Grace Goat gave birth to two healthy bucks (boy goats, Lon) on Memorial Day. I postponed the announcement to make sure they were going to be ok. They're mostly black and white with some brown. Laura Goat is gently interested in them, but they aren't big enough to play her games yet.

If I have a scanner, how to I convert regular polaroid-type pics into something I can post?

Now we only need four more threads!

-- helen (up@a.late.hour), June 03, 2001

Answers

Congrats to Grace and you, Helen! :-) Can't wait to see the photos of the little goatlings!

-- kritter (kritter@adelphia.net), June 04, 2001.

Helen, glad to hear hear mom and kids are doing fine! Youngins are are so sweet... I hope Grace turns out to be a good mom! Her mild interest is probably due to exhaution!!

-- Aunt Bee (Aunt__Bee@hotmail.com), June 04, 2001.

Congratulations, Helen! I'd love to see a picture too. Most babies of any species are adorable. We've had 3 sets of baby doves this year in a hanging basket on our deck. I've enjoyed watching each of them.

A Kritter sighting! ;-) Hello to you, too, Aunt Bee! I think AB has the correct term: kid. Although I kind of like the sound of goatlings. :-)

-- Gayla (privacy@please.com), June 04, 2001.

Hey, helen.....about those two bucks ya owe me......

----------------------------------------------------------------

-- Lon Frankenstien (evil@twinsR.us), June 05, 2001.

Good for you, Helen!

Beware that LF character though... he's just looking for sources of blood to sell :-D

-- Tricia the Canuck (jayles@telusplanet.net), June 06, 2001.

I am the true goat. Do not anger me my goatlings

-- The GOAT (jamesbond85@hotmail.com), November 28, 2001.

I am the true goat. Do not anger me my goatlings. If I am not paid tribute in feed I will destroy all of you with my cloven hooves. I will spring forth many goatlings from my furry goat like loins of supmtousness to hunt you down and bleat upon you.

-- The GOAT (jamesbond85@hotmail.com), November 28, 2001.

We've been invaded. The aliens are retaliating for all of those stories you guys wrote. LOL

-- Gayla (privacy@please.com), November 28, 2001.

Took a whole 20 seconds of my life to bulk delete it all. /shrug

-- kritter (k@a.n), November 29, 2001.

Thanks Kritter. That was strange.

-- Gayla (privacy@please.com), November 29, 2001.

YOU THINK YOU HAVE BEATEN ME DO YOU?

WELL YOU DON'T KNOW MUCH AND THATS A

FACT!

REVENGE OF THE GOAT! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

-- THE GOAT (ithegoat@hotmail.com), November 29, 2001.

HEY COME ON SAY SOMETHING MY LITTLE GOATLINGS...

-- What Stinks in Here (me@you@him@her@unHolyCreature.YouAre.Com), November 29, 2001.

The Samurai and their Legacy Sun Source. That was the name the proud people of the island of Japan gave themselves. The Japanese characters (of the form used in the late 600’s) were spoken as “Nippon.” When Fujiwara family sent emissaries to China, with them went the new name of the chain of islands. The Chinese, however, spoke these characters as “Jihpen.” Some of the Japanese countrymen were respected for their martial skill. They were known as the Samurai and these stoic warriors would be the source of power in Japan for around 483 years. The true samurai possessed great martial skill and earned high honor for unwaveringly following the Bushido code. For almost as long as these people populated the islands of Hokkaido, Honshu, Shikoku, and Kyushu there existed the bushi. The bushi were fierce warriors who were respected by all for their martial skill. Soon after 500 bc. the population of Japan organized itself into clans. This organization lead to the development of a social structure. With this new system came a class made solely of bushi. Soon after the development of the uji (clans), the Yamato clan was seen as the most powerful of them all. With this new power, the Yamato clan eventually turned their leader into the Emperor. However, the Emperor really possessed very little power. Instead, the generals, prime ministers, nobles and feudal lords governed with the Emperor’s support in order to keep the country unified. In the year 1185, the Kamakura period begins when the Minamoto defeat the rival Taira clan. The new Shogun was Yoritomo who set up a new government so his court wouldn’t fall from power as the pervious ruler, Kiyomori, had. Yoritomo created a system where he seperated himself from the nobility. The separation from the nobles allowed Yoritomo to keep the loyalty of the warriors, whereas previous rulers became detached when living the high life at the Emperor’s court. This detachment allowed for the ones who truly held the warriors support to seize power from their previous masters. Yoritomo saw this flaw in the previous reign of Kiyomori and decided to setup his government in Kamakura to isolate himself from the Emperor’s court in Kyoto. Yoritomo then gave himself the title of Shogun which means “the Emperor’s General.” Yoritomo then picked warriors to rule under him over provinces. These warriors then picked other warriors to administer the great estates. Those who managed the estates were called daimyo and each held the support of many warriors. The bushi who served the daimyos were above the peasants and needed a name to distinguish themselves. Those who served the daimyo where hence forth called “samurai.” The downfall of the samurai began during the Tokugawa shogunate in the 1700s. The shogun at the time was Ieyasu who had his daimyos move their families into Edo(present day’s Tokyo) to keep as hostages. The daimyos also had to live in Edo one out of every two years. This prevented any uprising from the daimyos and created a very strict feudal system. Since all the land in Japan was owned at this point, the samurai were paid cash stipends instead of tracts of land. Since samurai were paid in cash now, they became the primary consumers of Japan. These two million new consumers made the merchants very prosperous even though they were the lowest class of people. Japan’s economy was quickly moving to one based solely on money instead of barter. When Matthew Perry sailed into Edo Bay he delivered Milliard Fillmore’s demands that Japan treat shipwrecked mariners humanely and open all ports to America. The shogun agreed even though the agreement was unequal since Japan was not nearly as advanced as the U.S. after hundreds of years of isolation. This angered the daimyos and samurai, which lead to two uprisings. One was one the island of Kyushu, where the Satsuma family started to form its own navy in order to combat the foreign ships. At the same time, several young samurai at Choshu in western Honshu, formed rifle regiments with samurai and peasants alike. These radicals managed to defeat the larger army sent by the shogun and with the support of the Satsuma, other domains and certain nobles they managed to abolish the shogunate and restore the emperor. With this came the formal end of the samurai; however, the tradition of the

samurai exemplifying what a Japanese citizen should be still stood. The samurai were looked up to by the people for leadership, “Japan would be a nation of noble warriors, all serving the emperor with the old, peculiar notion of loyalty and all the old inflexibility”(Japan 62), and as role models even though they were officially disbanded. The title “Samurai” brought a certain prestige to the family. Samurai were above the peasants and were given many rights the lower classes were denied. Early in the first shogunate, in order to maintain the most strict form of feudalism by rigid separation of the classes, it was perfectly legal for samurai to cut down peasants who broke laws or offended them without a trial or anything but the samurai’s judgment. Up until the latter portion of the Tokugawa shogun, the rank of samurai was hereditary. It was kept hereditary so that there was definite social classes. Peasants weren’t allowed to become samurai in order to make sure somebody sustained the economy. If everyone trained for war instead, the government would have collapsed in a rather short period. The step above samurai was that of lord. This wasn’t entirely hereditary, for every once in a while a family or lord would die and his most trusted samurai would have the chance to assume his position. With the title of samurai remaining hereditary, it allowed for many definite distinctions to be established between the classes. Samurai families were allowed to have a family name. This allowed the heroic deeds of the samurai to be distinguished from others with the same name. This may not seem as a privilege, but the peasants of this time weren’t allowed to have family names. To have a family name denotes someone in the family did something respectable that should be remembered, so peasants couldn’t have family names since they wouldn’t be peasants if they had done some great deed. With the restoration of the emperor to power, the samurai were no more. Everyone who had this title was no longer a samurai. Since all the samurai were gone, it was no longer awarded to people who exemplified great acts of courage and bravery for their nation. The title was killed with the shogun because it was created by the shogun. The rank of samurai denoted one who served as a warrior under a daimyo to accomplish the will of the shogun. Therefore, when the shogun system was abolished, it no longer made sense to have the rank of samurai.

