Black Boxes ----------- The National Transportation Safety Board recently divulged they had covertly funded a project with the U.S. auto maker for the past five years, whereby the auto makers were installing black boxes in four- wheel drive pick-up trucks in an effort to determine, in fatal accidents, the circumstances in the last 15 seconds before the crash. They were surprised to find in 49 of the 50 states the last words of drivers in 61.2 percent of fatal crashes were, "Oh, S---!" Only the state of Alabama was different, where 89.3 percent of the final words were, "Hey Y'all, hold my beer and watch this!"

- Sorry Alabama - we will pick on another State next time.

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-- Anonymous, April 11, 2001

Answers

Not that you care or anything, but the first time I heard that joke (a couple of years ago), it was Texas.

:-)

-- Anonymous, April 11, 2001

Then there were the poor kids from Arkansas who drowned, riding in the back of a pickup that slipped off a bridge into the river.

They couldn't get the tailgate down to get out. :)

-- Anonymous, April 11, 2001

Well, as long as we're doing "geography", my sister-in-law sent this one to me. While I don't necessarily agree with ALL of them, it doesn't make them any less *true*.

Except the Guiliani thing; no way, no how.

You know you're from NY when: 1. You live in New Yawk...not New York
2. Manhattan is simply "The City"
3. You know in your heart that the construction on the Long Island Expressway will never be finished
4. No matter what you do, there's always a guy in your EZ-pass lane that doesn't have one
5. Yankee Stadium is just "The Stadium", and Shea Stadium is "Shea"
6. You know that you have to use whatever means necessary to avoid the A train after 8pm
7. You have gone the wrong way on the Subway at least once
8. You have fallen asleep and missed your stop
9. There's no way of knowing how long it takes to take the bus....anywhere
10. You can't park in midtown...impossible!
11. You use the phrase "Ugh, tourists!" many times
12. Staten Island is nothing but a garbage dump and a route to New Jersey as far you're concerned
13. If there's no traffic on the George Washington, then you're on the wrong bridge
14. You know deep down that Queens Center really is a bad mall
15. The only decision you have to make in the summer that means anything is Rockaway or Jones?
16. Handball is a sport
17. The only things in the Bronx are a Zoo and the Yankees
18. If you root for The Braves, The Indians, or the Red Sox- do yourself a favor and don't let anyone know about it
19. You live in Manhattan...therefore you don't own a car.
20. You remember where you were when The Twin Towers were bombed
21. "Hanging out" is a time consuming weekend activity
22. You know a 12 year old who smokes
23. The bigger your winter jacket, the better it looks
24. When it snows, the world stops turning
25. Westchester is considered "Upstate"
26. As far as you're concerned, the state of New York is the 5 boroughs, baby
27. Latrell Spreewell is a role model
28. A slice of pizza is dinner at least once a week
30. Sometimes you forget that Staten Island is part of New York
31. You tried to stay out of the bad neighborhoods until you realized every neighborhood is bad
32. The longer you've lived in New York, the less of a chance that you've actually gone to see the Statue of Liberty
33. If you work in the city, seeing a celebrity on your lunch hour is no big deal
34. You think Guiliani would be a great president
35. The middle finger is a form of communication
36. "Mad" is an adverb
37. Yearly rituals include watching the lighting of the tree and the Yankee parade


-- Anonymous, April 11, 2001

38. You are convinced that some potholes on the BQE have been there since it was built.

-- Anonymous, April 13, 2001