I've been getting bored with all the political discussion here of late, so I've been pondering. (Dangerous, I know.) The Democrats and Republicans are BORING. Yesterday's news. Old Stuff.

We need some new political parties. I offer these for starters off the top of my head:

1. The CapnFun Party - Demolish the White House and replace it with a giant Tiki Hut, complete with a bank of jacuzzis along the back wall. Barbeque in the back yard every night. Pearl Jam would rewrite the national anthem.

2. THE CPR PARTY - DON'T PISS THIS PREZ OFF, 'CUZ HIS FINGER'S ON THE BUTTON ... CHILE.

3. The Cherri Party - it would be perfectly legal to kill anyone named Bush. (Special dispensation: the people who make the baked beans are exempt. Maybe. First we need to check their lineage. After all, the dog knows the recipe; just save HIM.)

4. The Doc Paulie Party - it would be legal to kill anyone with a meme.

5. The Patricia Party - it would be legal to kill Flint.

6. The Flint Party - as Flint dies, he offers to reword the death threat (Patricia didn't do it properly).

7. The al-d Party - IT WOULD =be =RELIGIOUS! FALLEN MaN! other thaN that, =I= can't **say! DEiTeR would be Secretary of State in perpetuity.

8. The Carlos party - Short inauguration speech. Maybe three or four words. Good, but short.

9. The Z Party - membership would be predicated on knowing absolutely everyone who's ever done anything, from Einstein to the little smelly bag lady who collects aluminum cans for a living. The flag would be changed to *<))).

10. The Greenspun Party - would never get anything accomplished because the members would constantly be online arguing about anything and everything that mattered for nothing.

-- Anonymous, April 06, 2001

Answers

ROTFLMAO....I am SOOOOOOOOO glad I wasn't drinking the coffee at the time of reading this....(where IS NickO these days?!?! I miss him.)

But I like Flint. He just aggravates the hell out of me.

I wanna join the CapnFun Party.

(Maybe DEiTeR for Prez; yeah, that would work.)

-- Anonymous, April 06, 2001

I can't believe I forgot ...

The Poole Party - a bunch of confused ultra-Conservative Democrats. Normally an oxymoron, but somehow, the Pooles make it work. No one knows how -- in fact, no one knows what the party platform actually says because it's 3,000,000 pages long. It cannot be read by a mortal within a normal human lifespan.

-- Anonymous, April 06, 2001

I've found I agree with Patricia whenever she thinks first and writes second. Sadly, politics tends to prevent this in Patricia as with many people. Remember when they took a poll on the O.J. verdict (which we'd all watched in court for a whole year)? TWO percent of whites agreed with the verdict, and 93% of blacks agreed with it. And *everyone* had all the "facts in the case".

Now, which fact was the only one that really counted? Hint: it had *nothing* to do with the murder case itself. Patricia views the Bush administration the way blacks viewed the O.J. case -- with a bias so powerful that facts are utterly irrelevant.

So I admit, I like to decide *whether* a policy is stupid before I talk about *why* it's stupid. Patricia continues to skip that first step, apparently regarding it as obvious and unnecessary. And then claims anyone who does NOT skip that first step is biased!

-- Anonymous, April 06, 2001

I like it.

-- Anonymous, April 07, 2001

Even on a funny thread he can't stuff a sock in it. Nice going, Flint.

-- Anonymous, April 07, 2001

NOTICE: The Flint Who Party has a new agenda because of the unique nature of the guest of the day.

The Doctors can't decide whether the carbon unit formerly known as Flint is alive or dead. There are occasional physical symptons indicating life but no discernable brain waves.

After other specialists are called in, the Doctors announce that the unit can't be called alive or dead and order the body to be placed on the top of a nearby hospital fence in sunlight. A team of engineers are ordered to place the suspended state thing in exact balance such that they will be able to detect which side of the fence it falls when they know which way the wind blows.

-- Anonymous, April 07, 2001

Hot diggity-dog!!!

Me own Party? Giant Tiki hut? I love it!!!

We don't have to tear the Whitehouse down though,we'll just build the Tiki hut in front of it,twice as big,then we'll have a nice little guest house out back.

I think though,the National Anthem should be done by Jimmy Buffett,it just kinda fits with the motif.Or we could just adapt Margaritaville as our national anthem?

The United States of Fun:Where it's allways happy hour somewhere : )_

-- Anonymous, April 07, 2001

Good one Poole:

It did make me realize that I have led a pretty interesting, if not totally productive, life. I have actually spent time with all of the people that I have mentioned and even more. Happens when you are forced to spend time in places like Harvard, MIT and Stanford, let alone other places.

Would you like to know about the weekend of meetings that I attended at the Kennedy compound on the Cape? It was with a lot of venture capitalists; no Kennedys in sight.

This hasn't been a bad year. Two patents approved and immediately sucked-up by companies; to be in production in the next few years. I am getting tired of all of the travel. I was gone 25 weeks last year. My dog still gives me the stranger "look".

Best Wishes,,,,

Z

-- Anonymous, April 07, 2001

Must be fun Z. Taking a break while havin fun would be dumb.

-- Anonymous, April 07, 2001

That's why Z should join the Capnfun party,it's fun all the time and hey,I know all of'em too,but I'm not so enamoured*<)))))_.

-- Anonymous, April 07, 2001