One couldn’t serve under imaginary lords, so with the end of the shogunate came the end of the samurai. When the shogun still reigned supreme in Japan, there was usually no movement between classes. However, every once in a while, some peasant would show amazing courage and valor in times of need. If one was able to thoroughly demonstrate martial skill and bravery to a lord, they would sometimes be awarded the rank of samurai. The only times a peasant had the chance to prove themselves was in periods of internal strife. Never could they prove themselves during external strife because the samurai were too good at protecting their country. However, during the numerous wars between clans, a peasant could do something key for his clan by some quirk of fate. If they were lucky enough to prove themselves to a great lord, the peasant could become a samurai, earning great honor for his family. Ever since there were warriors on the islands of Japan, there was the Bushido code. The samurai would come to live and die by it. It was a strict code that dominated every aspect of the warrior’s life. The code was designed to create the perfect warrior. It wasn’t a formula that told of what form to fight, or give military tactics, but produced thew ideal solider by guiding them through the many trials a true warrior would have to face. While the name “Bushido” directly refers to the samurai, it was present in the bushi of early Japan. The formal Bushido code that was produced in the 17th century was only a refinement of the already present ideas to suit a new type of warrior. The code and the warriors that followed it “created a way of life that was to nourish a nation through its most troubling times, through civil wars, despair and uncertainty”(Bushido 1). For one to live by the Bushido code, they had to have the strongest discipline. The code was so demanding that many samurai could never really fully live up to the Bushido code. The code stresses loyalty to ones lord above all. It was also very important for the samurai to be sympathetic and understanding towards all people. The samurai had to stay true to the code of ethics they lived by. Not only did they have to show loyalty to their master, the samurai had to respect and take care of his parents as well. However, the service of one’s lord came before the responsibilities one had to his parents. The samurai had to show their respect for all people no matter what their status. In Ideals of the Samurai, Hojo Shigetoki stated, “It is truly regrettable that a person will treat a man who is valuable to him well, and a man who is worthless to him poorly. One should have insight into this world of dreams that passes in the twinkling of an eye”(hist 1). The samurai wasn’t only concerned with the study of the martial arts, but had to gain wisdom through other studies as well. The samurai were supposed to have a broaden horizon, which Tsunetomo Yamamoto stated in the Hagakrue. Yamamoto said that, “A person who is said to be proficient at the arts is like a fool. Because of his foolishness in concerning himself with just one thing, he thinks of nothing else and thus becomes proficient. He is a worthless person”(hist 1). The samurai also had to be truthful at al times, for dishonesty brings dishonor. Imagawa Sadayo evinced this in the Ideals of the Samurai that, “One should not be envious of someone who has prospered by unjust deeds. Nor should he disdain someone who has fallen while adhering to the path of righteousness”(hist 1). Also, the samurai had to be respectful of the elderly as well. When following the Bushido code, the samurai needed to be stoic, for emotions would lead to weakness. Life and death had to be of no consequence to the samurai, or he would never be able to truly follow the Bushido Code. Divergence from the Bushido code could lead to severe penalties. While most infractions were rather trivial, if a samurai was to bring major dishonor upon himself he could be punished by death. It was usually up to his lord to decide the punishment; however, if a samurai had to die, he still could regain honor with his last act. The samurai had the privilege of seppuku. Seppuku earned the samurai great honor because of the strength and bravery it took to perform. For one to fully complete seppuku, they had to insert a tanto, dagger around a foot long, into the right side of their stomach. The samurai then needed to bring it all the way across their stomach. Finally came the jumonji or crosswise cut. At this point the samurai had to rotate the dagger and bring it up across their belly to the rib cage. Of course, many who attempted this practice never finished because their head was chopped off before they could finish. Before the samurai would start the ritual, he would pick his closest friend to stand about two feet behind

