Just exploring the net, I didn't realize you people were allowed access to computers at this "funny farm", get well soon....

-- mitch hearn (moopups1@aol.com), July 03, 2001

Answers

Mitch. . .

Please! It's an asylum, NOT a "funny farm" . . .

BIG difference! ;-)

And for your information. . .laughter IS the best medicine!

-- Brooke (Happiness@Hill.top), July 04, 2001.

It's not us anyway, silly, it's the voices. We don't need no steenking computers.

-- gene (ekbaker@essex1.com), July 04, 2001.

I told you the rubber walls would give it away...

-- kritter (kritter@adelphia.net), July 05, 2001.

Your email says moopups and you call US a funny farm? LOL!

-- Gayla (privacy@please.com), July 05, 2001.

Do I want to know what "moopups" are?

Nah, nevermind.

-- (PatriciaS@lasvegas.com), July 05, 2001.

Well, it seems I've been given a definition of "moopups":

Moopups are those little creatures that are going to haunt your mind for the next 20 years and there is two of them at your back door right now.

So there you have it. Works for me.

Now, who wants to volunteer their phone number so that when I wake up screaming at 3 AM (PDT) from the vision of "moopups . . . at [my] back door", I can call you and you can ease my worried mind?

Anyone? Anyone?

Bueller? Bueller?

-- (PatriciaS@lasvegas.com), July 05, 2001.

Patrica, moopups are real; why don't you print out your phone number and we could call you at 3 a.m. when they are at our back doors? You could run Moopups Central Clearing House and prove that there are no UFM's.

-- mitch hearn (moopups1@aol.com), July 05, 2001.

Hey, guys! If Mitch is gonna play with us now, he should have to take the fruitcake home with him. Agreed?

-- helen (fruit@cakes.all), July 05, 2001.

Boy, I take off a little two weeks to have a case of new-monia, and just look who all shows up.

Just a word to the wise, mitch; don't rile up the women folk too much. Even though we like to think that we men let them stay around just to pretty things up a bit, there's some of 'em what have sharp wits. Why I understand that they let Helen go to school for dang near six years! Next thing you know, they is gonna want to vote and drive and do all sorts of unladylike things. Just remember, sweetest smile has sharpest bite.

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-- Lon Frank (lgal@exp.net), July 05, 2001.

Lon, women are no fun unless their a bit riled up and to be fair I let them win about 1 in 10 or they lose interest. It might be interesting to come out of undefeted championship for a few more rounds, so lets take a poll: Are women more fun half naked or half drunk?

-- mitch hearn (moopups1@aol.com), July 05, 2001.

Oh, yeah, nice try there, Mitch, but you ain’t gettin’ me in on no discussion regardin’ nekkid women! I just made one little remark about answering the door wearing only a smile, and they were carrying torches out in the yard for three nights runnin’. Scared the dogs so bad, they wouldn’t hunt fer a month.

But really, I can’t answer your poll. I just can’t imagine any woman, fun or otherwise, even talking to me if I were either half-naked OR half-drunk. (I think Robbie’s the one you should be talking to.)

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-- Lon Frank (lgal@exp.net), July 05, 2001.

Now, I know that there are some folks here abouts that don’t think I’m a sofa-tofisticated, sensitive-type guy, but I gotta tell you, I like women. Mind you, I never have really talked to one, you know, but I seen plenty of ‘em hangin’ around LeDues Bait and Gas. (They sure do walk funny-like, don’t they?)

I got down wind from one once, and I’ll tell you, they smell just like a scratch-n-sniff Christmas card I got from one of those travellin’ preachers one time. I liked it so much I sent him a whole 25 cents. Cash.

But gettin’ back to the women - I just figger that they are one of the most usefull species around, besides men and coon dogs. I know I wouldn’t be the same without ‘em. I think my liver came from one.

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-- Lon Frankenstien (evil@twinsR.us), July 05, 2001.

LOL. Mitch, you're pretty funny. Your sense of humor fits right in with these fine people. You should stay awhile. (But I've heard horror stories about that fruitcake; beware.)

(BTW, Unidentified Flying Moopup?)

Lon, I hope you're feeling better. I really can't speak for them, but I think the women folk here just might let you and Mitch (Our New Friend) think that you can get the better of us.

Someone needs to get Mr. Frankenstein "out and about" in the real world. Take him to New Orleans. No one will notice :-)

-- (PatriciaS@lasvegas.com), July 05, 2001.

