Finally.

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

Answers

Why does greenspun gots to trip like that?

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

I just fixed a layout problem in AB's submission, and reloaded the survivor page. Check it now, H, and see if it's different.

I looked at it from the iBook last night, and it seemed all right. I hate that.

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

Now it stops before Laura's. It just says LAURA and then nothin'.

Chris' I rooooove.

Mayn, mine suck.

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

No, they don't! They're all good.

I thought the random readers (all 3 or 4 of them) did particularly well.

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

Allison, that's great. I love it. Everything looks fine to me - the on'y thing that's off is the R in Omar's name. I thought that maybe it was a super-secret link, but it's not. It's just terribyhappy.com.

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

Do any of y'all have big weekend plans? We're going to Agnes Scott's new planetarium tonight. They're having an open bar, and I'm resourceful like that.

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

Y'all. Men. I swear.

The Texan keeps asking me to do stuff. And he's being so affectionate. Can they just smell it when you're no longer interested?

Lord.

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

I fixed Omar's link.

I'm going to San Antone tonight. I fly out at like, 8:45. That sucks. I hate to get in so late.

We're going to celebrate Chris' graduation. He took his last test last night and now he is totally done. He left me the following message when he got home: "Al. Hey, baby. I'm done. I took my test. I got some beer, and some potato chips, and the only thing that would make it complete is if you'd give me a call."

He's a simple man, the Meat of Cheese...

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

How can you not just love that, Al?

Oh wait - you do.

That's so great. I can't wait for y'all to get to Atlanta. Have a wonderful weekend celebrating. Did you finish the gift package?

Joh, the Texan is just a jag. Fergit 'im.

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

Ah, the MOC. When's his official graduation? Like, the ceremony?

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

He's a jag if you want to date him, but as a guy, he's okay. Actually, Al, I think those were Trejo's exact words about him.

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

The ceremony is tomorrow.

You know, regarding the Texan - that is exactly what Chris did to me the minute I decided I was through with him. Miraculously, the jag phase ended and hope dawned anew. Whatev, Numbah 3! I couldn't have been less interested, at that point. I cold shouldered him nearly to death.

And, now look. Who knew? I'm just saying, don't count the Texan completely out.

T, I'm giving him the gift package on Mem Day for the anniversary. I have not received the Chin-Feng card yet, so I'll include it then. That's going to be one hell of a gift, if I can also get the Iron Chef book and a couple of other things.

(side note: we have located Chin-Feng. He plays for the Vero Beach Dodgers now, Vero Beach being about two hours away from Chris' parents house in FL.)

This leaves me with a certain dilemma. I still haven't gotten the MOC anything for graduation. I know! I'm a horrible girlfriend! I just can't decide what to get him. There's a Barnes & Noble right by my office, so I could go there, or I could go to the mall on my way home and go to Mont Blanc and really spring for something... but I don't know. I could do both...

Y'all say. I, obviously, have to do it today.

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

But see - you and Chris had something much more substantial than the Texan and I did before commencement of the jag phase. Patrick's a nice boy, and he's fun to hang out with. But I do not want to date him.

Go to Barnes. Graduation is always the book giving event.

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

I agree. Is the MOC a splurge kind of guy, or would he appreciatte a book-type gift more?

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

Uh, well, I wouldn't call it substantial. Basically, we were the world's best double date couple. We were friends that hit the hay every few weeks.

Eric was waxing all fond of us at the baseball game when we were in LA. Chris went to the bathroom and Eric goes "I'm so glad y'all are together." And I said "You know we're going to like, LIVE together, right?" And he's all happy about it and I said "You remember there was a time in there that we didn't even LIKE each other?"

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

He'd appreciate anything. Whatever I do, he's going to say I overdid it. The MOC is your classic Charlie Brown - always surprised someone is being nice to him.

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

Well, Eric is completely in love with the MOC being in love. Sometimes out of nowhere he'll talk about how happy he is for y'all. It's sweet.