him. The friend’s job was to behead the samurai at the first sign of pain. Even if one strayed greatly from the Bushido code, the way they execute their punishment could atone for it. For the samurai, even the penalty of death could be turned into something that deserved respect. The samurai had a profound effect on the Japanese culture. After hundreds of years of fierce warriors, the people of Japan revered their great bushi. Every man and boy in Japan wanted to bring great honor upon their house by glorious deeds in battle. The tradition of bravery being greatly respected goes back farther than the samurai themselves, all the way to the begging of the culture. In World War II, the Japanese army, navy and air force were filled with men who felt it was their destiny to glorify their house and country through deeds of great valor. Posters for recruitment went up all over the country featuring giant samurai destroying the allies. The image of the samurai inspired the children to follow in the footsteps of their ancestors and fight for glory. The fact that the samurai were never defeated by an outside force also deeply affected Japanese society. It created a sense that they could defeat any enemy if they exercised great discipline to train hard. Hard work and honor in battle could earn the Japanese a victory. If the samurai under the Kamakura Shogunate could repel the great Mongol force, no victory was out of reach. The samurai’s repulsion of the Mongols two invasions really helped develop a sense of invincibility in the pre-WW II Japanese because of the divine wind. The second and larger Mongol force that tried to invade Japan during 1281 was repelled just like the first invasion. Instead of fighting for only a day like the first battle, the fighting covered fifty days. On the last day of fighting a Typhoon came over the islands and destroyed all of the Mongol ships. With no chance to retreat, the Mongol forces were demoralized. The remaining soldiers were either killed or taken prisoner by the victorious samurai. The Typhoon was then known as the Divine Wind, or Kamikaze. The Japanese took the Kamikaze as proof that they were under divine protection and “cherished it as proof that the gods protected Japan from invaders”(library 82). Like their samurai ancestors, the people of pre-WW II Japan believed they immune to any threat. The Kamikaze not only gave the Japanese a sense of invincibility, but spawned a new breed of solider. One who took the idea of death in battle giving honor to a radical level. They called themselves accordingly, kamikazes. The kamikazes were feared greatly since they welcomed death with open arms. Death seemed to travel with them, “virtually all kamikaze attacks ended in flaming violence and death”(battle 1), spreading to those who the kamikazes managed to get close to. The samurai were incredibly diverse warriors. From region to region the samurai could be incredibly different. There was no style that all samurai had to study. The samurai studied whatever form they liked best. Usually, samurai who fought under the same lord studied the same form in order to train together. By training every day to hone their skills, most samurai came to master their particular form. In order to serve his lord to his full extent, the samurai worked tirelessly to make sure he could protect his lord when the time came. Samurai was a title, not a particular style. That was why so many samurai studied different forms. They weren’t obligated to become proficient in one certain style. In order to be a samurai, one needed not to study a certain form. The only thing the title “samurai” meant was that one served under a daimyo and would fight till the death for his and his lord’s honor. All one needed to be a samurai was martial skill and unfailing loyalty, of course, they also needed to be descendents of a samurai as well. The samurai was to defeat many different enemies because his fighting style was very diverse. The samurai were generally extremely very proficient in a weapon of choice, usually it was the katana. The katana was the greatest weapon of the samurai and used as a symbol of rank. The sword was the most powerful weapon a samurai had and was “believed to benign, even ‘life-giving’, in the hands of an adept who cherished bushi-no-nasake, ‘the warrior’s sense of mercy and benevolence’”(Way 49). However, most samurai could usually use most other weapons with relative skill. The most popular weapons after the katana were: bow, tanto, naginata, halberd, tessen , or long sword. They also sometimes used spears, crossbows, blow guns, throwing knives, nunchaku, gunbei-uchiwa, gunsen, jutte, hachiwari, manrikigusari, staff, bo, sai, tonfa, jo, nichogama, and shakuhachi. This shows how diverse the samurai was. The tessen was very common and also very interesting. It was worn everyday, tucked in the belt and was formal or casual. The tessen was an eight- ribbed, decorative, iron fan. The fan was used for defense and disarming an opponent. However, it was seen as improper to fight someone below you with your sword, so sometimes samurai would enter duels with nothing but their fans. There are tales of fatal blows being struck from the tessen. The tessen came especially popular when the Haitorei was passed. The Haitorei prevented all but high ranking officials from wearing their swords in public. Of course many samurai still carried their blades by their side, they just disguised them. Samurai were also very able with commonplace objects that surrounded them making them never truly unarmed and weapons like the tessen left the samurai “at least one very effective defensive weapon”(Budo 1). Samurai’s wives were also given weapons training just in case the house came under attack while the samurai were gone. One of the most popular weapons was the Kansashi because it was easily concealed. More harmless versions are still popular today even in America. The Kansashi were the long pins, usually about six inches, used to keep a woman’s long hair up. The Kansashi could just as easily pierce someone’s chest or throat. The samurai were also able to fight just as well on horseback. The word “samurai” means a warrior who adhered to the strict code of the Bushido. They served under a lord and were one of the major determinates of who was control of Japan. Whoever held the main support of the samurai could easily take whatever they wanted. The samurai inspired the Japanese people with their bravery, honor, and martial skill. However, the true samurai were also very learned. Their discipline was unparalelled and this was what allowed the samurai to achieve the great honor they did. Even today, the samurai is seen as a person who stayed true to the busido code. I learned about Japan’s ancient history and what it truly meant to be a samurai. In order to properly express what I have learned, I will end with a true story about some samurai. So here is a story that perfectly represents what true samurai were like. It is about a young lord and his one hundred samurai. It’s called The 47 Ronin, ronin is the name for samurai who become master-less for some reason. Literally translated, ronin means wandering wave. Here’s is the story of The 47 Ronin, “Our tale begins in 1701, a time of relative peace during the Tokugawa Shogunate. The Shogun Tsunayoshi lived and ruled from Edo, while the Emperor, who had little political power, lived in Kyoto. To show respect to the Emperor, Tsunayoshi sent gifts and envoys to Kyoto for the New Year's celebrations, and in return, the Emperor sent his own envoys to Edo in March. To receive the Imperial envoys, Tsunayoshi appointed two young daimyos (feudal provincial lords), Naganori Asano-Takuminokami, The Lord of the Castle of Ako in Harima Province, and Munehare Date, Lord of Sendai to act as hosts during the forthcoming visit of a member of the Imperial Court in Kyoto. Because the daimyos were inexperienced in entertaining high born guests, the Shogun appointed an elderly high official named Yoshinaka Kira-Kozukenosuke to assist them. Kira, whom history describes as greedy and conceited, became very angry with Lord Asano for not presenting him with expensive gifts (to show appreciation, respect, etc.) and instead of helping Lord Asano became very abusive and insulting towards him. Kira, determined to get even, used every opportunity to publicly humiliate Asano. After two months of abuse, Asano's tolerance was gone. On March 14, unable to take the insults from Kira anymore, Lord Asano drew his sword (itself a capital offense when done inside Edo Castle) and struck Kira wounding him slightly. For his offense, The Shogun Tsunayoshi ordered Lord Asano to immediately commit seppuku (ritual suicide). Kira, on the other hand, received no punishment; in fact, he became an object of sympathy and was allowed to continue his official duties. The Shogun's failure to have Kira share in the responsibility angered the followers of Asano, who felt that Kira's improper actions were ignored and Asano's punishment too harsh. By law, when a samurai lord committed seppuku, his castle was confiscated by the Shogun, his family was disinherited, and his 321 samurai retainers were ordered to disband, thus becoming ronin or master-less warriors. Asano's samurai were unsure of how to act in the wake of this disaster. Some thought they should refuse to turn over the castle to the Shogun, some thought they should plot revenge and kill Kira, and others thought they should respect the law and surrender peacefully. Oishi Kuranosuke, Asano's Chief Councilor, listened to the varying opinions and finally decided on a plan. He would petition the Shogun to reestablish the House of Asano with Lord Asano's younger brother, Daigaku, as it's head. If that failed the samurai of Lord Asano would refuse to turn over the castle and defend it to the death. In the next few days, as the Shogun's agents were on the road enroute to the Ako, all of the Asano samurai which were opposed to the petition deserted the castle, leaving only 60 loyal samurai behind. Before the shogun's men could reach the castle, Daigaku Asano sent a letter to Oishi, asking him to obey the orders of the Shogun and hand the castle over. Oishi and the 59 other samurai accepted Daigaku's request as binding on them as the word of Lord Asano himself, but before they quit the castle they made plans to avenge their Lord Asano's disgrace by killing Kira, whose un-samurai like character had brought their lord and house to such a tragic end. Only this would restore Asano's rightful honor.

The men split up to conceal their plans from Kira, who naturally suspected that Asano's retainers would try to get revenge against him. Oishi went to Yamashina, a suburb of Kyoto, where he earned a reputation as a drunken gambler, a ruse that successfully deceived the Shogun's police and Kira's many spies. The Shogun, still concerned that the affair might not be ended, ordered the arrest of Daigaku Asano and sentenced him to confinement in the main villa of the Asano family, thus ending any remaining hope that the House of Asano might be reestablished. For nearly two years they waited, disguised as merchants, street vendors and even drunks to get information on Kira and to be close to him should an opportunity arise to storm Kira's mansion. Finally, Kira and his allies finally relaxed their suspicions of Oishi and his men. At a secret meeting, Oishi and the other 59 ronin decided that the time had come to move against Kira. But Oishi would allow only 46 of the men to participate with him in the attempt. He sent the other 13 back home to their families. One by one Oishi and his men infiltrated Edo, and on a snowy winter night of December 14, 1702 the 47 ronin attacked the mansion of Kira while he was having a tea party. The 47 ronin divided into two bands and stormed the mansion from the front and rear gates. In the great battle that followed, the 47 ronin entered into battle against Kira's 61 armed guards. At the end of the 1 1/2 hour battle, Asano's ronin had either subdued or killed all of Kira's men without any losses of their own. After a thorough search, Kira was found hiding in an outhouse. The ronin brought Kira to the courtyard and offered him the same chance their Lord Asano was given to honorably commit seppuku. Kira could not commit seppuku, so the ronin beheaded him. Then, to symbolize the completion of their mission, the 47 returned to Asano's grave at Sengaku-ji Temple and set Kira's head before it, thus declaring their Lord's honor redeemed. Prepared to die for their deed, Oishi sent two delegates to the Magistrate of Edo, informing him of what had been done and telling the official that they would be waiting at the Sengaku-ji Temple, awaiting orders from the Shogun. The Shogun Tsunayoshi, instead of being angry, was deeply impressed with the loyalty demonstrated by the 47 ronin. This made Tsunayoshi decision all the more difficult. Although clearly sympathetic to their heroic act, he was nonetheless faced with a dilemma. Should he spare the 47 ronin in recognition of their great display of bushido and their defense of their Lord Asano's honor, or should they be punished according to the law. If he overlooked their crime for sentimental reasons would that belittle their honor and weaken the samurai code? After 47 days of deliberation, Tsunayoshi ordered that Oishi and 45 of his men were to execute themselves not as criminals but as honored warriors. The youngest of the ronin, who had been sent to Ako with the news of Kira's death was spared from the sentence.

On February 4, 1703, the 46 ronin were divided into four groups and handed over to four different daimyo, who were ordered to supervise and witness their deaths. Oishi and the other 45 ronin all committed seppuku simultaneously, dignifying themselves in their valiant sacrifice. Upon their deaths, the 46 ronin were buried side by side next to their master at Sengaku-ji Temple. Today, the memory of the 47 ronin is celebrated in a play called Chusingura which moves the audience to tears and excitement as it develops the theme of the magnificent sacrifice of the 47 ronin. Additionally, each year thousands of Japanese visit the gravesite of the 46 ronin at Sengaku-ji Temple to pay homage to the honor and loyalty of the 47 ronin and their dedication to the code of bushido”(tale 1). This story shows what it meant to be a true samurai in Ancient Japan.

