'Til Tuesday...

-- Anonymous, March 27, 2001

Answers

I didn't update. Sorry. I suck.

Off today, but I'll probably be in for a couple of hours to write something. And to update, of course. If Meloonsa's linking to me, I gots to be stepping up the pace.

-- Anonymous, March 27, 2001

I couldn't update because I couldnt' log on. Old houses. Old phone lines. HATE.

Al - it's really easy to switch the IP you're blocking. I don't have it blocking my work one. I try my hardest to stay away from my page when I'm here.

-- Anonymous, March 27, 2001

I didn't update yesterday.

Oh, lord, y'all. At five this morning, I awoke to terrible, awful pain in my upper back. By seven, it spread from one shoulder blade to another. Poor Chris had to help me out of the bed this morning. Thank god I saved the pain drugs from the surgery.

-- Anonymous, March 27, 2001

What do you think is wrong? Yikes.

M - I've gotten several hits from bermanation.com - both from the MATH entry and from your links page. Is it you?

-- Anonymous, March 27, 2001

Okay, y'all know I love Disney, right? Like, I adore it. But see, does there have to be a thread about honeymooning there?

And Pam really is Miss Cleo. I wouldn't believe it if I hadn't experienced it first hand. Of course now all the freaks are like - I have that too! I'm psychic tooooooooooo.

-- Anonymous, March 27, 2001

Morning, MATHletes. I got eaten by the Sims yesterday. Also, by laundry, and groceries. And not updating.

Al, Cher e-mailed me to tell me how much she looooved you, and wants to know when the next Girls Night Out is.

-- Anonymous, March 27, 2001

Where y'all? Why you make AB sad? Here are some topics for discussion:

Has anyone seen Meet the Parents? Man, that's some funny shit.

Also, Vince and I are going to pitch a new Food Network show called...Ghetto Chef. Chris Rock will be Kaga-san, and we were thinking Miss Cleo for Fukui-san. What do y'all think?

-- Anonymous, March 27, 2001

Yo, AB! Do you have MATH Sims?

Ghetto Chef would kick ass, seriously. You'd have to have someone who would go only by the name BabyMamma.

I don't know what is wrong with my back, y'all. It huuuuuuuuurts. Ugh. I have a dr. appointment tomorrow morning.

-- Anonymous, March 27, 2001

Not yet, because I can only deal with one person at a time right now. She's an unemployed bisexual named Helen. Helen is such a bitch. I accidentally killed her roommate in a fire. She was trying to cook breakfast.

T, that used to happen to my back a lot when I was pregnant with Mad Madeleine. That shit DOES hurt. Do you think maybe you have a pinched nerve somewhere?

-- Anonymous, March 27, 2001

I don't think I have a pinched nerve. I do have some nausea, though. Shit. I'll see what the doctor says tomorrow. Crap.

-- Anonymous, March 27, 2001

Aw, girl, I wasn't saying that. You no worry!

-- Anonymous, March 27, 2001

Thanks, AB. Actually, I'm probably nauseous because I took that potent-ass pain pill on an empty stomach. That makes sense.

Maybe I'll start having regular massages. Yeah. And pedicures.

-- Anonymous, March 27, 2001

MATH Sims would make me laugh.

AB - you update? How's your notify list going? I'm thinking about it, but I'm worried no one would sign up and that would make me saaaaad.

-- Anonymous, March 27, 2001

Oh, we're totally having MATH Sims. I just don't want to kill them. I think I can bring them back to life somehow if I do, though.

Jen is doing a guest entry for me. It's silly. It will be up in about 5 minutes.

Yeah, I love the notify list, and only 10 people are on it, but it's still fun to send out those e-mails.

-- Anonymous, March 27, 2001

I put a notify list up to see if anyone would respond, but no one has. I big loosah!

-- Anonymous, March 27, 2001

You did, T? I didn't see it.

Most of the details I get on site meter are just IP addresses. I like it when they tell you domain. IP addresses make me nervous.

-- Anonymous, March 27, 2001

Is there a new survivor this week?

-- Anonymous, March 27, 2001

I think there is.

Okay, y'all, the girl who wants my car is FINALLY coming by today. I really, really hope she buys it.

Now, I'm debating whether I should use the cash from the Golf to pay down the loan on Fancy, or to get eye surgery. Hmm.

-- Anonymous, March 27, 2001

Where's Al?

-- Anonymous, March 27, 2001

Is she moving, maybe? Or packing?

-- Anonymous, March 27, 2001

Excuses.

We move in 3 weeks.

-- Anonymous, March 27, 2001

Blam! I'm in!

-- Anonymous, March 27, 2001

Where are you jags AT?

-- Anonymous, March 27, 2001

Back from lunch. Listening to Mermaid Avenue. All is right.

-- Anonymous, March 27, 2001

I'm back. The girl wants to buy my car. Yay! She's going to call her bank and have her mechanic look at it and hopefully we'll know in the next few days.

-- Anonymous, March 27, 2001

Aw, yeah. Farewell and good journey to the Golf.

