Y'all. I think I'm getting sick.

Allison, you know I gots to love an entry that gives a shout-out to my neighbors, the Primitive Baptists.

-- Anonymous, July 09, 2001

Answers

There was lots of love in that Work thread.

Allison - did you update??

Y'all - yesterday I went to my aunts house for a big family thing and played with cousins' kids - all three of them are around a year and a half. I'm STILL tired.

-- Anonymous, July 09, 2001

Good day, MATHletes!

H, your page is loading slower than Methuselah's, and your index page is not loading at all. What is wrong with the world?

I'll be updating Berman in a few. Do y'all think I should send out his notifies? He never really said.

-- Anonymous, July 09, 2001

Really? It just worked okay for me. Bastards!

Didn't he say we could send out notifies? I think you should.

-- Anonymous, July 09, 2001

okay, I just lied. My index page isn't loading for me either.

-- Anonymous, July 09, 2001

Well, maybe it's just my computer. @home has been kind of crazy lately. It won't load Jen's page either.

I'm sitting here, and I keep typing and erasing Berman's entry. I no know what to write about! Maybe I need more coffee.

-- Anonymous, July 09, 2001

Maybe your server is down? Or, did you forget to upload it? I've done that before.

-- Anonymous, July 09, 2001

oh, our phone line went out when we I was uploading the other day. Maybe it didn't go up. But I didn't change anything. who knows.

Did y'all see that KC girl wants to start a UBB forum as a squishy substitute and she "ideally" wants Allison to moderate.

-- Anonymous, July 09, 2001

Oh, of course, "ideally." "Ideally", I would also like to have a million dollars magically appear in my bank account.

-- Anonymous, July 09, 2001

MATH +1, WHAT is UP?! I haven't really had web access until 5 this morning, so I am way on out of the loop.

Someone wants me to moderate a new forum? They are most certainly tripping.

-- Anonymous, July 09, 2001

You mean, you wouldn't jump at the chance?

Did y'all find your way home alright on Saturday? The industrial route isn't so bad at night when you can't see anything nasty.

-- Anonymous, July 09, 2001

I know, at first she was like - Well, I don't know if pamie wuold want to do it, so if anyone's interesting in moderating, email me.

How can people be so dumb?

-- Anonymous, July 09, 2001

I know I laughed when I saw a couple of 3WA posts were the folks were all, "Wait - does squishy closing mean that *those people* might register over here?"

-- Anonymous, July 09, 2001

I saw that too. They were like "you know how they love their padding!"

Allison - great update.

-- Anonymous, July 09, 2001

Snotty old 3WA. I'm sure they don't want the padding freaks around, though.

"Mike" updated. Hee!

-- Anonymous, July 09, 2001

Oh, will y'all please let me know if you see anything that's amiss? Mike's website is a whole lot different to update than mine is.

-- Anonymous, July 09, 2001

It all looks good to me. Are there really people who put holes in their heads? Wouldn't that kill you?

If someone unsubs from your notify do you get an email? And if you take someone off, would they get an email?

-- Anonymous, July 09, 2001

It looks fine from here. The font for your entry is different, but I figured that was on purpose.

-- Anonymous, July 09, 2001

Heh - I just read Bermanantion. Very funny, AB. Of course, I know you'd use an extra hole in your head to pour wine in.

But I hope you would not pour in any variety of "hard lemonade," as the three bottles of it I drank at T's Saturday night had me feeling like a special variety of ass all day Sunday.

T, we did make it home, thanks to the unique navigational skills of the MOC, who could find his way to the moon and back, I am fairly certain, congratulating himself for being a genius all the way.

If the AT&T cable people do not step up and fucking fix our service AND our cable Internet hook-up thing, I think I will go on a shooting spree.

Oh my GOD, y'all... big news! I can't believe I didn't think of this until now. I saw pictures of the name-stealing ex last night, for the first time ever.

One of them was a wedding picture.

People. I will let you react to this news and then I will translate my feelings into two succinct words.

-- Anonymous, July 09, 2001

Oh, there are. www.trepanation.com. Crazy fools.

I've had someone unsubscribe, and I didn't get an e-mail. Maybe it's different with different lists, though.

-- Anonymous, July 09, 2001

No, it's not supposed to be different, but I guess it's good. What font is it? It's all Arial on my computer, but I have it set for that.