The Samurai and their Legacy

“The flower of flowers is the cherry blossom- the samurai is the man among men” Zen Proverb

AP American History 19 Nov. 2001

NOW YOU ARE SUBJECTED TO MY WRATH AS WELL AS THE GOAT'S. I FORCE MY HISTORY PAPER UPON YOU HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. THIS IS NOT THE LAST TIME YOU WILL HEAR FROM ME SO BEWARE.

-- Bird Man (Goat'sMAster@sheperd.of thegoats), November 30, 2001.

I 1. M. Jourdain thinks he is nobel. 2. M. Jourdain is a Mamamouchi. 3. Mme Jourdain is angry because they use M. Jourdain II 1. To stop Dorante’s spending III 1. To be the frist to congradulate M. Jourdain 2. He thanks her. No 3. He shows his friends he cares IV 1 They are friends of M. Jourdain 2. He is now a noble as well, so they are friends V 1 Yes, she might not have agreed because it is her father 2 VI 1. 2 3 She knows it is Cleonte 4

I RETURN WITH MY PARTLY FINISHED FRENCH TRANSLATIONS> HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA

-- Bird Man (Goat'sMAster@sheperd.of thegoats), November 30, 2001.

#include #include #include #include #include "apstring

void Assign_zero(?); void Assign_alpha(?); void Alpha0(?); void Alpha1(?); void Alpha2(?); void Alpha3(?); void Assign_omega(?); void Omega0(?); void Omega1(?); void Omega2(?);

ofstream; ifstream;

int main() { int choice=0; do { cout<<"Which assignment do you wish to review:"<>choice; if(choice==1) Assign_zero(?); if(choice==2) { Assign_alpha(?); if(choice2==1) Alpha0(?); if(choice2==2) Alpha1(?); if(choice2==3) Alpha2(?); if(choice2==4) Alpha3(?); } if(choice==3) Assign_omega(?); if(choice2==1) Omega0(?); if(choice2==3) Omega1(?); if(choice2==9) Omega2(?); }while((choice!=1)&&(choice!=2)&&(choice!=3)); }

void Assign_zero(?) { cout<<"1)"<>name>>add_num>>street>>age; optimus.open(homework_sucks); assert(! optimus.fail()); optimus<>name>>add_num>>street>>age; while(name != "done") { optimus<>name>>add_num>>street>>age; } optimus.close(); }

void Assign_alpha(?) { cout<<"Which problem do you wish to check"<>choice2; }

void Alpha0(ifstream& prime) { apstring word; apstring count; prime.open(?); assert(! prime.fail()); prime>>word; count=1; while(!prime.eof()) { prime>>word; count=count++; } prime.close(); cout< void Alpha1(ifstream& prime) { apstring word; apstring word2; prime.open(?); assert(!prime.fail()); prime>>word; prime>>word2; while(!prime.eof()) { if((word2.length())>(word.length())) word=word2; prime>>word2; } cout< void Alpha2(ifstream& prime) { apstring word; int word=0, count=0, total=0; prime.open(?); assert(!prime.fail()); prime>>word; while(!prime.eof()) { count=count+(word.length()); prime>>word; total=total++; } count=count/total; cout< void Alpha3(ifstream& prime) { apstring word; apstring word2; int count=0; cout<<"Enter a word"<>word; prime>>word2; while(!prime.eof()) { if(word2==word) count=count++; prime>>word2; } cout< void Assign_omega(?) { cout<<"Which problem do you wish to check, m' droog"<>choice2; }

void Omega0(?) { cout<<"1)"< void Omega1(?) {

HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE STARING DOWN THE SMOKING BARREL OF THE OLD UNFINISHED COPY OF MY PROGRAM?

-- Bird Man (Goat'sMAster@sheperd.of thegoats), November 30, 2001.

#include #include #include

void Choice(int&); void File_read(ifstream&,apvector&,int,int,int,int,int,int,int&); void Manual_entry (apvector&,int,int,int,int&,int,int,int,int,int&,int); void Display(apvector,int,int,int,int); int ex=0; int ex2=0; int over=0; int tot=0; int accum=0; int accum2; int re=0;

int main() { apvector song_time(50,0); ifstream song_file; int min, sec,slot; min=0; slot=0; sec=0; Choice(ex); if(ex==2) File_read (song_file,song_time,min,sec,slot,ex,over,ex2,accum); else Manual_entry (song_time,slot,ex,over,accum,ex2,re,min,sec,tot,accum2); Display(song_time,sec,min,tot,accum); return 0; }

void Choice(int& ex) { do { cout<<"Enter the number cooresponding to the method of input you wish to use at this"<>ex; if((ex!=1)&&(ex!=2)) ex=0; }while(ex==0); }

void File_read(ifstream& song_file,apvector& song_time,int min,int sec,int slot,int ex,int over,int ex2,int& accum) { // cout<<"I made it"<>slot; accum=accum+1; if(slot==0) ex=1; song_file>>min>>sec; min=min*60; sec=sec+min; tot=tot+sec; song_time[slot]=sec; /* if(slot==21) { do { cout<<"You can only have 20 songs"<>over; if(over==1) { song_time[slot-1]=0; song_time.resize(19); tot=0; for(int j=0;j<=19;j++) tot=tot+song_time[j]; } else if(over==2) { cout<<"Which song would you like to delete"<>slot; tot=0; for(int x=slot;x<=19;x++) { song_time[x]=song_time [x+1]; } song_time[20]=0; song_time.resize(19); for(int t=0;t<=19;t++) tot=tot+song_time[t]; } else { ex2=1; } }while(ex2!=0); } */ }while(ex!=1); }

void Manual_entry(apvector& song_time,int slot,int ex,int over,int& accum,int ex2,int re,int min,int sec,int& tot,int accum2) { cout<<"You can enter up to 20 songs that don't exceed the 74 minute time limit"<>slot; if((slot<0)||(slot>20)) ex=1; }while(ex!=0); if(slot==20) slot=0; ex=0; if((slot!=1)&&(slot!=0)) { if((song_time[slot-1]==0)) { for(int h=1;h<=19;h++) { if(song_time[h]==0) { accum2=slot; slot=h; break; } } } } if(song_time[slot]!=0) { do { cout<<"You already have a song saved for track "<>re; if(re==1) { over=0; re=0; accum=accum-1; } else if(re==2) { over=1; re=0; } else re=1; }while(re!=0); } if(slot==0) ex=1; if(over==0) { cin>>min>>sec; accum=accum+1; min=min*60; sec=sec+min; tot=tot+sec; song_time[slot]=sec; } if(((tot/60)+((tot%60)/100))>74) { cout<<"You can only have 74 minutes"<>re; tot=tot-song_time[re]; cout<<"Enter the length of the song"<>min>>sec; min=min*60; sec=sec+min; tot=tot+sec; song_time[re]=sec; if((min==0)&&(sec==0)) { for(int g=0;g<=19;g++) { if((slot[g]==0)&&(slot[g+1]! =0)) { slot[g]=slot[g+1]; slot[g+1]=0; } } }

} if(slot==21) { do { cout<<"You can only have 20 songs"<>over; if(over==1) { song_time[slot-1]=0; song_time.resize(19); tot=0; for(int a=0;a<=19;a++) tot=tot+song_time[a]; } else if(over==2) { cout<<"Which song would you like to delete"<>slot; for(int x=slot;x<=19;x++) { song_time[x]=song_time [x+1]; } song_time[20]=0; song_time.resize(19); tot=0; for(int k=0;k<=19;k++) tot=tot+song_time[k]; } else { ex2=1; } }while(ex2!=0); } }while(ex!=1); // song_time.resize(accum); }

void Display(apvector song_time,int sec,int min,int tot,int accum) { // cout< cout<<" # Min. Sec"< } // cout<<" 20 "< FEEL THE PAIN OF ANOTHER ONE OF MY PARTLY FINISHED PROGRAMS

-- Bird Man (Goat'sMAster@sheperd.of thegoats), November 30, 2001.

