I'm facing my 10-year high school reunion in a couple of weeks. What was yours like?

So many people have told me they're worried because they're not where they thought they'd be 10 years later. Don't we all feel that way at 28?

-- Anonymous, June 27, 2001

Answers

Jeremy's tenth is this year, but he won't go. I don't really blame him. I didn't go to my five year reunion, and I went to my tenth only because it was being held a few blocks from my apartment and it seemed stupid to miss it.

It was weird seeing everyone again. The people I most wanted to see weren't even there, and I suffered a lot of anticipatory stress about the whole thing. The event itself wasn't that bad, just a little depressing.

My fifteenth is this year. Haven't heard any details, but I don't think I'll go. I've seen what I needed to see.

-- Anonymous, June 27, 2001

My ten-year was this past November, over Thanksgiving weekend. I went because my small gang from school was going - I'm not particularly close with most of them anymore, but I was glad for the chance to see them. My date was my ex-boyfriend from high school (who was actually a year behind me), who went in lieu of my current boyfriend (who was in Wisconsin for Thanksgiving) because he wanted to see the people from my class that he was friends with.

I was a little worried - I was 28 with no undergrad degree yet, and divorced. When I got there, though, I forgot all about that. I look completely different than I did ten years ago, so I spent most of the evening unrecognized. I loved that. I could "reveal" myself if I chose to (and the people I wanted to see recognized me anyway) or go around and observe.

What I found was that things hadn't changed much. The snotty girls were still snotty; the stoner kids were still stoners; the valedictorian had an MBA; my friends were the same people they'd been back then, only with kids. I was pleasantly surprised by a few people. I ended up having a great time and thought it was too short.

The one "surprise", though, was that the invitation said "semiformal". So I wore a nice black cocktail mini-dress. I was one of about four people there who didn't look like they were going to the prom - that was the last time I'd seen so many long and glittery dresses. Sheesh, people, the reunion cost $75 - I wasn't going to spend $300 on a dress.

(I will admit, however, to having my hair done. It was nice not to worry about it.)

-- Anonymous, June 27, 2001

My 10 year is this year. As far as I know it's being held Thanksgiving weekend, and I'll be home for that. I'm still debating going. I was the nerdy kid in high school that everyone picked on (go figure) and I don't really feel any attachement to my school or my peers. I had one or two acquaintances that can barely be called friends in school, and we never hung out outside of class. I didn't really keep in touch with them after our first year out, and sitting around with them for one night may not be worth it.

Still, I'm much bigger and less akward than I was at 16 (go figure). I think my deal is going to be that if I get in shape by then and lose my little spare tire, I'll go. Yes, it's totally petty. It's the "living well is the best revenge" idea. They can all see that I grew up to be smart, good looking, and financially secure (not to mention a huge internet celebrity, right?).

More than likely I'll just show up, be bored, and go hang out at my friend's house watching Fletch. Either that or I'll skip it, go down to New York City and go drinking with my pal Jay.

-- Anonymous, June 27, 2001

I'm planning on sending a buff male stripper in my stead. I want some big, knock-out of a guy, in an Armani suit, with a female super-model on his arm, to go around laughing at everyone, then hop into his Ferrari on his way back to the yacht (or Lear jet, I'm really not picky).

-- Anonymous, June 27, 2001

What do you hope to get from your reunion, Elizabeth?

I haven't gone to any of mine and my husband hasn't gone to any of his. I'm not in touch with anyone from high school. I'm vaguely curious about a few people, but not enough to go. I'm not even sure they've had reunions - my mom still lives in the same house and would pass on any invitations. My husband is still friendly with a few people from high school and isn't interested in anybody else.

-- Anonymous, June 27, 2001

My 10-year was kind of a letdown, really. I spent some talking to a girl I'd had a crush on in high school (she was a good friend's girlfriend at the time), but otherwise I didn't see anyone I had hoped to. I said hello to a few people I'd had nodding acquaintance with back then, but that was all.

Of course, I still lived within an hour of where I went to high school then (1992), so it was not much trouble at all to go. If I go to the 20-year, coming up next year, it'll be much more of an effort and I'll be much more disappointed if people I'm curious about don't show.

-- Anonymous, June 27, 2001

The 10-year reunion was sort of a non-event for me. Come to think of it, so was the 15-year reunion. It's probably because I grew up in the same small Maine town where my in-laws now live, and I see any classmates that I care about when we all return home for the holidays. The people I've lost touch with mostly didn't come. We're hoping for a bigger turn-out for the 20th.

-- Anonymous, June 28, 2001

I went to one event for my 10th year reunion - it was held Thanksgiving weekend as well and since I was back in town visitng my parents I was up for any excuse to get the hell out of the house for a few hours.

The night I went to was very informal - held at a bar. My graduating class was less than 90 people anyway but I doubt more than 30 showed up for this. Very few people that I wanted to see - I was dissapointed that none of our teachers showed up - I was looking forward to seeing some of them.

I won't bother going to any others though - there really wasnt anyone there that I wanted to really chat with - anyone from highschool that I care to keep in contact with I still do. Which isn't very many really.

