down right now, Han.

-- Anonymous, March 14, 2001

So wash your hair and get in your car. You can stay here with me.

But you know, when Ray comes back here, you know, you'll have to sleep in the tub.

-- Anonymous, March 14, 2001

I am back. I washed my hair. And updated.

H, I really would! But Mad Madeleine's parent-teacher conference is in a minute. And I can't miss THAT!

-- Anonymous, March 14, 2001

okay, well, tomorrow then, eh? Of course you'll miss the Hannah/Rayness but you know.

-- Anonymous, March 14, 2001

H - you still around? Have you talked to the MOC? He needs to be setting you up with the wristband, yo.

-- Anonymous, March 14, 2001

And I just cannot come down tonight. Napoleon already hates my ass. I can't do it. But I'll leave early tomorrow and be there! You still can love me!

-- Anonymous, March 14, 2001

Where are you jags? I wish this thing had a time stamp. It's 1:30 CST, just for reference.

I see ruderskank is back from Ireland. jdh just posted a DSAS.

Man... how bad do I want to just get up and drive to Austin right now. But I caaaaaaain't! I just cannot do it. Boooo!

-- Anonymous, March 14, 2001

Y'all! Go look at our M! They have him all important on the Sports front: http://www.usatoday.com/sports/sfront.htm

-- Anonymous, March 14, 2001

I'm here!

Well, I'm not, actually. I'm off. I'm wearing a hat. But I'm here to chat.

What's this mean (from earlier) "and Mike, he the biggest forum teaser evah."

-- Anonymous, March 14, 2001

I think T thought you were at work, but not talking to us. She no remember Berman on night shift and it was probabry one in morning.

Let the chat begin! I sent in a question!

-- Anonymous, March 14, 2001

I'm back. Madeleine is practically perfect in every way. Just like Mary Poppins.

-- Anonymous, March 14, 2001

Y'all... the Bermanator... I ROVE him, answering my question and showing some love to the Tide.

-- Anonymous, March 14, 2001

I'm back. Al, how did the resume look?

-- Anonymous, March 14, 2001

Oh, and about the forum tease thing, Allison is right. I thought Mike was in this morning, but was all busy writing about basketball.

-- Anonymous, March 14, 2001

Okay, so far, every question I'v easked Mike has been answered. This week, I posted one from (gulp) Smyrna. Now, how could the moderator not allow a question from a Smyrnan (not that I am one)?

-- Anonymous, March 14, 2001

Now would I play y'all like that?

-- Anonymous, March 14, 2001

Mike - the Hawaii thing... are you trying to get a job there, or something? You are loving them, huge. Is it warranted? I haven't been following them, I guess.

-- Anonymous, March 14, 2001

T - I'm checking out the res right now. It looks good to me.

-- Anonymous, March 14, 2001

If I do get a job there, y'all always have a place to stay when you visit the islands.

-- Anonymous, March 14, 2001

I'm back. Madeleine is practically perfect in every way. Just like Mary Poppins.

As if we didn't know. Wait... she may have put a spell on her teacher though, with her wand and all...

-- Anonymous, March 14, 2001

I think she may have. Or Mrs. Wren has just never seen her do Destiny's Child.

Y'all, I bid on a Handspring. Just for fun. Just to see. Not to win, because I can't pay for it.

Guess what? I'm winning. Fuck all. I think I'll get outbid, though. Why am I silly like this?

-- Anonymous, March 14, 2001

AB, you are addicted to the auctions! Has your camera come in yet?

-- Anonymous, March 14, 2001

I'm not! I'm not addicted!

Not yet, but I think today. I faked like it had in my entry though, because I'm craaaaaazy.

-- Anonymous, March 14, 2001

Ab, want to see if you can find an owners manual for a '99 Cabrio?

Mike! I'm four for four! Kick ass. And Smyrna, too.

Allison, thank you so much.

Mad Mad mesmerizes.

-- Anonymous, March 14, 2001

T, if anybody can find it, AB can. She seems to have the power.

Did Mad Mad's teacher say she's the cutest kid in class? Because if not, she needs to recognize. I love it that her name is Mrs. Wren. I think that is a great name for a teacher, for some reason.

-- Anonymous, March 14, 2001

Mike, that was an excellent chat, I thought. Some good questions and, as always, very good answers.

Everybody was all mad at you for some of your picks! I liked the guy in DC saying "Please give me the reasons why Georgetown is certain to beat Arkansas tomorrow!"