#include #include #include #include

void Assign_zero(int); void Assign_alpha(int&); void Alpha0(ifstream&); void Alpha1(ifstream&); void Alpha2(ifstream&); void Alpha3(ifstream&); void Assign_omega(int&); void Omega0(); void Omega1(ofstream&,ifstream&); void Omega2(ofstream&,ifstream&);

ofstream optimus; ifstream prime; int age; int choice2 =0;

int main() { int choice=0; do { cout<<"Which assignment do you wish to review:"<>choice; if(choice==1) Assign_zero(age); if(choice==2) { Assign_alpha(choice2); if(choice2==1) Alpha0 (prime); if(choice2==2) Alpha1 (prime); if(choice2==3) Alpha2(prime); if(choice2==4) Alpha3(prime); } if(choice==3) { Assign_omega(choice2); if(choice2==1) Omega0(); if(choice2==3) Omega1(optimus,prime); if(choice2==9) Omega2(optimus,prime); } }while((choice!=1)&&(choice!=2)&&(choice!=3)); }

void Assign_zero(int age) { apstring name; int add_num; apstring street; cout<<"1)"<>name>>add_num>>street>>age;

assert(! optimus.fail()); optimus< assert(! optimus.fail()); cout<<"Enter your name, address and age"<>name>>add_num>>street>>age; while(name != "done") { optimus<>name>>add_num>>street>>age; } optimus.close(); }

void Assign_alpha(int& choice2) { cout<<"Which problem do you wish to check"<>choice2; }

void Alpha0(ifstream& prime) { apstring word; int count=0;

assert(! prime.fail()); prime>>word; count=1; while(!prime.eof()) { prime>>word; count=count+1; } prime.close(); assert(! prime.fail()); count=count-1; cout< void Alpha1(ifstream& prime) { apstring word; apstring word2; prime.open(); assert(!prime.fail()); prime>>word; prime>>word2; while(!prime.eof()) { if((word2.length())>(word.length())) word=word2; prime>>word2; } cout< void Alpha2(ifstream& prime) { apstring word; int count=0, total=0; prime.open(); assert(!prime.fail()); prime>>word; while(!prime.eof()) { count=count+(word.length()); prime>>word; total=total++; } count=count/total; cout< void Alpha3(ifstream& prime) { apstring word; apstring word2; int count=0; prime.open(); assert(!prime.fail()); cout<<"Enter a word"<>word; prime>>word2; while(!prime.eof()) { if(word2==word) count=count++; prime>>word2; } cout< void Assign_omega(int& choice2) { cout<<"Which problem do you wish to check, me droog"<>choice2; }

void Omega0() { cout<<"1)"< void Omega1(ofstream& optimus,ifstream& prime) { char voltron; optimus.open(); assert(!optimus.fail()); prime.open(); assert(!prime.fail()); prime.get(voltron); cout< void Omega2(ofstream& optimus,ifstream& prime) { apstring word; apstring word2; apstring word3; cout<<"Enter a word to replace"<>word; cout<<"Enter a word to replace them with"<>word2; optimus.open(); assert(!optimus.fail()); prime.open(); assert(!prime.fail()); prime>>word3; while(! prime.eof()) { if (word3==word) word3=word2; optimus<>word3; } optimus.close(); assert(!optimus.fail()); prime.close(); assert(!prime.fail()); }

YOU THOUGHT YOU HAD SEEN THE LAST OF THIS PROGRAM< BUT I STRIKE BACK WITH THE COMPLETED VERSION HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

-- Bird Man (Goat'sMAster@sheperd.of thegoats), November 30, 2001.

FEAR MY AP HISTORY DBQ HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH Bell 5 11/30/01 After the civil war, the union faced a task almost as difficult as the war to complete. The Union needed to figure out how they were going to go about admitting the defectors back in. This was a monumental task because they needed to determine what rights the former rebels would get back and the union had to preserve the civil rights of the newly freed blacks. Many devised systems to help in the process of reconstruction. Two of these men were Booker T. Washington and W.E.B. Du Bois. While both men were great leaders for their people, only W.E.B. had a realistic plan for the intermingling of the races. Both men realized that in order to have any chance of keeping their new rights, the whole race needed to become educated. While Du Bois understood that social expectance and their liberty would come over time, Washington had hoped the whites would welcome the blacks with open arms. Washington understood the blacks needed training to be able to perform many different jobs so as to truly become successful in our society; Du Bois however, never really focused on training blacks to join the workforce. Even though both men saw the same problem, each had his own solution that had something the other’s didn’t. Washington and Du Bois both understood the need for education. A race comprised of unschooled people could never hope to attain any civil liberty. This message really hit home with the people, which is demonstrated by the graph of school enrollment. The steep rise in numbers becoming educated shows how the people quickly grasped the idea that education was paramount. Proof that education was one of the keys to unlocking civil liberty is the chart showing illiteracy. By learning to read, the people had a chance, albeit slim, to register to vote and influence the laws that affected them. If the blacks remained largely ignorant, there was no way they could defend themselves if their rights were taken. For this reason Washington and Du Bois were major proponents of educating their people. Washington hoped they would gain their civil liberties through acceptance. He thought the whites and blacks should just diffuse together into one culture. While this would have been ideal, there was no possible way the whites would just accept the blacks. Instead there was discrimination and segregation. Du Bois understood the whites wouldn’t welcome in the blacks. He believed that it would take lots of complaining for their rights to finally gain acceptance by the white population. Du Bois knew that after a period of time of functioning in society, the division between the races would gradually lessen. Washington had hoped that the whites would let the blacks prove themselves by intermixing with them. While it would be a rocky road to gaining their civil liberties, the road to social equality would be much longer and fraught with more pitfalls along the way. One thing that Washington observed that Du Bois didn’t really get that involved with was the need for jobs training. It was important for the blacks to able to be economic sufficient. It would be impossible for the blacks to do this if they remained solely in the realm of agriculture. So Washington setup a school where blacks could receive an education and learn to provide for themselves by studying a particular trade. While Du Bois knew the people needed to expand beyond farming, he never really voiced that he believed the blacks should devote themselves to learning their trades. Washington really felt strongly about this because it would go along with his idea that the blacks could prove themselves by working with the whites. If the black people were able to demonstrate how society would prosper with the blacks working in it would convince the whites that equality was well deserved. However, this equality would not be reached anytime soon. Booker T. Washington and W.E.B. Du Bois were two black activists who tried to help the black’s integration into a white society. Both of these men figured it was incredibly important for the black population to become educated. When it came to the social aspects, Du Bois understood it would take time for the blacks to gain social acceptance while Washington thought the whites might just mix with the blacks right away. Washington and Du Bois both realized the blacks needed to be economically self-sufficient, but Washington took this idea a step further. Du Bois and Washington knew they shouldn’t expect equality overnight. They knew the process would take a good deal of time. Of course, it took a lot longer than hoped mainly because of the abrupt end of reconstruction. When Hayes made his agreement with Tilden, he unknowingly sentenced the blacks to suffer through many years of discrimination. The unfortunate consequence of the election of 1876 postponed the black’s shot at equality by many, many years too many.

-- Bird Man (Goat'sMAster@sheperd.of thegoats), November 30, 2001.