I left my Gram Parsons cd in my car... and I parked all far away today... can I get through the afternoon with just Aretha?

-- Anonymous, March 27, 2001

I'm here. Eating a spinach salad. I can't check my stats, y'all! How am I going to spend the rest of the day, if not checking them every five minutes?

-- Anonymous, March 27, 2001

Why can't you? I've become obsessed with sitemeter. It's really not good. Except here's the weird thing - I recognize my work IP and it showed up at 8:30 last night, when it for SURE wasn't me. This worries me a bit. I'm hoping it was Sara.

-- Anonymous, March 27, 2001

Ok, this is timely, because I have a question about sitemeter.

Someone visited my site and I looked at the record of their visit and it says their Visit Entry Page was tomato nation. How could that be? I mean, it doesn't say I have a referral from there, it says that was the entry page, and also the exit page. I checked tomato nation to see if there was even a link to me from there, and there wasn't.

Anyone have any possible explanation? Am I just a stats dumbass? I mean, usually, as you might expect, my entry and exit pages are HYD pages.

-- Anonymous, March 27, 2001

I guess the server must be down. I haven't been able to get into the website all day, dammit.

I'll be back latah.

-- Anonymous, March 27, 2001

See now, Al, that's just weird. I don't know. Do most people come into your index or index2 page?

Mine's about even, but index is more.

-- Anonymous, March 27, 2001

Most people come into the index.

-- Anonymous, March 27, 2001

Shit, shit.

I was talking to Chris about the Braves pre-season openers this weekend, and that they're playing the Orioles this Saturday afternoon, and he was all, "oh, we should go." And so we decided to go and I went ahead and got tickets and then I remembered (because Chris didn't) that he has that rotisserie draft thing on Saturday afternoon. Hopefully my friend Kristie can go. I'm going, regardless. It's going to be 74 and sunny on Saturday. Baseball weather, baby. Plus, you can bring coolers to Turner Field.

-- Anonymous, March 27, 2001

Shite. 74 and Sunny? I have GOT to get out of the midwest.

-- Anonymous, March 27, 2001

Well, duh. I could have told you that for free.

-- Anonymous, March 27, 2001

Blah.

This day is draaaaaging.

-- Anonymous, March 27, 2001

You would be much happier if you'd go design your own engagement ring at www.adiamondisforever.com. You can make tacky ones with gold bands and everything. It's fun. Here's a good one: a heart-shaped stone on a gold band with pear side stones. Ugliest thing ever.

-- Anonymous, March 27, 2001

Y'all? I slept until 1:30. That is poor.

Hannah - if the exit page (does sitemeter give you that info) is usatoday.com, it's probably me. If not, it probably isn't.

-- Anonymous, March 27, 2001

Aw, Mike Berman. 1:30? You must have been tired.

-- Anonymous, March 27, 2001

I'm all about erasing the sleep debt. But it must be a lot worse than I thought, since usually I can't sleep past noon even if I go to bed at 9 a.m.

-- Anonymous, March 27, 2001

But, you go to Minneapolis in two days!

Go TERPS!

I keep getting these emails from Chris and the only thing they say is "Go TERPS!" He's a little excited.

-- Anonymous, March 27, 2001

Everyone here is on Cloud Nine. Really. It's amazing the difference something like a basketball team can have on everyone's mood.

-- Anonymous, March 27, 2001

damn, I wanted to link y'all to my ring, but it won't work.

-- Anonymous, March 27, 2001

See, the fact that you can email not only the ring, but the salary calculator, too, cracks my ass up. Like I would email Chris and sya, "Hey, baby, this is how much you should spend:"

Chris maintains that the salary calculator is a crock of shit.

Actually, we talked about eloping this weekend, only because my dad promised cach money if we eloped. Chris even did a special Elopement Dance. However, there will be no eloping.

-- Anonymous, March 27, 2001

What does the Elopement Dance look like?

-- Anonymous, March 27, 2001

It involves some fancy footwork, I tell you what.

Actually, it looks like that "Keeping it Casual" dance that I posted last week.

-- Anonymous, March 27, 2001

I'd like to do the Small Wedding In Birmingham Dance. I've been practicing it for 28 years.

-- Anonymous, March 27, 2001

I cracked up at Jen's guest entry.

Look at An Bei, throwing dollahs around.

-- Anonymous, March 27, 2001

Because I'm evil:

Dear BigMatt,

What's a "messican"?

Inquiringly,

T

-- Anonymous, March 27, 2001

I'm back. Oh my God, y'all. If you could see what the MATH house did today, you'd die.

I have GOT to figure out how to post the screenshots here.

Hannah got abducted by aliens, and Mike made a potion that turned him invisible!

-- Anonymous, March 27, 2001

Damn. If I could do that, I'd spend a lot more time in the kitchen cooking up that sort of thing.

-- Anonymous, March 27, 2001

Well, we all know what Mike's doing now.

AB - you've got to get me back. I don't wanna get probed.

T - you are evil, and I love it.

-- Anonymous, March 27, 2001

Unfortunately, H, you died in a fire that Allison started, but I plead with the Grim Reaper, and he let you come back as a zombie. I think that's why you got abducted.