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

Oh, and the fact that y'all hit the hay makes it more substantial as the Texan and I never even made it to the barn.

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

Well, that is something for which you should be thankful.

It's funny, because when Chris and I first started dating Eric was all about giving me what he thought were subtle hints not to get my hopes up. "It's good that you guys both want to just have fun and take it easy..."

I was like "Oh, absolutely."

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

Boys. Lord.

I am veeeeery thankful.

Yay! Someone answered my stupid questions. Okay, it was the Other Hannah, but still.

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

And now I think he wants us to get married. I think he talked to Chris about it in LA.

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

Wait - I didn't realize you wanted us to answer them.

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

Who knows what that boy wants.

Did I not make it clear that I wanted you to answer them? I put pretty lame ones up, actually, but some of them are beeeyoutiful.

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

No, you did, I'm just retarded.

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

Fool.

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

Pity me.

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

Teri - check the Vegas flights again because mine came down.

I keep having these fantasies where I will all this money and I have to go to a travel agent to book all these flights and it's fabulous.

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

Hee.

By the way, people. I cleaned up my whole apartment last night. And did laundry.

Well, there's still a ton of junk mail to sort through, but the rest of the place looks nice.

OK. The Iron Chef book is already out. I'm so damn tempted to get it and give it to him now... No. I'm going to wait. I'll get him a history book.

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

The new trhaslation of Democracy in America is a good one. It's like, $50, but it's good.

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

I someone just found my site by putting "Little Mermaid boner" into Google.

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

Why do you people get the best hits? That is so scary... and funny.

Ok, I'm running to the book sto. Be back.

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

Hey. I'm here. Finally. Did y'all miss me?

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

Of course, Berman, of course.

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

I thought you were on nights this week - glad to see you.

Are you fully recovered?

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

I am indeed.

And I might even update, because I'm all bad like that.

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

Rebel!

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

Of course, I said that yesterday and did no such thing.

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

Y'all, I think I'd rather spend a weekend at the Renaissance Fest than two hours at that "Knight's Tale" movie.

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

When I was in LA that movie was being soooooo heavily advertised, I can only imagine it sucks grande ass.

Al - did the MOC take his wish list down? It was up yesterday.

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

It's there. I looked at it this morning.

Y'all, I have returned from my outing to Barnes and Noble. It was fruitful. Fruitful like the most lucious tree! I got Chris the perfect gift.

And then I went to Whole Foods. I am happy to announce that the boycott is over. They finally had my salad. Of course, now I am eating it and wondering why it the hell I was so crazy for it.

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

Why can't I find it?

What book did you get?

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

ACK! You're making me the L_L, and I just left you hanging on the gift deets?!

Fine.

I got him the Anthology of American Folk Music. It's a six disc set.

History and folk music, y'all. HOW MUCH is the MOC going to love me?

I also got him a travel book called "Georgia Handbook," which includes Atlanta, Savannah and the Blue Ridge Mountains.

I think I might be the best girlfriend in the history of the MOC.

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

Are you searching on CHUFF@utsa.edu?

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

Oh, he'll love you forevah.

The Georgia Handbook is great - I know exactly what you're talking about.

Will his fmaily be there tomorrow?

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

Allison, that's perfect.

Yeah. chuff@utsa.edu. Nada.

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

No, he told them not to come. He really wants to relax this weekend (because, you know, he's SO high-strung all the time... Right.)

Anyway, I think, in lieu of a card, I am going to write him a letter designed like an HYD entry and print it out on some off-white paper.

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

H, I just sent it to you. It's pretty much all REM and History.

Speaking of which, the word "history" can only be said now as either "Christory," or "Huffstory."

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

Al - I think Amazon search is just f'ed up because I searched for eric's and mine and nothing came up either. And I know ours are up.

Is MOC on your favorite people? Can you send me the link?