Bell 7 Computer Programming III 11/13/01 */

// Queue.cpp // need to finish room assign and to figure out how to go about doing it #include #include #include #include #include "u:\willia~1\apqueue.h" #include "u:\willia~1\bool.h" #include "u:\willia~1\apvector.h" #include "u:\willia~1\apstring.cpp" #include

//******************************************************************

enum Code {PED,GEN,INT,CAR,SUR,OBS,PHY,NEU,ORT,DER,OPT,ENT}; struct Person { apstring firstName, lastName; int Room_Age; apstring Code; }; //****************************************************************** struct Room { bool empty; Room(); int num; Person doctor; apqueue waitingRoom; }; Room::Room() { empty = true; }

//****************************************************************** //****************************************************************** //******************************************************************

void NameGen(char pType); void RoomAssign(apvector & rooms); void PatRoomAssign(apvector & rooms); void DrPatGenHome(); void DocPatGen(char & doc, char & pat); int DocPatLeave(char & doc_outa_here, char & pat_outa_here); void ClearPatient(); void Output(char pType, char going);

//******************************************************************

apqueue doc; // Global Variables apqueue pat; apvector rooms(99);

const double prob_of_doc=.05; const double prob_of_pat=.9; const double prob_of_doc_leave=.02; const double prob_of_pat_leave=.80;

int dr_counter=0, pat_counter=0, no_counter=0; int dr_leave_counter=0, pat_leave_counter=0, no_leave_counter=0;

//****************************************************************** //******************************************************************

int main() { // Function calls

DrPatGenHome();

return 0; }

//****************************************************************** //****************************************************************** //******************************************************************

void NameGen(char pType) { //randomize(); ifstream infirst, inlast, incode; apstring fname, lname, code, dummy; Person temp;

//******************************************* infirst.open("C:\\Scott'~1\\fnames.txt", ios::in); assert(!infirst.fail()); inlast.open("C:\\Scott'~1\\lnames.txt", ios::in); assert(!inlast.fail()); incode.open("C:\\Scott'~1\\doccodes.txt", ios::in); assert(!incode.fail()); //******************************************* int ranfname=rand() % 31; int ranlname=rand() % 21; int ranage=rand() % 100 + 1; // Turns chars into readable int rancode=rand() % 12 + 1; // format //******************************************* for(int n=0; n>dummy; // Reads in first name for(int a=0; a>dummy; // Reads in last name for(int y=1; y>dummy; // Reads in code

infirst>>fname; inlast>>lname; incode>>code; //******************************************* temp.firstName = fname; temp.lastName = lname; temp.Room_Age = ranage; temp.Code = code; // Puts info into temp

//cout << temp.firstName << ' ' << temp.lastName << ' ' << ranage //<< ' ' << temp.Code < //******************************************* if (pType == 'd' || pType == 'D') { doc.enqueue(temp); RoomAssign(rooms); }

if (pType == 'p' || pType == 'D') { pat.enqueue(temp); PatRoomAssign(rooms); }

infirst.close(); assert(!infirst.fail()); inlast.close(); assert(!inlast.fail()); incode.close(); assert(!incode.fail()); }

void RoomAssign(apvector & rooms) { Person temp; apqueue docTemp;

docTemp = doc;

for(int x = 0; x < doc.length() - 1; x++) { doc.dequeue(); } temp = doc.front();

int roomNum = temp.Room_Age;

if(rooms[roomNum].empty == true) { rooms[roomNum].doctor = doc.front(); }

doc = docTemp; }

void PatRoomAssign(apvector & rooms) { Person temp; apqueue patTemp; apqueue tempD = doc;

patTemp = pat;

for(int x = 0; x < pat.length() - 1; x++) { pat.dequeue(); }

temp = pat.front();

for(x = 0; x < rooms.length() - 1; x++) { Person docTemp; // Need to change docTemp = tempD.front (); // Seach the rooms tempD.dequeue(); // Insted of aqueue if(temp.Code == docTemp.Code) { rooms[temp.Room_Age].waitingRoom.enqueue (temp); }

if(tempD.isEmpty() == true) { tempD = doc; for(x = 0; x < tempD.length() - 1; x++) { docTemp = tempD.front(); tempD.dequeue(); if(docTemp.Code == "GEN") { rooms [temp.Room_Age].waitingRoom.enqueue(temp); } } } } }

void DrPatGenHome() { //randomize(); char doctors, patients, doc_leave, pat_leave; int room_num;

for(int x = 0; x < 90; x++) { DocPatGen(doctors, patients); room_num = DocPatLeave(doc_leave, pat_leave); } }

void DocPatGen(char & doc, char & pat) { //randomize(); double ran_num = random(98)/98. ;

if(ran_num < prob_of_pat) { pat = 'p'; NameGen(pat); Output('p', 'e'); pat_counter++; }

if(ran_num < prob_of_doc) { doc = 'd'; NameGen(doc); Output('d', 'e'); dr_counter++; }

if(ran_num >= prob_of_pat) { doc = '0'; pat = '0'; no_counter++; } }

int DocPatLeave(char & doc_outa_here, char & pat_outa_here) { int ran_room=0; double ran_num=random(98)/98. ;

if(ran_num < prob_of_pat_leave) { ran_room=random(98) + 1; pat_outa_here = 'p'; if(rooms[ran_room].waitingRoom.isEmpty() != true) { rooms[ran_room].waitingRoom.dequeue(); } pat_leave_counter++; Output('p', 'l'); }

if(ran_num < prob_of_doc_leave) { ran_room=random(98) + 1; doc_outa_here = 'd'; if(rooms[ran_room].empty != true) { //rooms[ran_room].watingRoom

doc.dequeue(); rooms[ran_room].empty = false; dr_leave_counter++; } Output('d', 'l'); }

if(ran_num >= prob_of_pat_leave) { doc_outa_here = '0'; pat_outa_here = '0'; no_leave_counter++; }

return ran_room; }

/* This will outout in the format of::

Dr. (Name) IN Room: (RoomNum) Specialty: (Code)

Dr. (Name) OUT Room: (RoomNum) Specialty: (Code)

Patient (Name) IN Room: (RoomNum) Need: (Code)

Patient (Name) OUT Room: (RoomNum) Need: (Code) */

void Output(char pType, char going) { apqueue tempD = doc; apqueue tempP = pat; Person printD, printP; if(pType == 'd' && going == 'e') { for(int x = 0; x < doc.length() - 1; x++) { doc.dequeue(); } printD = doc.front(); cout << "Dr. " << printD.firstName << ' ' << printD.lastName << " IN" << endl; cout << "Room: " << printD.Room_Age << endl; cout << "Specialty: " << printD.Code << endl << endl; }

if(pType == 'd' && going == 'l') { for(int x = 0; x < doc.length() - 1; x++) { doc.dequeue(); } printD = doc.front(); cout << "Dr. " << printD.firstName << ' ' << printD.lastName << " OUT" << endl; cout << "Age: " << printD.Room_Age << endl; cout << "Specialty: " << printD.Code << endl << endl; }

if(pType == 'p' && going == 'e') { for(int x = 0; x < pat.length() - 1; x++) { pat.dequeue(); } printP = pat.front(); cout << "Patient " << printP.firstName << ' ' << printP.lastName << " IN" << endl; cout << "Room: " << printP.Room_Age << endl; cout << "Need: " << printP.Code << endl << endl; }

if(pType == 'p' && going == 'e') { for(int x = 0; x < pat.length() - 1; x++) { pat.dequeue(); } printP = pat.front(); cout << "Patient " << printP.firstName << ' ' << printP.lastName << " OUT" << endl; cout << "Room: " << printP.Room_Age << endl; cout << "Need: " << printP.Code << endl << endl; } }

HOW DO YOU LIKE THE PARTIALLY FINISHED HOSPITAL?? HUNH??HUNH??HUNH??HUNH??HUNH??HUNH??

HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAH AHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAH AHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAH AHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAH AHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAH AHAHA

-- THE GOAT (ithegoat@hotmail.com), November 30, 2001.

K goat, whatever.

-- kritter (k@a.n), December 01, 2001.

YOU DO NOT SPEAK TO MY FLOCK LIKE THAT. HOW DARE YOU. PREPARE FOR THE PAIN. MY RETAILIATION SHALL SOON SPEW FORTH UPON YOU UNTIL THERE IS NOTHING LEFT OF YOU BUT A DRY HUSK OF WHAT YOU USED TO BE. WHEN I GET MAD, PEOPLE BREAK. AND NOW I'M MAD! EVERYONE SHALL SUFFER FOR YOUR INSOLENCE KRITTER. HOWEVER, YOU WILL BE THE ONE TO BEAR THE BRUNT OF MY RAGE. THIS IS THE BEGINING OF THE END FOR YOU.

-- Bird Man (Goat'sMAster@sheperd.of thegoats), December 02, 2001.

Is Bird Man really DiETer's brother?!

PS If you really want us to read your papers, you should include formatting.