Al, a hole in my head in which to pour wine is a GREAT idea!

-- Anonymous, July 09, 2001

It's the same font for me.

Al - did you find it or did he show it to you? Please tell me she wore a hat with a veil attached.

-- Anonymous, July 09, 2001

I'm pretty sure that the Aztecs used to drill their own head-holes when they were feeling frazzled. They would also give themselved lobotomies when they wanted to mellow out. No lie.

Allison. I MUST have your reaction to the Galveston wedding photos.

-- Anonymous, July 09, 2001

We were looking through some of his old pictures and we ran across these three had hadn't thrown away of his rehearsal dinner and wedding. He tried to hide them but I was like "Ok. Just show her to me. I don't care anymore."

Now, of course I didn't say this, but my first reaction, upon seeing picture number one of them at the dinner was:

Ahem....

FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT.

Except that she really is not so bad looking. I mean, if you like tubby girls that have crazy frosted blond Galveston-looking hair and wear one of those HIDEOUS huge-poofy-thing-in-the-back headband veils at their weddings.

Say what you will about me and call me catty all you like, but she looked EXACTLY like someone who would manage the office at an apartment complex and have a shamrock tattooed on her ass. I'm just saying.

So my second reaction, also silent, was TRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASH.

-- Anonymous, July 09, 2001

Also, she had ugly flowers, and... inexplicably... though they got married at 2 pm, her bridesmaids wore formal black SUITS.

I had no reaction other than to say "I was hoping she would be uglier..."

Then I saw the poofy veil and started laughing. I tried to hide it, but the MOC goes "I know. The headband."

My one rude comment was that I hope she wore it again on the beach at Disney.

-- Anonymous, July 09, 2001

Why'd he marry her again? A youthful indiscretion?

God. At least she wasn't wearing a banana clip with a puff of tulle attached.

-- Anonymous, July 09, 2001

Oh my God, T, I don't think my holeless head can wrap around that image.

A banana clip. They should be outlawed for anything, much less for weddings.

-- Anonymous, July 09, 2001

Oh, and Allison, you may be happy to know that yesterday, Chris looked through every single Martha Stewart wedding magazine that you brought over.

Ooh - and I think I found a dress. Now, I'm calling all around the country to get it for a good price.

-- Anonymous, July 09, 2001

oh lord. Anything that can be described as "Poufy" and is meant to be worn in the general head area is a bad thing, I think.

-- Anonymous, July 09, 2001

But it was PRACTICALLY a banana clip/ tulle combo. I regard it as worse, because... well... it was awful. I'm trying to find a picture of one.

-- Anonymous, July 09, 2001

Oh, I've been to some baaaaaaaaad bridal sites today - let me try to remember the ones that might have a tacky headpiece.

OH! Davidsbridal.com. That ought to do it.

-- Anonymous, July 09, 2001

Why does David's Bridal try to trick you? Their commercials have the pretty dresses, and then you go in their store, and they have nothing but banana clips.

-- Anonymous, July 09, 2001

Because they're eeeeeeeeeeevil. And tricky. And clearly, they think we all have self-inflicted head holes.

-- Anonymous, July 09, 2001

T, I think this one would be PERFECT for you.

http://www.davidsbridal.com/show_headpiece.cfm?hpstyle=535 1&this_thumb=57

-- Anonymous, July 09, 2001

http://www.davidsbridal.com/show_headpiece.cfm? hpstyle=8173&this_thumb=14

Like that?

Or like this?

http://www.davidsbridal.com/show_headpiece.cfm? hpstyle=8816&this_thumb=5

-- Anonymous, July 09, 2001

Those "brides" look sad that they even have to MODEL them.

-- Anonymous, July 09, 2001

Crap! None of the images will load for me.

-- Anonymous, July 09, 2001

Gaah!

This poor girl looks like wearing this veil gives her physical pain:

http://www.davidsbridal.com/show_headpiece.cfm? hpstyle=6814&this_thumb=50

(make sure you smoosh all the spaces together)

-- Anonymous, July 09, 2001

This is the only one that even comes close.

http://www.davidsbridal.com/show_headpiece.cfm?hpstyle=5351&this_thumb= 57

But it's not NEARLY poofy enough. The back of her head looked like a firewords display. It was that really stiff tulle. You know what I'm talking about.