-- Anonymous, March 14, 2001

Yeah, I was on a roll today.

AB, I just read your entry. Is there any hope that you and Allison could reconcile? You two just seem so ... well .. perfect together.

-- Anonymous, March 14, 2001

I'm looking, T, but it doesn't look like they have it.

Yes, she did say that all the boys love her. Heh. And she bettah recognize. She actually did--she said she's "precious." And she is, she is! Good, good Mad Madeleine.

-- Anonymous, March 14, 2001

I tried to make up with her, Mike, but she hasn't said yet whether we can get back together. I've been crying all day long.

-- Anonymous, March 14, 2001

Mayn, I don't know. AB was crazy mad. That description of her meeting stee was DEAD ON. I loved that shit.

I don't stee knows too many southerners. He was a afraid. Mr. LA Hotshot Smartypants is no match for me and AB as a combo... of course... now that we're split up... I guess those days are ovah... *sniff*

-- Anonymous, March 14, 2001

Allison? I know you have enough love in you for both the MOC and AB, right? Don't let her suffer like this.

-- Anonymous, March 14, 2001

Come on, now. Y'all know I love my girl. More than the MOC even.

And you know we'll stay togetha for MATH's sake, anyway. And for Master V, who would be super-pissed, I'm sure, if we did not finish our future-grammy-winning song and record it on his four track.

-- Anonymous, March 14, 2001

Allison, I love you representing the Meat of Cheese Tasties.

I'm currently representing Southern Living in the dinner party forum. Mike - scrnwrt is the girl who is all about the NCAA.

AB, thanks for looking. They have the manual at the VW dealership in Stone Mountain, but y'all. Driving from Smyrna to Stone Mountain, during rush hour? That is no small feat.

-- Anonymous, March 14, 2001

Yeah, if we're gonna talk white trash snacks, the Mrs. Lowe Knows column in The Birminghamster certainly has to be represented. Because it is cla-ZY.

-- Anonymous, March 14, 2001

I dunno. I have an irrational prejudice against girls without vowels.

-- Anonymous, March 14, 2001

There's nothing white trash about phyllo dough. That stuff is probably the most high-maintenance pastry around.

(Unless, that is, you spray it with Pam instead of basting it with melted butter.)

-- Anonymous, March 14, 2001

"I dunno. I have an irrational prejudice against girls without vowels."

So, take her to the Wheel of Fortune on y'all's first date and buy her a few.

-- Anonymous, March 14, 2001

That's why she says you have to really like the person to make those for them.

When I read that she named them the Meat of Cheese Tasties... I nearly died. She ain't nevah even MET the MOC. I haven't told him about it yet. He will laugh... I hope.

She actually might meet him at the end of this month. She's coming out here with her crazy friend Sharon "The Funky Chicken" Golden to party down in Dallas and check out the sights in San Antone, because she's never been there.

I won't be able to hang out with her much at all, and they're going to S.A. in the middle of the week, so I can't go. So... Chris might have to meet her without me, which would be QUITE a test.

-- Anonymous, March 14, 2001

But she says she hates Maryland. And I have really bad luck dating people with those kind of obvious mental deficiencies.

-- Anonymous, March 14, 2001

Whoa, M... is consonant girl a new Internet Lovah of yours? Because... I just can't be having that...

-- Anonymous, March 14, 2001

Ooh - that would be interesting. And nerve-wracking for you.

-- Anonymous, March 14, 2001

No, No, No. T just mentioned she wrote on the NCAAs.

I should write her and say the reason Utah didn't make it is because they suck.

-- Anonymous, March 14, 2001

Absolutely. No Maryland hating goes unpunished, yo. Do it.

-- Anonymous, March 14, 2001

But that wouldn't be very nice.

-- Anonymous, March 14, 2001

See, that would be funny as hell. You could also help her see the light on Maryland.

Are they going all the way in your bracket? Chris has them beating Duke in the finals, but I think he's all bitter.

-- Anonymous, March 14, 2001

I hope they DO beat Duke... and I hope the cameras pan Duke's bench and they are crying like little children...

-- Anonymous, March 14, 2001

My official picks are here:

http://www.usatoday.com/sports/basketba/marchmania/2001mens/stories /2001-03-14-berman-picks.htm

I just can't jinx them.

-- Anonymous, March 14, 2001

Allison - my nerve-wracking comment was in regard to the MOC meeting Miz Lowe sans Miss Lowe.