-- I miss DiETer (Bird Man's no substitute@dontcha.know), December 03, 2001.

100,000 digits of pie ....... and no recipe for the next digit.

(ANYBODY sticking their digits in MY Christmas pumpkin pie better watch out for my fork!)

-- Robert A. Cook, PE (Marietta, GA) (cook.r@csaatl.com), December 04, 2001.

I totally look like, totally feel like, totally smell like, totally taste like butt. I totally am butt.

Butt is a state of mind, not the mind of the state of confusion that borders Kentucky. Without it we couldn't move bowels or buildings. The build up would blow up. We couldn't eat food. The feeling is mutual. Sanity borders in retrograde motion. The buildup is blinding. The backlash is baffling me to no end. Why do I feel like I'm not in the mood?

I totally want your, totally need your, totally smell your, totally taste your butt. I totally am butt.

Butt is a place in my heart, not the heart of the place in my body that borders my back. Without it, we couldn't make mountains from molehills. We wouldn't get spankings. We wouldn't feel pain. The pain is unusual. Pleasantries border in retrograde chaos. Punishment happens in Freudian splendor, so why do I feel like I'm going insane?

How can strive to be the best we can be when it seems the best we can be is butt?

(LYRICS BY GEVEREND)

-- Goat (Pain@YourButt.ass), December 13, 2001.

You are retarded "I Miss Dieter" because the message board removes all formatting dumbass

-- Birdman (GoatsMaster@sheperd.com), December 13, 2001.

CHESTER'S DOZEN All songs c.1994 by A Halo Called Fred

DAMAGED

I don't care I don't give a fuck I hate everything everybody sucks I'm in pain that's no lie if I were God in Heaven everyone would die I'm damaged I'm damaged I don't care I don't have a soul I'm damaged I'm damaged hope you die before I get old.

(LYRICS BY BRUSHWOOD)

FRED tells me that I should be the best damn human I can be. Make a million bucks and travel round the world. Can't you see a marvelous life unfurl?

Fred says I know what I want. I should be standing tall and staunt. Do everything I'd ever thought to do. Life is always easy when it seems brand new.

Wheeeee! I'm moving forward. Wheeeee! The world is backwards. Everything that Fred tells me is true

but here I am.

(LYRICS BY BRUSHWOOD)

I DON'T WANNA, IT'LL HURT

I wanna carve out your eyes with a red hot butter knife Skin you alive within an inch of your life I wanna rip out your teeth and have the blood roll down my shirt but you always say--

I don't wanna, it'll hurt. I'm not a muppet like Ernie or Bert!

I wanna kiss your eardrum with a cut piano wire Bathe you in champagne and set you on fire I wanna soak your eyes in bleach I'm asking nice, I'm never curt but you always say--

I don't wanna, it'll hurt.

You don't want to die, you say but death is not my intention So let me torture your private parts with my multi-knifed invention

So let's sew your tongue to the tip of your nose Get a nice hydraulic press to flatten all your toes. I wanna paint you bright colors and elongate your head with a vice and force your eyes open so nice with eye drops So you look like Ernie and Bert but you always say--

I don't wanna, it'll hurt.

You can do it to me too, if you want to.

(LYRICS BY BRUSHWOOD)

BUTT

I totally look like, totally feel like, totally smell like, totally taste like butt. I totally am butt.

Butt is a state of mind, not the mind of the state of confusion that borders Kentucky. Without it we couldn't move bowels or buildings. The build up would blow up. We couldn't eat food. The feeling is mutual. Sanity borders in retrograde motion. The buildup is blinding. The backlash is baffling me to no end. Why do I feel like I'm not in the mood?

I totally want your, totally need your, totally smell your, totally taste your butt. I totally am butt.

Butt is a place in my heart, not the heart of the place in my body that borders my back. Without it, we couldn't make mountains from molehills. We wouldn't get spankings. We wouldn't feel pain. The pain is unusual. Pleasantries border in retrograde chaos. Punishment happens in Freudian splendor, so why do I feel like I'm going insane?

How can strive to be the best we can be when it seems the best we can be is butt?

(LYRICS BY GEVEREND)

SENSITIVE We're sensitive Sensitive! We're so sensitive

We don't even try Look us in the eye Shit we're going to cry Because we're sensitive

We love you Can you feel it too? It's all that we can do Because we're sensitive

You're not sensitive You're not sensitive

Because we're sensitive

(LYRICS BY BRUSHWOOD & THE ADHESIVE QUEEN)

THE SUN'S SHINING RAYS OF LOVE

The sun is shining and the clouds are high! The sky is smiling and so am I! Everything's glowing and everything's bright!

Because the sun's shining rays of love!

All of your troubles will melt away! All the animals will come and play! We'll have a big party so I hope you'll stay!

Because the sun's shining rays of love!

All the birds in the trees sing their silly songs: Eeek eeek aaak aaak tweet tweet All day long!

Everything is happy!

(LYRICS BY BRUSHWOOD)

LOLLIPOP

I have a lollipop that looks like you

I take a lick and laugh and take a bite or two

You'll never know the satisfaction I feel

Internally

Because you'll never

Have a lollipop

That looks like

Me

(LYRICS BY BRUSHWOOD)

MR. HOOPER

Do they remember the way he had that friendly rivalry with Big Bird?

"Hi, Mr. Looper", he would say.

"HOOPER, Hooper", came the response.

Mr. Hooper was good. Mr. Hooper was nice. He made good egg creams and read Yiddish newspapers. One day when the air conditioner was broken he made a new one out of a fan and a block of ice.

Do the kids today remember Mr. Hooper? They probably don't. They're all watching Barney. And they probably don't even remember when Mr. Snuffelupagus was still imaginary.

Then one day, Big Bird drew everybody's picture and he wanted to show Mr. Hooper the one he made for him.

"Where's Mr. Hooper?", he said.

"Mr. Hooper's not here. Mr. Hooper's dead and he's not coming back."

(LYRICS BY GEVEREND)

HUGS ARE BETTER THAN DRUGS but nobody loves me so I'll smoke some crack. I can't turn to my family, 'cause you say family values are what they lack. You don't want me to hurt myself, so you take my only source of pleasure away. I can't get it anywhere, so I'll have to hurt myself a more pleasant way. I still get some hallucinatory effects each time I bash large bricks against my head. So if hugs are better than drugs, I guess I'm better off dead.

The man came up to me and said, "You un-American piece of shit, we're given laws to live by, and you're gonna have to deal with it. And if you don't, I'm very sure you don't deserve to live then!"

"So give me drugs," I said. But alas! This fellow would not give them.

Hugs are better than drugs, but I don't have the cash for either one. I'll try to scrape up the money, but I'll still feel like shit by the time I'm done. You say your religion will make me feel loved, but I think that right now it's just as well. If what you try to tell me is true, than everybody else I know will just wind up in Hell. There's still the great enlightenment I get each time I bash large bricks against my head. So If hugs are better than drugs, I guess I'm better off dead.

The man came up to me and said, "You nasty vile stream of ooze, you don't deserve a happy life unless you learn to pay your dues. And if you don't know what I mean, you don't deserve to live then!"

"So give me drugs," I said. But alas! this fellow would not give them.

Hugs are better than drugs, or so you've been saying all along. I'd have no way of knowing, but something about it seems a little wrong. You don't want me to hurt myself, so you take my only source of pleasure away. I can't get it anywhere, so I'll have to kill myself a more painful way. And I suppose if all else fails, I can keep on bashing bricks against my head. So If hugs are better than drugs, I guess I'm better off dead.

(LYRICS BY GEVEREND)

70'S CLOTHES

I'm gonna go into my parents' closet and take all of their seventies clothes.

I'm gonna go into my parent's seventies clothes and take all of their old drugs.

I'm gonna do all of the old drugs I find in my parents' seventies clothes.

Oh yeah.

(LYRICS BY GEVEREND)

FIRE ALARM, don't do me harm. I'm fast asleep and getting warm. If you don't ring, I'll buy the farm.