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

ah, you just did! Freaky.

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

Oh, I like Christory. But then, I'm biased.

See, he must come to Atlanta. REM and all. I can show him where Michael Stipe went to high school.

Ooh - thunder and lightening outside. Good thing Fancy's all secure.

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

I would like to see a picture of Fancy sometime.

Where's Mike? And the absent AB?

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

Just trying to get motivatd to write an entry.

Being as I'm going on a first-date double-date tonight, I think I'm writing about the first time I went on one of those, and the debacle that it was.

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

Oh, I can't wait. Are you going out with the bro and sis-in-law?

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

Whoa! Spill - is this with your SIL's friend?

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

Yeah. That could be odd. We'll see.

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

Allison, you'll just have to come to Atlanta. I'll pick you up from the airport in Fancy, even.

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

T - I'll forgive you your non-Ohio visitin' self if I can come down to New Orleans this summer so we can do fun wedding stuff.

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

Well, duh, of course there will be plenty of fun wedding stuff in New Orleans this summer.

I say that as I go back to the corner to sing the "Have Patience" somg for a few more hours.

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

Berman, I swear, I've had like, a Miss Cleo vision of this date you're going on. It is going to go very well. I'm sure she'll be a good, little, Jewish girl and songbirds will fly overhead in a heart formation.

Or something like that. I feel it will be good.

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

Well I can't afford to fly down a LOT, but maybe once or twice if you know, you help me.

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

By the way, Mike -

I can't look at T & D from my computer at home. I type in the address, and your pages flashes up like the briefest second, and then switches to a 404 message of page not found. Then the adress reads something like this: http://www.bermanation.com/www/css/ or something. I think it has to do with the style sheets.

I don't know why it would work for me here on the PC and not at home. I use Netscape on the Mac, at home.

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

Al - does my page look the same on Mac Netscape? I've never viewed it on Netscape. I've always been too scared.

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

Hmm. Interesting.

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

No, it doesn't. I thought I told you that...

It looks fine, except that the hannahbeth.com image is on the bottom of the page, under your ring links and copyright thing.

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

Bermanation is just fine for me. A PC with IE.

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

H, the index2 and the entries look fine, though. Except that there's a huge space between the end of the entry and the next/previous links at the bottom.

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

Really? That is freaky.

yes, IE is really the way to go peeps. Mike - it's fine with IE on my iBook, Mike.

I think I'll put one of those best viewed at things on my page.

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

I use IE at work and Netscape at home, which means I'm a freak. I don't know why, either. I've just always liked Netscape on the Mac.

I don't think I checked either of your sites on IE at home. I'll do it and let you know.

I'm ready to go to San Antonio... Why can't I just leave now?

Chris has already gone home, I think. During the summer, his office closes at NOON on Fridays. That is just the sort of thing that made me furious when I was a student!

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

I'd be happy if it was next Friday, frankly.

At least you're flying and you dont' have to torture yourself with a 4 hour drive.

So y'all emailed for about 2 months before he came up to see you?

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

Yeah. Sort of.

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

How not sort of?

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

Ugh. I am starving. It stormed, but now it's sunny, so I bet it's humid as hell out there.

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

There was a mini-jag phase in there. About 3 weeks or so.

I swear to you, I didn't think we would meet. All that sweet stuff in that entry for Pam - all that happened in like, the first two weeks. We wrote some nice mail back and forth, but after a month or so, when he had to decide what he was going to do, he chickened out, I guess.

I also think he was seeing someone else at the same time, so that was a factor as well. I believe it was some dumpy girl named Beth, who we ran into once in SA. Now that, my friends, is a good story.

I hate being the Internet Lovah.

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

Isn't it strangly satisfying, though, when the girl is dumpy?

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

Hello. I'm insane. I'm never getting on the Internet again.

The DSL man has been here since 10 this morning, y'all. He just left. Hate. I think the Bad Computer Karma has come to Arlington, and is bedding down in the Chao House for good.