Lon, are you ok? Honey if you get better I'll let you answer the half-naked or half-drunk poll without any spanking whatsoever.

-- helen (hack@nd.cough), July 06, 2001.

Yeah, yeah, Helen. Big talk for somebody who kisses a mule on the lips! And I'm gonna live I think, thanks. (If my wife doesn't kill me)

"Oh, sweetie, some more soup please, and a little of that cold cider, and some more tissues, and maybe fluff the pillow and change the channel since you're up."

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-- Lon Frank (lgal@exp.net), July 06, 2001.

I wasn't half-naked or half-drunk when I kissed that mule. So there!

-- helen (hands@lons.wife.the.frl.paddle), July 06, 2001.

re: riling? up women...here's a joke.

Q. How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?

A. THAT'S NOT FUNNY!!!

answer must be yelled for full effect. ;)

-- number six (iam_not_a_number@hotmail.com), July 06, 2001.

Six!! Good to see you!

-- helen (mule@kissing.here), July 06, 2001.

Now Lon,

Maybe you should try some of that mule kissing yourself. It appears that ol' helen's not feeling puny {I bet she must have built up some strong immunities that-a-way}.

Did your evil twin catch the creepin' crud as well?

-- flora (***@__._), July 06, 2001.

Lon! You got new-monia? I'm sorry to hear that. At least it's better than getting old-monia. If I'm gonna get something, I at least want the NEW version. :-)

Sounds like you passed it on to your wife, too. Poor thing! Serves you right to have to wait on her hand and foot! I hope you're feeling better, cause when she sees that Helen called you honey, you're really gonna get it! ;-)

Hi Six! How are things down under? Winter time isn't it? Lucky guy! We're suffering through 90+ degrees every day and mosquitoes the size of Australia.

Mitch, you weren't around during the fruitcake wars. You don't want to get me riled up. ;-)

PS- I think ALL of the men should take Flora's advice and go kiss a mule! :-P

-- Gayla (privacy@please.com), July 06, 2001.

Helen, I step in late and just heard about the mule kissing and you did state that you were not half naked or half drunk, muy question is was the mule wearing anything at all?

And as for the question about feminiest changing a light bulb; thats easy they all get in a group, one holds up the bulb and the world revolves around them.

Since the guys here appear totally whipped I will change the question and ask just the women "Are you more fun half naked or half drunk"?

As for the handle "Moopups" that is self inflicted, simple, rememberable, and to put into terms you can understand think of warm fuzzy quadrapeds at your back door, or you can even call them when it is the proper moment when your in bed with your partner.

-- mitch hearn (moopups1@aol.com), July 06, 2001.

WHIPPED!!!

Whipped, you say?!

Why I’ll have you know, you misguided miscreant, that I rule the roast around here. The roost, too. I am Captain of a tight ship, commander of all I survey, King of the castle, cock of the walk, big dog in the junkyard, pilot of my sensual spaceship, and boss hog in the pigpen.

What I say goes, my word is law, my wishes mortal commands. I am worshiped as a god within my stronghold, my every whim anticipated, my every mood accomodated.

When I say jump, it’s only a question of how h......

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What? But, but dear, I’m playing on the computer right now. Can’t the dishes wait? Just a little longer, pretty please, Sugar Dumpling? Oh, for cryin’ out loud.

-

I’ll get back to you guys later......... but just remember I ain’t whipped!

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-- Lon Frank (lgal@exp.net), July 06, 2001.

Lon: You ain't whipped, youse fluffy!

Mitch: You are treading on dangerous ground with the feminist and half-drunk, half-nekkid jokes. I see Gayla's around and she's a good shot with the flaming fruitcakes. Don't say I didn't warn you! She may contact our fearful leader, Sir Rob, son of dust, head of the Fruitcake Freeborn and then you'd be up a creek with out a fruitcake.

-- Linda Mc (jmcintyre1@mmcable.com), July 06, 2001.

I've got a little extra time on my hands. . . :-)

Ready. . .

Aim. . . .

FIRE!

-- Brooke (Happiness@Hilltop.firing up the fruitcake catapult), July 07, 2001.

*Everybody* duck, quick!!! I'm not too sure about Brooke's aim! :-)

-- Tricia the Canuck (jayles@telusplanet.net), July 13, 2001.