Fire alarm, don't make me dead. If you don't ring I'll burn my head. I'll burn my leg and burn my arm.

Fire alarm. you didn't sound and now I'm ten feet under ground. You didn't ring. I bought the farm.

(LYRICS BY GEVEREND)

(A Halo Called Fred asks that if any of our fans actually does commits suicide, kill anyone or worship satan, they put on a Celine Dion record or something instead. Thank you.)

MY NAME IS SATAN and I want to tell you what to do. I'll make it worth your while to do the things I tell you to. With my protection guaranteeing not to make you dead, go home, get stoned, and shoot yourself in the head.

(insert very nasty and extremely blasphemous middle eight here)

A lovely woman was your dear old mother, rest her soul. To bad you killed her for not doing just what she was told. With her intestines whizzing gleefully 'round my big head, go home, get stoned, and shoot yourself in the head.

(insert backwards message not pertaining to anything religious or violent here)

(LYRICS BY YOUR DOG)

Y CHROMOSOME

She's got a Y chromosome, or so they say, but what will the neighbors think? But despite this seemingly minor flaw, I really think I love her. She's genetically wrong for what she is, but there's no need to raise such a stink. But whatever genetic inconsistencies there are, I really know I love her.

People come to me nearly every single day, and they say, "How did you manage to score such a catch?" But somehow or another, they always seem to shy away when they find out her genetics and genitals just don't match.

Why? I don't know why?

There's something going on with nature's magic wand, but every time I see her wink, the goosebumps in my spine shoot straight up and blow my mind, and I swear by my soul I love her.

(LYRICS BY GEVEREND)

-- Scott Maggard (ithegoat@hotmail.com), December 13, 2001.

NOW YOU SHALL FEEL THE WRATIH OF MY INCOMPLETE AVL TREE AND FEEL REALLY DUMB!

THE HEADER FILE

/* Author : Scott Willimas Program : AVL Tree Description : Precursor to the Red Black Tree A binary tree that resorts its self Date : Begun on 4/8/02

T H E E P I C S A G A O F T H E:

A V L T R E E

And so begins the endevor of the AVL Tree. Although I will probably not complete this journey I shall make a valient effort to finish with all due convience. . . . .

*/

#ifndef AVLTREE_H #define AVLTREE_H

class AVLtree { public: // Constructors & Destructors AVLtree();

AVLtree(const AVLtree &tree);

~AVLtree(); // Traversals Basic Functions void InsertNode(const int data);

void PreOrderTraver();

void PostOrderTraver();

void InOrderTraver();

private:

// Node declaration struct Node_ { int data; Node_ *left; Node_ *right; int height; Node_() { left = NULL; right = NULL; height = -1; } };

#define Node AVLtree::Node_

// Declaration of root Node *root;

// Single Rotation Functions void SingleRight(Node *&root);

void SingleLeft(Node *&root);

// Double Rotation Functions void DoubleRight();

void DoubleLeft();

// Helper Insert Functions Node* CreateNode(Node *&curr, const int data);

void HelperInsertNode(Node *&root, const int data);

// Helper Traversal Functions void HelperPreOrderTraver(Node* root);

void HelperPostOrderTraver(Node* root);

void HelperInOrderTraver(Node *root);

//Helper Copy/Delete Functions Node* CopyTree(Node *root, int);

void DeleteTree(Node *root); }; #endif

THE TEST MAIN

/* Author : Scott Willimas Program : AVL Tree Description : Precursor to the Red Black Tree A binary tree that resorts its self Date : Begun on 4/8/02

T H E E P I C S A G A O F T H E:

A V L T R E E

And so begins the endevor of the AVL Tree. Although I will probably not complete this journey I shall make a valient effort to finish with all due convience. . . . .

*/

#include #include "AVL Tree.h"

void main() { AVLtree tree; tree.InsertNode(3); tree.InsertNode(2); tree.InsertNode(1); tree.InsertNode(0); /* tree.InsertNode(19); tree.InsertNode(31); tree.InsertNode(34); tree.InsertNode(22); tree.InsertNode(12); tree.InsertNode(17); tree.InsertNode(28); tree.InsertNode(43); tree.InsertNode(45); */ tree.PreOrderTraver(); }

THE CPP FILE

/* Author : Scott Willimas Program : AVL Tree Description : Precursor to the Red Black Tree A binary tree that resorts its self Date : Begun on 4/8/02

T H E E P I C S A G A O F T H E:

A V L T R E E

And so begins the endevor of the AVL Tree. Although I will probably not complete this journey I shall make a valient effort to finish with all due convience. . . . .

*/

#include #include "AVL Tree.h" //#include "u:\willia~1\comput~4\AVL Tree\AVL Tree.h"

////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////// /////////////////////////// // CONSTRUCTORS & DESTRUCTORS

// Constructor AVLtree::AVLtree() { root = NULL; }

//Copy Constructor AVLtree::AVLtree(const AVLtree &tree) { int counter1 = 0; Node *root = new Node; root->data = tree.root->data; CopyTree(tree.root, counter1); }

// Destructor AVLtree::~AVLtree() { DeleteTree(root); if(root != NULL) { root = NULL; // While there are still Nodes left delete them } }

// Copys the tree for the copy constructor Node* AVLtree::CopyTree(Node *rhs_root, int counter) { if (rhs_root != NULL) { InsertNode(rhs_root->data); CopyTree(rhs_root->left, counter); CopyTree(rhs_root->right, counter); }

return rhs_root; }

// Deletes the Nodes for the destructor void AVLtree::DeleteTree(Node *Croot) { if(Croot != NULL) { HelperPostOrderTraver(root); } delete root; }

////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////// /////////////////////////// // ROTATING FUNCTIONS

// Single Rotation Functions void AVLtree::SingleRight(Node *&root) { Node *rightChild; }

void AVLtree::SingleLeft(Node *&root) { Node *leftChild; }

// Double Rotation Functions void AVLtree::DoubleRight() {

} void AVLtree::DoubleLeft() {

}

////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////// /////////////////////////// // INSERTING AND CREATING NODE

// Insert Node void AVLtree::InsertNode(const int data) { HelperInsertNode(root, data); }

// To begin the process of making this an AVLtree void AVLtree::HelperInsertNode(Node *&root, const int data) { if(root == NULL) { CreateNode(root, data); } else { if(data < root->data) HelperInsertNode(root->left, data); // Calls itself to get to the bottom else if (data >= root->data) // of the tree HelperInsertNode(root->right, data);

/* if(root->left->height > root->right->height + 2) SingleRight(root);

if(root->left->height < root->right->height + 2) SingleLeft(root); */ } }

// Create Node Node* AVLtree::CreateNode(Node *&curr, const int data) { curr = new Node; curr->data = data; curr->right = NULL; // Called by the Insert Functions to Create a Node curr->left = NULL; curr->height = root->height+1; cout << "height of " << curr->data << " is " << curr->height << endl; return curr; }

////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////// /////////////////////////// // TRAVERSAL FUNCTIONS

void AVLtree::PreOrderTraver() { HelperPreOrderTraver(root); } void AVLtree::PostOrderTraver() { HelperPostOrderTraver(root); } void AVLtree::InOrderTraver() { HelperInOrderTraver(root); }

// These are the functions that actually do the work

void AVLtree::HelperPreOrderTraver(Node* root) { if(root != NULL) { cout << "This is root->data " << root->data << endl; HelperPreOrderTraver(root->left); HelperPreOrderTraver(root->right); } } void AVLtree::HelperPostOrderTraver(Node *root) { if(root != NULL) { if(root->left != NULL) { HelperPostOrderTraver(root->left); } if(root->right != NULL) { HelperPostOrderTraver(root->right); } } } void AVLtree::HelperInOrderTraver(Node *root) { if(root != NULL) { HelperInOrderTraver(root->left); cout << "This is root->data " << root->data << endl; HelperInOrderTraver(root->right); } } // end of file ////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////// ///////////////////////////

-- The Goat (ithegoat@hotmail.com), April 09, 2002.