Sadness. I'm going to Fry's now, to buy a new...uh, something.

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

AB, be careful at Fry's. Do not spend Mad's college fund. How's she ever going to enjoy The University of Alabama, if she doesn't have enough money to eat at Dreamland every day?

Mike - LOVED the entry.

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

Mike! I've seen Shear Madness at the Kennedy Center. When I went to the Naval Academy Ring Dance, that was the big Friday night entertainment. Like over half of the audience was Navy guys, so they incorporated that into the show. It was hilarious. Of course the group I was with didn't get there until intermission because we'd had like 18 bottles of wine at dinner.

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

Wait, what? University of Alabama? Huh.

I will not spend her college fund, but I might spend mine. Feh! Screw eating!

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

What's Fry's?

Oh, and for the record, I wish it was the Friday after next.

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

Isn't it strangly satisfying, though, when the girl is dumpy?

Ha! Faaaaaaat. I must tell the story, though I have probably told it to you all before.

We were in Best Buy - I think this was at New Years, during the "lo...mmm" saga - and we were standing at the checkout when I see him sort of freeze in his tracks in a scared way and look across the aisle to some girl.

I glanced up at her while flipping through a magazine and figured she was some girl in one of his classes, or something, because they were making the awkward, "So... how's it going?" chat.

We paid and left and he said "Well THAT was weird!" I asked why, and he said he had dated her for a while.

I responded with "Oh... huh..." and, I guess my silence on the issue caused him to wrongly assume I was uncomfortable and having a low- esteem moment about it, because he said, in a tone very much too big for his britches: "C'mon, Al, there's no reason to be self- conscious."

I am not proud to say that, though it was very unlike me to do so, I actually GUFFAWED right there in the parking lot, even going so far as to lean over and slap my leg, only to come up, catch my breath, and say "Self-conscious?!?! I was being self-RIGHTEOUS."

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

Thanks. It was ridiculous. My friend can literally talk to people who can't even speak English, and he was at a loss with this girl.

Shear Madness is great. T, make Chris take you the next time you're in D.C.

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

Mike, that's so sad. No talking, no hookups for anyone? It's not sad in a pitiful way - it's sad in a "Why didn't that girl talk" way.

Okay, see, this is why I want it to be the Friday after next: Chris and I have been talking about taking a weekend trip to Charleston for like six months now, seriously. Last night, he asks me if we have any plans for Memorial Day weekend, and I say no. He suggests Charleston.

So today, this man, this self-proclaimed procrastinator who won't make hotel reservations for our friends wedding that we've known about for like, six months, made hotel and restaurant reservations for us in about thirty minutes this afternoon.

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

Oh my GOSH, T! How I do love Charleston. Oooo, that will be so nice.

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

Allison, I hadn't heard that story. It's classic.

Chris can't remember the names of the last few girls he dated before we met (There were one-daters). He refers to one as Flounder Head, because her eyes were real far apart, and to one as GiggLor, because she had a really annoying laugh. Oh, and there was the one who he didn't ask out again after she said that she didn't ever watch the news - it was too "sad."

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

I love how you said he had had in-depth conversations with the cafeteria lady.

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

Oh, sure. Both Miss Gracie (Hey, that's what it said on the nametag) and Yoshi.

Miss Gracie would always make you go back and pick up your dessert if you had gotten the square meal and forgotten it.

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

Aw, Miss Gracie. Looking out for you. Now that's what you should write about.

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

Al, neither of us have ever been there. I don't even know where we're staying (it's not a secret - I just forgot to ask) or eating - his friend Kristy is from there so she gave him referrals.

Thankfully, I trust her taste completely, in case this is a Very Special Weekend, rather than just a special weekend.

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

Yes, yes. I see. Well, ahem, I hope you're able to get out and see the city. It is so beautiful.