-- Anonymous, March 14, 2001

Okay, how do I love that on Sara Astruc's page, she links to the 3WA etiquette thread by saying, "You could probably squeeze an entry of your own out of this thread!"

-- Anonymous, March 14, 2001

That would be more than nerve-wracking. MOC would probably lose what is left of his hair. Which would be fine with me, because it's too long and looks awful.

Speaking of MOC, Eric just called me. They picked Hannah up and went to the Salt Lick for lunch. Best bbq evah ('cept for Fat Matt's). Much fun going on in A-town.

-- Anonymous, March 14, 2001

I convinced Chris that on Friday, we must take Nicole and James (the brother-in-law) to Fat Matt's for lunch.

This weekend should be interesting, to say the least. I'm preparing the any surly comments that James will have about our 19-inch TV and the lack of cable.

-- Anonymous, March 14, 2001

Omar and I are having a contest to see who can have the last e-mail word. He's winning.

He keeps writing, saying, "Okay. You win." But see, that means HE wins! Tricky.

Y'all, I haven't done my brackets. Mike, why is Gonzaga not on there? And do I still have time?

-- Anonymous, March 14, 2001

Omar is the bomb.

Are any of you doing the squishy NCAA pool?

-- Anonymous, March 14, 2001

Be back in a minute. I think I'll go update.

-- Anonymous, March 14, 2001

I'll probably do the Squishy pool in a sec.

-- Anonymous, March 14, 2001

Damn, you update fast. It takes me forever.

-- Anonymous, March 14, 2001

Wow, Mike, you think that Ga Tech will be out with their first game? I didn't think they'd make it too far, but I figured they'd go farther than that.

Hmm.

-- Anonymous, March 14, 2001

St. Joseph's is very good. But honestly, I didn't spend a ton of time analyzing that game because I think whoever wins it will lose to Stanford anyway.

-- Anonymous, March 14, 2001

Ah. That makes sense, then, about Stanford.

-- Anonymous, March 14, 2001

BTW, AB, in honor of your friend Jen and the whole plagiarism thing, I redid my naming convention for my journal entries. From now on, the page titles will be "Or, Why basketball rules" (for example), instead of "In which I argue that basketball rules")

-- Anonymous, March 14, 2001

Aw, Mike, that was nice, but completely unnecessary. I liked your "in which" thing. I think I might have used it today in my own entry. We'll just take it over and use it right up.

-- Anonymous, March 14, 2001

I'm out, babies. I think the fevah's got me again. Say some **prayers** for me, okay?

See y'all in the mo'nin'.

-- Anonymous, March 14, 2001

Yeah, but I like the "Or" thing too, so no problema.

-- Anonymous, March 14, 2001

AB. Tylenol Flu. Buy it. Live it. Love it.

-- Anonymous, March 14, 2001

Shite, y'all. I can't finish this update. I want to write about "miserable love" and it's just not coming.

I've been working on it for weeks. What should I write instead? I don't really want to write about sxsw, because I probably will next week, but I guess I could.

-- Anonymous, March 14, 2001

"dear sleep,

i got lots of you but what was up with the death dreams again? three nights in a row, yo. that ain't right. you're making me paranoid. now i have to call evie to make sure she's ok.

wanna be dreamless,

jess"

Y'all, I just BURST out laughing when I read that. I couldn't help myself. She IS the Angel of DEATH.

-- Anonymous, March 14, 2001

She's just a nut.

-- Anonymous, March 14, 2001

I just had to represent... am I evil?

-- Anonymous, March 14, 2001

Nah. She won't get the reference.

-- Anonymous, March 14, 2001

Nah, that, and it's funny as hell. And if MATH is amused, does anything else matter?

I'm out, y'all. See you bright and early. Wish me luck with Newt (I guess).

-- Anonymous, March 14, 2001

I just talked to Hannah, again. They are having fun, it sounds like.

Tonight, worlds will collide and she will be in the middle of pam's crowd and Eric's crowd. Will everyone survive? We'll have to tune in tomorrow, I guess.

-- Anonymous, March 14, 2001

I thought pamie was leaving tomorrow.

I'm oot, y'all. Back tomorrow at 10 for some serious hoopage.

-- Anonymous, March 14, 2001

She is leaving tomorrow - but tonight, she and Eric and their respective crews will be in the same place.

Oot as well. On the morrow, babies.

-- Anonymous, March 14, 2001