Highlights of the evening - skinny guy I used to hang out with freshman year showed up a good 90 pounds overweight - balding, wearing shorts and a baseballcap (to hide his very balding head) and proudly announced he had been promoted to assistant manager of a taco Bell. The guy who was the outcast made it a point of talking to each and everyperson at the reunion, explaining that he had been clean and sober for x-amount of months, and the reason he was so out of it at school was because he was doing lots of drugs. And he really ~wasn't~ gay, he just wanted us all to think that - even though I don't think anybody did (okay, how do you excuse yourself away from*that* conversation?) And one girl brought photos of all her 4 kids, none of which have the same father, and she is a single mom.

Good catholics all around ;)

Of course, I wasn't any better. I only really went for shock value. Dressed up in my club clothes - cat suit, big boots, and with all the piercings ablazin, and then handed out copies of my book (erotica with my B&W photos of myself). Hung out for awhile, had a few drinks, had assholes who wouldn't speak to me in highschool try to hit on me (was hilarious) and then I left.

If only some of the nuns had shown up, it would have been even funnier.

- t

-- Anonymous, June 28, 2001

Mine was last year and I, apparently in the throes of some sort of fugue state, ended up going. I knew my best friend wouldn't be there because she lives in another country now, and I hated the rest of my classmates with the white hot passion of a thousand suns.

But then I started thinking (yes, a recipe for disaster): is it wrong of me to hate these people for who/what they were at 18? I don't think I'd like people to judge me based on how I was when I was 18. So. I went.

It sucked. Everyone was still evil. I went back to NYC and went out drinking. A lot.

But hey, I tried, right?

-- Anonymous, June 28, 2001

You know... I'm glad you said that. My school has reunions every four years - not by year, just for anyone who ever went there. It was an American school overseas that no longer exists, and alumni were there from the early 70s to the early 90s, when the base closed, and the reunions are held in different locations each time. This one was just a few hours away, was being attended by one person I have kept in touch with, and I almost went...

Except I kept reacting in a not-so-happy way to some of the others I knew were going, including the one in charge of running the whole thing, but I couldn't remember WHY exactly.

It took me 20 years to forget which ones I didn't like, and I punked out of going because I decided I didn't want to have my memory refreshed. From some of the post-reunion email I saw, my instincts were right. I'd rather just remember them through the happy haze of early-onset senility.

-- Anonymous, June 28, 2001

I went to my ten year hoping that all the cliques and groups and bullshit would have magically vanished.

They hadn't. Silly me.

After a very short time, my (then) husband and I ended up sitting in the hotel bar, drinking with the only people I could stand to be around for more than five mintues - a mousy silent shy high school girl who had transformed into a confident and successful biomedical researcher and her Pulitzer-prize winning reporter husband.

Haven't had the desire to attend any more of them.

-- Anonymous, June 28, 2001

I'm rather looking forward to mine, which is in September. I know a lot of people for whom high school was a really horrible time. Not so for me. I went to a small school - about 125 in my graduating class - and there were plenty (PLENTY!) of people I didn't particularly like, but I had a reasonably good time. Class Queer or not, I had close friends, got along with everyone, nobody picked on me (to my face), and my jokes regularly got laughs. And hey, I slept with the homecoming queen, which is more than any of those football bozos can say. Heh. It's nice to run into people from that time, mostly.

There are some HS classmates I keep in touch with, nice people who were my friends then and probably always will be. Of course I'm looking forward to their having an opportunity to come to town sometime when it's not Christmas and they can hang out, but I'm mostly thiking of the reunion in terms of people I've completely lost touch with.

I'm totally feeling sucked into some of the (for lack of a better word) cattiness on this front. I can't wait to show off my girl, preferably in something short and black. Is that so wrong?

-- Anonymous, June 29, 2001

I'm like, the reunion queen. Ahem. I went to my 2-year for Smith, plus went back and marched as a 'Class of 1776' for the year after a graduated 'cos I wanted to cheer on my friends who were graduating that year.

I didn't go for 1999 and 2000 due to time and money constraints, but I went to my 5-year and while I didn't attend a single scheduled event I had fun catching up with friends and doing the town again.

For high school, I went to the 5-year for both the school I graduated from (CHS), and the school I went to from 6th-10th grades (AIS).

The CHS reunion was a total blast. Folks hadn't changed much then, except for weight losses and gains. We had it at a bar and had a dance floor and generally I just loved all the cool conversations.

The AIS reunion blew chunks. Prissy private school girls hadn't changed a bit and I was grinding my teeth just as I did when I was a teenager.

I've got no plans to go to another AIS reunion party for my class. I'll go to the school and visit my teachers, but forget about my classmates, there are only maybe 3 of them I'd even want to talk to again and I've no way of knowing if they're going to be there or not.

As for my 10-year for CHS? Sure thing, baby. It's next year -- don't know if it'll be a summer or a Thanksgiving thing. But I'd definitely go to that one. I'm not much worried about it either ... probably because even if I haven't done what I -planned- to do, I'm still generally happy with my life.

The only drawback that reunions have for me, is that usually I have friends from across classes that I'd love to see again and reunions focus only on your own class year.

-- Anonymous, July 02, 2001