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

Because I am a big dork, I just Amazoned an illustrated map of the city and aguidebook for Charleston, Hilton Head, and Savannah, because I'll be going to all those places this summer.

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

The MOC has a history of dumpy girls, I'm afraid. At least I'm tall.

By the way... people... he had to talk to his evil Ex, the name- stealer, the other day, and guess what? She got remarried. On the beach. At... wait... DISNEYWORLD.

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

Oh my god, I bet that makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside, in a decidedly self-righteous way.

That's classic. What a ho. What's more, she's a tacky ho. Let us revel in her tacky Disney-ness!

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

I don't know why, but we both laughed like crazy fools when he told me.

I said "I hope she wore a dress that showed off her tattoo!"

It's eeeevil, but whenever I think of her, in my mind, I picture leigha from the forum. I think she's that kind of girl. I've never seen a picture of her, but I'm pretty sure I'm right.

Ew. I know I'm no Princess Di, y'all, but damn. Disneyworld. And I told you she had ugly ass furniture, most of which she thankfully took when she left. But he still has this one chair... it is so awful. Looks like something on clearance at the Room Store from 1987.

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

Where did they meet?

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

Ane more importantly, what is her tattoo of??

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

I don't even know where they met. He told me, but I've forgotten. I think they met when he lived in Charlottesville.

Her tattoo is, reportedly, of a shamrock.

A shamrock on her ass.

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

I know what her tattoo is of!

Oh, Al. First, she gets married in Galveston. And then Disneyworld. HA! Damn the MOC is lucky.

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

He knows it, too.

Man... I don't think I ever want to see a picture of her. However, if Chris and I get married, I'm putting my picture in the Dallas Morning News and paying for it to take up a whole page, just so she'll see it. 'Cause I'm superior like that.

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

I'm trying to write a Mother's Day entry. Are y'all writing one?

Ok, also, my Krazy Ko-Worker is YELLING at someone on the phone. Workplace shooting, imminent.

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

Al - I was thinking about it. Are you going for JoLo specific, or just in general, or your grandmothers?

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

I just updated, but I forgot about mother's day. I'll do that on Monday.

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

I'm writing some about JoLo, some about some other mothers I know, some in general.

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

Teri. Your update. LOVE it. Especially the last line.

I'm a huge starer too. I'm always all whiplashing myself. Melissa calls me on it, constantly.

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

Oh, yay!

I'm glad I can write something that's a little worthwhile.

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

I tried to tell Chris that I was a starer, and he didn't believe me, at first. Now, he's like, "Oh yeah, you do that. A lot."

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

I'm going home, angel pies.

Have great weekends.

And, AB, Happy Mother's Day!

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

Well, guys, I'm out.

Yes, Happy Mother's Day, AB!

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

Thanks, girls! I, uh, updated, too. Sort of.

I made a poll!

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

Can I not vote in the poll due to computer ignorance?

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

Does it not work? Or you mean, like, you don't know about the computers?

You bettah vote, Berman.

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

I mean, I don't know about the computers.

Maybe I'll flip a coin.

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

OK, I voted for the Cube on principle.

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

But I linked to pictures! Which one do you think is prettier, is the question? See? Easy.

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

Cool. That's what Vince likes too.

Principle?

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

The Flower Power iMac? Maybe a little too girly for my taste.

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

But I'm a girl! Man.

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

Vince has to use it too, though!

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

Oh, yeah. Him. He gets a choice, doesn't he?

Hee! I miss you, Berman! Every time I look at the almost-empty bottle of Smirnoff Twisty Vanilla or whatever it's called.

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

Oh, I miss y'all. I wish I were there now.

All right, I'm out. Back tomorrow morning. HATE! Have fun at the Byron Nelson. Tell Tiger he best step it up.

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

I'm going to invite Tiger home with us for Smirnoff. Think he'll come?

Have a good night!

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

If he does, get him to sing backup vocals on one of Allison's songs.

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001