Teri sleeps all day.

-- Anonymous, March 27, 2001

Man, Teri. You so lazy!

And Allison's daddy must not have told her not to play with matches.

-- Anonymous, March 27, 2001

Oh, great. Allison kills me and Teri just sleeps through it.

Ab - are you in the house?

-- Anonymous, March 27, 2001

I sleep all day? Well, I'm lame. Do I have cool clothes, at least.

I bet that if you posted the screenshots to a random page at annachao.com, we could go look at them.

-- Anonymous, March 27, 2001

Yeah, we're all there. Our house is the coolest on the block. Teri did start crying when you got abducted, though, H. She also just got a job as a security guard.

Yes! I'll post them there. Hold for a few minutes.

-- Anonymous, March 27, 2001

Does she get to carry a gun?

-- Anonymous, March 27, 2001

I'm a security guard? I hope I get to pack heat, at least. Ooh! Maybe I can be like Suzanne Sommers in "She's The Sheriff!"

-- Anonymous, March 27, 2001

oh, that's probably why she sleeps all day. She tired from long night of eating donuts. Mayn! I can't believe I'm the undead.

-- Anonymous, March 27, 2001

hey berman, are you updating?

-- Anonymous, March 27, 2001

You're still super cute, Han. You're just a little green.

I can't get the photos to upload! Damn. I'll work on it.

-- Anonymous, March 27, 2001

Oops. Sorry, H. I once did start a little fire in a space heater in our garage on Ashland Drive. Nothing happened, but I've been afraid of them ever since. How did the Sims know?

-- Anonymous, March 27, 2001

That's me - hanging at the Krispy Kreme on Ponce. Aw yeah.

-- Anonymous, March 27, 2001

Oh, they know, Al. This was not your first fire, either. You're not allowed to cook anymore. You can only order pizza.

-- Anonymous, March 27, 2001

I'm probably going to cheat and update tomorrow morning with two entries. I've got to jet in a second, and this computer's FTP is whacked anyway.

-- Anonymous, March 27, 2001

That's OK Allison. I'll let you have some of my invisibility potion, and you can cook incognito as long as I'm somewhere far away from the flames.

-- Anonymous, March 27, 2001

I'm the Firestartah! Hooray! I love it. Now, you know I like to cook, so that's sad, but mmmm... pizza...

-- Anonymous, March 27, 2001

Sweet. See? Berman has my back. He's not afraid of a little fire.

-- Anonymous, March 27, 2001

I HOPE I'll be able to update tonight. And I'll probably put up yesterday's and today's. Even though I havent' written anything I can post today.

-- Anonymous, March 27, 2001

Poor Hannah.

I like Pizza. I hope I don't get all fat from the donuts.

-- Anonymous, March 27, 2001

My thing is that the column I'm writing for tomorrow and my entry for yesterday/today are on the same topic (Maryland, obviously), so I need to make sure there's something making one an entry and one an unbiased column.

-- Anonymous, March 27, 2001

Well, "unbiased" might be too much to hope for. Slightly biased could be the best I can do.

-- Anonymous, March 27, 2001

All right, I'm out. I'm in tomorrow, 10-6(!), and then leave Thursday for Minnesota. Any requests for Mary Tyler Moore memorobilia, just let me know.

How pissed is PigFatt at jdh for actually answering T's question?

-- Anonymous, March 27, 2001

I'm out, y'all. Too much pain. I updated, though.

-- Anonymous, March 27, 2001

I guess they don't know "messican" is kind of racial slur. They ARE dumb, after all. I'm going home now. Look for an update. (Hopefully!!)

-- Anonymous, March 27, 2001

Check out MATH, y'all.

-- Anonymous, March 27, 2001

You know, it is a racial slur, but to say it is more of a slur against backwoods southerners who pronounce it "messican."

-- Anonymous, March 27, 2001

Well, shit. Here:

www.annachao.com/sims.htm

-- Anonymous, March 27, 2001

Oh... God dammit... funniest thing ever. Why does Mike wear his hat and smoke his pipe in the tub? Check me out telling my skiing story in the hottub, and boring y'all to death. What does that little symbol of two people holding hands mean?

-- Anonymous, March 27, 2001

I don't know! He does it even when he's eating, too.

The people holding hands symbol: when there's a + by it, they like what you're saying. When there's a minus sign by it, they don't. Like when you tried to give Teri a back rub and she pushed you away, you got a minus sign.

-- Anonymous, March 27, 2001

Why does T have to be hating on my backrubs? They are world class!

-- Anonymous, March 27, 2001

Oh my god. Tears. I'm green! Mike and I went swimming! I love how AB's outfit is a tee and jean shorts.

I was able to update. Yay!

-- Anonymous, March 27, 2001

Hannah, I really like the title. I especially liked the story of the old man in the airport. Too bad. Coulda been your sugar daddy right there.

-- Anonymous, March 27, 2001

He said a lot more stuff, but I was so winded and weirded out I've blocked most of it.

-- Anonymous, March 27, 2001