Yeah, one of those models literally has a "you've got to be kidding," face on.

-- Anonymous, July 09, 2001

No, the whoel page loads, just not the picture of the headpieces. Cruel!

-- Anonymous, July 09, 2001

God doesn't want me to see them.

Y'all, Diary-l has got to be the most boring mailing list EVAH.

-- Anonymous, July 09, 2001

Joh, make sure there are no spaces after the = or the %.

Allison, that is so, so sad. And at 2 p.m.? On the beach? Wholly inappropriate. I can't even comment on the bridesmaids suits.

-- Anonymous, July 09, 2001

I think it is really telling that even David's Bridal, the pantheon of tacky wedding crap, does not have a picture of Name Stealer's headpiece. You know why? Because no one else outside of Jersey has worn one since 1985, when the lead singer of RATT had a shotgun wedding in Vegas, or something.

-- Anonymous, July 09, 2001

H, did you subscribe to that, too? I did last week, just to see, and it sucks rocks.

And who is the fool that backdates her e-mails to 1979? Fuh-reak.

-- Anonymous, July 09, 2001

No, I didn't mean that she and Chris got married on the beach. I just meant that I hoped she saved and wore her ugly head thing for her second wedding, which, as you know, was on the beach at Disney World.

But she did have her bridesmaids in formal black suits - long-sleeved - at 2 pm in the summer in smelly Galveston. They actually got married in an Episcopalian Church, I think.

What makes me actually upset is that they went to Austria and France for their honeymoon. I couldn't even look at those pictures. I mean, they weren't even in any of them, but I couldn't stand to think of Chris in Europe with the girl that wore that headpiece.

I mean, people, it's wrong for me to judge, but now I know what the constant look of relief means in the MOC's eyes when he looks at me. Compared to her, I am like, Jackie O.

-- Anonymous, July 09, 2001

Poor MOC. She just beat him down. With her big headpiece.

-- Anonymous, July 09, 2001

I just don't get the black suit thing. Not in the summer. And at 2 p.m.? That is so sad.

I don't know why I thought the beach. Maybe because if she did it the second time, she might have done it for the first time.

-- Anonymous, July 09, 2001

She did beat him down. She must have been nice to him sometimes, though. I hope so, for his cheesy heart's sake.

I hope she wore a mouse-ear veil for her second wedding.

I wish I could find out...

I'm oot for a sec. The battery on the iBook is about to go dead. I'm sitting in the kitchen, of all places, and have nowhere to plug in.

-- Anonymous, July 09, 2001

No outlets in the kitchen, or they're just all being used?

I'm going out of town again this weekend, this time for work. I love traveling but I'm just so dang tired. And I'm staying at uber-trendy hotel and I feel self-concious about it. Who needs to get low self esteem over a hotel? I ask you.

-- Anonymous, July 09, 2001

Nobody, H, that's who.

Al, you can have some of our outlets. I just found two more underneath the island, where you put your feet. What am I supposed to plug in under there? Nothin'.

-- Anonymous, July 09, 2001

My life is so boring. I have nothing to update about.

-- Anonymous, July 09, 2001

Where did everyone else go?

-- Anonymous, July 09, 2001

I'm making more dress calls.

-- Anonymous, July 09, 2001

Find anything?

-- Anonymous, July 09, 2001

$1800 is the lowest I've found, but I haven't spoken to my cousin yet.

-- Anonymous, July 09, 2001

Why would someone search hannahbeth.com for my site? What's the point of that?

-- Anonymous, July 09, 2001

I wonder that myself. Why not just GO to the site?

My most popular search is "shit ass." Makes me feel so special.

-- Anonymous, July 09, 2001

Mine is Nad's, or Miller Lite Girl. I get that one a lot. How disappointed they must be.

Check out the low self-esteem hotel.

http://www.standardhotel.com

How crazy that it's A&Fs preferred hotel in LA. It's nuts. Orange bathrooms? Bean bag chairs? Models in glass boxes?

-- Anonymous, July 09, 2001

AB - it's me searching for "shit ass." I just never wanted to admit it.

When you said you were working on a splash page I was almost certain it was going to be for Berman.

Well, I'm off. Have good nights.

-- Anonymous, July 09, 2001